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Found 7219 results

  1. tragiclover

    Gut punched

    tragiclover replied to Olallieberry's topic in For Sexual Partners, Friends and Allies

    Yeah, I know, I've said no when those encounters happened. Just knowing that there's a possibility of sex in your life that could be right - I can't imagine how that must feel for you. I can't have sex in my marriage that feels right. She doesn't want sex. If I cheat, that's wrong. If I masturbate on my own to porn, that's empty and porn exploits. And if I get a divorce from a loving marriage just so I can have sex, that also feels messed up and foolish. So there's no way I can ever enjoy sex and have it be right. And I feel so trapped by that. I'm happy for you just having the chance to be
  2. Sarah-Sylvia
    Hi 🍰 Arousal can be a normal reaction for some, just like asexuals can have libido and masturbate, even if not drawn to have sex with someone. Only you can know what it all means to you, but you could easily fall into graysexuality or even asexuality maybe. Being with someone asexual doesn't bring up as much thoughts for sex so there could possibilities like how you'd feel if you were with someone sexual, who you know likes to share intimacy that (assuming it's respectful), or however much trauma could have a part in it, it's all a matter of what you feel is part of you, for you
  3. death_table
    I do experience sexual arousal directed at women. I like their curves, butts, legs and their femininity. I often find myself staring at them. I also have a ballbusting fetish. That means that I get aroused looking at women punch, kick, or squeeze men's testicles. It's a special case of my more general femdom fetish. When I was younger, I would masturbate to pictures/videos of women wearing tight dresses or scenes from movies where women would hit men in the testicles. However, nudity and sex don't do anything for me. I have tried to "test" myself many times, for exa
  4. Skuli

    Hello! Just saying hi.

    Skuli posted a topic in Welcome Lounge

    Morning! Figured I'd sign up so I can lurk and get some info, but I figured for solidarity purposes I should introduce myself. I'm a 41(42?) year old male, who only recently "figured" out I'm an ace. As a kid I was very active in a very sex positive community (I was a dancer until I turned about 20) but always only ever had one partner. My minimum relationship length was several years, even as a teenager, and I have never had complaints about my "abilities" when it comes to sex. It was always more an issue of frequency. I don't often get the urge, an usually it's more for reason
  5. Sarah-Sylvia

    Am I ace? and maybe some advice on dating

    Sarah-Sylvia replied to Qlikesit's topic in Members Questioning

    Hi @Qlikesit Someone on the asexual spectrum can still have romantic and sensual interest (we use a split attraction model that sets them apart), and asexuals might still want to masturbate if they have libido, so what you mentioned fits in that, though you mentioned oral and penetration so I wonder what you feel about other forms of sex (using hands, rubbing bodies, using toys, etc), and I mean with a partner. Only you would know if it's for psychological reasons rather than a lack of sexual feelings towards people. Its ok to explore or question, and welcome to the community too 🍰
  6. Wish
    I think the main reasons I identify with the ace community is that, in general, I feel less sexual than the average person, and/or I don't see myself as a sexual being. Some examples include not feeling the need to masturbate, not feeling the need to have sex (maybe once or twice just to do it, it's a short life, but meh), being confused by other people's want and need to have sex, not wanting to look up porn, not having traditional fantasies (similar to aegosexuals), and so on and so forth. You're probably right though that I'm just a kinda weird allo. I'll look for so
  7. Naught Eunuchs
    First, I'm glad this resource exists and look forward to delving into the content here. This post is mildly narcissistic in nature because I desire the help of some more experienced members in figuring out where I land on the ace spectrum, so please do excuse me! I've been identified as ace by others (notably my spouse) but for most of my life (well, since 18 - was closeted prior) I've identified as a gay man. I am not a virgin but my "body count" is, well, rather low for folks in my group, at least if stereotypes are true. I have been in a series of committed relations
  8. ei-hvaĂ°
    I would agree with this. This is how I see this. A non-sexual fetish would be for interest being aroused by the sight and sound of bubblegum popping. There is nothing inherently sexual about the act of gum blowing up and being popped, and a lot of people do that repeatedly without even seeing a hint of sexuality to it, because it isn't really inherently sexual. However, someone who has this as a fetish might pop bubblegum themselves, perhaps deliberately blowing the balloon up as large as possible. They might look up videos on YouTube of bubblegum popping. Perhaps there are high
  9. sleepytess

