Asexual and feeling horny sometimes...

[EccentricAce#]

Hi there,

Just three weeks ago I joined this forum and came to a conclusion that I am asexual. But I was feeling horny last week and it was terrible. I didn't have the desire to go fuck someone. I was just feeling horny. And one of my male friends last week showed me a photo of a penis. I responded to him immedietly, telling him that I don't like dicks. And I told him I find boobs more attractive. As usual like many of my friends he asked me if I'm a lesbian. I told him that I'm not. He was surprised. In fact I was also confused. When most of my female friends talk about men's private parts, I don't feel comfortable. Some of them tell me if I don't like penis, then I should be a lesbian. Never in my life I thought about having sex with another woman. But nude pics of women attract me often. I get horny when I watch a woman getting laid or when I see nude pics of women on websites. Whenever I imagine kissing someone, it would always be a man. However, I shudder at the thought of having sex with someone.

I often wonder if all women like penis and indulge themselves in oral sex. Or is it only me who is different? I'm also curious to know if all sexual females are attracted to penis.

[Autumn Season]

I'm also curious to know if all sexual females are attracted to penis.

Nope. Many heterosexual women find the looks of a penis unpleasant. And many get aroused by looking at a woman's body. But they still want to engage in sexual activities with a man and this is why they are heterosexual. And homosexual women want to sleep with other women. If you don't want to sleep with anyone, then you are asexual.

I don't know what you mean when you say you're "horny". Asexual people can have a libido, they can get aroused and masturbate. You are asexual as long as you don't want to have partnered sex. This is all that matters.

And I don't know why your friend thought it was appropriate to send you a dick picture. This kind of thing can count as sexual harassment, if you did not consent to seeing that picture.

[EccentricAce#]

@Autumn Season: Thanks for sharing. My friend and I have spoken about sex often. Maybe that's why he felt appropriate to send me that pic. But I never knew sending nude pics could be an act of sexual harassment.

Thanks again!!!

[Distant Admiration]

Hi there,

Just three weeks ago I joined this forum and came to a conclusion that I am asexual. But I was feeling horny last week and it was terrible. I didn't have the desire to go fuck someone. I was just feeling horny. And one of my male friends last week showed me a photo of a penis. I responded to him immedietly, telling him that I don't like dicks. And I told him I find boobs more attractive. As usual like many of my friends he asked me if I'm a lesbian. I told him that I'm not. He was surprised. In fact I was also confused. When most of my female friends talk about men's private parts, I don't feel comfortable. Some of them tell me if I don't like penis, then I should be a lesbian. Never in my life I thought about having sex with another woman. But nude pics of women attract me often. I get horny when I watch a woman getting laid or when I see nude pics of women on websites. Whenever I imagine kissing someone, it would always be a man. However, I shudder at the thought of having sex with someone.

I often wonder if all women like penis and indulge themselves in oral sex. Or is it only me who is different? I'm also curious to know if all sexual females are attracted to penis.

I don't find that too strange at all. The aesthetics of genitals are poor for just about anyone. Most people, even sexual people won't find a penis (or vagina for that matter) a pretty sight. Breasts on the other hand (much like butts for other people) are aesthetically pleasing for a lot of people, and in many cultures signs of virility and beauty. Some cultures values breasts (Many north-Atlantic cultures) whereas others value butts (e.g Brazil). Whenever my female friends see pictures of penises they just laugh, it's honestly not an object to look at for anyone. I'm guessing that when your female friends talk about the topic, the description is more of a functional nature (i.e how it feels, how it was used etc etc)

Seeing nude pictures of the same gender is not really indicative of lesbianism. Some people simply project themselves into the figure they see and gain attraction from that. For example men who focus on other men in pornography with an innate wish to be in his position, rather than with a wish to have sexual intercourse with him. Furthermore, I strongly doubt that there are many women who get a sense of pleasure in preforming oral sex beyond a sense of mastery and/or pleasing their partner.

Finally, with regards to being attracted to a penis: that I'd say is far more common. Being attracted to something does not mean that you like the looks of what you're attracted to after all, so seeing a picture would not do it justice.

What do you personally identify as though, EccentricAce# ?

[Sapphire Rose]

I agree with the above. Being asexual means lacking the desire for partnered sex. To me, you sound asexual.

I am asexual but relate to your feelings. I masturbate and get horny seeing naked women sometimes. But I would never have sex with anyone because I find that gross. What is important is that you are comfortable whatever you identify as!

I would also like to note that what your friend did was highly inappropriate. He should have asked for permission first. That's fucking gross and uncalled for and is sexual harassment. Gross. If I were you I would make him well aware that what he did was not okay.

