Slayerin96 Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Hello! I don't know if anyone has ever started such a thread before on this website, so I decided I could give it a go. So, some myths are: 1. Person coming out: "I'm demisexual (+ explanation). Response:"Aren't we all?" Well, there's a difference between CHOOSING to act upon the attraction/waiting for the right time, and genuinely not feeling desire towards people you don't know well/at all. 2. The connection has to be romantic in nature. Not necessarily, even if it might be often the case. 3. "You're afraid". No, I'm not afraid. I just have to know the person to some degree because otherwise I can't. 4. Demisexuals become sexually attracted to everyone they form a connection with. Not true. The connection is just a condition. Necessary but not sufficient. This is it for now, I might come up with some later if I find anything else. Feel free to add more. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Person coming out: I am demisexual! Response: You just made that up! Stop trying to be a special snowflake!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Slayerin96 Posted April 21, 2017 Author Share Posted April 21, 2017 Just now, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said: Person coming out: I am demisexual! Response: You just made that up! Stop trying to be a special snowflake!!! Yeah, I made it up and wrote all those articles on various websites all by myself just to find you of all make people and make fun. Note the sarcasm xD. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Just now, Slayerin96 said: Yeah, I made it up and wrote all those articles on various websites all by myself just to find you of all make people and make fun. Note the sarcasm xD. Lmao! Link to post Share on other sites
orangecat Posted April 22, 2017 Share Posted April 22, 2017 I still hard to understand why sexuality matter to other people. If someone come out to me say: I am gay/les/ace... I would only reply "oh thats cool". Their sexuality fundamentally have zero impact in my life why would I spend my time argue/worry about... Just be yourself, don't take others opinion too seriously. Everyone has a little agenda in their head. Link to post Share on other sites
Slayerin96 Posted April 22, 2017 Author Share Posted April 22, 2017 1 hour ago, orangecat said: I still hard to understand why sexuality matter to other people. If someone come out to me say: I am gay/les/ace... I would only reply "oh thats cool". Their sexuality fundamentally have zero impact in my life why would I spend my time argue/worry about... Just be yourself, don't take others opinion too seriously. Everyone has a little agenda in their head. Well, it matters because it's hard to live in a world where so many people are ignorant and imagine that everyone is the same. Myths, prejudice, misunderstandings are all hard to deal with. All I want is to be believed. Link to post Share on other sites
orangecat Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 On 2017/4/22 at 1:57 PM, Slayerin96 said: Well, it matters because it's hard to live in a world where so many people are ignorant and imagine that everyone is the same. Myths, prejudice, misunderstandings are all hard to deal with. All I want is to be believed. I just give up hope on having a world on sexuality equality.. The fact is that most people are not our kind...you cannot understand the feeling of a fish when you are not a fish.. Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 On 4/21/2017 at 8:25 AM, Slayerin96 said: 1. Person coming out: "I'm demisexual (+ explanation). Response:"Aren't we all?" Well, there's a difference between CHOOSING to act upon the attraction/waiting for the right time, and genuinely not feeling desire towards people you don't know well/at all. This is one that I think needs to be emphasized in educating people on demisexuality. I'm not demisexual myself, so I don't have my own personal situation to use as an example, but I try to explain it as a person feeling essentially asexual - no ongoing sexual needs being unmet - until they have developed the necessary bond with a person, which may or may not happen. Sexual people might go a long time without having sex because they aren't in a relationship and they haven't met the right person to go forward with a relationship - but if their sexual needs are at least part of the motivation for them to find someone, then that is absolutely within the range of very normal sexuality. And, to tie this in with your #4, it's not about a mandatory waiting period or applying rules to people or being a ticking time bomb of sexuality. It won't happen with just anyone. I think that's especially important for demisexual people to emphasize when explaining it to people they suspect are attracted to them or interested in a relationship. It's certainly not as simple as doing the right things and waiting it out. Link to post Share on other sites
hopeisnotlost Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 Myth: Demisexuals can't be kinky Truth: There are some kinky demisexuals out there.There are also sexually-repulsed demisexuals. Depends on the person. Myth: Demisexuals use the word demisexual to make the claim that they are oppressed. Truth: Just claiming a label doesn't mean you are claiming you are oppressed.Hetero-sexuals don't call themselves hetero-sexual because they believe they are oppressed. Link to post Share on other sites
