What is being taught in Sex Education classes these days?

[F1shCake]

Pictures of STDs in order to get the point across, here's is all of the contraception, we put a condom on a dildo and that's about it. No mention of LGBTA+ or consent

[dawnflower8]

I went to a public school and didn't learn that sex was something to be enjoyed, but I did learn about different types of STD's and birth control, protection, etc. So yeah, it prepared us at least, but I thought it was just for procreation and didn't understand birth control/protection in the first place...why would people want sex if they didn't want kids? I first learned what sex was when I was 10 and was disgusted, and thought of it as "something unpleasant you have to go through if you want kids," kind of like pregnancy and giving birth. I never would have thought it was something people did for PLEASURE until I learned what porn was in middle school. And I still can't understand it, honestly. 

[Liz_Rd]

Im an American High School student (in the bible belt area) and the sex ed was kinda worked into the health class. We had a lady come in for 2 days and teach us about basically everything that can (and an implied WILL) go wrong if we had sex before getting married. It was a lot about STDs and a bit about consent and protection for a heterosexual person. The lady went over a bunch of different true stories she's seen and heard over the years but all of them were involving straight couples. There was a lot of "sure sex is enjoyable but if you wait until you are married you wont be putting your spouse at risk." At the end of the second day she did mention that she "knew that gay people had experiences too, but she had no stories from them". 

 

My friend who was in that class with me (who's a lesbian and knows Im ace) asked me after that class ended "Did you get anything useful from that?" I said no and asked her if she did, to which she said no as well. The whole idea of waiting till marriage got laughed at by everyone else the second the lady left, including a guy willing to trade his virginity for a cupcake one of the girls in the room had.

[mistfallen]

I'm an american high schooler. We haven't had any sex ed at all during my time at high school (9-12th grade) and the only bit I got was in 8th grade where we got a handout of a penis and a vagina and had to label the parts. Then they told us to not have sex in the form of a video from the 90s and that was it. 

I'm not kidding. And I live in California, which isn't even known to be an "abstinence- only" education state. My parents taught me nothing, and I was quite surprised to hear a few of my friends got a sex talk from theirs. 

Basically, I learned everything I know about sex from the internet and jokes I overheard guys telling. They didn't say anything about homosexuality or asexuality, I mean... I learned that I was asexual from a freakin' youtube video. I didn't know being gay was a thing until maybe 7th grade and since my parents only spoke of "the homosexuals" in hushed and angry tones, I thought being gay was a mental disorder for quite some time.

[Comrade F&F]

Let's see...I jumped schools a lot during that time. They were all some variant of a Christian school, so I have three different experiences.

 

The first class was what you'd expect from a sex-ed class. It was co-ed, but there ended up being more guys than girls. They explain what reproduction is, the biology of how babies developed, the different methods of protection, different types of diseases, how to take care of a sack of rice (those things are heavy), and a documentary of young adults and teens raising children, with all the stressful complications that go with it. Oh, and a healthy dose of the reality of childbirth before anyone is actually prepared for it.

 

I hated the class because it was absolutely irrelevant to me. And there were the classmates who would be grinning from ear to ear, cracking innuendos while the teacher tries to retain a mature composure. "Why don't they put a picture of a REAL women's va-va in the textbook!?" well gee, probably because there'd be a lot of complaints from parents if they did.

 

Second time was going to a very, very conservative school. Separate boys and girls, and we had to memorize Bible passages of Ruth and this was the example every young lady should follow. No idea what the boys had to do, (likely something similar) but good sweet sanity, I hated that class. Oh yes, and of course, any variant under the LGBT rainbow was a terrible, tragic pull toward sin and must be resisted at all cost!! We were going to grow up to be fine young ladies, get married, and have lots of children, of course! No way around it, and it would be wonderful!! We even had a guest speaker, of this little old lady telling us how wonderful it is to be passive, soft spoken, and submissive to thine husband. Urk. 

 

Needless to say, my parents got me out of there quick.

