What is Your Ideal Relationship?

[Guest]

Friendly reminder not to label people in this thread.Also, do NOT go off-topic.

 

Thank you. Jayce, Asexual Relationships moderator.

 

[Sofia92]

My ideal relationship is absolutely romantic! Lots of cuddling and beeing close, but no sexual activity. I want to have a relationship where we get a house together, sleep in the same bed, going on vacations together, going out on weekends doing fun stuff or stay at home with good food and wine, have kids - build a family. Just like a normal relationship with alle the good and bad that comes with it (minus the sex). Oh, and we need to have pets. Preferably a golden lab, or two! 

I want a relationship where we enjoy spending time together, but also have activities/hobbies alone and friends that we do not share all the time. I think its very important for a healty relationship to be both "us" and "I".

[AspieAngel]

My ideal relationship would be a non existent one  

[FredT]

11 hours ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

Idk if this can help but since you mentioned, I guess you fit as hetero/andro-cupioromantic  (assuming you only like men) since you never had a single crush but still want a relationship.

I'm pretty sure I'm Grey Romantic, but I'm still a bit confuse about everything. The reason why I never felt a romantic attraction is, I think, because I blocked possible relationships for all my life, since I didn't think sex and romance were two different things... And so I pushed people away and i convinced myself that i didn't want relationships. 

But thank you for your help, this community is awesome!  

[Private]

My ideal romantic relationship would be an effectionate partner who enjoys cuddling and is but not sex.  He would share interests but be more than a friend because he would want to cuddle and be physical without sex.

[Ramiel]

Basically a good friend who I can talk and hang with and who will stick around... if it ever becomes more than that, then we'd need to talk about where the relationship is headed and what the boundaries are... I haven't really thought about it more than that tbh.

[sacredcows]

My Ideal partner would be someone who I have strong personal, romantic and platonic feelings towards too. Flexible in what they want to do and are open to new things, going out for the night or sitting at home watching some movies. I wouldn't mind a long distance relationship, as long as i knew that the feelings were mutual and we could do things together through the computer. I sometimes can get a bit over stressed and can get easily irritated, so someone who would slap me round the face and tell me to get over myself but also totally cool to just talk about it too. Sharing interests and values would also be nice! sometimes opposites can attract but I'd like to share interests too. Sex isn't a ... massive issue for me personally. If they we're asexual thats totally cool. If they wanted to experiment. Id be cool with that too. If i dated a non ace person, they would have to be patient. Im not sex repulsed and I'm willing to try new things but I don't want to feel like its a give and take relationship. I want to make them happy but sexually, I'm not sure i could 100% do that. I would always feel like i wasn't the whole package they were looking for. 

[Moophie]

Hmm... If we were talking a perfect world scenario...

 

I would be with someone laid back, maybe a little more than me. Someone who works when they're working, and knows how to get stuff done, but knows how to just sit back and chill playing games, reading, watching movies, etc. Someone who's cool with sitting close, or practically on top of each other, arms around one another while we murder noobs online.

 

We could go out for food once in a while. Like maybe once a month. To a fancy restaurant or McDonald's, I don't really care. Go out to the movies on occasion. To the library, to cafes. Ideally, they'd be somewhat artistically inclined so we could sketch together.

 

But we'd also spend time apart. No smothering needed. 

 

No marriage, no kids. Maybe a cat or two. And probably sleeping in separate beds. I can't sleep beside another person.

 

I'm also okay with the idea of being with multiple people. But I don't know how that would work realistically.

