the dark knight Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 So I came out to my parents as asexual because I felt like it would give them a load off their back in a way IDK. But now I’m not sure if I should come out to my friends or not. I wanted to know what other people did so please inform me, did you bake them all cake then yell “I’m asexual” or just casually mention it? Let’s discuss. Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 Coincidentally, I just posted a link to video about coming out (not my video; one I just watched on youtube). Link to post Share on other sites
the dark knight Posted August 23, 2019 Author Share Posted August 23, 2019 25 minutes ago, daveb said: Coincidentally, I just posted a link to video about coming out (not my video; one I just watched on youtube). Thank you I’ll check it out I really appreciate it Link to post Share on other sites
kumiko_itoe Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 I don't think its really necessary unless the topic comes up. Some of my friends are aware that I'm asexual but its only because my guy friends wanted to be friends with benefit or tried to date me so I told them that I am open to it though they will have to accept my preference. Those who don't ask or talk about such things don't know. Its pretty similar to needing to tell your friends if you masturbate or not and how often you do it. Its not an information they need shoved into their faces. Link to post Share on other sites
Liana Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 Up to you, but I would recommend getting a read on your friends and consider if they would react well to that or not. Some of my friends know and some don’t. Of those friends, half think that it’s simply a phase and that I’ll be like them in a year. One mainly just makes jokes about me doing binary fission. Others haven’t brought it up at all since that time. If you decide to, more power to you, if not there isn’t anything wrong with not doing so. Link to post Share on other sites
AceMissBehaving Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 I’m out to my friends. It felt like a weight off, and made it easier for me to be myself. Sex and sexuality gets talked about a lot, and is a big part of the work we do together. I could tell some people had a hard time getting a read on me, so clearing that up and having the tilted head look go away has been nice. Link to post Share on other sites
bookwormgirl Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 I've told one friend out the blue, flat out, scared out of my mind...and it turned out they already suspected I was. Go figure. It hasn't really come up again since. (I can't even begin to explain how much it means to me that my being ace is a non-issue to them). 😊 I dont know that I ever will tell people easily though. I knew that however my friend responded, it wasn't going to be negative. I think the telling depends upon what your goal is. I think at my core I just wanted to be more comfortable being me, if that makes sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Ringmaster04 Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 I just started wearing pride stuff when I was around them. I felt that the traditional sit down conversation was a bit awkward and unnecessary, so I just figured that they'd know what the rainbow meant and if they couldn't figure out the ring or the ace pride colors, they could either Google it or ask. A few of them asked over drinks and we had an awesome conversation and I think that was in part because they had already taken the time to process the info on their own. My friends are very liberal so it was never going to be a big deal, but straight people don't have to make a scene about it, so I decided I wouldn't either. But almost immediately, one of my friends commented how much happier and more confident I was. Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 That is hard to answer without knowing your friends. While coming out can be a very good thing for mental health and friendship, there are also horror stories about bad reactions. My rule is that if it doesn't matter to someone, they don't need to know. I still use Pride stuff (and wear an ace ring), let them figure things out if they want. I don't care if anyone finds out, but I'm not going to tell them and gamble on their response, even the actively out LGBTQ+ people I know. Link to post Share on other sites
the dark knight Posted August 23, 2019 Author Share Posted August 23, 2019 1 hour ago, bookwormgirl said: I've told one friend out the blue, flat out, scared out of my mind...and it turned out they already suspected I was. Go figure. It hasn't really come up again since. (I can't even begin to explain how much it means to me that my being ace is a non-issue to them). 😊 I dont know that I ever will tell people easily though. I knew that however my friend responded, it wasn't going to be negative. I think the telling depends upon what your goal is. I think at my core I just wanted to be more comfortable being me, if that makes sense. That’s pretty similar to what I was going through when I came out to my parents and I think it’s why I’m so nervous telling my friends I’m pretty sure it won’t be a negative reaction it’s just I get really nervous. Link to post Share on other sites
HonoraryJedi Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 I just kind of mentioned it to my friends, as an aside. My only concern was that some of them have a little of the "omg the snowflakes and all their made up words" style to them. But even those guys have not be weird with me about it. The way I go about it is, it isn't really information they need, so I don't have a sit down talk about it. But it also isn't a secret, so if it ever is relevant I do mention it. Like when the topic of discussion is dating or along those lines. Link to post Share on other sites
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