Member119102 Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Hey everyone. I've just discovered this website and since I'm asexual, I thought I'd share some stuff with y'all. I'm a 19 year-old female, lots of guys are trying to chat me up and I'm told I'm good-looking. (Even though, to be honest, I know what pretty girls look like and would not consider myself to be one). It is weird to me that most guys say "you are too pretty to not have any interest in sex" kind of stuff to me. I find that mithering and downright foolish. But that's not what I want to talk about in this post. So..how do I even put this in words..or formulate it in a way that makes sense..Alright, I'll just be honest. Sex disgusts me, dirty jokes disgust me, sluttiness disgusts me (Yes, even if it's for the right guy), the idea of "rough" and "wild" love making disgusts me and many other things. Oh, and the oral sex..where do I even begin, just no. Before you guys judge me, I want couple things to be known. As I said above, I'm 19 years old but I've never had any type of physical contact with the opposite sex (I'm straight)..besides holding hands with my younger brother when we cross the street. Yes, not even a hug, nothing. I've never watched porn or masturbated. Not once. You can call me prudish and frigid but I honestly..I shall agree with you lol. Because I feel like I am very much prudish. I stay away from falling in love since I know how most guys (girls too but I'm straight) are and I frankly don't wanna cause anyone frustration. I can be a good friend though. But a lover?..not so much. The other day I was reading some articles about asexuality and I discovered a short story that..terrified me, to be honest. It was about a woman who betrayed her husband and became other man's whore. The way she described how she loved being a sex-starved slut and the way she begged her lover to "fuck her"..just made me go off my trolley. It was truly and honestly the most demeaning and disgusting thing I had ever read in my life. What bothers me the most is that I can't help feeling so utterly disgusted. And it's really bothering and kind of stressful. I want to know if there is any way I can stop myself from worrying and feeling grossed out. Now please, don't hit me with "it's fun, you should try it" bs, for goodness sake. If I want to have fun, I'll go listen to Beethoven or read Rabbie Burns lol. Anyway, there is so much more left to say..I just feel like I cannot organise my thoughts properly..If anyone takes time to read this post, I'll be very grateful. God bless you all. (No, I am not the way I am because I'm religious. My elder sisters are nothing like me and they're churchgoers as well). 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 . 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 7, 2017 Author Share Posted July 7, 2017 Thank you so much for your reply ^-^. Actually, gentle forms of physical contact do not disgust me at all. Like, hugging, holding hands etc. I guess it's normal for asexual people to love this type of affection, right?. I just cannot imagine myself engaging in anything sexual. I told my parents about this (my father is a priest actually) and he said that he knows about asexuality and that it's totally okay if I don't like sex. But he also suggested that I might change my mind once I marry someone I love and I might even have kids, though if I don't, that's okay too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 . 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 7, 2017 Author Share Posted July 7, 2017 My family is rather conservative but my dad does not have a problem with my asexuality as long as "I behave and study well, and stay respectful to other humans" (his words). I actually agree with you on the labeling bit. I always prefer to say "this is just how I am, no big deal", instead of claiming I identify as a bunch of stuff lol. No offense to those who do, but I'd rather keep it simple, as in "I'm a human.I'm a girl and I don't identify as anything". Aww, sorry to hear your family is like that. My family members would also like me to have kids and marry a decent guy but they have given up on trying to change my mind a long ago "Nope, this child of ours is way too stubborn" kinda thing XD 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 Goodness gracious! For all these years I've been told that the way I am is ''unnatural''..Thank god I'm not the only one! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 Lol true! It seems to me that a lot of people think sex is to be universally admired, prioritised and loved which is not true at all. Some people hate spiders, I hate dirty jokes! boom..whatever! xD Quote Link to post Share on other sites
InariYana Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 On 07/07/2017 at 3:16 PM, GodandMusic said: The other day I was reading some articles about asexuality and I discovered a short story that..terrified me, to be honest. It was about a woman who betrayed her husband and became other man's whore. The way she described how she loved being a sex-starved slut and the way she begged her lover to "fuck her"..just made me go off my trolley. It was truly and honestly the most demeaning and disgusting thing I had ever read in my life. I'm sex-neutral so I don't really experience much disgust (unless it's some types of porn ughh), but this kind of stories make me feel kinda happy that I NEVER feel like that. There is something demeaning about this (just how I feel about it) and although many sexual people fantasize about such "sex-desperate" situations that indicate some uncontrolled, wild desire and it's quite common, I couldn't even pretend to behave like that to please anybody. Hmmm... I could say I'm repulsed by this kind of sex, but not really by intercourse in general (without that degree of desperate tension) especially