Elora Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 I'm not a cuddler. I like my space when I sleep. But, I also like having someone else there. I like the sound of someone else breathing next to me. I am married, and it never crossed our minds beforehand to not share a bed. We now have two dogs who share our bed as well. I take one side, my husband takes the other side, and both dogs (one weighs 65lbs, one weighs 20lbs) sleep in between us. That works pretty well for me, even though I sometimes don't have enough room to get comfortable. When the dogs bother my husband too much, he gets up and sleeps in the guest room. I push the dogs more onto his side and have a little more room. It helps me that he and I do not go to bed at the same time. He works morning shift, I work afternoon shift. He's nearly always in bed before I get home, and he gets up long before I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Moony Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 Also, because I have restless leg syndrome, every time I share a bed with someone I am hyper aware that if I move as much as my body desires to move I will wake them up constantly. Sometimes I can spend up to 4 hours trying to fall asleep just because my legs refuse to stop moving about. Wait, how often does it happen to you? In my case, it happens, say...once in two months and once a week or so in the summer. Like twice or thrice a week, it's usually not very bad, most of the time I just twirl around a lot and slightly move my legs back and forward rubbing my feet against the covers. Not often, but say 3 times a year it will be stronger and I will lie awake in bed while my legs feel like they are filled with pent up energy. Something I've discovered to feel really comfortable and give my legs what they want is to sort of squish my feet into bars or in between the mattress and wall. For some reason it makes it better. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Noodle Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 I hate sleeping alone. I share my bed with everyone... animals, friends, family, or partners. I even sleep in the same bed with my friend and her husband XD I hate sleeping alone. Quoted For Truth! Link to post Share on other sites
EdenRose Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 I would actually like to share my bed with someone. *cheesy mode*. But a BIG one, so if I want to go away I still can without my partner taking it the wrong way. :p Link to post Share on other sites
NotAllHere Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 I lucked out. I have a HUGE bed, so space is never an issue. I sleep better with someone else there. I like knowing my partner is near and that I can cuddle when I want- yet I can still have my space. It helps that my boyfriend is a heavy sleeper so I can get up and move around if I need to, plus neither of us have our beds boxed in by a wall. We both have problems with nightmares, but we've found that when sleeping together, it gets a bit better. Though, his cat does have a tendency to lay down in such a way that I can't move my legs without sending him flying. I still think that having separate rooms and separate beds is something I could get behind if we moved in together... we can always sleep in one or the other if we want to be together, and then sleep apart when we want. And a second bathroom would be nice. I'm a bathroom hog. My stuff sprawls when I put it down on a counter. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Noodle Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 I would actually like to share my bed with someone. *cheesy mode*. But a BIG one, so if I want to go away I still can without my partner taking it the wrong way. :P Try a King size bed, they are massive! You can have 3 people in there and still have space to roll away. Link to post Share on other sites
Shaurija Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I like cuddling, but I don't like clingy. If I'm going to sleep, I don't want them messing around with my body (I'm trying to sleep) or wrapping their entire body around me (my leg gets stuck in an uncomfortable position or I feel suffocated, etc.), but lightly holding my body is nice. And if we spoon before going to sleep, that's fine. So if they follow those guidelines, sleeping in the same bed as my partner is fine. So far I've enjoyed it. Although, honestly, I prefer sharing my bed with my dog. He's so cute ^_^ - and he doesn't want to have sex either. That's the worst part about a shared bed, being pushed into a sexual situation when I want to sleep. However, my experiences with sharing a bed with my partner has only been for the few days I visit him when I go to his house. If I slept with him every night, I might want to get my own bed and only share a bed sometimes. My parents share a bed, and they hardly ever go to bed together. My mom usually ends up on the lazy boy upstairs because their schedules are so different. So even if you do share a bed with your partner, it might be a good idea to keep a spare one just in case. Link to post Share on other sites
elainetta Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Hmm... Depending on how involved we were and if my partner wanted to, and provided everyone involved would have enough space, I would want to share. I've shared with my sisters nearly every time I've visited my grandparents, and last time all three of us decided to share the pull-out couch. I was surprised we all fit, but no one seemed to have any problems falling asleep. Such things also mean I know how to be nice about it; I don't know exactly why, but I hardly move at all after I fall asleep (so little that I've woken up to find my hand still "asleep" several times). So there's that. :) Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I would like to know what it would feel like to curl up with a girl and fall asleep in her arms.......then to see her first thing in the morning. I feel like in my dream scenario that would be super great. However in real world I don't know what my body does when I sleep, or hers! What if I wake up and she is all drooling and snoring on me and gross!? Or what if I have morning wood and I'm poking her?? It is a chance I'll have to risk I think! Link to post Share on other sites
