Robin L Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 The term "true love" is thrown around a lot in popular culture. But what exactly is "true" love that makes it different from, say, "regular" love? Do people even assume that love is fake unless it's declared as true? Is true love just another way of denoting that the attraction is very strong? Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Norgard Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 I think 'true' love is a thing because people have difficulty separating love from lust sometimes. So 'true love' is when you genuinely love someone, and it's not just lust. I think XD Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 Seems to be a mostly modern western thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 If love is never having to say you're sorry, true love is never having to say you're truly sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 That doesnt make sense... Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 That doesnt make sense... You don't say. :P Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 That doesnt make sense... Famous line from the movie Love Story: "Love means never having to say you're sorry" So true love means never having to say you're truly sorry. Platonic love means never having to say you're platonically sorry. Motherly love means never having to say you're motherly sorry. Et cetera and so on. Link to post Share on other sites
chair jockey Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 "True love" is a fabrication of the Romantic poets. It's a cultural artifact and the finest example of how texts become reality. What it's based on is men having a compulsion to ejaculate, having the objects of their lust demand to be loved before permitting them to ejaculate, and therefore lying to themselves that they love those objects for the purpose of attaining access to ejaculation. So "true love" arises from early modern men lying to themselves about what they really wanted from other people. In feminist terms "true love" is total patriarchal bullshit. Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 "True love" is a fabrication of the Romantic poets. It's a cultural artifact and the finest example of how texts become reality. What it's based on is men having a compulsion to ejaculate, having the objects of their lust demand to be loved before permitting them to ejaculate, and therefore lying to themselves that they love those objects for the purpose of attaining access to ejaculation. So "true love" arises from early modern men lying to themselves about what they really wanted from other people. In feminist terms "true love" is total patriarchal bullshit. That just shows a very inadequate understanding of people like Goethe. I don't know, read Faust sometime maybe. Also, Goethe didn't really use "true love" as an idiom, but he did talk about what he thought love "truly" to be: Das ist die wahre Liebe, die immer und immer sich gleich bleibt, Wenn man ihr alles gewährt, wenn man ihr alles versagt. Translation (very literal): This is the true love, that always and always remains constant, If you give it everything, if you deny it everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Scottthespy Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 I think 'true love' is mostly a literary mechanic to show that this love is somehow stronger, purer, than every one else's common work-a-day love. In movies and stories, 'normal' love is temporary, filled with stumbling blocks and not always fun. TRUE love is unsullied by doubt and irritation, its total confidence in the love and the people who love. They can take on any challenge not with a grimace of frustration, but a song in their hearts, for their efforts will benefit their destined loved one, and that in itself is enough to make them giddy with joy. I have MET a person who was this head over heals with their partner...but it was one sided. If that person ever encountered some one who loved them back with that same exuberance, they'd be the happiest people in the world, because it would literally be an "if you're happy I'm happy and if I'm happy you're happy" feedback loop. Link to post Share on other sites
poindexter Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 I think 'true love' is mostly a literary mechanic to show that this love is somehow stronger, purer, than every one else's common work-a-day love. In movies and stories, 'normal' love is temporary, filled with stumbling blocks and not always fun. TRUE love is unsullied by doubt and irritation, its total confidence in the love and the people who love. They can take on any challenge not with a grimace of frustration, but a song in their hearts, for their efforts will benefit their destined loved one, and that in itself is enough to make them giddy with joy. I have MET a person who was this head over heals with their partner...but it was one sided. If that person ever encountered some one who loved them back with that same exuberance, they'd be the happiest people in the world, because it would literally be an "if you're happy I'm happy and if I'm happy you're happy" feedback loop.The kind of love you describe - it's like a parent's unconditional love for their child, or vice versa, which does exist, but isn't love in the romantic/sexual sense, and therefore isn't considered "true" by most social standards. I have that kind of relationship with my twin sister. I think romantic partners can feel that, but I imagine it takes a while to get to that stage.But to me, that's just.. Love. Is it any more "true"? I don't know, I've never really felt a different kind. Link to post Share on other sites
