MoraDollie Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Unthenalsexual: Due to past relationship trauma, unthenalsexuals are people who are completely unsure of what their SEXUAL orientation is. They might have “figured out” their other types of attraction (romantic, sensual, etc.) but due to their relationship trauma in the past, they are completely unsure of their SEXUAL orientation. They might have a “basic” understanding (for example: “I know I am not straight”) but beyond that, that feel completely “lost”in regards to their SEXUAL orientation. If a person asks them to define sexual attraction, they might just shrug their shoulders, not knowing how to apply the idea of “sexual attraction” to themselves (or know how to define it, period). People who identify as unthenalsexual do NOT feel comfortable with the term “questioning”. It is pronounced “un-then-al-sex-oo-al”. The flag colors are base don the idea of “confusion” and being “lost”. The term combines the prefix “un” with the greek language. Here's their flag: https://78.media.tumblr.com/394284f5b352876b3a18da8f19d84248/tumblr_p3lythBeLa1x4hb15o1_1280.jpg I just wanted to post an informational post, I thought some might benefit from it Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 How about "questioning" Rolls off the tongue a lot easier and -- bonus! -- people might actually know what you mean. Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Learn something new everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Wouldn't this be caused by a trauma indicate that we're not talking about a sexual orientation? Genuine question. Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Yay, a new word! Link to post Share on other sites
Cobie Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 20 hours ago, Kumoku said: ... The term combines the prefix “un” with the greek language. @Kumoku Interesting. (Googled) thenal comes from the Greek word thenar meaning palm of the hand or sole of the foot. 🤔 Could you please explain a bit why you chose this particular word? Link to post Share on other sites
Cobie Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 20 hours ago, Kumoku said: ... People who identify as unthenalsexual do NOT feel comfortable with the term “questioning”... 19 hours ago, Philip027 said: How about "questioning" 🙄 Link to post Share on other sites
MoraDollie Posted February 6, 2018 Author Share Posted February 6, 2018 I'm not the one who made the term. I found it online Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 What's the source then, and why is it necessary? Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 6 hours ago, Homer said: Wouldn't this be caused by a trauma indicate that we're not talking about a sexual orientation? Genuine question. It's just important for people who feel that way to have a word for it, I mean I'm sort of assuming ideas like this one are thought up by people affected by it. I wouldn't call it trauma, but something sexual happened to me as a kid which caused me to want to stay away from thoughts of sex and relationships out of shame as a kid, and when you have a secret which is keeping you from going through what's considered that sort of normal childhood experience it does affect you. Childhood trauma has also been shown to have dramatically different effects on your brain and is linked with a lot of conditions involving difficulty handling your emotions, from what I know, and to some extent attraction is just another emotion. Yeah I'm also curious about the source. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 4 minutes ago, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said: I wouldn't call it trauma, but something sexual happened to me as a kid which caused me to want to stay away from thoughts of sex and relationships out of shame as a kid, and when you have a secret which is keeping you from going through what's considered that sort of normal childhood experience it does affect you. I get what you're saying, I just don't see how this makes it an orientation. For it to be one, you'd have to feel the same way if whatever happened to you as a child hadn't happened. This 21 hours ago, Kumoku said: Due to past relationship trauma, unthenalsexuals are people who are completely unsure of what their SEXUAL orientation is. indicates that unthenasexuality is caused by something that is inflicted upon someone. Neither does it specify who you're attracted to (which is what defining sexual orientations is about), nor would the "desire" angle work because traumata are inflicted upon somebody by an external source. While I acknowledge that some people might feel the need to have a specific term for their feelings, I still can't see how "unthenal" is a sexual orientation. Ready for more input Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 38 minutes ago, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said: It's just important for people who feel that way to have a word for it, I mean I'm sort of assuming ideas like this one are thought up by people affected by it. I really feel like such a person would have an easier time just briefly explaining their feelings. I am too getting fed up with all these ultra-specific sublabels... Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 PTSD is a phrase that everyone understands. It seems appropriate for this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 @Homer Personally I'd kind of accept it as a subset of people who are quoisexual, and fit into the ace umbrella, unless they didn't want to. I guess there could be potential problems to work out, though since there aren't really any discussions of the term(there's a facebook page from the creator which has very little activity tbh) it doesn't seem to make sense to question it. So many of these terms don't gain visibility because people want the term to exist, but practically people only use so many terms and realise it'll be difficult for others to understand. I have my own problems around such a label myself, but doubt any of the situations I imagine them being worth talking about will ever happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 14 hours ago, Thea2 said: 🙄 Yeah, I willfully chose to ignore that. I have a thing against making up new words when other preexisting ones perfectly suffice. Believe it or not, they already have a word for "being unsure of what your sexual orientation is" And for the people talking about it, no this wouldn't be a sexual orientation. Sexual orientations must specify sexes/genders somehow, otherwise they're more like sexual "conditions", like demisexuality. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 17 hours ago, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said: @Homer Personally I'd kind of accept it as a subset of people who are quoisexual, and fit into the ace umbrella, unless they didn't want to. I don't believe in the concept of an 'asexual umbrella' in the first place... As to the OP... so the difference between unthena and quoi is basically that unthena folks' orientation was influenced by trauma? Do I get this right? Link to post Share on other sites
MoraDollie Posted February 13, 2018 Author Share Posted February 13, 2018 On 2/7/2018 at 1:00 PM, Homer said: I don't believe in the concept of an 'asexual umbrella' in the first place... As to the OP... so the difference between unthena and quoi is basically that unthena folks' orientation was influenced by trauma? Do I get this right? Yes, that is accurate. The term originated by a person who felt that the current LGBT/MOGAI community didn't have a phrase that didn't quite "fit" them. It was submitted to a popular LGBT/MOGAI blog online and its popularity took off from there. I can completely understand why this was coined, because I, myself went through trauma around when I first started taking notice of my own orientation, and I think that trauma royally fucked me over in regards to me attempting to figure out "WHAT THE HELL AM I?" Any time I've personally visited the subject, I just get confusion. The brain is a super complex organ. Can trauma cause the brain to rewire itself? You bet. Nothing is really too far out of reach in regards to how trauma can affect one's view of one's own sexual orientation. Link to post Share on other sites
Arctangent Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 2 minutes ago, Kumoku said: The term originated by a person who felt that the current LGBT/MOGAI community didn't have a phrase that didn't quite "fit" them. I can definitely relate to that feeling, but personally speaking, I've never felt that coining more labels is a satisfying solution. No matter how much people subdivide and create new categories, there will always be someone who feels they don't quite fit anywhere. (Arguably, creating more labels might make that problem worse, as this creates new terms for people to disidentify with.) It's an inherent limitation of trying to communicate complex internal states with language, I would say. In addition, I've always found it hard to understand the point of using a label to indicate that I don't use labels, if that makes sense. When someone asks me about my sexual orientation, I just say "I don't identify with any particular label" and explain why, with the length of the explanation contingent upon my relationship with the other person and how much I feel is appropriate to share. I think I'm able to get my feelings across pretty well with that approach. Of course, other people are free to coin as many labels as they like - I just don't feel a need for them, personally. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 4 hours ago, Kumoku said: Yes, that is accurate. What makes it an orientation (as opposed to a condition)? Link to post Share on other sites
Lovelykat Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 I'm usually all for labels if they make someone more comfortable...but this seems less of a sexual orientation and more of a psychological issue caused by trauma. I think it's almost dangerous to call this a sexual orientation, I'm worried people will say "so I'm really messed up about what happened to me, but it's okay because there's a word for that, I'm totally fine" when in reality if sexual trauma is the root of your confusion, then therapy and dealing with that trauma is the right course of action, not trying to find a label for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 People who have experienced trauma still have a right to choose what to do about it. I rather object to the idea that it constitutes an orientation. No, I don't think it does. Apart from orientations there are also preferences and other parameters describing our sexualities and not every "something-sexual" label describes an orientation. For example, asexuality is my sexual orientation, but autochorissexuality isn't, it just refers to a certain aspect of my feelings about sexuality. And also... you know, I wouldn't like to be accused of "logophobia". I actually love language, I'm an extreme verbal thinker. But expecting people to recognize all these tiny sublabels and to understand all of them just isn't realistic. I don't even think that it serves people affected by this problem in any way. Saying something along the lines of "I really have a hard time deciding what my sexual orientation is, it's all entangled with the pain I've experienced" may be longer that saying "I'm unthenalsexual!" - but is still vastly easier to compehend... Link to post Share on other sites
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