I don't know where in the aromantic spectrum I stand?

[Anony-moose]

For a while I've been wondering if I'm aromantic or greyromantic? Because I don't get crushes (the last one I had was in 5th grade but now that I look back at it I just thought the boy was reaally handsome and aesthetically pleasing and I had no desire to confess or even talk to him at all) and I just cannot understand how some people get into romantic relationships without being friends with their partner beforehand??

 

I've thought about being demiromantic, but so far in every strong friendship I've had I just see the possibility of me having a crush on my friends decreasing because I can't think of them romantically after establishing that strong of a friendship.

 

But then when I read books with romance I find it really cute and like, get the feels, but I never experience those feelings myself? Although I would like to one day experience being in a romantic relationship, at least once in my life, but my brain so far has just been like "nah bro"

 

In conclusion, I am confused.

[aquas]

I'd say you're frayromantic! Frayromantic means that you develop crushed/romantic feelings for people but they fade overtime as you get to know the person.

I hope this helped!! :>

[Anony-moose]

37 minutes ago, light-brush said:

I'd say you're frayromantic! Frayromantic means that you develop crushed/romantic feelings for people but they fade overtime as you get to know the person.

I hope this helped!! :>

I considered that, but thing is, I don't get crushes, which is also kinda confusing. But I can relate to the aspect of frayromantic where I can't feel romantic feelings towards close friends. Like, I just think that even if I do develop romantic feelings for someone it'll never be a close friend

Thanks though!! :3

[Topi]

8 hours ago, Anony-moose said:

For a while I've been wondering if I'm aromantic or greyromantic? Because I don't get crushes (the last one I had was in 5th grade but now that I look back at it I just thought the boy was reaally handsome and aesthetically pleasing and I had no desire to confess or even talk to him at all) and I just cannot understand how some people get into romantic relationships without being friends with their partner beforehand??

 

I've thought about being demiromantic, but so far in every strong friendship I've had I just see the possibility of me having a crush on my friends decreasing because I can't think of them romantically after establishing that strong of a friendship.

 

But then when I read books with romance I find it really cute and like, get the feels, but I never experience those feelings myself? Although I would like to one day experience being in a romantic relationship, at least once in my life, but my brain so far has just been like "nah bro"

 

In conclusion, I am confused.

Hi annoy-moose, what you wrote on the first paragraph is exactly what happened to me and what my beliefs in relationships should be.

 

I more or less like you felt incredibly attracted to the eyes and eyes only of a boy in my 6th grade. I only liked to look for his eyes, didn't want to befriend him or even talk to him, much less confess, but my friends discovered and made me an ultimatum, so I confessed saying, "Hi, I like you, but don't want to date you or anything. Thanks, bye!" 

 

I also feel exactly what you describe in your last paragraph, actually I'm incredibly invested in a ship and pass my days seeing YouTube videos of them and read all day long fanfiction, so I can try to understand the feeling, because while reading, I can actually feel what the characters are feeling. The emotions and everything and it feels so good, I sometimes feel like I'm incomplete for not feeling it in real life, during these times I'm reading, I actually desire sometimes something like that, but then the feeling goes away, fades and never returns. 

 

Like you, I also can't see a relationship with a friend happening, mostly because at the moment when I look at people, what I'm looking for are friends and friends only. I'm not interested in relationships, they seem suffocating and time consuming. 

In these terms, I believe or people are demiromantic or they are already interested in a romantic relationship when they start the friendship, I can't really see how one person can suddenly fall in love with a friend after knowing them for years, but if it's almost a year, they can still be discovering each other. The stories of childhood friends, who get together, they most never realized their feelings until something happened to awake them, because if you think of someone as a friend (and this is what I believe) you will never want them to be more, except for what I already mentioned above. That's why the friendzone was created, right? 

 

Now, I can't help you about labels, but I don't mind talking with you in hopes of helping you find the ones for you if you want. I can't help mostly, because I don't really care about my own labels, so if I can't reach one for me I feel like I shouldn't give them to others and also because I believe labels can be restrictions to a person's behavior, but the fact that you never had a crush can already mean you belong to one of these you said, however I feel like the information you provided isn't enough for me to help you out. 

 

Good luck with your self discovery journey and have fun here in AVEN!  

[Anony-moose]

7 hours ago, ascg4 said:

Hi annoy-moose, what you wrote on the first paragraph is exactly what happened to me and what my beliefs in relationships should be.