 

Last one was probably the best. Still religious influence, but with a whole lot less zeal. It was more of, 'sex is sacred, and shouldn't be taken lightly. Seriously, you'll be more likely to end up hurting yourself if you go about this all willy-nilly. Wait until your DAMN SURE this is THE ONE." And it was again, co-ed. Oh and we could talk and debate about the material we were given, instead of having it shoved down our throats with no questions asked! This was also in the senior year, so all the biological parts was expected to have been covered already. IT was more on the philosophical importance of partnership, than actual intercourse.

[Flowertheflower]

Where I live you're supposed to get basic sex-ed before 12 i think.

 

I don't really remember much of it tbh.

Probably because I closed my eyes a lot.

 

 

[Red Sun Rises]

I was homeschooled by my mother, and when I was about 6 or 7 years old one of my aunts was pregnant and me and my younger sister were asking questions (she was about 5).  So my mom gets out our anatomy flash cards that are pretty darn detailed, and explains EXACTLY what happens when you have sex and how babies are made and then get pushed out.  I remember going "The boy has to put it INSIDE YOU?"  

 

Pretty sure it scarred me for life.  I vomit in my mouth a little every time I remember it.

 

She also tried giving me "the talk" when I was middle school aged as well, but since I remembered her original talk I just ended up sobbing every time she tried to start, and she never actually went through with it xD  Dodged the second bullet, at least.

[AussieIsAce]

I went to a catholic private school in Australia

my friends who went to non religious schools had the exact same education on sex as myself. 

 

In my school here in Australia i learnt pretty much everything about it.

what will happen to your body as you get older (pubes). you have to labal diagrams of male and female genitals.

they explain hormones and how they effect you. 

they go through all the sti's and how to prevent and treat them. which ones are bad and which ones can be dealt with.

they go over periods and general female needs.

how you can get prego

they tell you if you wanna do anal to make sure that you use lots of lube and wear gloves and use a condom

they show a video of how to use a condom and everyone is given one to put onto a dildo in class.

they go over methods of contraception. 

they pretty much teach us everything that you need to know, they even talk abut how sex can effect you emotionally. they even tell you when you should have sex and when you shouldnt. 

learnt all about drugs and drink spiking...its all covered

i have no complaints at all. there was never any question in my life about it because they teach it all.

in Australia in year 3 you have your first sex talk. and every year at school after you have sex talks. i had sex talks in year 12....like i was 17 i thought i new it all but i learnt stuff even in my final year. 

 

 

Guys and girls arent seperated during these sessions btw because why would a man not need to know about tampons....

 

i dont understand why sex ed is a big deal in america...like we learn about gay sex and even what is and what isnt rape...like you gotta learn this stuff.

im glad that i was taught. i mean i didnt know what a period was, if i hadnt been shown id of been so scared when i got mine. 

 

parents can teach there children but the professionals that go to each school to teach really understand how to explain and what needs to be taught. my mother wouldnt be about to tell me about what to do if i share needles or have sex with someone with hiv..but they do and will.

[Telecaster68]

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i dont understand why sex ed is a big deal in america...

Religion.

[borkfork]

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20 states require that if provided, sex and/or HIV education must be medically, factually or technically accurate. State definitions of “medically accurate" vary, from requiring that the department of health review curriculum for accuracy, to mandating that curriculum be based on information from “published authorities upon which medical professionals rely.”

http://www.ncsl.org/research/health/state-policies-on-sex-education-in-schools.aspx

 

20/50+D.C. is pathetic.

 

There are too many people with opinions trying to stand between students and facts. Parents, district board members, PTA, the teachers themselves can be a pain in the ass. Nevermind the politicians who use them for their agenda to get those poll points. 

[Skycaptain]

Nevermind the politicians who use them for their agenda to get those poll points. 

 

Piling on the agony

[LeChat]

@miettaisace

 

Wow. That's an impressive sex education curriculum!

 

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...they go through all the sti's and how to prevent and treat them. which ones are bad and which ones can be dealt with...

All I remember from my fifth grade (10-11 year olds) sex ed was first learning about the AIDS epidemic, then about periods, pregnancy, sti's etc. My teachers said that the only, 100% way to prevent being infected by sti's and AIDS was to abstain from sex. All of it just felt scary and dangerous to me at that age.