junobass Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 On 4/25/2017 at 11:17 PM, Snao Çoñé said: but if their sexual needs are at least part of the motivation for them to find someone, then that is absolutely within the range of very normal sexuality. I disagree. Wanting to have a sexual relationship is not incompatible with being demisexual. Demisexuality is about attraction. I was aesthetically and mentally attracted to my husband before we started dating. Sexual attraction came later, but I'm sex-favorable and knowing I wanted a sex partner before I had one doesn't make me not a demisexual. I've never experienced attraction before or after being with him. Link to post Share on other sites
DemiDelilah Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 On 4/25/2017 at 8:17 PM, Snao Çoñé said: This is one that I think needs to be emphasized in educating people on demisexuality. I'm not demisexual myself, so I don't have my own personal situation to use as an example, but I try to explain it as a person feeling essentially asexual - no ongoing sexual needs being unmet - until they have developed the necessary bond with a person, which may or may not happen. Sexual people might go a long time without having sex because they aren't in a relationship and they haven't met the right person to go forward with a relationship - but if their sexual needs are at least part of the motivation for them to find someone, then that is absolutely within the range of very normal sexuality. And, to tie this in with your #4, it's not about a mandatory waiting period or applying rules to people or being a ticking time bomb of sexuality. It won't happen with just anyone. I think that's especially important for demisexual people to emphasize when explaining it to people they suspect are attracted to them or interested in a relationship. It's certainly not as simple as doing the right things and waiting it out. On 4/29/2017 at 3:53 PM, junobass said: I disagree. Wanting to have a sexual relationship is not incompatible with being demisexual. Demisexuality is about attraction. I was aesthetically and mentally attracted to my husband before we started dating. Sexual attraction came later, but I'm sex-favorable and knowing I wanted a sex partner before I had one doesn't make me not a demisexual. I've never experienced attraction before or after being with him. I agree with junobass. I'm demisexual, and didn't start having sexual feelings at all until I created a romantic bond with my first partner. After that, I enjoyed feeling sexual, and sought out a relationship with someone to feel those feelings again. I didn't have sexual feelings for most of my following partners, even though a romantic bond was formed. But I dated people because I wanted there to be. I liked that aspect of myself, I enjoyed feeling sexual. But it's not something I can really feel (meaning I don't have sexual feelings otherwise. I can't get turned on by others, and don't have a desire to have sex with other people) without a strong bond. And even now, being in a relationship where I do have sexual feelings, I don't have them all the time. I think you can definitely be asexual and want a relationship so you can have sex. It's not just a sexual trait. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 On 21.4.2017 at 3:30 PM, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said: Person coming out: I am demisexual! Response: You just made that up! Stop trying to be a special snowflake!!! That's exactly what I got as first response when trying to "come out" to some people. It made me stop immediatedly. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 4 hours ago, Ryan Wright said: That's exactly what I got as first response when trying to "come out" to some people. It made me stop immediatedly. Yeah,that is why I only came out to 4 people I know for sure would be accepting. I usually keep my asexuality to myself, I don't want the possible annoying backlash from other people. Link to post Share on other sites
Puck Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 1 hour ago, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said: Yeah,that is why I only came out to 4 people I know for sure would be accepting. I usually keep my asexuality to myself, I don't want the possible annoying backlash from other people. 6 hours ago, Ryan Wright said: That's exactly what I got as first response when trying to "come out" to some people. It made me stop immediatedly. Sorry you both had a hard time talking with others about your sexuality I am really happy you feel you can come here and speak your mind! It does a lot to educate and build the community that you feel you can share your experiences and support each other I hope you know what you feel is absolutely valid and you are welcome here Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 2 hours ago, Puck said: Sorry you both had a hard time talking with others about your sexuality I am really happy you feel you can come here and speak your mind! It does a lot to educate and build the community that you feel you can share your experiences and support each other I hope you know what you feel is absolutely valid and you are welcome here Yes absolutedly! It took me so long to post the first commnet here but I'm so glad I did. I'm feeling much better and accepted now Link to post Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 2 hours ago, Puck said: Sorry you both had a hard time talking with others about your sexuality I am really happy you feel you can come here and speak your mind! It does a lot to educate and build the community that you feel you can share your experiences and support each other I hope you know what you feel is absolutely valid and you are welcome here ☝👍 Link to post Share on other sites
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