in romantic relationships. And I totally agree - oral sex (in any way, shape or form haha) is gross 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 24 minutes ago, InariYana said: I'm sex-neutral so I don't really experience much disgust (unless it's some types of porn ughh), but this kind of stories make me feel kinda happy that I NEVER feel like that. There is something demeaning about this (just how I feel about it) and although many sexual people fantasize about such "sex-desperate" situations that indicate some uncontrolled, wild desire and it's quite common, I couldn't even pretend to behave like that to please anybody. Hmmm... I could say I'm repulsed by this kind of sex, but not really by intercourse in general (without that degree of desperate tension) especially in romantic relationships. And I totally agree - oral sex (in any way, shape or form haha) is gross Bless your soul. You cannot imagine how long I've been thinking that I was the only one who found that kind of attitude demeaning and degrading.Also, calling the names to women during sex just...terrifies me, to be honest. It's just beyond my understanding abilities how women enjoy being called "a dirty little slut", "a whore" and a "fucktoy" by their partners. Maybe I'm close-minded for saying this, but then again, I could never be open-minded about this particular thing. Even if I tried my best, lol. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
InariYana Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 I can't even imagine myself being an actor on stage and saying to another actor "come here you filthy slut, are you hungry for my &%$£" I'd really struggle. In real life situations... if someone said that while in my bedroom, I'd be like "WTF did you just say?! I hate this kind of language". If they ever repeated the whole thing, they'd be out of my life in no time. It just does not feel good at all being called a whore... just NOPE. I don't know if women call their male partners in a similar way? "Come here you dirty man-whore, get on your knees, I'll show you who's boss here" hahahaha (sounds like something a dominatrix might say maybe). That's just... just NO THANK YOU. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 I'm a straight 19 year-old girl who has not even hugged a guy and thought people talked about phone vibration when uh..talking about a vibrator lol...and trust me, I'll get really mad if something slightly dirty is said about me..let alone, calling me a "fuckkitten"..what the hell is wrong with people willing to be degraded, abused and golden showered in the bedroom lol..Lord Jesus Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Marina Diamandis Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 I'm 18 and Don't worry I somewhat feel just like you. But I don't let it ruin my day. Do whatever keeps you emotionally healthy. It is okay to feel like this but just don't let it ruin your day or something like that. You're all good as long as you don't ruin someone's life like make them fall in love with you or lie to them you are sexual for many years just to keep the relationship. That is unfair please don't do that. Also Avoid such things that disgust you. If you can't since the world is obsessed with sex then you need to get used to it. Hopefully. I'm sorry if i sound rude.. All i am trying to say is don't cause harm to anyone or to yourself.. (like be in a relationship with a sexual person) In case you ever want to have relationship. Obviously it's not going to end well for both of you. I hope i helped.. Take care. <3 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 1 minute ago, Marina Diamandis said: I'm 18 and Don't worry I somewhat feel just like you. But I don't let it ruin my day. Do whatever keeps you emotionally healthy. It is okay to feel like this but just don't let it ruin your day or something like that. You're all good as long as you don't ruin someone's life like make them fall in love with you or lie to them you are sexual for many years just to keep the relationship. That is unfair please don't do that. Also Avoid such things that disgust you. If you can't since the world is obsessed with sex then you need to get used to it. Hopefully. I'm sorry if i sound rude.. All i am trying to say is don't cause harm to anyone or to yourself.. (like be in a relationship with a sexual person) In case you ever want to have relationship. Obviously it's not going to end well for both of you. I hope i helped.. Take care. <3 I had to end the relationship with my best friend because he confessed his feelings to me and was strongly attracted to me in a sexual way. The only compromise I could do was leave him because I did not want to be changed. Like I said, I'd never want to cause anyone frustration, moreover pretend to be something that I'm not. It feels unexpectedly nice to meet so many people who feel the same way as I do <3 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rtlloyd98 Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 On 07/07/2017 at 3:16 PM, GodandMusic said: Hey everyone. I've just discovered this website and since I'm asexual, I thought I'd share some stuff with y'all. I'm a 19 year-old female, lots of guys are trying to chat me up and I'm told I'm good-looking. (Even though, to be honest, I know what pretty girls look like and would not consider myself to be one). It is weird to me that most guys say "you are too pretty to not have any interest in sex" kind of stuff to me. I find that mithering and downright foolish. But that's not what I want to talk about in this post. So..how do I even put this in words..or formulate it in a way that makes sense..Alright, I'll just be honest. Sex disgusts me, dirty jokes disgust me, sluttiness disgusts me (Yes, even if it's for the right guy), the idea of "rough" and "wild" love making disgusts me and many