Really confused about (sexual?) attraction.

[antheia]

Alright, so the deal is this: I really, really like this guy (who I met online, and lives in a completely different country from mine. just thought i should mention that before anything else), and he likes me too. also, he's sexual. But we're not dating long distance or anything because he already told me that even if we never met, he thinks it'd probably not work out because I identify as asexual. It kinda broke my heart a little bit, but it's understandable.

Anyways, the thing is since we like each other, we often get kinda flirty. nothing too scandalous, might I add. But he just says the most beautiful things and I just get all warm and fuzzy, and I feel like i want to hug him so bad and i feel the need to tell him how much i like him and i get all stupid. Now the part that I'm confused is the feeling I get in my lower abdomen when that happens, right below my navel. It's really difficult to describe, especially since it doesn't last very long, but it's like a warm fuzzy feeling but more intense, kinda tingly, but like a pang, and i feel like it travels a bit "downstairs".

I get that you get butterflies in the stomach, that would be upper abdomen I suppose? (I get "butterflies" with my anxiety and that's where i feel it)

So, what's this feeling below my navel (and downstairs, sort of kinda, which i guess it might be arousal)? but as a whole, is it sexual attraction? even if I do feel it, I KNOW I don't want to engage in any sexual activity with him.

Although I have considered if the universe wants to work with me and we ever do get to meet and possibly start a relationship, I might do it for him. The initial feeling is like "oh well it's just sex" but then the more i think about it the more i feel like "nope nope nope nope".

Also I've never had any kind of relationship so I've never kissed or cuddled or anything with anyone so i can't really say how i would feel in such a situation.

This is the first time this happens to me so it's all more confusing. aack!!

[eched]

I would say just go with it. IE. Don't worry about it or question it, allow it to develop and see what it becomes.

I don't know what sexual attraction is like, but I suppose it's 100% possible there are different levels to it and the first level could be so very small that 99% of people wouldn't bother counting it and an ace might say, it's not strong enough to count and I don't like the grey title if it's this weak.

Point is, you simply haven't experienced it enough to understand it or properly respond to it. So try not to explain it just yet.

[collocations]

From what you're describing I would agree when you call it arousal, but I wouldn't call it sexual attraction because of the situation that is triggering it (something that he says that makes you feel cared for and nice). But maybe a sexual person may be more qualified to define what sexual attraction is because they experience it first hand.

From what I've read around the forums and stuff from experience I don't think arousal is always linked to sexual attraction and asexuals are very capable of arousal even if some don't want to act on it and others do. It could be your body's way of showing you find the situation pleasing.

[Rare Aztec Whstling Chickn]

I'm pretty sure that someone who is sexual wouldn't normally be able to describe sexuall attraction that well. Well, they can maybe descibe how feels a little bit, but it seems it's something that when it happens, you don't have to nor do you think about it.