    Am I asexual if I don't masturbate?

    sleepytess replied to aby55lin's topic in Members Questioning

    completely unrelated...!! asexuality only concerns sexual attraction and how much/how little one feels such attraction towards other people. some aces may masturbate but for no particular reason - aces can have a high sex drive, a low sex drive... have good days, have bad days... everything concerning having sex, wanting sex, interest in sex can fluctuate from asexual to asexual. the only thing that defines asexuality is how you personally experience sexual attraction.
  10. LyraAP-B
    I’ve been questioning for a few years at this point and am at the point where I would really like a label for what I am. I’ve been going with asexual but I’m not 100% the term fits. any help on figuring out my identity is appreciated. • I don’t look at someone and think I want to have sex with them or I want to see them naked. • I would and have had sex but generally I’m neutral to having it and the act doesn’t turn me on. I get enjoyment out of my partners enjoyment. • Semen makes me want to vomit. (Like everything about it smell, sight, feel, taste) • I love kissing genera
  11. Philip027
    Yeah, I get all that; I was just wondering what they meant by "the work", because like I said, someone (health professional or otherwise) simply directing me to masturbate or have orgasms or whatever would be extremely pointless advice, and for me at least it wouldn't even be out of a lack of "comfort".
  12. read
    Just as a forewarning, I’m not sex-repulsed and I talk about it some here (it’s important to the overall question) so if you aren’t comfortable with it don’t read, but it’s not really graphic. I’m 21 years old and in the past four years I started questioning my sexual orientation. Then, the past year I started questioning whether I might be asexual. To preface some of this: I’ve never had any type of sex, I’ve never kissed anyone. I remember 2 years ago my roommate was talking to me about sex and some other stuff and she asked if maybe I was asexual and I dismissed it right off t
  13. ei-hvaĂ°

    asexual and confused.

    ei-hvaĂ° replied to chirpot's topic in The Gray Area, Sex and Related Discussions

    I can definitely relate to this. I'm placiosexual, so I enjoy pleasuring my partner, but I also just really enjoy cuddling by itself, and I've never fantasized about my partner or sex. Actually having sex, or having sexual attention turned to me runs the gamut from indifferency to aversion depending on what's being done. Even though my partner is asexual too, she is more sensual than I am and enjoys some pretty heavy petting. I'm happy to accommodate her and make her happy, but I'm also glad she respects my wishes not to have the focus be on me. She can touch my penis if she really wants to, b
  14. Archibald
    Hello, I just found out about aegosexuality today and I think I am as well, even though I'm not sure. And I still don't know whether I'm aromantic or something else in that area. Up until yesterday I thought I was some strange kind of "super straight", because even though I am female and I never thought of myself as different gender, I was always repulsed by female body (especially vulva) in porn or sexual fantasy, even my own, so I could never self-insert myself in such imagination. But I was always turned on by two males. In past I watched a lot of gay porn, I read many erotic and roman
  15. Shhiii
    Hello. I just discovered this forum exists and immediately searched for a questioning section. Read some other threads but nothing quite fit my situation. SO, from an early age I would call people cute and eventually hot and would say things like “hell yeah, I’d jump that” bc that was the normal thing to say but if I actually thought of that persons genitalia, I’d immediately no longer wanna think about that bc genitalia have always kinda grossed me out. I’ve been with people with vaginas and people with penises and it’s just, not a vibe idk. I THINK I feel sexual attracti
  16. notknow
    Hello guys, I am 25yo men and I am virgin and I have never kissed a girl or have a date. It is not like I am a loser. I have a good job, some friends and so on. So, I can't figure out what I am. I know that the probably best solution is to talk with a psychologist and I have already an appointment for next week, but I would like to read some answers from who have personal experience with asexuality. I believe that my story with sexuality began when I was 10yo, almost 11. At this time, I was one year younger than boys in my classes in the school. They began talk about sex, mastur
  17. Justpassingby123
    Hello, when someone mentioned a sexuality to me I felt like that wasn’t me because I did feel something and I did want to have sex. But I recently got into more contact with LGBTQ+ related literature and found out that there is a spectrum to asexuality and that it might explain some questions I asked myself over the years. I think I might be on the spectrum but I am having a hard time with it. I was never one of those teenagers who felt the urge of experimenting with their bodies during puperty but I never thought much of it because I didn’t really know that it was very normal a
  18. Pancake_n
    Hello, I need your help, I (24f) have been questioning my sexuality for longer than I would like to admit. I am with my boyfriend for 3 years now, he is younger but much more experienced in sex. Before him I only had 3 sexual partners and they were all just one night stands. The first time me and my bf slept together I couldn’t finish and really wanted for him to like me so I faked orgasm. The first and second year we would only see each other during weekends, because of our different work schedules. We would have sex at least 2-3 times a month. For me, it was always the same. As a foreplay he
  19. Snow in the background
    Hello! I have another question: I am a male grey-heterosexual. I only like to engage in sexual activities very rarely, usually in specific circumstances and only with parents who look in a certain way (nothing very special, though. For example: I don't get sexually attracted to women with red hair. Of course, I have nothing against women who are like that). But I have do deal with my libido. My question is: what should I do? I tried looking at adult movies, but I get bored pretty quickly lately and it ends up just being frustrating. I tried masturbating, but it takes a lot
  20. nanogretchen4