 

I more or less like you felt incredibly attracted to the eyes and eyes only of a boy in my 6th grade. I only liked to look for his eyes, didn't want to befriend him or even talk to him, much less confess, but my friends discovered and made me an ultimatum, so I confessed saying, "Hi, I like you, but don't want to date you or anything. Thanks, bye!" 

 

I also feel exactly what you describe in your last paragraph, actually I'm incredibly invested in a ship and pass my days seeing YouTube videos of them and read all day long fanfiction, so I can try to understand the feeling, because while reading, I can actually feel what the characters are feeling. The emotions and everything and it feels so good, I sometimes feel like I'm incomplete for not feeling it in real life, during these times I'm reading, I actually desire sometimes something like that, but then the feeling goes away, fades and never returns. 

 

Like you, I also can't see a relationship with a friend happening, mostly because at the moment when I look at people, what I'm looking for are friends and friends only. I'm not interested in relationships, they seem suffocating and time consuming. 

In these terms, I believe or people are demiromantic or they are already interested in a romantic relationship when they start the friendship, I can't really see how one person can suddenly fall in love with a friend after knowing them for years, but if it's almost a year, they can still be discovering each other. The stories of childhood friends, who get together, they most never realized their feelings until something happened to awake them, because if you think of someone as a friend (and this is what I believe) you will never want them to be more, except for what I already mentioned above. That's why the friendzone was created, right? 

 

Now, I can't help you about labels, but I don't mind talking with you in hopes of helping you find the ones for you if you want. I can't help mostly, because I don't really care about my own labels, so if I can't reach one for me I feel like I shouldn't give them to others and also because I believe labels can be restrictions to a person's behavior, but the fact that you never had a crush can already mean you belong to one of these you said, however I feel like the information you provided isn't enough for me to help you out. 

 

Good luck with your self discovery journey and have fun here in AVEN!  

EXACTLYYY!!!!  It's true that labels aren't really set in stone and change and are a choice, and I myself don't really mind them too much (aka make them a huuge part of who I am), but knowing in which label to fit just seems like a comfortable idea, as in I'd feel a bit less confused I guess (and especially if people ask, like what if I say I'm aro, then turn out to be grayromantic or demi or something? I wouldn't want to make others feel like I'm two-faced or lying :/ ). But I hope to figure out a label for how i feel right now hehe.

 

Thanks so much! <3 (e olá hehe)

[NerotheReaper]

I believe every strong relationship (romantic) should begin with a friendship. That way you can handle things differently when things get tough, because you don't want to lose your best friend. There is a saying "you should marry your best friend." Now marriage isn't for everyone, and that is okay. I like this saying though, because it implies for a serious relationship such as marriage a coupe has established a friendship so then a solid romantic relationship can stand on that base. 

 

 

This is a useful thread with terms and FAQ in regards to romance,

 

But there is no rush or need to label yourself 

 

[Topi]

5 minutes ago, Anony-moose said:

EXACTLYYY!!!!  It's true that labels aren't really set in stone and change and are a choice, and I myself don't really mind them too much (aka make them a huuge part of who I am), but knowing in which label to fit just seems like a comfortable idea, as in I'd feel a bit less confused I guess (and especially if people ask, like what if I say I'm aro, then turn out to be grayromantic or demi or something? I wouldn't want to make others feel like I'm two-faced or lying :/ ). But I hope to figure out a label for how i feel right now hehe.

 

Thanks so much! <3 (e olá hehe)

Oh! Are you a portuguese speaking person?  It's like the first time someone said something to me in portuguese.  

 

Actually, I never really tried to find a label. I read about all the labels and thought which would fit me better, but never really cared to actually say I was that. I also came here more to learn, than other things and stayed because people are nice, the site has lots of game threads and I can have interesting conversations with people, which I can't normally do outside AVEN. Me fitting in some of this labels is an extra actually, not something I seek or care. The fact that I never had a relationship or sex with someone never had any kind of negative impact in my live, so I don't feel the need for any of this. But now I know, that if things turn difficult, I have people like me, who can help me and a place too and that's always nice to know, right?

[Anony-moose]

5 hours ago, NerotheReaper said:

I believe every strong relationship (romantic) should begin with a friendship. That way you can handle things differently when things get tough, because you don't want to lose your best friend. There is a saying "you should marry your best friend." Now marriage isn't for everyone, and that is okay. I like this saying though, because it implies for a serious relationship such as marriage a coupe has established a friendship so then a solid romantic relationship can stand on that base. 