[Crystal7]

I do not expect to end up with a long-term partner, as I feel God is calling me to the single life. I also do not believe perfect people exist. But because I enjoy hypotheticals and romances, my perfect long-term partner, if I got to custom order, could be described this way:

 

Man

Tender

Gentle

Kind

Compassionate

Supportive

Affectionate

Respectful

Loyal

Empathetic

Sympathetic

Intelligent

Rational

Safe

Trustworthy

Accepting

Competent

Loving

Law Respecting

Free of serious addictions

No history of abuse

Does not smoke or does not smoke around me regularly

Does not get drunk

Catholic

Living Catholic Lifestyle, with Daily Prayer

Is happy to attend Novus Ordo Mass

Is active in his Church

Believes in Gender Equality

Advocate for the needy

Serves those in need

Strong

Animal Friendly

Vegetarian

Has similar taste in food

Is happy to live with pets

Is happy to be an adoptive parent with me

Against corporal punishment of children

Fluent in English

Practices personal hygiene

Believes In Modern Living

Able and willing to have a celibate partnership

Close to my age

American Citizen

Budget Spender

Practical Purchaser

Financial Planner

Has a personality compatible to mine

Healthy

Earns a living wage or is studying to do so

My best friend forever first and foremost

Clean shaven face or short beard

Wants to be my life partner

Willing to make a lifelong commitment to our relationship for better or for worse

Has some hobbies in common with me

Has de-stress strategies that are compatible with mine

Willing to live together or in a 20> minute radius from me

 

Honestly what things we would do in the relationship are impossible for me to predict, because it would depend so much on circumstances and who he was. But I imagine lots of cuddling, hand holding and hugs, going to amusement parks together, woodland hikes with our dogs, going to buffets, making sandcastles on the beach, watching lots of movies on the couch together with a bowl of popcorn, praying in Eucharistic Adoration side by side, dancing around the kitchen to our favorite music, going on a vacation to Hogwarts in Orlando, discussing philosophy long into the night, going to Conferences together, participating in a book discussion, having a dish soap suds war while doing dishes and attempting to bake something fantastic, getting flour everywhere.

[MissingNoomber]

Someone that is on the same wave length with me, someone that is altruistic. Doesn't mind cuddling a lot and a bit of romance but no sex. That's about it.

[Emily6748]

I would like a platonic soul mate type of relationship - nothing physical except an occasional hug. I'd like to live in a big house with a communal shared area but where we both had our own spaces too. I'm an introvert so really need alone time. I'd like someone who likes a simple easy quiet life. Lots of dogs, no kids. Going out for an occasional meal or day out at the coast. Someone who likes to talk about the world and would listen to me without trying to change me, and I would offer the same to them. I've been on my own for several years. Mostly I'm OK with it but when I see older couples I feel a pang of sadness as I don't want to grow old alone. However I feel my expectations of what I want don't make it easy to find someone who wants the same. 

[ManPlush]

I guess it would go like that: a romantic relationship, with someone I can trust fully, and be close physically without sex (cuddles and such). Someone who understands me and shares at least part of my interests

[TheMadCheshire]

I would want a relationship kind of like something out of a cheesy romance novel, or a romantic comedy,  minus the sex. I'm okay with the kissing and cuddling just being held. There would have to be mutual respect.  Maybe on kids, I could be persuaded to adopt. I can't deal with clingy, so I'd have to have my own space somewhere.

[Rhyme]

My ideal relationship would be a platonic/romantic relationship (hence WTFromantic) with one person whom I live with (without kids). I want a person I can talk with for hours and have meaningful discussions with, but also someone who respects when I just want to be quiet. Cuddling and hugging is an absolute must, don't know about kissing. Mostly, I want someone I can be completely comfortable with, someone I'm not embarrassed to let see my flaws.

[Annie9]

A relationship with an asexual man who loves me a lot and cares for me. One who I can trust and who I can be comfortable around. He also has to trust me and shouldn't feel uncomfortable. We should be open about what we want. He should also like cuddling a lot. We should give each other some privacy and freedom. And we should live together, if possible, and own at least one dog and if we both agree on it, then we should also adopt a kid.

Basically a perfectly happy relationship (obviously without the sex) in which both he and I feel content and comfortable in.

 

[arekathevampyre]

to be good friends with someone (since I am aro ace) , that someone should be : loving to animals , love music/concerts , love horror/gross truecrime stuff , able to handle me when I am in a mess (tolerate the craziness in me) , be lgbt + friendly （I am agender here) , possibly help me go gluten free and vegan . likes tattoos and piercing . Not racist / religiousphobic . Pretty much all of that . And also be able to connect with me as much as possible ,  

[LizModel]

my ideal relationship has to be platonic, poly, and emo ......includes tumblr, unicorns, coloring books, hair dye, fries, matte lipstick, cat, turtles, dolphins, hamsters, rats, cockroaches, and food.

my ideal partner has to be a feminist, black, no priviledge, and should love the way they are, gay, has a non binary gender, and also a civil rights activist online.

