Is being "too busy" for romance a sign of aromanticism?

[BrownHat22]

Hello everyone,

 

So, I've been looking around the asexual community for a while and I noticed that there are many individuals who would like the idea of being in a relationship with someone, but are too busy to do so. Specially, they do not see it as a priority in their lives at the moment. This is something that has resonated with me, as I like the idea of being in a relationship, but at the same time, I don't want to be in one right now because I have other priorities. Is this a sign of aromanticism? I know that I'm not broken if I am aromantic, but I don't know if I'm okay with that though. Does anyone else feel that way? If so, what do you identify as?

 

Thank you.

 

[Pramana]

I wouldn't say that being too school or career focused to pursue a relationship in itself constitutes aromanticism, but a willingness to prioritize school or careers over relationships might be a sign of aromanticism or gray-aromanticism. For example, I identify as gray-aromantic because I experience romantic attraction rarely and weakly and thus have never been motivated to take time away from others interests to pursue a relationship.

[Philip027]

No, not really.  People who say such things are pretty much saying that they have the capacity for romance and would like it if it weren't for their other more important obligations.  Otherwise they would just be simply saying "no thanks" without feeling like they have to justify it.

 

This isn't a sign of aromanticism, more like a sign of someone that has their priorities straight.

[SkyWorld]

Hmmm, yeah, I don't think it's necessarily a sign of aromanticism. There are even romantics who choose not to be in a relationship because perhaps they're not ready (yet), taking a break, and yeah, perhaps they just don't have the time. I agree that I think it's more of a sign on one's priorites.

[fuzzipueo]

As an aro, I never worried that my priorities were getting in the way of a relationship. I was just never interested in the first place.

[TessaMe]

I think "being too busy" is a good excuse used by romantics and aromantics alike.  If you're afraid to be in a relationship for whatever reason, it's a good defense mechanism.  And if you legitimately don't care about being in a relationship or have higher priorities, then the excuse can be taken at face value. 

 

I like the idea of being in a relationship too, but other priorities and a general lack of interest make it difficult for me to be bothered "hunting" for a companion.  I'm not sure what to classify myself as, but I don't think I'm full on aromantic.  I like tactfully incorporated romance in stories and love seeing a relationship blossom between characters, but I'm not sure I fully comprehend being romantic in real life and the feelings attached to it.  I've definitely had a crush before, but I've never gone past that.  

[BrownHat22]

5 hours ago, TessaMe said:

I think "being too busy" is a good excuse used by romantics and aromantics alike.  If you're afraid to be in a relationship for whatever reason, it's a good defense mechanism.  And if you legitimately don't care about being in a relationship or have higher priorities, then the excuse can be taken at face value. 

 

I like the idea of being in a relationship too, but other priorities and a general lack of interest make it difficult for me to be bothered "hunting" for a companion.  I'm not sure what to classify myself as, but I don't think I'm full on aromantic.  I like tactfully incorporated romance in stories and love seeing a relationship blossom between characters, but I'm not sure I fully comprehend being romantic in real life and the feelings attached to it.  I've definitely had a crush before, but I've never gone past that.  

Thank you! I can certainly relate to not wanting to hunt for a companion. Yes, the benefits seem worth it, but it's a LOT of effort.

[Digs_Dead_People]

I wouldn't think so.  I'm pretty sure I'm romantic, but at times life is highly busy and I simply don't have time for pursuing a relationship.  I just have things to do in order to get where I want to be in life and I'm okay with waiting on a relationship in order to get there.