 

 

This is a useful thread with terms and FAQ in regards to romance,

 

But there is no rush or need to label yourself 

 

Thank you!!

[Anony-moose]

5 hours ago, ascg4 said:

Oh! Are you a portuguese speaking person?  It's like the first time someone said something to me in portuguese.  

 

Actually, I never really tried to find a label. I read about all the labels and thought which would fit me better, but never really cared to actually say I was that. I also came here more to learn, than other things and stayed because people are nice, the site has lots of game threads and I can have interesting conversations with people, which I can't normally do outside AVEN. Me fitting in some of this labels is an extra actually, not something I seek or care. The fact that I never had a relationship or sex with someone never had any kind of negative impact in my live, so I don't feel the need for any of this. But now I know, that if things turn difficult, I have people like me, who can help me and a place too and that's always nice to know, right?

Sou sim!

Yeah, I guess labels aren't that important (at least not as many regard them to be, which is okay too!) since they're a bit like zodiac signs- most are relatable in some way or another

I'm new to AVEN but from what I've seen it's super welcoming! Excited to have many discussions with people here and learn more o3o

[Topi]

9 minutes ago, Anony-moose said:

Sou sim!

Yeah, I guess labels aren't that important (at least not as many regard them to be, which is okay too!) since they're a bit like zodiac signs- most are relatable in some way or another

I'm new to AVEN but from what I've seen it's super welcoming! Excited to have many discussions with people here and learn more o3o

That's the spirit!

 

Yey, alguém que fala português!  Se quiseres falar em português já conheces alguém aqui. 

 

Oh and welcome! Have fun and learn a lot.  

[aquas]

On 3/13/2017 at 6:21 PM, Anony-moose said:

I considered that, but thing is, I don't get crushes, which is also kinda confusing. But I can relate to the aspect of frayromantic where I can't feel romantic feelings towards close friends. Like, I just think that even if I do develop romantic feelings for someone it'll never be a close friend

Thanks though!! :3

I was kinda confused because you said "because I can't think of them romantically after establishing that strong of a friendship". Implying that you did feel some romantic feelings for them? IDK, but if you didn't feel any romantic feelings, I'd assume you'd be aromantic, or somewhere on that spectrum!

 

[eurus]

On 3/14/2017 at 4:28 PM, ascg4 said:

That's the spirit!

 

Yey, alguém que fala português!  Se quiseres falar em português já conheces alguém aqui. 

 

Oh and welcome! Have fun and learn a lot.  

Holy crap I guessed what you said here in portuguese and I got it right, probably because I speak spanish and recognised that some of the words are spelled close to some spanish words. Which are used in the same context.  

[Anony-moose]

17 hours ago, eurus said:

Holy crap I guessed what you said here in portuguese and I got it right, probably because I speak spanish and recognised that some of the words are spelled close to some spanish words. Which are used in the same context.  

Cool!! The two languages are really similar when written, if you know one, you know the other! but spoken ooohhhh boii they're completely different XD

[SamwiseLovesLife]

On 14/03/2017 at 0:35 AM, Anony-moose said:

For a while I've been wondering if I'm aromantic or greyromantic? Because I don't get crushes (the last one I had was in 5th grade but now that I look back at it I just thought the boy was reaally handsome and aesthetically pleasing and I had no desire to confess or even talk to him at all) and I just cannot understand how some people get into romantic relationships without being friends with their partner beforehand??

 

I've thought about being demiromantic, but so far in every strong friendship I've had I just see the possibility of me having a crush on my friends decreasing because I can't think of them romantically after establishing that strong of a friendship.

 

But then when I read books with romance I find it really cute and like, get the feels, but I never experience those feelings myself? Although I would like to one day experience being in a romantic relationship, at least once in my life, but my brain so far has just been like "nah bro"

 

In conclusion, I am confused.

I totally relate to this. More recently I have come to think that maybe the few romantic crushes I've had were more like squishes? (platonic attraction)
I never have wanted to ask someone to be in a relationship with me, but I too love romance stories and 'ship' the people involved. I also do this with friends who get together, ect. I don't get why you'd want a relationship with someone you're not friends with already. I've never been in love nor been head-over-heels infatuated with anyone so maybe I am grey-romantic/demi-romantic or even aromantic?
None of the romantic relationships I've been in have been anything but weird/uncomfortable for me. My best guess is I'll find out in time, and not to worry about it