Feral_Sophisticate Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I would like to know what it would feel like to curl up with a girl and fall asleep in her arms.......then to see her first thing in the morning. I feel like in my dream scenario that would be super great. However in real world I don't know what my body does when I sleep, or hers! What if I wake up and she is all drooling and snoring on me and gross!? Or what if I have morning wood and I'm poking her?? It is a chance I'll have to risk I think! My ace girl sleeps nude most of the time. If you're worried about being "pokey", do what I do. Wear undies. We spend most nights with our legs intertwined, or with one or both of us holding each other. For us, it's a total comfort kind of thing. We do that until one of us is uncomfortable or too hot, then we move apart until we get cold (or miss the contact), then resume the cuddles. I find it to be a most agreeable setup. Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 That sounds nice....I want a girl! Link to post Share on other sites
Feral_Sophisticate Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 That sounds nice....I want a girl! There's lots of them out there... And not that hard to get. "Nosce te ipsum", first and foremost. And once you've got that under control, just BE. You'll often find what you're most desiring when you stop actually looking. Life will find a way. (Ok, as much of a cliche as that might happen, I can tell you honestly that it really is like that... If you just live your life, rather than try to micromanage every little detail - including finding "the one" - you will often find what you most want, without actually doing anything to find it - or them...) Link to post Share on other sites
EdenRose Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I would actually like to share my bed with someone. *cheesy mode*. But a BIG one, so if I want to go away I still can without my partner taking it the wrong way. :P Try a King size bed, they are massive! You can have 3 people in there and still have space to roll away. I'll do that ! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Dobos Torte Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I would like to know what it would feel like to curl up with a girl and fall asleep in her arms.......then to see her first thing in the morning. I feel like in my dream scenario that would be super great. However in real world I don't know what my body does when I sleep, or hers! What if I wake up and she is all drooling and snoring on me and gross!? Or what if I have morning wood and I'm poking her?? It is a chance I'll have to risk I think! I assume that, once you have somebody, none of this matters anymore. :) My bed is falling apart, literally, so I either sleep in it, unmade, with my dog; or go to my dad's place in the big bed and sleep with mom so she does not feel lonely. I don't think any girl can be as annoying to sleep around than older ladies. My mom either snores or makes some odd pop-pop-pop sounds when sleeping and I now understand why dad was waking up very early all the time. XD In other words, try it with a dog or a cat first - they tend to occupy space, small dogs are notorious in taking up half of your bed, they get warm and perhaps they'll prepare you for your future GF. :) My ace girl sleeps nude most of the time. If you're worried about being "pokey", do what I do. Wear undies. Stupid question...are all men "pokey"? My fellow ace boyfriend, whom I can imagine sleeping next to in near future never told me if he gets...that. And since he also normally does not wear underwear, I find that even more confusing, as I do hope he wears something, anything down there to sleep. Like twice or thrice a week, it's usually not very bad, most of the time I just twirl around a lot and slightly move my legs back and forward rubbing my feet against the covers. Not often, but say 3 times a year it will be stronger and I will lie awake in bed while my legs feel like they are filled with pent up energy. Something I've discovered to feel really comfortable and give my legs what they want is to sort of squish my feet into bars or in between the mattress and wall. For some reason it makes it better. You have it far, far worse than me. :( I sympathise, but I wish there was a way for you to relieve it. Link to post Share on other sites
Astrobot Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I wouldn't mind sharing my bed. It's actually great to have a warm body near you when you feel cold. Link to post Share on other sites
NotAllHere Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Not all men get morning wood. And plenty only get it sometimes. Having morning wood is different from having 'wet dreams' which may mess up the bed and require cleaning. But a simple erection... why do you need underwear on your own bed with that? It's not messy at all, unless you do something about it. Most people just wait for it to go away, or they go pee and that is what was causing it. Feral_Sophisticate seems to have a similar setup to me. We can cuddle when we want, but our beds are large enough that if he gets hot and sweaty I can move away. If we're cold, we sleep closer together. I occasionally hog the blankets, and he occasionally steals all the pillows, so you have to factor that into account- I bought more pillows and a bigger blanket. Everybody wins! Link to post Share on other sites