[arekathevampyre]

Just now, CandyBuddhist said:

my ideal relationship has to be platonic, poly, and emo ......includes tumblr, unicorns, coloring books, hair dye, fries, matte lipstick, cat, turtles, dolphins, hamsters, rats, cockroaches, and food.

my ideal partner has to be a feminist, black, no priviledge, and should love the way they are, gay, has a non binary gender, and also a civil rights activist online.

not bad .  

[James121]

On 17/12/2016 at 10:10 PM, Flyaway4me said:

Hello Lovelies,

 

I am aromantic and demi-sexual. As of today, this is my ideal relationship(s). 

My ideal relationship(s) would be to have one primary partner with whom I live with, without children. We would have our own jobs but spend time together doing shared interests such as going to museums, going to the theatre and traveling together.

 

I also wish to have a small network of platonic non-sexual cuddle partners with whom I have dates once a week with. My partner would have the same privilege. I would not live with them, but they would hopefully live nearby. They are free to have their own partners as well. I would be best friends with all my cuddle partners, and we would emotionally support each other. My primary partner would know them, and hopefully be friends with them as well.

 

Best,

Em

I prefer to have a primary partner whom I'm willing to share everything with from my secrets to my worries to my joy to my body. My friends whilst an important feature of my life would still only ever be my friends because that uniqueness of what I have with my primary partner is what makes it a very special relationship.

[sir octepus tea]

Interesting question, though it's not anything I've  really given any thought these last few years. Though I'm happy to say that the one I'm currently in kinda mirrors what would be ideal in some things. 

 

Well most important, like with anything else the person has to be comfortable with all aspects of me, even the less palatable. That's kid of a given though. 

I'm very touchy (one of my main love languages is touch), so someone who is pretty comfortable with touch, especially hour-long cuddle sessions. 

But I also need some independence, if we have to do everything together all the time it gets old really quickly. It's better to miss each other a little than getting sick of the other person constantly being around. 

I'm kinda tired so that's all I can come up with at the moment. 

[Puck]

A partner in crime, someone to share the little things with, someone to laugh with, someone to challenge me, someone I'm not afraid to talk to, someone who gets not just what I'm going through but why I'm going through it.

 

I'm a talkative one, so having someone to bounce ideas off of is key for me. I want to feel heard and understood. I hope to be able to do the same for my partner.

 

I want to go on silly adventures like heading to Disneyland for the day or a 3 week trip to Australia. I want to support each others goals and careers, whatever that means. Reading each others first drafts of novels or heading to an accounting conventions (is that a thing?)

 

I want to stay up late drinking wine and explaining how we are going to change this world for the best.

 

I feel like I'm throwing these vague ideas out, but I guess I think a relationship is mostly what you build  I can say I want a house and kids one day, but the reality is I would give that up if I found someone I truly loved and they wanted to spend our life together traveling and exploring instead of following the familiar trip. I guess I just want someone to figure out the future with, someone who makes me feel loved and accepts all the love I'm willing to give.

[Kelpie]

Having someone I enjoy living together with. Someone I can watch endless Netflix marathons, cook together, cuddle on the couch, talk about things that interest us, talk about things that upset me or my partner, being there for each other.. just being there for each other mostly. 

[russtopher]

Complete trust and understanding. Loyalty.

 

All of the other things like netflixing, cuddling, day to day life enjoyments are just extra bonuses.

 

Until then I will remain single or any relationship I have will be open.

[YamiCake]

For me I'd have to say someone I could trust completely. 

Hopefully we'd have things in common, doesn't have to be everything but a few things would be cool. 

Absolutely no sex involved but cuddling would be welcomed. I don't mind kisses either as long as there's no tongue involved.