[AussieIsAce]

1 hour ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

100% way to prevent being infected by sti's and AIDS was to abstain from sex. All of it just felt scary and dangerous to me at that age

wow thats crazy. we were told its normal to have sex which is why i felt so shitty about being ace.

 

we start sex ed at age 7-8 and finish end of high school so 17-18 

 

im kinda shocked yall dont learn as much...they hand out free condoms and pads to all students over here.

i got a little goodie bag filled with lubes and pads and booklets about all kinds of stuff.

[Grimez]

I went to a public high school in the United States. Our sex-ed was rudimentary at best. STD's, how condoms work, how sex works and how people are made. It bored the hell out of me most of the time but I have to admit, it's amazed me how the combination of two cells can create an entire human being (science/biology nerd coming out).

[borkfork]

This briefly compares sex ed in the States to the Netherlands, written by a Columbia MPH (Master's in Public Health) major. 

[Salted Karamel]

Public school in a liberal US state, graduated in '03. I don't remember much but it was part of our 9th grade health class and was not gender segregated. We went over basic anatomy and biological functions, there were awkward videos about how receptors in the skin or something have something to do with the connection between touch and arousal, they went over STDs, contraceptive methods, I recall learning that there's a higher chance of contracting transmittable diseases via anal sex because it's more likely to abrade the tissue and you need to use a condom for anal even though there's no risk of pregnancy. I think there was a childbirth video. I know they mentioned homosexuality and probably bisexuality; I don't think they mentioned asexuality.

 

Incidentally, I do know that I was in high school when I first learned about asexuality, though I don't recall if it was from school or just contemporaneous with it. I considered that I might have been ace and thought it would have explained a lot, but then figured I could not have been ace because I'd had crushes on some people. e.e No one ever taught me that romantic attraction was something different.

 

But anyway, I'd already learned about sex when I was 5 or so due to, like, existing in the world and asking questions about shit.

[HolyBonobos]

I went to a small private elementary school where the 4th, 5th, and 6th grades were combined. Every other year, this class would receive "The Human Anatomy Lesson", during which about forty or so students were sequestered in a room for about a week to learn the wonders of human anatomy...down there. It primarily consisted of studying and coloring in medically accurate diagrams of the male and female reproductive systems, dropping anonymous questions in a Kleenex box, and the teachers making weird jokes about reproduction that were, in hindsight, probably inappropriate to say in front of a mixed class of 10- to 12-year-olds. Sex was never explicitly mentioned, but the lesson was obviously made with the assumption that each student would enter a long-term heterosexual relationship somewhere down the road. I only took the lesson once (I left the school after 4th grade), but I came away with only a partial understanding of relationships and later confusion as to why I didn't want one. Fast-forward to freshman year of high school. I took a mandatory wellness class that was supposed to go over sex ed but never did (thank goodness; the teacher was a creepy, racist, misogynistic pervert). The next year, I was yet again forced into another mandatory wellness class (thankfully with another teacher) that did go over sex ed. Again, more labeling of diagrams (old hat by now), plus a weirdly in-depth unit on birth control methods (on which we were tested), another unit on consent laws (yay, progress), and the typical STD "scare tactics". This time, homosexuality was briefly touched on, but nothing really more than an "oh yeah, this is also a thing". Again, the lessons were designed with the idea that everyone in the class was going to have sex at some point. Asexuality was not mentioned at all.

[Hermit Advocate]

7 hours ago, Grimez said:

I went to a public high school in the United States. Our sex-ed was rudimentary at best. STD's, how condoms work, how sex works and how people are made.

We literally spent one day on this in my health class. All we learned was that STDs exist and that they're bad. My teacher talked to us like we were kindergartners and could barely say the word sex without blushing profusely. Instead of going over this stuff properly she pulled up a website that taught us how to make heroin. I am not joking she literally did this. 

[vega57]

4 hours ago, HolyBonobos said:

 Again, the lessons were designed with the idea that everyone in the class was going to have sex at some point. Asexuality was not mentioned at all.

As I was reading your post, I had this same thought.  The underlying message was that sex is something that we're going to do.  It wasn't treated like a choice or an option, especially if we married.  If we married, it was something that we had to do, whether we wanted to or not.  Our feelings about it didn't matter.  Whether we wanted to do it, didn't matter.  Only our behavior mattered. 

