My discovery of asexuality begins with irony. I had a really huge crush on a friend of mine- all of my friends knew I liked him, and were totally perplexed when I spent an entire year not doing anything about it. Finally, just before he moved away, I got the courage to tell him- but then he asked a question I’ll never forget: “If I liked you, what would you do?”

My response was an honest one- “Nothing… Either way, it doesn’t matter.” It frustrated me, and probably confused him a bit too. I realized that my crush on him, and the rare crushes I had in the past, were platonic at best. I never had the desire to kiss or doing anything physical. I never liked dating because I was afraid guys would try to put the moves on me. Two had, and I had shot both down. It occurred to me that I was different, but I didn’t have a name for it quite yet.