queen2d4 Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 So I am a 15 year old girl and I identify as demi-romantic asexual . . I think. As I am quite young and am pretty introverted, I have never viewed many people as potential romantic and definitely not sexual partners. Looking back at my younger years, like seven and eight, I noticed that whenever I had a 'crush' on a boy in my class it was more so to say I had a crush rather than actually liking the person. A year or so ago I began questioning whether or not I was asexual considering that I have much less desire to get a boyfriend or any romantic partner like all my school friends (I go to an all-girls catholic school) but I'm constantly wondering whether I'm really just straight and haven't spent enough time with guys to know if I'm attracted to them (again, all-girls catholic school). At the current moment, I believe I am asexual but am unsure about telling others in case they try to claim that I just haven't found the right person or am being dramatic. What do you think? If I think I am asexual, is that enough for me to say I am? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 I am so surprised, impressed, and happy when someone so young gets things at least partially figured out. I may not be the best person to ask about this but im going to give it a shot. I dont think you have to have relationship to know if you are asexual. So if you feel that the idea of sex is not importatnt or not something you want in your life then you are an asexual. So keep your ears peeled for the others who will respond everyone has great advice and everyone cares so have some cake, sit back and get ready have a great time kiddo! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sweetbitter Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 High five! I also realized I was ace at the age of 15. I thought that maybe I was too young to know, but so far nothing has changed - I have no interest in sex. I'm also really introverted and don't have much male mates. But I bet you have had a few chances to feel attraction - if you don't feel anything positive looking for example at pictures of guys with great abs - yeah, there is a chance you are ace. The truth is, it may change with time, no matter what is your age. Or maybe you're gray or demi sexual? You are the one who can decide who you identify as. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LettACE Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 OMG YES TO THE CRUSH THING!! I used to pretend to like my guy friends because that's how i thought i was supposed to act around them, but i the entire time i was scared they would leave cause i was being weird. As for your asexuality, it sounds like you've found something to describe yourself. I say that if you feel like you resonate with being ace then great! and if someday along the road you find out that maybe you arent or you dont identify as strongly, then thats fine too. But if you feel that Ace is the term that best fits you in this moment then i say go ahead! Only you know you Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The little ace one Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 Welcome! I'm only 16 and found out about 6 months ago that I was ace. I was also confused, and I didn't know if I could actually identify as asexual because what is sexual attraction and how could I really know if I was ace or not? I actually just read a lot here omg AVEN and with a lot of good explanations of how sexual attraction feels and other advice I eventually figured that I must be ace. I would recommend just read a lot, and eventually you'll stumble across something that assures you 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rhyme Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 If you say you're ace, then you're ace. It really is as simple as that. The word asexual only has meaning because we give it meaning. The sad reality is that there will always be someone who think that everyone on this entire site is going through some sort of phase. I hope you encounter as few of these people as possible, just know that you're the only one who knows how you feel. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Greenstar55 Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 i was around `14/15 when i realised i was asexual and its completely valid, you don't have to tell your friends, i didnt till just last year and even then i told 2, only you can say what you identify as Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JewelDerpYee Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 Wow, I'm in the exact same situation as you.... except I'm not as accepting about it. Don't get me wrong, I think it's completely fine to be ace, and you can like whoever you want, but here's the thing with me... I grew up having everyone around me (thx mom) telling me that when I get older, I'll get these things called "hormones" and that I'll think I've found the love of my life, or at least get butterflies when I see them.... That never happened for me, or at least, it hasn't so far in my life. I've always been open to the possibility that I might have ended up liking girls instead of guys, or maybe even both... but I just don't know how to handle this one... Love is such a big part in our society. Loving someone like that is meant to be the best feeling in the world to so many people... So my question is this: is it normal to be upset about my possible asexuality/aromantic-ness...? Honestly... I'm only upset about it because if I really am asexual, does that mean I'll never feel that feeling of romance and desire and romantic love? Does that mean I'll never know the feeling that most of our society worships? Does that mean I'll never feel that sort of connection with someone other than friends and family? That's really what I've been struggling with..... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JacketsOn Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 1 hour ago, JewelDerpYee said: Wow, I'm in the exact same situation as you.... except I'm not as accepting about it. Don't get me wrong, I think it's completely fine to be ace, and you can like whoever you want, but here's the thing with me... I grew up having everyone around me (thx mom) telling me that when I get older, I'll get these things called "hormones" and that I'll think I've found the love of my life, or at least get butterflies when I see them.... That never happened for me, or at least, it hasn't so far in my life. I've always been open to the possibility that I might have ended up liking girls instead of guys, or maybe even both... but I just don't know how to handle this one... Love is such a big part in our society. Loving someone like that is meant to be the best feeling in the world to so many people... So my question is this: is it normal to be upset about my possible asexuality/aromantic-ness...? Honestly... I'm only upset about it because if I really am asexual, does that mean I'll never feel that feeling of romance and desire and romantic love? Does that mean I'll never know the feeling that most of our society