Feral_Sophisticate Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 My ace girl sleeps nude most of the time. If you're worried about being "pokey", do what I do. Wear undies. Stupid question...are all men "pokey"? My fellow ace boyfriend, whom I can imagine sleeping next to in near future never told me if he gets...that. And since he also normally does not wear underwear, I find that even more confusing, as I do hope he wears something, anything down there to sleep. Nope, we're not. It happens, sometimes - usually for the most innocuous reasons. Besides, if he cares about you (and is aware that he is in "that state"), when he is all "happy down there", he'll strive to NOT have it contact you unnecessarily. I do that with my girl, the few times that we have slept nude together. Besides, it's not like I'm going to wake up from a particularly arousing dream and jump her. I suspect he would show you the same courtesy, too. TMI Warning: "Morning wood" happens due to a need to urinate, as most men find it very difficult to pee when they're hard. Not all men get morning wood. And plenty only get it sometimes. Having morning wood is different from having 'wet dreams' which may mess up the bed and require cleaning. But a simple erection... why do you need underwear on your own bed with that? It's not messy at all, unless you do something about it. Most people just wait for it to go away, or they go pee and that is what was causing it. And wet dreams are less common for those who masturbate frequently, due to there being less of a pent up "need". Of course, it's also good for your prostrate! (actually it is - or at least, so various studies have said.) Link to post Share on other sites
A shard of glass Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Personally, I'd kill to have a girlfriend, but I kind of struggle when it comes to choosing a partner, but anyway. I wouldn't jump into bed with them straight away (and I mean share a bed, not have sex with them). But I'd make sure that it's something that my partner would want, because I feel that my sexual needs come second to my partner's. I also believe that sharing a bed is a really important part of intimacy. (My point here is that I feel that a relationship needs intimacy and exclusivity (as in the whole "You're the only person I do this with" thing).) Link to post Share on other sites
Dobos Torte Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Not all men get morning wood. And plenty only get it sometimes. Having morning wood is different from having 'wet dreams' which may mess up the bed and require cleaning. But a simple erection... why do you need underwear on your own bed with that? It's not messy at all, unless you do something about it. Most people just wait for it to go away, or they go pee and that is what was causing it. Because most people err...sleep clothed? I know I do. Nope, we're not. It happens, sometimes - usually for the most innocuous reasons. Besides, if he cares about you (and is aware that he is in "that state"), when he is all "happy down there", he'll strive to NOT have it contact you unnecessarily. I do that with my girl, the few times that we have slept nude together. Besides, it's not like I'm going to wake up from a particularly arousing dream and jump her. I suspect he would show you the same courtesy, too. TMI Warning: "Morning wood" happens due to a need to urinate, as most men find it very difficult to pee when they're hard. Not all men get morning wood. And plenty only get it sometimes. Having morning wood is different from having 'wet dreams' which may mess up the bed and require cleaning. But a simple erection... why do you need underwear on your own bed with that? It's not messy at all, unless you do something about it. Most people just wait for it to go away, or they go pee and that is what was causing it. And wet dreams are less common for those who masturbate frequently, due to there being less of a pent up "need". Of course, it's also good for your prostrate! (actually it is - or at least, so various studies have said.) Hmmm...if the person I'm concerned about was like you and me, open and not having a problem with TMI, this would be easy. But when we discussed our asexuality, I casually mentioned that I tried to masturbate a couple of times, but failed and gave up after two hours after my most persistent attempt to feel anything. He said that he's more asexual than me - whatever is that supposed to mean in this context. I tried to ask him if he gets any kind of erections, at any given time, and he directed the conversation to something else. A psychologist told me that he's probably grey-a like me and that he's constructed this saintly image for himself, which he now has trouble keeping up with because he's attracted to me as much as I am to him. Denial and all. As for everything else - thank you. :) Now I know more. Link to post Share on other sites
JaySexual Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Never been a relationship (thus never shared a bed with anyone) -- If in a true/long-term relationship I'd be fine with sharing a bed (but not every night - maybe something like weekends only). I also like the thought of cuddling with someone - especially on cold winter nights... Link to post Share on other sites
Amphoteric Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I've never been in a relationship but have shared a bed with a friend before (but not in any romantic context). In a long-term, serious relationship, I'd be more than okay with sharing a bed. Especially if we got to cuddle often. That sort of intimacy seems really comforting. Link to post Share on other sites
Ziggy_G Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I slept in the same bed as my ex a few times (just cos he or I couldn't go home to our place at that time of night) it was horrible. How anyone does it I have no idea. Him being there made it too warm, it was uncomfortable and awkward, I couldn't sleep or relax at all, when he was there, just being there I mean how am I meant to relax with him there? How am I meant to feel comfortable enough to get some sleep? And then he's there when I wake up which is even worse cos the last thing I want to do when I wake up is see another person. Especially him. Then I had to wash the sheets cos the whole bed smelt of him afterwards and I couldn't sleep in the room when it smelt like him. I am so pleased I'm never gonna share a bed with a guy ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Nothings_Changed Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I feel like my partner and I have a great arrangement: he sleeps during the day while I'm at work, and I sleep at night while he's working. We only end up sleeping together for a full night about once a week, with a few shared naps during the week. I prefer to sleep alone but sharing a few times a week is nice. Link to post Share on other sites