 

Our feelings about our partner were the only thing that mattered, and they were to matter more to us than our feelings about ourselves.  If our partner wanted sex, we were to provide it to them. 

 

[Rhaenys]

I went to a government secondary school in the Caribbean. I got sex ed in Form One( we start secondary school at age 11 here.). It was from a nurse and they seperated the girls and the boys.

They told us about periods, pregnancy and how to prevent STIs. They obviously weren't gonna talk about homosexuality cause the region is quite homophobic muchless for asexuality.

[everywhere and nowhere]

On 7.10.2017 at 3:10 AM, Feys&Florets said:

Second time was going to a very, very conservative school. Separate boys and girls, and we had to memorize Bible passages of Ruth and this was the example every young lady should follow. No idea what the boys had to do, (likely something similar) but good sweet sanity, I hated that class. Oh yes, and of course, any variant under the LGBT rainbow was a terrible, tragic pull toward sin and must be resisted at all cost!!

And yet in that fragment from the Bible Ruth speaks these words to Noemi. This is one of passages used to proof that the Biblical stance on homosexuality isn't always outright condemnation.

I realize it isn't so easy because it still leaves quite a narrow door for any acceptance of same-sex relationships. For me this would happen to be enough since I don't want any genital contact with anyone, rather something that much later was called "romantic friendship". And yet... fortunately I don't have to fight for my right to avoid the "traditional model" (heterosexual marriage + sex + children), but I would be willing to avoid it even at the price of my life.

[skyfossil]

My last sex ed class was eight or nine years ago, I was about 13. It was mostly images of STIs/ contraceptive methods but we also had to list all the words for genitals we could think of (no idea why) and we were all taught how to put condoms on. There was definitely the assumption that everyone would have sex at some point in the future, even though the teacher was clearly trying to put us off - my school was in a town with one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the UK, so that might have been part of it. Nothing about asexuality or LGBTQ+ issues.

I spent the day confused, repulsed and embarrassed. I don't think I'd ever really thought about sex before that point, and I was freaked out by how much everyone else seemed to know, let alone the actual content of the class.

[Ace Of Cake29]

My last class was a year ago. A week's worth of classes covering the laws concerning it, a true or false quiz, the importance of consent, etc. I will not go into details, it bothered me a lot. It did not mention the deed; that was covered in primary school, year 5/6, and I've forgotten most of it. I remember the video and the talk afterwards. 

Of course, this was made worse by the fact that there were bullies in that class and people who I weren't comfortable around, so it was a fairly traumatic experience.

 

[WaywardDaughter]

I learned about pregnancy when I was 6 because my mom was pregnant with my little brother. We had this cool book with pictures taken inside the stomach. Then we started in 3rd grade, don't remeber much, but I know we were taught about pregnancy. Then we had it again in 6th grade and we were taught a bit more, like anatomy, and a bit about STDs and stuff like that. The girls had a talk with the nure about periods and different period products. 

In 8th grade we were taught about the usual, prenancy, different contraceptions, STDs, periods, how to put on condoms. We discussed heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality and transsexuality and transgender. That's what I remember from it. I remember I sucked at the test because I didn't know half the test and the A points were about HIV.... 

[biblios]

I went to a private Episcopalian school from 2009-2013. We had several years' worth of classes on reproduction, puberty, and sex ed, but amazingly, NONE of it was that great at telling me what I needed to know.

 

The reproduction class was basically just about what happens biologically--egg fertilizes sperm, etc. I remember, though, that they showed us a video of a woman giving birth in middle school and the whole class was horrified, haha. We also learned about STDs, but only in a scientific, microbiology way. Nothing about how to prevent or recognize them.

 

For the puberty talk, they split the class up into boys and girls and did separate lessons. I was in the girls' class. We basically just learned how to cope with periods.

 

Sex ed was a joke. Every time we had a lesson on it, it was almost all about abstinence and about the various situations where you'd have to say no to sex. One teacher used the dreaded simile of sex being "the icing on the cake of marriage," which was... memorable. But not that helpful. We also had to write essays about why we either agreed or disagreed with the view that you shouldn't have sex before marriage.

