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GenderfluidCatLover

Frustrated Asexual Furry

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GenderfluidCatLover

Note for people who may have misconceptions about the furry community: It is not about beastiality or specifically acting like animals. It’s more about art and expressing yourself creatively through an animalistic medium. Almost all the groups I’ve participated in are completely PG and non-sexual. That one CSI episode, Fur and Loathing, is extremely wrong.

 

It’s very frustrating being asexual in the furry community.

The actual people in the community are awesome. I never get any issues from them and they’re super accepting of almost everything.

But the trolls/people outside the community are such a pain.

People who think that being a furry means you have a kink for animals or doing it in a suit or something. They’re the worst. Not only do they harass us for being “deviants” they like deny my claims that I’m ace? Even though I don’t even like to be touched?

Its just so annoying.

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andreas1033

Its what everyone does, ie project there own rubbish into your life.

 

I find the more sexually driven the person is, the more they do this. They seem to think, everyone can only be like they are, and driven for sex.

 

Totally agree its annoying, about how they always want to project sexual stuff into anything, or everything you do.

 

Your not alone in having to live with such nonsense.

 

Never heard of furry, but remember, alot of people are like the trolls you talk about, and you know it.

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NylaTheWolf
Posted (edited)

I'm in the same boat, buddy

 

...which is pretty obvious considering my username

Edited by NylaTheWolf

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GreyGirlofMeta

I dunno, I'm not really against furries but isn't it mostly a kink for people? I absolutely understand that it must be really frustrating though, seeing that most furry communities are at least avid in relationships.

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questdrivencollie
9 minutes ago, GreyGirlofMeta said:

I dunno, I'm not really against furries but isn't it mostly a kink for people?

Hi! Furry here. Kink can be involved & the community is very accepting of kink and fetish stuff, but it isn't inherently a kink. It's primarily a hobby.

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questdrivencollie

There with you friendo. Like, I feel like I should be able to just do me and not care what others think, but like....the hate gets to me.

And I'm in a Christian facebook group called Geeks Under Grace, which until recently the admin team has let furries post since our hobby is just as geeky as the rest of 'em. I say until recently, cuz last time I tried to submit a post they told me to hold off for a bit & they're working on a way for us to express ourselves without the group going into hysterics every time someone makes a positive furry post....which leads to my frustrations, I can't post my hobby in the group without getting rude af comments, angry reacts, people reporting my post to the admins thinking it's something kinky & therefore inappropriate..... le sigh

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Serran

Furry is a hobby, with thousands put into the suits and a carefully crafted fursona... and kids go the cons cause it can just be fun.

 

But... it is also a kink. There are people who like sex in their suits and all that. 

 

So, when you mix the two and the only one that hits mainstream (iZombie, CSI, etc all feature furries who are into the sexual side) is the sexual one, plus if you search for images of furry you get bombarded with pornographic drawings (or, if you just search furry, the first image caption is "what its like to have sex as a furry") , then the people unfamiliar are going to assume it is sexual. 

 

Which, can't really blame them. The overwhelming public image of furries is sexual. The documentary fursonas, made by a furry, includes his personal story (interest started with porn, finds the hobby sexual) and an interview with a sex toy maker who markets their sex toys to furries specifically. It includes the fact there are others with less sexual interest, but it is heavily there within the community as well. And people who already think its a bit out of their comfort zones will latch onto the sexual bits more so than the non-sexual ones. 

 

So, I get it can be annoying. Not everyone is into the sexual side. But, it is understandable why so many people think of it as sexual. And, until there are more resources and representations that aren't as sexual, it will remain pretty taboo. So, maybe the community needs to put out more family friendly documentaries and such to combat the sexual reputation. If its something the community as a whole dislikes, maybe a group effort could get another documentary like fursonas... but without the sexual focus that would make most conservative people squirm seeing animal dildos. 

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questdrivencollie

CNN put out a documentary that focused on the G rated side last year. I cried when I watched it.

 

Going by twitter posts at least, there is a vocal part of the community that doesn't want us to be accepted by the mainstream, their view being that that would mean the community would be less safe for LGBT people (a huge portion of the fanbase is LGBT), and that people who make a living selling  fursuits and other things would no longer be able to do that because corporations can make those things a lot cheaper. Another concern I saw expressed would be that sites like furaffinity would be pressured to no longer allow kink and fetish art.

 

I just want to be able to enjoy my hobby without people thinking I'm some freak who wants to diddle animals, I don't want the fandom to become mainstream per se, I just want better press.

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Karst

I think that most fandoms have a weird sexual side, honestly.  Just look at An Archive of Our Own...

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Anthracite_Impreza

Conservatives especially focus on the sexual parts of non-straight relationships, because they seem to be obsessed with what others' genitals are doing. The general populace do the same thing with anything unusual, so furries, bdsm, objectum orientations (as an asexual objectum, I feel your pain)... People are obsessed with the most "extreme" parts of anything.

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Vee.

It's a shame, really. It's the "weirder" side of the fandom/culture that seems to get the most attention outside and has become the token stereotype for furries. I'm not really "furry" myself, but I do have a lot of appreciation for the skill that goes into (non-sexual) anthropomorphic art and designs, as well as with fursuits. I think a lot of them look cute and well-made! I think as with similar big interest-communities like cartoon/anime, movie, book etc. fandoms there will be those who will make it sexual, but it certainly doesn't have to be.

 

Idk if it's been done already, but maybe a thread on here dedicated to ace furries could be a cool idea!

