LexiKitty Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 So I'm 14 and naturally most 14 year olds are interested in someone whether it's same gender or opposite gender. All my life I haven't had any crushes and I don't go crazy over someone who is goodlooking like most of my friends do. At first I thought I was gay or bisexual, but after about a year of really trying to find sexual attraction to someone or trying to have a crush on someone it just wasn't working. All my friends are watching porn and masturbating and talking about how they're lonely, I just don't understand those feelings or urges because they're never there. I started feeling like an outsider (I still do) and I've been having emotional breakdowns wondering what was wrong with me. Eventually I looked it up and discovered asexuality and aromanticism, they described me perfectly. And I feel better with that closure, but I still know I'm going to get criticized like I'm some emotionless monster, or people will tell me "you just haven't met the right person yet", but I know that's not the case. And I'm afraid to come out to my friends and family. I'm just feeling sort of alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Ph03n1xF1r3 Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Hey LexiKitty! I'm sorry you feel alone. :( I know it's not the same as IRL, but you have people here that will support you. Just remember (and I know at 14 this is easier said than done), be yourself and rock who YOU are. If you have any friends that give you grief, then they aren't real friends to begin with. The same thing can't be said about family, but the great thing about family is that in a few years you get to choose if you see them or not. Asexuality is out there now (kind of), so the people in your life might have heard of it and be ok with it. You never know. Being young is hard, I'm not going to lie. Adding "being different" to the mix doesn't help. All I can say is keep your chin up. It does get better. :) And as far as coming out goes - only come out if you are ready to. I'm almost 30 and I'm still not out to everyone. It takes time, and when the time is right, you will know. I wish you the best of luck! :) Link to post Share on other sites
kraceten Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, regardless of perceived pressure. This includes feeling like you should come out, even if you don't thoroughly want to. Hold on. Be true to yourself, but know you don't owe anyone information you don't want to trust them with! People say that when we're young, we have no idea who we'll be when we grow up later. Guess what. The same is true for people who might naysay now. Who knows, five or ten years down the road, when aces have even more visibility, people you see at school right now might discover they're aces too. Whatever you feel and however long you feel it, it's valid. Hang in there! Link to post Share on other sites
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