 

Never any mention of queer identities or asexuality. Never any mention of safe sex beyond condoms (and even then, we never even saw an actual condom or learned how to put one on). Etc.

[Warsaw]

Public School, WA, USA.

 

I was started in elementry school, classes segregated by gender given various diagrams of male and female genetalia, and memorising different parts and their functions, and told that soon, puberty will hit.  They were masturbation positive, saying that it wasn't morally wrong, and that it was perfectly normal.

 

Que up to Middle School, same class dynamics, still segregated by gender once again told about the male and female genetalia and their functions, except this time they informed us of safe sex use and it's actual effectiveness and the prevalance of STDs.

 

High School, once again basically same class I took in Elementry School, but this time far more in depth.  Watched video of a woman giving birth, teacher demonstrated condom use on various fruits and vegetables, again warned of STDs, told that we needent bow to peer pressure, but this time a large bowl of condoms was left out in the classroom and the nurses office free of charge.  Also told about homosexuality, and that due to higher risk factors, safe sex should ALWAYS (in caps) be used.

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

Goodness knows what they're teaching in my old school now....

[Tortuga]

On 10/3/2017 at 2:50 AM, WhimBerry said:

In my school, so Canadian public school, they told us about that sort of thing starting in like fifth grade. We were not split up into different groups, because "These are things that you all need to know". I knew about this before that because my mom told me when I was younger and I was apparently very interested from an anthropological standpoint of view. But also really disgusted.

They taught us about birth control and consent and healthy relationships and such, but never about anything but straight relationships, which lead to some very... Interesting misconceptions in my class.

It really depends on where you're from, in some places in the States, apparently it's a government requirement that they only talk about gay/lesbian relationships to warn people about HIV and AIDS which lead to a bunch of other problems... 

I'm in the States- they teach exactly how your Canadian public school does... All straight relationships.

[Tortuga]

On 11/3/2017 at 3:07 AM, vega57 said:

As I was reading your post, I had this same thought.  The underlying message was that sex is something that we're going to do.  It wasn't treated like a choice or an option, especially if we married.  If we married, it was something that we had to do, whether we wanted to or not.  Our feelings about it didn't matter.  Whether we wanted to do it, didn't matter.  Only our behavior mattered. 

 

Our feelings about our partner were the only thing that mattered, and they were to matter more to us than our feelings about ourselves.  If our partner wanted sex, we were to provide it to them. 

 

AARzgh exactly. WE ARE NOT SEX VENDING MACHINES!!!

[MrDane]

Sex Ed in school in Denmark, with me anyways, is about focus on more important things than telling about a specific minority group. First there is ‘the baby issue’. How to and how not to have babies or risk diseases or risk losing the baby. As a part of this is information about how the babies are made, grow and born. Then there is ‘the family issue’ about how different families function and what constitutes a family. As part of this is also awareness, that not all people are the same. We talk about the common needs, like being loved, getting fed, being seen... some people choose a different lifestyle than most people and that is okay as long as it doesnt hurt anyone. Then the ‘autonomy issue’ about the rigth to choose what you would like to be part of and also what your parents have the rigth to deide for you, until certain ages. Under this is also the important and always supposed to be present, rigth to say ‘no!’ Even when expectations, Peer pressure or statistics say otherwise. The ‘enjoyment issue’ is short but important. And can be boiled down to this: “it can feel nice to touch yourself and it is okay to do so. There is nothing wrong with it, but it is best kept in private” and “some grown-ups also like touching eachother in a sexual way. It is usually done in privacy and with the one they love, like husband/wife. Sometimes it is about the nice feeling about this very special hug, and if they dont want it to turn into a child-producing thing, then there a ways to avoid this, such as condoms”

we would during our talks/lessons get information about a few typical variation of sexuality. Mostly homosexuality. All of the above is from preschool and the first six years. After this it continues, but without me, and then more about special groups will be more a topic in cultural studies and could typically be LGBTQ+ Or about the sexual hype in media/movies ...Or in religion and be about non-christians. 

when talking about families, we usually talk about being close, friendship and showing love. 

Asexuality fits under the rigth to not want or say no.