NoLongerWanted Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Just something I would like some insight to. From your experience, would you say that due to being asexual you are more likely to show interest in members of the same sex than a straight sexual would? I would identify myself as heteroromantic, but I occasionally find myself experiencing attraction to other males. Nothing sexual as I'm not interested in that even with women, but I have occasionally seen guys that I would be interested in the same stuff I would like to do with females such as spending a lot of time together, talking, cuddling, and maybe kissing depending on the person. I have noticed I am attracted to way more girls than guys however. I was just wondering if this i just something everyone experiences for the most part, but is too afraid to admit unless they have a rather open mind. (I don't intend to have sex, so I honestly don't see the point to distinguish between the two genders/sexes) I look forward to all of your input and hope you have many great cake-filled days! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chardog Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Not sure about "same sex" attraction, but it seems that many of us fall into the transgender ID umbrella, especially various non-binary expressions. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Couldn't say. All I know is that, personally, I tend to experience outright repulsion towards my own sex, to the point where I tend to hate being associated with it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Perseus Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 You might be just experiencing a platonic attraction toward these men. That is when one desires a platonic relationship with someone. A platonic relationship is non sexual, but a love of a deep friendship. Check this out:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platonic_love Let me know if this helped. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AceInhibitor Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I definitely am. I know I'm definitely attracted to guys, and I definitely like girls as far as aesthetics goes, and I tend to make my closest friendships with girls but I haven't had the same kind of crush on a girl that I've had on a guy, so I'm still questioning that. I think it might be platonic but I don't even know. It's confusing. But seeing as romantic orientation and sexuality are based on gender, not sex, it occurs to me that it would be very easy for me to be attracted to someone non-binary, particularly if they looked male. So then the idea of being heterosexual or heteroromantic becomes strange to me. But yeah, out of all my close friends, excluding the ones who are LGBTQIA+ I'm probably the most open to that. And my other ace friend seems a lot more at ease talking about other sexualities than my non-ace friends. Not that they're homophobes or whatever I just think they don't really care about it as a conversation topic, the same way I don't like football. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jimerman Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 i defiantly do. i am the kind of person who gets along a lot better with guys than galls. i have no sexual attraction to either so it is who satisfies my emotional needs best. i tend to see women as more work than guys, women need constant attention (note not trying to be sexist, but this comes from a lot of time with both) where as guys are good just sitting around BSing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Not from my experience, but maybe that's just me, who knows. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Nah, I'm way more inclined to be interested into being with women, but this is coming from a loner guy who has no interest in the first place. I just like how women looks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 As far as aesthetic and platonic attraction goes...I have to say I am drawn to anyone. :P But before knowing about asexuality and understanding the difference of attractions, I identified as bisexual and then pan-. I was attracted to girls more often than guys at one point, and then it was kinda even...and now, gender doesn't matter. But I do know what you're talking about! It's something I kind of wondered as well. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
5_♦♣ Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Romantically: I'm all about the men. Aesthetically: I would say I'm 70% percent attracted to men, 30% to women. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Angeliss Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I definitely prefer ladies, but that's just me. I wouldn't turn down a friendship with an ace man, that's for certain. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NoLongerWanted Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 I also don't seem to like the majority of males. I was raised by my mother and sister so I can only imagine why I land in the transgender ID umbrella. I'm proud and happy to be there as well :) As far as a platonic relationship, I suppose I could see that. I would have to experience it to know if I was okay with it I guess, but I am not opposed to the thought of it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CNGB Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Well a straight sexual most certainly would not be romantically or sexually interested in the same sex/gender. XD I'm an amoeba, and I'm heteromantic. I wouldn't mind cuddling or kissing (but my kisses are on the cheek and things) another girl, but it's all in the name of friendship, nothing more. I know straight girls--many, many straight girls--are exactly the same. I don't think that there's really an increase likelihood . . . but I have noticed that there are very many people who identify as bi-, homo-, pan-, and etc. -romantic. I'm not sure about the statistics for that, but it's interesting. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
animanova Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I don't think sexual attraction relates to romantic attraction, but maybe there's a coincidence? I'm only biromantic, so I wouldn't necessarily know. Doubtful, though, that sexuality and romantic orientation are directly affected by each other. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alchemistress Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Before I knew what asexuality even was I just assumed I was homosexual for a few years since it was very clear to me I was not sexually attracted to men. But eventually I realized I wasn't sexually attracted to women either. Maybe it's because of that I'm so open romantically to all genders? Then again thats probably just me haha.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Musichead2468 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I am aesthetically attracted to men a lot more than women. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Schrecken Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I can't speak for anyone else but I have only ever been romantically (and very rarely, sexually) attracted to men. I have had squishes on females in the past, but never with any sexual or romantic feelings. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RoninA Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 It isn't a poll or anything, but for what it's worth, I've never felt any type of attraction to other men. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fire & Rain Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 I'm more (platonically) interested in the opposite sex because I get along with them more. I'm at best a demi and I have no freaking idea which gender I'm attracted to romantically and my current partner is opposite sex. I don't think one person is sufficient enough for me to label as hetero-demi. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FraGoLaris Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 I am probably a weird one among the weird ones I am not atracted to ppl at all for looks they could look like a dish rag and they could be intresting to me if they somhow started doing unexpected things. I am atracted to odd behaviours querks and other stuff that makes me go aheummm. but I have never tryed to engage with anyone yet so perhaps I havent found somone weird anough yet :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shockkkk Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 From AVEN polls it would seem like it. Who knows if they're representative though. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 From AVEN polls it would seem like it. Who knows if they're representative though. I was going to refer to the polls, too. It does look as if queer and straight people are more or less evenly distributed among asexuals. Then again, even if I was allosexual, I wouldn't be straight - I'm pretty sure about that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SMW22792 Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 I feel like I'm emotionally closer to the same sex versus the opposite sex. However, I wouldn't count out any relationship possibilities with the opposite sex. I just see as a less likely possibility. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KevCo Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 In my experience, yes. Asexuals seem to overlap very often with other types of sexual minorities. It seems like asexuals have to really think through it (and often overthink) and in so doing become more aware of and more OK with whatever sexual instincts we have. Being an outlier group also tends to make people more tolerant. I have not read any research on this overlap and dont know if any exists, but it seems like whatever factors make us sexually "divergent" could correlate with other variations i.e. same-sex attraction or transgender. Personally I had considered myself as "basically asexual" for years but didn't know how to think through whatever sex drive I did have. Like you say I sometimes found myself thinking of cuddling or kissing other guys and doing some kinky things with women, but never wanting it very much and not wanting intercourse and just generally wavering in what I might want and how little I wanted it. So I consider myself somewhere in the middle of asexual, bisexual, and straight-kink. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Theoryal Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 In theory my guess would be that asexuals might be slightly more likely to be romantically attracted to any gender, or at least more open to the possibility of a relationship with someone who isn't the gender they're usually attracted to, but who knows. I'd speculate this because of being more interested in just personality and things like cuddling, which don't really depend on gender-specific body-parts the way sexual attraction would. But this probably sort of depends on how much personality difference you feel there is between different genders, how much you or the other person falls into roles that are culturally related to a particular gender, and what roles you prefer in a relationship, or what kind of dynamic you're looking for. I would also speculate that because heterosexuality is the norm, asexuals might feel more comfortable with their own gender because of the lack of sexual expectations up front, thus making it easier to become close with people of the same gender. When sex isn't in the picture, it can make it a little more difficult to distinguish deep friendship from romance - some people may feel like there isn't a difference, while others do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Maple Leaf Forever Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Not me. Have always been heteroromantic. And while I can appreciate good looks on a man, it doesn't "attract" me to him on any level. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cheeringselenator Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Hm thats interesting. I'm asexual but I am also aromantic. But I do feel aesthetic attraction. I do feel like since I am not sexually or romantically attracted to anyone, I do find my aesthetic attraction to be stronger. I'm a girl and I am aesthetically attracted to both girls and boys but I would say more girls, like 70-30. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NaomiMisora Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 I might be, but i don't know, maybe I would be in a platonic way (maybe slightly romantic,idk, to me the borders aren't entirely clear), since I understand girls better and because it's less likely that they hit on you. I think I am more comfortable around them and because of that I'd easier be attracted to them because I easier become close to them? I don't know if that's possible. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sarika Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Before realizing I was on the ace spectrum (let alone the aro spectrum) I considered myself straight as an easy lable, but if someone wanted more information I would admit to not ruling out a relationship with another woman. I by and large only find men "hot" though obviously it's not in a sexual way. I suspect anyone that's questioned their sexuality is more likely to end up here. I didn't despite feeling a bit broken and only ended up here because my best friend suggested I might be demisexual. It would be interesting to have someone do studies without the use of self identified lables, one where the subjects were asked about attraction, sexual arousal, romantic inclination and that sort of thing to get a better idea about those that are A spectrums with or without identifying. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FreyLokey Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 For me, I've never been attracted to women nor see myself to be in a relationship with one. I have noticed that a lot of people on here are either bi or panromantic but that's just an observation on this site and not on every asexual that exists ^_^ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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