Amy Ghost Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 I think it's a movie thing. Just like the perfect love story, where they get together and live happily ever after. It's just some silly movie thing that wants to convince you that they are real and you should want them. Link to post Share on other sites
Squirrel Combat Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 I think "true" love is when the spark is there at the beginning, followed by a connection; and if you screw up then you say your quick "sorry" and then move on with things. Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 I think it's a movie thing. Just like the perfect love story, where they get together and live happily ever after. It's just some silly movie thing that wants to convince you that they are real and you should want them. And that love is destiny and there will be a happily ever after in your future. People want to think their relationships are ordained by God or aligned by the stars rather than a happenstance that works well for them because cultural backgrounds and personalities are similarly compatible. Link to post Share on other sites
Amy Ghost Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 I think it's a movie thing. Just like the perfect love story, where they get together and live happily ever after. It's just some silly movie thing that wants to convince you that they are real and you should want them. And that love is destiny and there will be a happily ever after in your future. People want to think their relationships are ordained by God or aligned by the stars rather than a happenstance that works well for them because cultural backgrounds and personalities are similarly compatible. Indeed. Sometimes people want to believe that it's some higher power or reason. And it's being supported. Link to post Share on other sites
The A+ Student Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 I think "true love" is just long-lasting, unconditional love. Not necessarily romantic, and actually probably not romantic because romance is often short-lived (note I'm not saying partnerships that start off romantic can't continue as steady committed platonic partners after the initial romance wears off). But I do not believe that there is only "one true love" for everyone and it's up to the individual to find out who that "one" is. That's nonsense. And also romance-supremacist. A parent's love for their children could be true love, if it's long-lasting and unconditional (and unfortunately there are some parents out there who don't love their children this way). Friends can truly love each other. Even in the romantic love arena, are we going to say that widows/widowers for example didn't truly love their deceased partner if they fall in love again and marry another (or they don't truly love their current partner)? In short, the concept of only one person who qualifies as the "true love" is completely untrue and needs to go, but true love itself certainly exists according to my definition. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 any time I've heard it, it's been "you're my one true love" so I equate it to the concept of soul mates and interpret "love" in this sense as "someone who is loved" rather than the emotion itself. so a _true love_ is the true person who is for you to love and to be loved by Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 Meh. I would say "true love" is the one you really feel (as opposed to pushing yourself, because you ougth to, others want you to etc), and which makes you want to take care of the person you love and which brings joy if you are with this person, laugh and cry together, and moments feel like eternity. At least that's how it works with me. But the cultural view is a bit skewed and exaggerated IMO. And definitely it doesn't come at first sight, and can be platonic: for a friend, a family member, a child. Definitely not related to "the one" either. People grow and change, so a good ralationship in 20s might be entirely different from what will be a good relationship in 40s. When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child. Now that I am a man, I have no more use for childish ways. That's what I think about "the one" (and personhood in general). Link to post Share on other sites
chair jockey Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 I think it's a movie thing. Just like the perfect love story, where they get together and live happily ever after. It's just some silly movie thing that wants to convince you that they are real and you should want them. And that love is destiny and there will be a happily ever after in your future. People want to think their relationships are ordained by God or aligned by the stars rather than a happenstance that works well for them because cultural backgrounds and personalities are similarly compatible. Indeed. Sometimes people want to believe that it's some higher power or reason. And it's being supported. Here's two people who have their heads on straight! "They lived happily ever after" is the most pernicious and evil lie ever told to any child in the existence of our species. Link to post Share on other sites
- - - Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 it doesnt really exist its just some fantasy they use in movies or whatever... like sorcery... only not as fun to watch... Link to post Share on other sites
Amy Ghost Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 I think it can be also potentially harmful. If the re is only one "true" love, what about kinds of love? No. All love is equal, there is no "right" way to love. The whole concept is wrong I think Link to post Share on other sites
