WaywardHeroine Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Hey, so I've been trying to figure out if I'm aromantic or not, so poking around on the forums I see a lot of people replying to those sorts of questions with "Do you experience romantic attraction? If not, you're probably aro." But I'm still confused as to what constitutes romantic attraction. I know it's probably pretty difficult to describe, so I'd love to get a couple of opinions on what it means. Hope everyone is staying healthy out there! Link to post Share on other sites
AmusedSkeptic Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 I'm kinda confused about this too. I can't really tell the difference between romantic and queerplatonic. For now I identify as grayromantic but who knows what I'll be in the future. From what I've heard, romantic attraction is basically wanting to date/kiss/etc. I just have trouble knowing if I want those things or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 You say you're biromantic. Don't you have some idea of what constitutes as romantic to you? Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Well, most romantic people describe it as a feeling of "more than friendship", whether or not people all agree or even like the term. Generally, do you want a relationship with a person more than friendship? Normally these feelings come with possessiveness, wanting to monopolize their attention, wanting to be with them a lot and spend your time with them more than anyone else. Most people have some other forms of attraction tied in, like sensual attraction where they want to hold hands, kiss, cuddle, etc. Some people can easily compare it to romance movies or shows/movies/books/whatever where a couple is depicted and wanting that out of their relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Romantic feelings are just strong emotions you have towards a specific person that make you want to be "more than friends" with them. You still want to be their friend, but you want a closer and more intimate relationship than you want with your other friends edit: and I second Philip's question. As you identify as biromantic, what is romantic to you? 🍰 Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 "nani?" is Japanese for "what?" Link to post Share on other sites
WaywardHeroine Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 24 minutes ago, Philip027 said: You say you're biromantic. Don't you have some idea of what constitutes as romantic to you? When I think of romance, I guess I think of kissing/cuddling, being intimate or wanting to spend a lot of time with a person in a "lovey-dovey"??? way, getting excited about planning dates with someone, and such. I've always assumed I was romantic because, well, I wanted (or thought I wanted) to be in a relationship and have a family some day. But I'm also very independent, and physical displays of affection don't come naturally to me. I saw on another thread people saying that not wanting to be in a relationship doesn't necessarily make someone aro, and that not wanting to kiss/cuddle also didn't necessarily mean someone is aro. In the end, the whole foray just left me really confused as to what experiencing or not experiencing romantic attraction really means. Link to post Share on other sites
WaywardHeroine Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 14 minutes ago, CBC said: Ah, I see. Hopefully I don't have to start delving into anime to keep up with internet discussions... Anyway, thanks for the explanation. I'm an English teacher in Japan, so pardon my slang ^_ ^ Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Quote When I think of romance, I guess I think of kissing/cuddling, being intimate or wanting to spend a lot of time with a person in a "lovey-dovey"??? way, getting excited about planning dates with someone, and such. I've always assumed I was romantic because, well, I wanted (or thought I wanted) to be in a relationship and have a family some day. But I'm also very independent, and physical displays of affection don't come naturally to me. If you're ever attracted to someone in a way that makes you desire those things with that someone, that's basically what romantic attraction is. Really not too complicated. It sounds like you're talking about all this in abstract, like you haven't actually come across anyone you felt this way toward. In that case, I suppose it mainly comes down to whether or not you think you could feel this way toward someone. If you just don't know either way, there's always the grey spectrum for people like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 46 minutes ago, CBC said: Ah, I see. Hopefully I don't have to start delving into anime to keep up with internet discussions... Anyway, thanks for the explanation. Nope, memes actually. This is an old one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLp2Ukv8YPE Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 3 hours ago, WaywardHeroine said: When I think of romance, I guess I think of kissing/cuddling, being intimate or wanting to spend a lot of time with a person in a "lovey-dovey"??? way, getting excited about planning dates with someone, and such. I've always assumed I was romantic because, well, I wanted (or thought I wanted) to be in a relationship and have a family some day. But I'm also very independent, and physical displays of affection don't come naturally to me. I saw on another thread people saying that not wanting to be in a relationship doesn't necessarily make someone aro, and that not wanting to kiss/cuddle also didn't necessarily mean someone is aro. In the end, the whole foray just left me really confused as to what experiencing or not experiencing romantic attraction really means. You'll just have to see if you develop those feelings for someone or not!! Because yes romantic people can still develop those feelings without actually wanting a relationship or any of the 'lovey dovey' actions. It all comes down to what you feel inside really, and has very little to do with the actions you may or may not wish to take as a result of those feelings! Link to post Share on other sites
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