worships? Does that mean I'll never feel that sort of connection with someone other than friends and family? That's really what I've been struggling with..... This is very much how I feel, although it is possible to be asexual but romantic. I'm just scared I'll never know what romantic love really is. (I currently identify as heterosexual/romantic, but suspect I might be grey-a aro at the least) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Questionable_Smiley Posted July 2, 2019 Share Posted July 2, 2019 Hi, so I’m 15, names Alyssa. I am seeking advice. I think I’m asexual. So when I think of sex I thinks it’s gross and disgusting and I’ve said this outloud to friends and they go, “oh just wait until you’re in a relationship/find the right one” but I don’t think I will. I’ve talked to my mom about this and she said, “don’t lable yourself.” I’ve had crushes and when I’m with them I’m like I want to date you. But when I think of dating, cuddling, and spooning I don’t think anything sexual. You can cuddle with a friend and it not mean anything besides that you’re friends. I’ve wanted to kiss people or like touch their abs(if they have any) (possibly kick them and go Kate Argent) But then on second thought I don’t want to kiss them or lick them. Still want to feel the abs cause those are cool. ive only had the urge to kiss two people (both genders) and immediately didn’t want too anymore. When I think of the future and doing.... that. I think STOP THATS GROSSS!!! If you want a baby that badly adopt a baby or like get a doctor to do the thing where you’re pregnant with no sex. ive taken test and they’ve said Asxual (one said 55% but then what about the other 45...?) sorry for the long comment. Am I Asexual? Too young? Confused? Being my usual hypochondriac self? If I am being hypochondriac then why does it feel different? Is it possible to be like bisexually asexual (cause sometime girls be cute but I prefer nonboobies). Why can’t I just sexually identify as a cactus and be done with it? ~deeply confusing Alyssa. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AsexuEl123 Posted July 2, 2019 Share Posted July 2, 2019 Haha I agree. I wish I could just identify as a cake. It is totally possible to be a biromantic asexual. I myself am a young demi-panromantic asexual and have had the same questions. Am I too young? Confused? The answer is no you are not too young. I know people younger who identify as ace. And sexuality is confusing, so I hate to break it to you, but we are always confused. The only way to be sure is to explore yourself. Does the idea of being ace feel right? Are my actions different from the way others act? From what you've said, I think you may be asexual, but don't listen to me. Trust your gut. Only you can identify your yourself. Hope this helped. Feel free to talk to me anytime! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AsexuEl123 Posted July 2, 2019 Share Posted July 2, 2019 Just now, AsexuEl123 said: Haha I agree. I wish I could just identify as a cake. It is totally possible to be a biromantic asexual. I myself am a young demi-panromantic asexual and have had the same questions. Am I too young? Confused? The answer is no you are not too young. I know people younger who identify as ace. And sexuality is confusing, so I hate to break it to you, but we are always confused. The only way to be sure is to explore yourself. Does the idea of being ace feel right? Are my actions different from the way others act? From what you've said, I think you may be asexual, but don't listen to me. Trust your gut. Only you can identify your yourself. Hope this helped. Feel free to talk to me anytime! 57 minutes ago, Questionable_Smiley said: Hi, so I’m 15, names Alyssa. I am seeking advice. I think I’m asexual. So when I think of sex I thinks it’s gross and disgusting and I’ve said this outloud to friends and they go, “oh just wait until you’re in a relationship/find the right one” but I don’t think I will. I’ve talked to my mom about this and she said, “don’t lable yourself.” I’ve had crushes and when I’m with them I’m like I want to date you. But when I think of dating, cuddling, and spooning I don’t think anything sexual. You can cuddle with a friend and it not mean anything besides that you’re friends. I’ve wanted to kiss people or like touch their abs(if they have any) (possibly kick them and go Kate Argent) But then on second thought I don’t want to kiss them or lick them. Still want to feel the abs cause those are cool. ive only had the urge to kiss two people (both genders) and immediately didn’t want too anymore. When I think of the future and doing.... that. I think STOP THATS GROSSS!!! If you want a baby that badly adopt a baby or like get a doctor to do the thing where you’re pregnant with no sex. ive taken test and they’ve said Asxual (one said 55% but then what about the other 45...?) sorry for the long comment. Am I Asexual? Too young? Confused? Being my usual hypochondriac self? If I am being hypochondriac then why does it feel different? Is it possible to be like bisexually asexual (cause sometime girls be cute but I prefer nonboobies). Why can’t I just sexually identify as a cactus and be done with it? ~deeply confusing Alyssa. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted July 2, 2019 Share Posted July 2, 2019 I don't think labels matter. You know what you feel *now*. It may or may not change later - if it does you can change your actions. There is no need to commit to the future. If people want to know you can let them know your current feelings. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Theresa34 Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 On 7/2/2019 at 3:30 AM, Questionable_Smiley said: So when I think of sex I thinks it’s gross and disgusting and I’ve said this outloud to friends and they go, “oh just wait until you’re in a relationship/find the right one” but I don’t think I will. I’ve talked to my mom about this and she said, “don’t label yourself.” I’ve had crushes and when I’m with them I’m like I want to date you. But when I think of dating, cuddling, and spooning I don’t think anything sexual. I'm probably not the best person to be giving advice because I'm also confused but I'm pretty sure if you think sex is gross and have no sexual thoughts about crushes, you are sex-negative and asexual. Again, I'm not certain and if you want, you could follow your mom's advice and just not use labels. However, labels are kind of comforting and if you want to identify as asexual then go ahead. What you are describing in the last sentence seems to be sensual/romantic attraction but no sexual attraction so this would indicate that you are romantic and asexual. Having said that, nobody here can tell you what you are or what to identify as so just do whatever you feel most comfortable with Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Comrade Kitty Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 I'm 13 and identify as asexual, so no you're not too young in my opinion. I feel that sexuality is fluid, so if my feelings change in the future, so be it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.