other things. Oh, and the oral sex..where do I even begin, just no. Before you guys judge me, I want couple things to be known. As I said above, I'm 19 years old but I've never had any type of physical contact with the opposite sex (I'm straight)..besides holding hands with my younger brother when we cross the street. Yes, not even a hug, nothing. I've never watched porn or masturbated. Not once. You can call me prudish and frigid but I honestly..I shall agree with you lol. Because I feel like I am very much prudish. I stay away from falling in love since I know how most guys (girls too but I'm straight) are and I frankly don't wanna cause anyone frustration. I can be a good friend though. But a lover?..not so much. The other day I was reading some articles about asexuality and I discovered a short story that..terrified me, to be honest. It was about a woman who betrayed her husband and became other man's whore. The way she described how she loved being a sex-starved slut and the way she begged her lover to "fuck her"..just made me go off my trolley. It was truly and honestly the most demeaning and disgusting thing I had ever read in my life. What bothers me the most is that I can't help feeling so utterly disgusted. And it's really bothering and kind of stressful. I want to know if there is any way I can stop myself from worrying and feeling grossed out. Now please, don't hit me with "it's fun, you should try it" bs, for goodness sake. If I want to have fun, I'll go listen to Beethoven or read Rabbie Burns lol. Anyway, there is so much more left to say..I just feel like I cannot organise my thoughts properly..If anyone takes time to read this post, I'll be very grateful. God bless you all. (No, I am not the way I am because I'm religious. My elder sisters are nothing like me and they're churchgoers as well). I can definitely relate to this piece. The whole idea of going "down there" and playing disgusts me. I mean that's wear my piss comes out. Yuck! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 1 minute ago, rtlloyd98 said: I can definitely relate to this piece. The whole idea of going "down there" and playing disgusts me. I mean that's wear my piss comes out. Yuck! I'm happy that you found my post relatable :). Hearing this from a male is pleasantly rare ^-^ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Marina Diamandis Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 I'm sorry. I should have paid attention to what you said dear. I know how you feel. I am glad that you ended the friendship between both you. It was unfair for both of you. How unfortunate for him.. But it's okay you did it for the sake of both of you. He will find someone who will able to satisfy his needs. Dont worry. And Never change for anyone and sacrifice your happiness for someone else. It is not worth it.. IF they really care about you they will never ask you to change yourself for them for the sake of their own pleasure. Okay? I forgot to tell you. I'm not saying stop feeling hatred towards sex. I understand and know you can't help the way you feel. But please don't bash or shame people for having sex especially with the ones they truly love. Please understand me.. Thank you for the chat. <3 Take care and don't do anything that hurts you or anyone innocent. :') <3 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 Just now, Marina Diamandis said: I'm sorry. I should have paid attention to what you said dear. I know how you feel. I am glad that you ended the friendship between both you. It was unfair for both of you. How unfortunate for him.. But it's okay you did it for the sake of both of you. He will find someone who will able to satisfy his needs. Dont worry. And Never change for anyone and sacrifice your happiness for someone else. It is not worth it.. IF they really care about you they will never ask you to change yourself for them for the sake of their own pleasure. Okay? I forgot to tell you. I'm not saying stop feeling hatred towards sex. I understand and know you can't help the way you feel. But please don't bash or shame people for having sex especially with the ones they truly love. Please understand me.. Thank you for the chat. <3 Take care and don't do anything that hurts you or anyone innocent. :') <3 Can't help smiling as I read your reply because you are one of the sweetest people I've met in my life :). No need to be sorry whatsoever!. I agree with you, hating on people for they have sex is beyond foolish. Sex is a gift for married couples (I'm a Christian, but not gonna judge those who have sex before marriage, none of my business). To be honest, the idea of gentle love-making done respectfully and romantically does not repulse me at all, it's just something I would not do. You too take care and by the way you look very beautiful 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Marina Diamandis Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 31 minutes ago, GodandMusic said: Can't help smiling as I read your reply because you are one of the sweetest people I've met in my life :). No need to be sorry whatsoever!. I agree with you, hating on people for they have sex is beyond foolish. Sex is a gift for married couples (I'm a Christian, but not gonna judge those who have sex before marriage, none of my business). To be honest, the idea of gentle love-making done respectfully and romantically does not repulse me at all, it's just something I would not do. You too take care and by the way you look very beautiful Awwwww! You're reply has made my day! <3 Thank you. You're really sweet! And same same! I hate porn crap it makes wanna vomit but I find myself appreciate making gentle passionate beautiful innocent love between true loving couples. But I would rather want them to get a room XD I don't mind as well if people have sex outside or not of marriage as long as they are not causing harm to me ya know and everyone should have a free will without in a fear and loathing of being judged I am christian as well! Thank you so much! <3 I agree she is beautiful but that is not me in the picture. XD She is my favorite singer called "Marina and the diamonds" You look beautiful too on the inside as well. but I could barely see your face~ <3 There is no crime in being kind. And you're really a spot on at that! People these days don't ever stop to think that. :/ Sorry I'm kind of new to this website. Please don't laugh or cringe at my mistakes of use here. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 45 minutes ago, Marina Diamandis said: Haha, aren't you a total cutie pie? <3 Don't worry about mistakes or anything, if someone is to be laughed at it's only the technologically underdeveloped yours truly :P. Lol, I actually kind of hate taking pictures of myself (think it's a little narcissistic). I've heard of Marina and the diamonds but had no idea what she looked like hehe. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Marina Diamandis Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 aWWW >w< I'm flattered! <3 You're adorable! <3 That's right x3 And no wayyyyyyyy girl taking pictures of yourself isn't selfish act at all! it's like saying breathing oxygen is selfish. Owww come on naw seriously! So go ahead and spread that beauty of yours! :3 xD Ha ha now you know how she looks i think xD Thanks to me lol. She's a wonderful artist maybe look it up on youtube or google if you like. Her music is beautiful and kind of depressing in my opinion! c: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 2 hours ago, Marina Diamandis said: aWWW >w< I'm flattered! <3 You're adorable! <3 That's right x3 And no wayyyyyyyy girl taking pictures of yourself isn't selfish act at all! it's like saying breathing oxygen is selfish. Owww come on naw seriously! So go ahead and spread that beauty of yours! :3 xD Ha ha now you know how she looks i think xD Thanks to me lol. She's a wonderful artist maybe look it up on youtube or google if you like. Her music is beautiful and kind of depressing in my opinion! c: Gurrrl I too love depressing music lmao!! I seriously enjoy saddening songs simply because to me they have the most beautiful sounding :D..Explains why Chopin is my favourite composer hehe. Haha awe! Thank you x But I really kinda dislike taking pics, just not into it 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Marina Diamandis Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 Haha same I love sad songs. if you're not into taking pics then dont no one is forcing you. Do you believe in astrology? I certainly do! What is your zodiac sign? c: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Digs_Dead_People Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 Oral is absolutely horrendous to me even more so than other types of sex. I'm generally disgusted by sex and engaging in sex. However, I read the hell out of yaoi and also write the hell out of it, too, but it's likely different because it's not real life. Anyway, you're not the only one disgusted by sex or sexual situations. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 10 minutes ago, Marina Diamandis said: Haha same I love sad songs. if you're not into taking pics then dont no one is forcing you. Do you believe in astrology? I certainly do! What is your zodiac sign? c: I think astrology is fun! And I'm a taurus with lots of planets in aries and my ascendant is sagittarius 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Marina Diamandis Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 Wow! Those signs are strong and confident! I am a pisces and a virgo rising and I have aries planets too in my chart What is your full chart? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 3 minutes ago, Marina Diamandis said: Wow! Those signs are strong and confident! I am a pisces and a virgo rising and I have aries planets too in my chart What is your full chart? Aww, my sis is a pisces with a virgo rising!! You know cutie, I don't really remember my full chart but I believe I have moon, mercury, venus and mars in aries, rising sag, and other planets mostly in aquarius 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Marina Diamandis Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 Awwwww! We must be like twins or something. That's cute I love aries because they are strong ya know? I think you can be my protector lol! I'm a helpless little sardine. And I think aries are kind of hot headed woah! I wouldn't get in your way. O.O And oh my gosh I have my venus in aries too! as well as my jupiter! c:I love having them. Is your sister like you though or different? I'm curious if she's like me or not XD 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member119102 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 3 minutes ago, Marina Diamandis said: Awwwww! We must be like twins or something. That's cute I love aries because they are strong ya know? I think you can be my protector lol! I'm a helpless little sardine. And I think aries are kind of hot headed woah! I wouldn't get in your way. O.O And oh my gosh I have my venus in aries too! as well as my jupiter! c:I love having them. Is your sister like you though or different? I'm curious if she's like me or not XD Well miss adorbs, I'm afraid you are right :p. I'm super short-tempered and get mad in a split second lmao!! But yeah, I'll protect you no matter what hehe..unless we see a bug or something in which case I'll start screaming as if I'm being stabbed in the neck lol..My sis is a year older, and totally different from me. She's calm, does not talk much, but gets very emotional over anime and some singers -.- lol 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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