UncommonNonsense Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Hey all... I'm female-bodied but I identify agender with a slight skew towards masculine. I refer to myself as FtN (female to neutral). But most of the time, when I'm dreaming, I'm a male. A guy. In fact, the only dreams I have where I'm female are nightmares based on past sexual assaults, which happen a few times a month, or dreams where I'm thrown back to childhood, which are usually ok. Almost every other dream, though, I'm male. A man. The funny thing is, is that while I feel right being FtN, I don't feel like I'm actually male.. I'd love to get my chest de-gendered, but I don't want to take testosterone or have bottom surgery to create a penis. I'm ok with my female genitals because they're unobtrusive, and I'm content with my hormones as they are (lower end of average) and with having had a hysterectomy to end 'female problems', end my fertility, and end periods, which I always found repulsive as hell. I just want a gender-neutral-looking-while-clothed body, since it is highly unlikely that anyone but my doctor is ever going to see me sans clothes. So, I don't feel male when awake. I certainly don't feel female, awake or asleep. Is my subconscious trying to tell me something here? Or is it that I've been raised with the usual binary-only view of human gender expression (male or female, nothing between, nothing beyond) and this is coming out in my dreams as me being male since I really don't connect at all with being female? Have any of you had this happen? How did you interpret this? Did it change how you viewed yourself? Did it bother you? Link to post Share on other sites
LadyErzsebet Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Huh, humans are super weird, aren't they? Also, my usual point about gender being confusing still stands :D I don't have any experience with dreams (I never remember mine!) but although I don't ID as a guy (I'm AFAB), there are a lot of times where I really enjoy being read as a guy and having people assume that I'm male and use he/him, sir, etc despite the fact that those aren't pronouns I use. The way I see it, its a balancing act. I'm AFAB (and I assume this stuff applies to you but I don't want to make assumptions so I'm going to use singular) so I get read as a girl and people say "she/her, ma'am, miss, etc" all the time. I'm not a girl and I like being read as a boy to "even the scales" (for lack of a better term). It balances out the misgendering in one direction I guess. IDK. Gender is weird. Who even knows? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I have dreams where I'm a guy too, i don't think it means much; just that the male dreams are coincidentally more frequent than the female ones (and i rarely dream as myself). Link to post Share on other sites
Silk Bones Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Similar to you guys, I've experienced dreams when I was the opposite gender and having certain emotional dreams depending on my gender that I was in that specific dream. I too also feel that I want to be adressed as male and just recently I figured my gender identity is Androgyne ^_^ Despite my gender identity though, my dreams still have their moments when it would be good or bad depending on which gender I was. So I interpreted these situations as either from experience to how people reacted to me in the real world or just my mind teasing me, although that sounds a bit nutty now that i think upon it. Before I knew about genderfluid and transgender, I would always feel so restricted and totured by the fact that I needed to go by the gender roles. My mom would always tell me that I need to be a proper young lady and do this and that but I hated it. So I feel as if the reason why I have bad dreams when my gender in the dreams is female, is because of the reality experiences I've had with them. Whereas with the male counter part, I'd have my friends address me with masculine pronouns and I'd feel so overjoyed and more fitting, despite how they perceived me as and thats where the good dreams come in when I am male in them. Of course it did make me question my gender for many years and it eventually brought me to being here on AVEN and discovering my true self thanks to the people on here for helping me out. c= So all was well on my point of view, maybe the dreams you have could mean something for you too? Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Maybe there's something about our psychology that makes us perceive people who have no female properties to be male. So agender would be closer to male. Don't know if that makes sense. I'm usually "no gender" in my dreams, but I interpret it as being male (but maybe that's because I sense my real male body while I dream), and the rare dreams that I feel female, I also dream having a very female body. Hm. Link to post Share on other sites
UncommonNonsense Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 Maybe there's something about our psychology that makes us perceive people who have no female properties to be male. So agender would be closer to male. Don't know if that makes sense. I'm usually "no gender" in my dreams, but I interpret it as being male (but maybe that's because I sense my real male body while I dream), and the rare dreams that I feel female, I also dream having a very female body. Hm. Actually, that makes a lot of sense. I wonder how much of this is my mind trying to overtly reject my being seen as female in my waking hours by being reactively male in my dreams. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 This is interesting. While I dont think Ive ever had a dream in which Im gender switched but I do have dreams (had one last night where it changed from a male based scenario to a female one) in which things associated with being female arise. Link to post Share on other sites
Nidwin Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Dreams. Lot of "specialists" say you dream about what you experienced but I disagree with this statement. For me you dream about who you are and not only about what you experienced. What you experienced will define, in some way, who you are and in this case for you folks it makes sense to have this kind of dreams or gender switch while dreaming. Link to post Share on other sites
Kappamaki Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I get all sorts of genders when dreaming, and I'm inconsistently transgender and cisgender, and sometimes I'm specific characters like Harry Potter. Maybe there's something about our psychology that makes us perceive people who have no female properties to be male. So agender would be closer to male. Don't know if that makes sense. I'm usually "no gender" in my dreams, but I interpret it as being male (but maybe that's because I sense my real male body while I dream), and the rare dreams that I feel female, I also dream having a very female body. Hm. It makes total sense to me that gender-neutrality would be interpreted as masculine by our psychologies because it's presented as such in western culture. Masculinity is the default, and the most common gender-neutral aesthetics skew masculine ("dapper," etc.). Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 It's amusing. I have dreamed of myself in a truckload of flavours: my assigned sex, the opposite sex, a sex-shifting individual (like Ranma), a non-gender-specific individual (which is how I dream myself nearly all the time as of late), an animal that can be either female or male, a spirit, an otherwise non-material creature... honestly, dreaming of myself as a member of the opposite sex is one of the LEAST weird of the above :P Link to post Share on other sites