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Zagadka

It is always disappointing how quickly everyone makes sexual connections with anything. You can barely state liking anything without having it reflect on sexuality. It holds back people.

 

I'm in a social clique that would generally be pretty quick to condemn furries, but I really don't know why that reaction is so strong. I guess it is just human nature to be critical of something odd.

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Dr. Beat

Honestly, every fandom has a dark and sexual side. I literally can't google a normal picture of any character without seeing porn of it. Also, as somebody who actually really enjoys most aspects of the furry fandom (other than the sexual side), I can understand your pain. The reason I don't call myself furry is because I don't want the baggage that comes with it. Literally anything can be a kink. Anything. That's why Rule 34 is a thing. It just depends on how you treat it for you. I don't see it as a kink at all for myself. For me, it's just a fun thing where I create fun cartoon animals and get to perform for people. Unfortunately, you can't control what other people think. The fandom looks weird from the outside, so some people will always think it's weird. You just kind of have to make sure that those people don't get in the way of you enjoying your hobby.

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Vee.
21 hours ago, questdrivencollie said:

I just want to be able to enjoy my hobby without people thinking I'm some freak who wants to diddle animals, I don't want the fandom to become mainstream per se, I just want better press.

That thing about going mainstream actually sounds... kind of smart. Reminds me of how (IMO) many online communities like YouTube used to feel more fun and creative before the big cooperate stuff took over...

 

I agree with wanting better press too. I'm sick of seeing people hating on furries and wishing them horrible deaths simply because "it's weird" (If that's the best argument you can come up with, I don't have any more time to waste talking to you).

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DuskFire

Being sex repulsed I've been uneasy around furries for a long time but my SO has been educating me that they're not all like that.

I even met some at the con in Atlanta Georgia recently. They were nice.

 

Thanks Vee!

 

Also in response to all the porn that comes up when you look it up unfortunately...

 

I think of philosoraptor


TRIGGER WARNING

Spoiler

"If it exists there's porn of it, if there is no porn of it can it exist?"

I think my answer would be yes! Look at asexuals! They are fine without it.

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Raire

I got into the furry fandom back in the late 90s, and what I initially found was that it was fanfics, fanart, cosplay and roleplay. Great for escaping my boring / stressful life (at the time, exams & coursework!). I wrote, I made artwork and animations, I met other furries online and off. Great fun. 

 

Obviously / inevitably I became aware / was exposed to the sordid side of furry, which didn't ruin everything for me - it's just variety, and some folks like that sort of thing. 

 

In my opinion (and apologies if this winds anyone up), furry is as niche as you want it to be - it can be a kink, it can be a lifestyle, and every other variety of everything. The same sort of thing as being a goth - it's a weekend fashion choice, it's a decision to decorate your house in leather and spikes, it's an excuse to play 'vampire'. I could even go as far as likening it to crossdressing (again, conscious lifestyle decision to change your gender versus something naughty to do at the weekends). Etc. and blah. 

 

As for the 'animal' accusations, it's a petty-minded person who would lump furries into that category by simple association of "They look the same". I once read somewhere that some members of the furry fandom are into that sort of thing, in the same way that some members of the church are into that sort of thing - don't tar everyone with the same brush because you don't have all of the information. 

 

Back to asexuality in the fandom - we're a niche inside a niche! Come to the ace side! We have cake! :3 

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GenderfluidCatLover
On 7/18/2019 at 6:03 PM, GreyGirlofMeta said:

I dunno, I'm not really against furries but isn't it mostly a kink for people? I absolutely understand that it must be really frustrating though, seeing that most furry communities are at least avid in relationships.

Actually less than 20% of the community sees it as a kink, and I’m betting the number is a lot lower.

as I mentioned in the post most of the groups I participate in are completely PG and actually frown on sexual content. And these aren’t hand picked groups.

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GenderfluidCatLover
On 7/18/2019 at 7:47 PM, Serran said:

Furry is a hobby, with thousands put into the suits and a carefully crafted fursona... and kids go the cons cause it can just be fun.

 

But... it is also a kink. There are people who like sex in their suits and all that. 

 

So, when you mix the two and the only one that hits mainstream (iZombie, CSI, etc all feature furries who are into the sexual side) is the sexual one, plus if you search for images of furry you get bombarded with pornographic drawings (or, if you just search furry, the first image caption is "what its like to have sex as a furry") , then the people unfamiliar are going to assume it is sexual. 

 

Which, can't really blame them. The overwhelming public image of furries is sexual. The documentary fursonas, made by a furry, includes his personal story (interest started with porn, finds the hobby sexual) and an interview with a sex toy maker who markets their sex toys to furries specifically. It includes the fact there are others with less sexual interest, but it is heavily there within the community as well. And people who already think its a bit out of their comfort zones will latch onto the sexual bits more so than the non-sexual ones. 

 

So, I get it can be annoying. Not everyone is into the sexual side. But, it is understandable why so many people think of it as sexual. And, until there are more resources and representations that aren't as sexual, it will remain pretty taboo. So, maybe the community needs to put out more family friendly documentaries and such to combat the sexual reputation. If its something the community as a whole dislikes, maybe a group effort could get another documentary like fursonas... but without the sexual focus that would make most conservative people squirm seeing animal dildos. 

Thanks for the idea. I’ll definitely pitch it to my furry friends in my area and see if they’d be interested.

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Karst

I'm always impressed with the skill and dedication that goes into making and performing in fursuits.

 

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Karst

 

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