Am I actually asexual?

[SexualityIsWierdMan]

Hi! This is a question I haven't ever asked anyone because it's borderline embarrassing and I can't stop thinking about how ridiculous it is, but I feel like if I don't get a solid answer about it from someone in a similar position as me, I won't ever be able to stop questioning my sexuality. 

So, here's some baisic exposition: I am a highschool aged teenager who has never experienced genuine romantic or sexual attraction. I've identified as asexual since the 8th grade and became open about it in the 9th grade. However, I sometimes feel a desire to have a romantic relationship, even if I've never felt that way towards anyone. I find myself questioning my friendships and trying to convince myself I have a crush on someone when I simply do not. 

This wouldn't be too bad for me if it weren't for a second fact: I feel romantic attraction (genuine romantic attraction) towards fictional characters. I think about them all the time, I have phases of crushing on them, I obsess over them and I picture me and that character having a healthy, romantic relationship. This is so confusing to me, and just to make it more confusing, the concept of sex with these characters is something I can't picture it without it being wierd and uncomfortable in some way. It's difficult for me to think about sex. I don't know if this is relevant or not, but the characters i fall for also tend to be humanoid, but not really human, if that makes sense. 

Am I asexual? Do I just need more time? Is it something about real people being real that puts me off? I just need answers. 

If it helps, I am on the autism spectrum. 

Thank you for reading this

[BionicPi]

5 minutes ago, SexualityIsWierdMan said:

Hi!

Hi! Welcome to AVEN!  

5 minutes ago, SexualityIsWierdMan said:

This is a question I haven't ever asked anyone because it's borderline embarrassing and I can't stop thinking about how ridiculous it is, but I feel like if I don't get a solid answer about it from someone in a similar position as me, I won't ever be able to stop questioning my sexuality. 

 

5 minutes ago, SexualityIsWierdMan said:

So, here's some baisic exposition: I am a highschool aged teenager who has never experienced genuine romantic or sexual attraction. I've identified as asexual since the 8th grade and became open about it in the 9th grade. However, I sometimes feel a desire to have a romantic relationship, even if I've never felt that way towards anyone. I find myself questioning my friendships and trying to convince myself I have a crush on someone when I simply do not. 

It sounds like you could be asexual and aromantic. I'd recommend looking at the FAQ (in Questions about Asexuality) and seeing if those fit you.

 

5 minutes ago, SexualityIsWierdMan said:

This wouldn't be too bad for me if it weren't for a second fact: I feel romantic attraction (genuine romantic attraction) towards fictional characters. I think about them all the time, I have phases of crushing on them, I obsess over them and I picture me and that character having a healthy, romantic relationship.

There's a word for this (aegoromantic maybe?) but I can't remember it. Hopefully someone else looking at this can help?

5 minutes ago, SexualityIsWierdMan said:

This is so confusing to me, and just to make it more confusing, the concept of sex with these characters is something I can't picture it without it being wierd and uncomfortable in some way. It's difficult for me to think about sex. I don't know if this is relevant or not, but the characters i fall for also tend to be humanoid, but not really human, if that makes sense. 

Sexual attraction and romantic attraction don't need to go hand in hand. You might be somewhat sex-repulsed?

 

5 minutes ago, SexualityIsWierdMan said:

Am I asexual? Do I just need more time? Is it something about real people being real that puts me off? I just need answers. 

If the label fits you! Take as much or as little time as you need. I'm not sure... Hopefully this gives you some.

5 minutes ago, SexualityIsWierdMan said:

Thank you for reading this

Of course!

[roland.o]

On 8/16/2017 at 5:19 AM, SexualityIsWierdMan said:

Am I asexual? Do I just need more time?

Maybe both? I wouldn't count attraction to fictional characters as an argument why you're not asexual. Especially if that attraction isn't sexual. I found this archived thread where one poster considers it a fetish: https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/84900-attraction-to-fictional-characters-asexual-or-grey-a/

 

But I assume you're also wondering about your romantic orientation. Alas, I'm not in a position to give you advice on that. While I'm not into fictional characters, I often got attached to real-life people that are way out of reach. I think that I do want a real-life relationship, but somehow... some doubt lingers.