A shard of glass Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I feel like my partner and I have a great arrangement: he sleeps during the day while I'm at work, and I sleep at night while he's working. We only end up sleeping together for a full night about once a week, with a few shared naps during the week. I prefer to sleep alone but sharing a few times a week is nice. I don't mean to be a spanner in the works but surely if you sleep when he's awake and vice versa, surely you won't see much of each other? Anyway, my point is that when I find someone who is special to me in that way, I always want to be around them (OK, I'm a pretty clingy guy) but I do know when enough is enough. Anyway, I really hope that you and your special someone get along ok... I'm really against destructive relationships and all that. Link to post Share on other sites
MetroCard Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Yea, but no cuddling.. Link to post Share on other sites
PeterDave Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I am almost certainly having my girlfriend move in with me in the next year or so, and there is no way we are sharing a bed, or bedroom. Neither of us is comfortable with sharing a bed. I think I'm worse with it (which is odd perhaps since I'm sexual and she's ace), but last time we shared a bed for a night I laid there for four hours not able to sleep for more than ten minutes at a time, and then quietly got up and slept on the floor. It's just too personal and too contact-y for me to get any rest. I'm actually not sure if she has expressed to her family that she's an Ace: I can imagine that it will be a bit odd to tell people that we're moving in together but we'll have separate beds. Perhaps my bedroom will just be officially called the "guest bed", even though in reality I'll sleep there every night. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 If you're worried about being "pokey", do what I do. Wear undies. You find undies to be enough for that?? Kudos to you, I guess... I wouldn't feel safe from the poking risk without a metal chastity belt. (And that's neither sarcasm nor exaggeration... but it does mean I choose to skip the hassle of sharing a bed, sincee chastity belts are uncomfortable, unhygienic, and expensive.) Link to post Share on other sites
Feral_Sophisticate Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 If you're worried about being "pokey", do what I do. Wear undies. You find undies to be enough for that?? Kudos to you, I guess... I wouldn't feel safe from the poking risk without a metal chastity belt. (And that's neither sarcasm nor exaggeration... but it does mean I choose to skip the hassle of sharing a bed, sincee chastity belts are uncomfortable, unhygienic, and expensive.) Well, it works for her, anyway... She doesn't have to feel my peen on or against her, and she's comfortable with things like that. Me? I don't care what I wear to bed - as long as I don't feel too hot in the process. What follows may be TMI for some... Although even if I were naked, there's *zero* chance of a "whoops, how'd that get in there?" moment happening, as I neither drink to excess (which, believe it or not, can lead to something like that happening) nor am I so morally bankrupt that I would try something like that to someone who as asleep (unless that's something they're absolutely comfortable with - which certainly won't be the case, here). Agreed on chastity belts. They're uncomfortable (especially for a guy), not at all cheap, and hygiene is an issue. On an unrelated note, I'd definitely buy her one for any kink or fetish event we might go to (and she'd definitely gladly wear it). They do look hot. I'm so not wearing a cock cage... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Post may be (slightly) TMI... Although even if I were naked, there's *zero* chance of a "whoops, how'd that get in there?" moment happening, as I neither drink to excess (which, believe it or not, can lead to something like that happening) nor am I so morally bankrupt that I would try something like that to someone who as asleep (unless that's something they're absolutely comfortable with - which certainly won't be the case, here). I'm pretty sure there's no risk of "into", but the thought of just having that thing touch any part of a woman's body horrifies me and grosses me out. Even when the woman in question herself doesn't have any problem with it - I know R. wouldn't - it still makes my hairs stand on end. And even through a thin layer of cloth or two, such touch would clearly still be felt. Link to post Share on other sites
Feral_Sophisticate Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Post may be (slightly) TMI... Although even if I were naked, there's *zero* chance of a "whoops, how'd that get in there?" moment happening, as I neither drink to excess (which, believe it or not, can lead to something like that happening) nor am I so morally bankrupt that I would try something like that to someone who as asleep (unless that's something they're absolutely comfortable with - which certainly won't be the case, here). I'm pretty sure there's no risk of "into", but the thought of just having that thing touch any part of a woman's body horrifies me and grosses me out. Even when the woman in question herself doesn't have any problem with it - I know R. wouldn't - it still makes my hairs stand on end. And even through a thin layer of cloth or two, such touch would clearly still be felt. That's how you feel about it, and you're certainly free to feel as you do. How I feel is different, but no less valid. Of course, if my girl wasn't comfortable with me wearing undies when sleeping, I'd either compromise (and adapt) or move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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