I'd like to live with them, play video games, watch movies/shows/anime and have a good time.

No kids, but a dog or 2 would be nice.

I'd want us to support each other.

 

 

[cheshers]

I want to live under one roof with someone who loves to laugh as much as I do. Be my best friend and I'll be yours, and we'll give each other so much simple joy just by being in the same room, understanding each other's likes/dislikes/boundaries, and knowing that I'm yours and you're mine. Comfort and trust are two big things, and one or the other always seemed to be lacking in my past relationships: I want to be comfortable enough to cuddle up to you on the couch, but only if I can trust that you won't make it into something it's not meant to be. Cuddling is nice sometimes, but I like to have my own space and ideally the guy I'm with will feel the same way. None of that arm around me in bed, either, because honestly how do people even sleep like that?!

 

In that regard, we'll enjoy being close to one another but there'll be no need for physical contact to make that simple fact known. It'll just be obvious, and therefore comfortable. It would be a breath of fresh air to have someone that I can look at with so much love in my eyes, and not have it need to lead to a kiss or some other physical expression of it--we'd just know that it's there and there'd be no question about it. 

 

I'm pretty sure this will turn into a novel if I don't quit, so I'll just circle back around and end on that best friend bit I started with. If I can find a best friend somewhere out there that just so happens to also want all of the benefits of romance with no sex under any circumstances, then great! Let's go on fun, casual dates that don't even feel like dates and get to know each other, and let's see where it takes us. 

 

WOW, That felt awesome to write. This thread is a really interesting read. 

[malickathetato]

My ideal relationship would be with someone who I can be open up with emotionally. Someone who would want to stay up late nights and talk about everything and nothing. Someone who understands me mentally. Someone who understands that we don't need to have physical contact (sex) to prove our love for one another. Someone who I can watch netflix and cuddle on the couch with and eat a bunch of snacks. My ideal relationship would be with a person who I can just lie in bed with and talk about our dreams and our futures. A relationship where we encourage each other to be our best, do our best, and just generally be kinder and better people. I want a relationship where we could be talking and when we get quiet the silence won't be awkward. A relationship with no sex or kissing. No kids of course. A dog or two would be nice. We would live in this two bedroom house/apartment. We would each have our own room for when we don't feel like sleeping in the same bed.

[Mattie89]

I had something a while back that was pretty special. 
 

Once upon a time I lived with someone beautiful. They had the most gorgeous smile I'd ever seen, the prettiest eyes. But, if you ever tried to keep a flower alive after you picked it, you'll know how this all turned out.

 

But the kind of things I had, just for a while? They made me laugh. Horrendous singing voices on the both of us, but we used to sing our way through lazy afternoons together. They'd find gardens in bloom for us to walk through, teach my the names of plants and birds, and old video game characters.

 

If I'm being practical, someone to split the chores and the bills with, without them complaining too much. Someone who wants adventure, and has the means to do it. Someone who can call me on it when I'm being an ass and won't mind me doing it back. Someone who knows how to carry the weight of living life, so they can live it with me, rather than living it one step behind me and hoping I won't notice. 

[andreas1033]

Interesting, to see all the different views.

For me personally, My answer to this thread is

None

Meaning, i have no idea or wants on such a thing, as i always will be alone thankfully.

[aeimquy159]

A platonic cuddle buddy to hang out with a couple evenings a month and watch Netflix curled up on the couch.

[doggalogga]

Somebody to share everything I feel want want with, and they can do the same with me

Somebody to share good experiences with, and somebody I want to treat like a queen, who doesn't take advantage of me.

Somebody who likes physical contact, but isn't interested in sex. Plenty of affection.

 

Somebody who likes to walk around gardens and enjoy fresh air and greenery.

 

Somebody who lets me do my own thing sometimes, and somebody who wants to do their own thing sometimes with her girlfriends. Where we are two individuals who can agree to disagree on things that are unimportant, somebody who isn't financially idiotic or wasteful, somebody who isn't superficial and enjoys a sense of minimalism, and a person that is confortable in her own skin without pandering to the expectations of others.

 

For better or for worse