LostHawk Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 So yesterday I posted about my sister and how she was adamant she thought I was a trans male (I'm genderfluid) and I talked about it todsy with her asking her not to tell mum and dad cause I want to do that... well... she said she's going to keep singing if I were a boy around me which I can deal with... but I asked her if she could use they them their pronouns for me instead of female ones... and she flat out refused to she then said I don't wanna be called another name do I said well I go by Charlie. .. and again she said you can be called thay someone else I know who's a twat is called that and your a Charlotte I've said it since you were born your my sister.... so now I'm regretting coming out as she is refusing to even change my pronouns I told her she doesn't have to call me charlie I'm fine with it but the pronouns and her refusal on ground I'm her sister she's always called me female pronouns she can't change that now it's just got to me and I dunno I just feel really crap now like I should have just tried ignoring this feeling for more years than I already have..... I wrote my parents a letter it took me 3 and half hours to write and I didn't sleep really last night I was so nervous about it and I made the cake but they didn't read the letter as before they came in back from work Ive hidden it again. The cakes gone down a hit though so that's a good thing I guess??? Link to post Share on other sites
RaisedByHippies98 Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 From my experience with a sister, my little sister wants me to be girlish because she wants a sister, not a brother (i act and dress very masculine). sometimes i would like they/them pronouns because i'm on the agender spectrum, but it's just because my sister sees me as her sister, and a sister is female that i don't go by it. if your sister really loves you, you should explain to her how you feel and ask her to respect your wishes. and you're still the same person, she's not losing someone, you're just changing how you present yourself. Hope this helps and best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Kappamaki Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear things aren't going smoothly. This does sound like something that needs to happen, though, so there really isn't any option but to keep working at this until she understands and accepts you. My sister was confused when I first came out as trans to her, too, because she'd just always thought of me very strongly as a brother. That was actually part of her identity - having a brother - that it seemed like she had to forgo now. She made it work for herself by redefining things mentally so she grew up with a brother, explaining her tomboyishness, and now has an agender sibling. Link to post Share on other sites
LostHawk Posted September 8, 2015 Author Share Posted September 8, 2015 Yeah I told her she doesn't have to call me by my other name and she keeps saying other ideas to me that are stupid aka gandalf frodo princess banana hammock... I asked her to just try get the pronouns right and not purposefully use the wrong ones and if she messes up to just realise and not to it again but she does the same mistake not even 5 seconds later... I'm scared to come out your parents now so I'll just stay in the closet for now 😂 and keep the cake I made to my self since its a good cake 😂😂 she has always been saying she wanted a brother... well some days well moat days tbh I am her brother so can't she just accept that.... Link to post Share on other sites
Dodecahedron314 Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 I can't speak from personal experience because I'm not out gender-wise to my family, but my best friend/QPP has had a lot of the same issues with his family because he's trans male, but his mom keeps on saying she wanted a daughter. I'd venture to say that this might be something of a common thing when coming out to family--after all, they've known you the longest, and so their perception of you is probably the most concrete, whether it's wrong or right. Unfortunately, that often means that they're the most stubborn when it comes to accepting you as you really are and not just as they see you. Whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes well and I hope your family learns to accept you for who you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Certified Cake Decorator Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Hey, i feel ya. Every single person in my family makes fun of my name and pronouns. My grandma spends every day trying to convince me that i'm still a girl. I just say "i cant be still a girl, because i never was one" She sometimes uses my name and then laughs about it. It sucks. Im sorry :( Link to post Share on other sites
LostHawk Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Yeah it sucks :( I just tried talking to her about it again and said I can't ask people who have k own me 18 years to use diffrent pronouns or a diffrent name... she said I'll call you gandalf that's all... said I'll always be her sister and Charlotte to her and she won't call me differently. ... it sucks seriously and I've had really bad dysphoria yesterday today aso well it seems so being referred to as she constantly by her hurts more than normal.... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.