Cowgirl_Kat Posted November 30, 2020 Share Posted November 30, 2020 Looking back I should have known I was asexual in middle school or high school. I've always thought celebrity crushes were weird and I never understood all of my friends obsessing over One Direction or Justin Bieber. I was never really boy crazy although I had a few crushes. I didn't understand the difference between romantic and sexual attraction and was kind of naive about sex in general, at least beyond the basic biology. I didn't realize most people thought abstinence was hard. I had some amount of interest in dating guys, but it was never a priority, so I never actually dated anyone. I just thought I was a late bloomer or that girls just weren't super into sex (I realized in High school and especially college this was a very wrong assumption😂). I wondered at some point if I was bi because I thought some girls were cute. Then I realized I didn't want to do anything romantic or sexual with them. I think it's more of an aesthetic attraction. That lead me to realize I didn't have any sexual attraction towards guys either. Fast forward to sophomore year of college and I still thought it would eventually click for me if I met the right person. I only ever thought of guys as cute and very rarely considered any amount of romantic attraction towards them, and just didn't have any interest in sex with them at all. All of my college friends thought I was cute and innocent. They didn't look down upon me, they just figured I would eventually meet the right person. So yeah, I thought I was straight, but just a little odd. During winter break sophomore year of college I visited my high school best friend who was also a romantic interest of mine. We had both gone to Prom together in high school, but never really did much besides dance and hold hands. My college friends thought of him as my boyfriend although I tried to explain that we weren't actually dating. Even when cuddling (like PG level) I didn't feel that sexual attraction that I thought I was supposed to feel. It was just confusing, so we just went back to being friends (it's still complicated, but whatever). Anyway, a few months later and COVID hit and bored me was looking through my YouTube recommended videos and saw one on 10 sexualities you should know. I clicked on it and learned that there was a word for me: asexual. I hesitated at first because it seemed a bit drastic, but the more I looked into it the more it felt like me. I had heard the term before and remember joking about it in middle school with plants or something. And at one point I used to think it meant the same thing as a agender. So a few months later, here I am finally joining AVEN forums. I identify as heteroromatic asexual, and I'm sex indifferent. I haven't told anyone yet. I'm debating on whether I even really need to come out. I'm thinking of at least telling my high school best friend, because I suspect he may be on the ace spec. IDK if I want to tell my family. My parents are fairly cool about LGBT, but they aren't real up on some of the other sexual orientations and I'm just nervous about how they'll react. Worst case scenario my mom will think it's a mental illness, and will get upset (since I've had a few minor mental health issues in the past). Anyway. I'm sorry this was super long. I just wanted to have this out there. Link to post Share on other sites
senACEay_11 Posted November 30, 2020 Share Posted November 30, 2020 Welcome to AVEN! 🎂 🥮 🍥 🍰 On the topic of coming out: you don't have to come out to anybody, but you obviously can if you want to. I'm in a similar boat with you, I've been contemplating telling my parents and family, but I don't know how understanding or accepting they'll be of it. Hopefully time will tell and I might know when the perfect opportunity to tell them will be. Glad you're here, hope these threads can help you out and give you some extra guidance! Link to post Share on other sites
morshmallow Posted November 30, 2020 Share Posted November 30, 2020 Hello! Link to post Share on other sites
Steel13 Posted November 30, 2020 Share Posted November 30, 2020 Welcome! My story is almost exactly the same as yours! It made me laugh when you mentioned Justin Bieber and One Direction; they always baffled me, too. You absolutely don't need to come out if you don't want to; your sexuality is your own business. However, it can also be very nice/helpful to be out to some people. If a friend you trust knows, it is easier for them to provide support and it can be a relief for it to not be a secret. Family is more complicated. For me, I needed to have the conversation with my mom so my parents would be less concerned about the fact that I am not dating and because I was tired of explaining myself. But as you know, it can be scary and you really don't need to unless you feel it is important for your family to be aware. Have some cake! Link to post Share on other sites
Cowgirl_Kat Posted November 30, 2020 Author Share Posted November 30, 2020 56 minutes ago, senACEay_11 said: Welcome to AVEN! 🎂 🥮 🍥 🍰 On the topic of coming out: you don't have to come out to anybody, but you obviously can if you want to. I'm in a similar boat with you, I've been contemplating telling my parents and family, but I don't know how understanding or accepting they'll be of it. Hopefully time will tell and I might know when the perfect opportunity to tell them will be. Glad you're here, hope these threads can help you out and give you some extra guidance! Thanks for the welcome! I'll definitely check out more of the threads. Link to post Share on other sites
Cowgirl_Kat Posted November 30, 2020 Author Share Posted November 30, 2020 19 minutes ago, morshmallow said: Hello! Hi! OMG I love this cake! Link to post Share on other sites
Cowgirl_Kat Posted November 30, 2020 Author Share Posted November 30, 2020 10 minutes ago, Steel13 said: Welcome! My story is almost exactly the same as yours! It made me laugh when you mentioned Justin Bieber and One Direction; they always baffled me, too. You absolutely don't need to come out if you don't want to; your sexuality is your own business. However, it can also be very nice/helpful to be out to some people. If a friend you trust knows, it is easier for them to provide support and it can be a relief for it to not be a secret. Family is more complicated. For me, I needed to have the conversation with my mom so my parents would be less concerned about the fact that I am not dating and because I was tired of explaining myself. But as you know, it can be scary and you really don't need to unless you feel it is important for your family to be aware. Have some cake! Thanks! I love this cake thing 😋😁 Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 Welcome! There’s already such high expectations for my own cake to compete with Link to post Share on other sites
KikoTheMagicCat Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 Welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
AceMissBehaving Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 Welcome to AVEN! And nothing wrong with a nice long post! Sounds like you and I had similar journeys getting here. I so glad you found something that fit. I never officially came out to my family, just kind of let them figure it out for themselves, but did find it freeing coming out to my friends Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted January 3, 2021 Share Posted January 3, 2021 @Cowgirl_Kat A very belated welcome to AVEN! And Happy New Year! It's a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and even though I'm so very late welcoming you, here's a "Lil ol' Daisy the cow" cake, https://cakesdecor.com/cakes/153908-lil-ol-daisy-the-cow Link to post Share on other sites
Cowgirl_Kat Posted January 4, 2021 Author Share Posted January 4, 2021 On 1/3/2021 at 10:10 AM, MichaelTannock said: @Cowgirl_Kat A very belated welcome to AVEN! And Happy New Year! It's a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and even though I'm so very late welcoming you, here's a "Lil ol' Daisy the cow" cake, https://cakesdecor.com/cakes/153908-lil-ol-daisy-the-cow Thank you. And this cake is so adorable 😍 Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 54 minutes ago, Cowgirl_Kat said: Thank you. And this cake is so adorable 😍 You're welcome! I'm glad you like the cake, and I agree it's very adorable! Link to post Share on other sites
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