[EccentricAce#]

@Distant Admiration: Thanks for your comments. All this while I was wondering if I'm different from other women just because I don't like penises. That was well explained. I personally identify myself as asexual becuase I'm not comfortable with the idea of sex though I like it when someone cuddles me.

[allrightalready]

Hi there,

I often wonder if all women like penis and indulge themselves in oral sex. Or is it only me who is different? I'm also curious to know if all sexual females are attracted to penis.

no, most straight womyn even think they are weird and virtually all lesbians don't like them (at least real ones)

I'm also curious to know if all sexual females are attracted to penis.

And I don't know why your friend thought it was appropriate to send you a dick picture. This kind of thing can count as sexual harassment, if you did not consent to seeing that picture.

exactly

@Autumn Season: Thanks for sharing. My friend and I have spoken about sex often. Maybe that's why he felt appropriate to send me that pic. But I never knew sending nude pics could be an act of sexual harassment.

Thanks again!!!

unasked for and unwanted sexual advances are exactly what sexual harassment is whether physical, verbal, mailed or electronic

[EccentricAce#]

@mustachedwaffle: Thanks for sharing. Again, I never knew sharing nude pics is inappropriate. However, I told him to restrain from sending me such pics.

[SkyWorld]

Oh goodness. I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but cringe at the mention of nude pics. Someone had done that to me a couple years ago without warning. I was so disgusted that I quickly got rid of the picture and blocked the person. I know the person from school, but I've never actually spoken a word to them. I was so upset and I'm still scarred. They're lucky I didn't send it to the police for sending nudes to a minor AND without consent at that. *cringes*

Anyways... what the above have said are correct. Some asexuals feel the same way (so you're not alone), yet still doesn't have desire for that partnered sex.

[dissolved]

Some of them tell me if I don't like penis, then I should be a lesbian.

The "logic" behind this made me laugh :D

Basically... genitalia ain't pretty. I'm not sure anyone would say, "mmm look, an incredibly aesthetically attractive penis!" just... no. So regardless of your sexuality, you certainly aren't alone in this.

[EccentricAce#]

@SkyWorld: That made me think of someone that I loved who used to force me to send my nude pics to him or he wouldn't talk to me. I eventually gave in to his demand like a stupid. Regret doing it and at times get furious too thinking of that...

[EccentricAce#]

@dissolved: Lol. I have seen women go gaga on penises (shape, size and colour) and men asking women "what colour is your pussy?".

[SkyWorld]

I forgot to mention that back then when I was questioning my sexuality before I even knew about asexuality, I was talking to one of my friends who happen to be bisexual. I said, "I can't really picture myself having sex with anyone." And she said, "Do you like vagina?" And I said, no. And she responded with, "Then you must like penis. You're straight." And I'm like, And I'm just thinking that they're both pretty ugly.

To be honest, she kind of caught me off guard with those questions. Like, I always thought that being heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual, was more than just about who you have sex with. I thought it was deeper than that. I still think that. It just throws me off when people talk as if that's all that it's about. Maybe it's the ace side of me thinking this, but sex was the last thing on my mind when I think about heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual... I think of someone who simply loves a person and have that deep kind of bond and romantic relationship with them and be a couple (unless their romantic orientation doesn't correspond with their sexual orientation and they happen to be aromantic).

[dissolved]

@dissolved: Lol. I have seen women go gaga on penises (shape, size and colour) and men asking women "what colour is your pussy?".

Crikey... I must live in a completely different world :P

[EccentricAce#]

@SkyWorld: Hahaha. That was funny. I was 23 when a 30-year-old woman asked me if I'm straight or a lesbian. I still remember feeling baffled when she asked me that struggling to find an answer. And that night I kept thinking about it trying to figure out if I'm staright or a lesbo. Back then sex didn't really mattered to me much. :D

[Guest]

@dissolved: Lol. I have seen women go gaga on penises (shape, size and colour) and men asking women "what colour is your pussy?".

Umm the only thing i would go gaga on is a new purse or a pair of shoes! Not the size of a mens "Bratwurst" or the color of a womans pussy!

Yuck.

[Autumn Season]

@dissolved: Lol. I have seen women go gaga on penises (shape, size and colour) and men asking women "what colour is your pussy?".

Crikey... I must live in a completely different world :P

Yay dissolved! We live in the same world then. xD Honestly though, I met friends from many different countries and none of them ever talked to me about genitals... except jokingly, but even this was comparably innocent. Well, I don't have any close Indian friends. So maybe it really is a cultural difference.