    Asexuality and classical conditioning

    nanogretchen4 replied to the curious guy's topic in For Sexual Partners, Friends and Allies

    More often than not, the visual stimuli that trigger a physical arousal response are sexually relevant rather than sexually desirable. The hindbrain thinks the images probably have something to do with sex and triggers physical arousal just in case sex is about to happen. This is absolutely not evidence that the experimental subject wants to do the activities shown in the images or is attracted to anyone shown in the images. When the conscious mind and the body are not on the same page that is called arousal nonconcordance, and it happens to cis women 90% of the time. For example, most cis wom
  21. Ceebs

    Libido - how would you define it?

    Ceebs replied to Lizzy95's topic in Members Questioning

    Ok so they don't enjoy it or they feel negatively about it or whatever, but sometimes feel they have to masturbate anyway to get rid of a physical feeling. That's still an intrinsic reason as far as I can tell? It's not them saying 'I have no physical urge for this and also I get no mental pleasure from it, but I've been told that it's healthy/that all people do it/that something is wrong with me if I don't/whatever so I'm going to masturbate despite having zero innate instinct to do so'. I didn't just mean an emotional want when I used that word; taking care of a bodily urge is a physical wan
  22. Jamie33
    Hello, I'm new here and just questioning whether I'm really Ace and whether it might help me to share it with some people. I know that no-one here can give me 'the answer' but I guess I'm looking for people who might share my experiences (or not), or offer some differing perspectives on them. (Sorry in advance that this is a long one...) I'm a Cis male aged 46, I identify as gay. I do experience sexual attraction (exclusively towards men) and masturbate - but I don't think I've ever craved sex IRL for myself. And my sexual attractions are pretty... well, vanilla by anyone's standards, I'm
  23. Sarah-Sylvia
    Right, which is how we talk about libido. I think you'll likely see a lot people talk about libido this way here. If you didn't have libido, you wouldn't feel as much as you do to be able to masturbate. Like, having libido but it's low (though obviously can't speak for you). For me since my libido went down, I saw the progression, where it took a while to build before I'd feel arousal and might masturbate, to now basically almost never feeling arousal, because I have 'very' low libido now. On a side note there can be a mental component to arousal too, like some who have talked about ha
  24. ErickO70
    Libido actually has to do with sexual desire, but to clarify yes it would be a gage of how often there is sexual desire. I don't have libido, and thus no desire for sex ever. I do get aroused and then may masturbate to relieve the arousal, but for me I don't desire to relieve the arousal. It's a choice. Sometimes most times I don't. Other times like if I have trouble falling asleep I will arouse myself to masturbate, but my only desire there is falling asleep. So as I tried to state Arousal is purely a physical reaction....in people who experience desire and attraction those thing
  25. Lizzy95
    I really like this way to 'pick it apart'. Arousal and desire can definately be separate, which is something that can for example happen in situations of sexual abuse (and which then often is given as 'proof' that you 'wanted' the abuse, because arousal, physical reaction to stimuli, is equated with desire). So, yes, I agree with the separation of desire/libido (or sex drive) and arousal, and both those things are indeed separate from sexual attraction. Let me try to word this with an example, the famous example of tickling and itching. If someone tickles you, chances are it'll ma
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