Daniel John Sheaffer Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 That is just in fairytales and movies. I don't get why they call it true love instead of regular love. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 Meh... for me, "true" love simply means love that is firmly rooted in mutual respect and freedom of choice, at every single given moment. I think most people using the term use it in the sense of The One Soulmate... which I consider to be a concept that is at best silly, and at worst pretty damn harmful. That doesnt make sense... Famous line from the movie Love Story: "Love means never having to say you're sorry" Which, almost as famously, doesn't make sense. ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 Im not a movie expert so I didnt recognize the phrase. Anyways this has the same vibe I get from just regular love. I hear people claim that its an awesome feeling and whatnot, making the world seem perfect but I dont see how its possible much less makes sense. Sounds more like some self imposed delusion. Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 True love is love. "Regular love" is just attraction / infatuation. Link to post Share on other sites
arthurh Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 true love is when both partners only have eyes for each other Link to post Share on other sites
Slayerin96 Posted January 19, 2016 Share Posted January 19, 2016 I once wrote a reflective essay on love because I needed a moment to organise my thoughts and musings. Here you go: (I'm an aromantic) It is astonishing how such a simple question has caused both ordinary people and philosophers or scientists to puzzle their heads so much throughout history in an attempt to find a right answer. There might not have been a single person on earth who has not asked themselves this question at least once in their life. No one would doubt that love is what every single human soul needs, yet for what it is worth, the meaning of this notion is gravely misunderstood by 95% of this world’s population in quite a few regards. Time and again we hear people around us say they found someone they love, without actually having the faintest idea what this concept truly means. Claiming to care about someone you barely know at all, someone who has not done anything plausible to prove themselves worthy for you to let them in your heart, or having feelings for someone without being capable of giving sound arguments for it is nothing but the word materialisation of a serious delusion. Furthermore, how can one claim they cherish someone, only to say, after a while, out of the blue that they no longer care about them at all? Truly loving someone means bearing those feelings for them as a result of a strong bond which has formed over time, after getting to know them well, and certainly not in an instant and “just because they exist”. Moreover, it is not normal for one to be addicted to a particular person as if they were some sort of drug, nor is it sane for them to imagine that they own that person and thus suffocate them and become jealous of anyone else who spends time around him or her. All these mean simply being driven by chemicals – a witless matter when all is said and done-, whilst loving someone involves genuinely understanding that they are a free individual just like all others - and therefore no one has any claim on them -, giving them all the privacy that they need, and not doing anything that could make them feel uncomfortable. Most people are inclined to believe that real love can only be proven by carnal knowledge and regard the latter without the former as disgraceful, therefore tending to view the two as inseparable and codependent – in other words, overlap them. A more thorough analysis of this aspect, however, could prove the contrary. Love is a feeling, which means it is something that exists within one’s soul. Physical intimacy, on the other hand, as its name would suggest, is not a way of expressing feelings, but something needed by the human body – it is about making each other feel good and, of course, it is of crucial importance that the parties involved respect each other whether there is any emotional bond between them or not. As such, the two entities have, in essence, nothing to do with one another, even though they sometimes happen to coexist. I am utterly confused at how people have such difficulty comprehending what this feeling called love is all about, when I personally think that the bettermost answer to this question, albeit long and detailed, should be easy and obvious to everyone who has got an open mind and an ounce of patience to reflect upon what I am about to describe below: Love a strong bond developing when individuals start getting to know each other and learn to accept and understand each other all the way through, which can only happen within a consistent amount of time. It is when the individuals respect each other’s freedom, privacy and do the utmost to avoid hurting each other. There are five essential components that true love is based upon: mutual respect, loyalty, trustworthiness, gratitude and affection. It is a bond which, once formed, it lasts forever – as long as everyone obeys the aforementioned “rules”, of course. As far as I am concerned, I refuse to believe that love equates in the slightest to those foolish delusional emotions that come and go on some chemical whim. Last but not least, I do not agree with the fact that one should bear love in their soul for one single person. On the contrary, I am of the opinion that one can love as many persons as they please, choosing one of them to be their life partner based on various additional side factors. Link to post Share on other sites
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