Dodecahedron314 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I dunno...dreams are weird, gender is weird, the subconscious is weird, existence is weird. I wish I could say more, but honestly at this point I can't even pretend to understand most aspects of human psychology because they're all so nebulous and squishy. I can't actually recall ever having a gender in my dreams, I don't think. I also don't pay much attention to having a physical form in general when I dream, unless I do something like fall into a pond, and then even dream-me is more worried about the phone and wallet that apparently never leave my pockets even when I'm dreaming. It's amusing. I have dreamed of myself in a truckload of flavours: my assigned sex, the opposite sex, a sex-shifting individual (like Ranma), a non-gender-specific individual (which is how I dream myself nearly all the time as of late), an animal that can be either female or male, a spirit, an otherwise non-material creature... honestly, dreaming of myself as a member of the opposite sex is one of the LEAST weird of the above :P *gasps* This is totally irrelevant to the thread, but you're the first person I've ever met who's not related to me who's heard of Ranma! *high fives* Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I dunno...dreams are weird, gender is weird, the subconscious is weird, existence is weird. I wish I could say more, but honestly at this point I can't even pretend to understand most aspects of human psychology because they're all so nebulous and squishy. I can't actually recall ever having a gender in my dreams, I don't think. I also don't pay much attention to having a physical form in general when I dream, unless I do something like fall into a pond, and then even dream-me is more worried about the phone and wallet that apparently never leave my pockets even when I'm dreaming. It's amusing. I have dreamed of myself in a truckload of flavours: my assigned sex, the opposite sex, a sex-shifting individual (like Ranma), a non-gender-specific individual (which is how I dream myself nearly all the time as of late), an animal that can be either female or male, a spirit, an otherwise non-material creature... honestly, dreaming of myself as a member of the opposite sex is one of the LEAST weird of the above :P *gasps* This is totally irrelevant to the thread, but you're the first person I've ever met who's not related to me who's heard of Ranma! *high fives* ...sigh.... if only it were so easy as getting splashed by warm or cool water... Link to post Share on other sites
Astri Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Maybe there's something about our psychology that makes us perceive people who have no female properties to be male. So agender would be closer to male. Don't know if that makes sense. I'm usually "no gender" in my dreams, but I interpret it as being male (but maybe that's because I sense my real male body while I dream), and the rare dreams that I feel female, I also dream having a very female body. Hm. Actually, that makes a lot of sense. I wonder how much of this is my mind trying to overtly reject my being seen as female in my waking hours by being reactively male in my dreams. I frequently dream I'm a guy, but when awake I feel neutral/demigirl more often than male (am DFAB). So the theory that male = more neutral in the subconscious mind (or at least in my mind) than female is really interesting... Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I've been always switching genders when I dream. It might be because Im not that attatched to my gender, among other reasons. However, it us dangerous to take dreams literally, because everything in them is not what it seems. Just for you not to know explicitly what is going on. So being a man or a woman may epitomise that you take on certain character traits or strereotypical behaviours associated with that gender in the plot of the dream. That it is something you reeealy want to do or are scared of doing. Or you may perceive yorself to have those traits. Etc. Etc. Etc. Depends on meaning, which is entirely yours and only you are able to decipher it, because it is your associations that are the key to this riddle. Idioms. Archetypical figures. Similar shapes or functions, even in a very remote or abstract sense. So when I feel I am a man in a dream, it never means I really feel I am a man. It means I am "being a man"(idiom regarding being tough and strong). When I dream of being a woman in an explicit manner, I am "being a woman"(twofold idiom: being emotional and weak, or feeling sexual). Or it means Im taking on a role of a character from e g a book or a film, of a person that symbolises something else. How you feel about your gender may reveal itself in other dreams in a concealed and symbolic manner. But (almost) never directly. Link to post Share on other sites
affi Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I've never felt gender dysphoria about my body at all, only with the traditionally feminine role that I'm supposed to fit (must like makeup, shopping, gossiping, etc.). But every couple weeks or so, I have a dream where I'm definitely a male in a male body doing stereotypically male things, sometimes including having sex, usually with a female-bodied person. I wouldn't object to having a male body, but I've never felt uncomfortable with my female body. I don't think I've ever imagined myself as a male. It's not a subconscious desire or anything. So it's a little weird. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one though!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ledona Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 Really intriguing topic! I'm incredibly sorry about the nightmares you've been having and the cause behind them. If you're in therapy or considering it, that would probably be something CBT could help? I have a lot of dreams where I'm male, and my maleness...uh...usually ends up quite "relevant" to the content of the dream if you catch my drift. xD Haha. I'm happy with a female body and presentation, but I'm very curious and catch myself cross-dreaming a lot [definition according to CrossDreamerLife: "crossdreamers are those who experience crossgender fantasies (sexual, social, identity or otherwise)] with a kind of "male alter ego." Like, "What would I have done if I were him instead of me?" I guess most people experience a bit of this, but some of us seem to experience/indulge it way more often, without necessarily being gender dysphoric. Can't see the harm in it! Cross-dreaming, dressing in drag, etc. Although it's hard to say whether literal cross-dreaming is a random subconscious snag, or actual desire. Link to post Share on other sites
Desmister Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I've had dreams where I was a man before. Being a male didn't really disturb me because it wasn't like there was any difference. I still didn't feel like anything but I just happened to look different. It's funny though because every time I have a dream where I'm a man it's always about me having sex with another man I actually enjoy those dreams. Now that's the part that disturbs me Link to post Share on other sites
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