[Sapphire Rose]

@mustachedwaffle: Thanks for sharing. Again, I never knew sharing nude pics is inappropriate. However, I told him to restrain from sending me such pics.

Anything remotely sexual that makes you uncomfortable coming from another person is inappropriate. You have rights, reasons, and you own feelings. Please remember to protect yourself and stick up for yourself.

[Guest]

@dissolved: Lol. I have seen women go gaga on penises (shape, size and colour) and men asking women "what colour is your pussy?".

Crikey... I must live in a completely different world :P

Yay dissolved! We live in the same world then. xD Honestly though, I met friends from many different countries and none of them ever talked to me about genitals... except jokingly, but even this was comparably innocent. Well, I don't have any close Indian friends. So maybe it really is a cultural difference.

And an age thing, I think. If I recall, I remember most of the genitalia chatter to occur in middle school and early high school, so like 12-16 years old. But I was one of those kids in high school who was far too good for things like sex and romance, so maybe it continued on longer than I realize since I just sort of exempted myself from it.

[Beuxx22]

Seeing nude pictures of the same gender is not really indicative of lesbianism. Some people simply project themselves into the figure they see and gain attraction from that.

Thank you thank you thank you! Everything I was feeling and shutting down totally makes sense now.

[El-not-so-ace]

Ish, yeah, I've often heard sexuals talk about the function of said body part and not as much the aesthetic side to it. Kind of like someone might like being picked up in the arms of someone else but might not like how body builder muscles look like. Sexual and aesthetic attraction is definitely different so you don't have to like looking at those body parts even if you were sexual.

[penaynay]

I find the human body gross in general, as in more scientific thoughts. But aesthetically I prefer male bodies more than females, but in general I just wish that the human bodies are more like dolls or when you play a video game the underwear is basically attached to the body. Being in drawing class in uni really made me realize this. Drawing different genders and body types made me realize how asexual I am lol. :D

[EccentricAce#]

@penaynay: I find women's bodies more attractive and beautiful than men's. I have never told anyone "Look!!! That guy is so hot!!!" Rather I would be like "Oh my God!!! She is hot; she is sexy; she is beautiful!" That appeared strange to me because I would often often wonder "I am a woman. Shouldn't I be attracted towards men?" :P :D :)

[WoodwindWhistler]

I don't find that too strange at all. The aesthetics of genitals are poor for just about anyone.

Furthermore, I strongly doubt that there are many women who get a sense of pleasure in preforming oral sex beyond a sense of mastery and/or pleasing their partner.

I really think the only reason we find genitals funny looking is that we keep them tucked away and we're not used to seeing them. Bet larger numbers of people who live in nudist colonies* wouldn't have this attitude. Same goes for feet, especially in climates where bare feet don't come out much. Some people are just really grossed out by feet, but if they grew up where they saw them every day they'd probably just seem normal.

(*Or at least for penises, women have to go some to "display." I also think the more sexually experienced you are the more inoculated you are. Much like phobias, with continually planned exposure, can go away.)

Plenty of women (and gay men) enjoy giving blow jobs. There's an entire thread about it somewhere around here.

[Guest]

Hi there,

Just three weeks ago I joined this forum and came to a conclusion that I am asexual. But I was feeling horny last week and it was terrible. I didn't have the desire to go fuck someone. I was just feeling horny. And one of my male friends last week showed me a photo of a penis. I responded to him immedietly, telling him that I don't like dicks. And I told him I find boobs more attractive. As usual like many of my friends he asked me if I'm a lesbian. I told him that I'm not. He was surprised. In fact I was also confused. When most of my female friends talk about men's private parts, I don't feel comfortable. Some of them tell me if I don't like penis, then I should be a lesbian. Never in my life I thought about having sex with another woman. But nude pics of women attract me often. I get horny when I watch a woman getting laid or when I see nude pics of women on websites. Whenever I imagine kissing someone, it would always be a man. However, I shudder at the thought of having sex with someone.

I often wonder if all women like penis and indulge themselves in oral sex. Or is it only me who is different? I'm also curious to know if all sexual females are attracted to penis.

I think people fantasizing or being aroused by people of the same gender isn't anything weird or unusual or uncommon. The way I see it is you aren't hurting anyone so I wouldn't worry about it. The only thing that seems troubling to you is that it causes you to be horny and unfortunately I have no idea how to stop the horny train once its pulled into the station hahahah, that sounded weird hahaha ;) :P.

It sounds like you probably need to establish some boundaries with your friends. I mean showing you dick pics, when you don't want to see them. Telling you how to identify. Not cool at all! Please don't send nudes to people when you don't want to! In fact please look into setting boundaries and sticking to them with your friends!

Welcome aboard!