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butterflydreams

a gender positive thread

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butterflydreams

A coworker told me I have good style today and that I always looked classy and nice.

 

Also, I've been more confident about my voice lately, and I don't know why. Just feeling confident that it's not outing me. The confidence I think shows through and makes me pass better.

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Mezzo Forte

My doc gave me the green light to resume my T shots, so here's another shot song!

 

 

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Kimmie.
On 2017-12-05 at 2:12 AM, butterflydreams said:

A coworker told me I have good style today and that I always looked classy and nice.

 

Also, I've been more confident about my voice lately, and I don't know why. Just feeling confident that it's not outing me. The confidence I think shows through and makes me pass better.

That makes me so happy to hear.

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butterflydreams

And it looks like it already paid off!

 

I made a phone call today to a help desk and spoke to someone. They’d never met me before, and other than my name had nothing to go on. Usually my name isn’t inherently feminine enough to gender me, especially if my voice “disagrees”. 

 

So I’m on the phone, feeling ok about my voice, but not 100%. I do ok on the phone, not great. But a little while after the call, I got a follow up email addressed to Ms. <Last name>. OMG! :o

 

Edit: I’m on a roll!

Just met up with a contractor for something at work and when we were done he said, “well, thank you very much young lady.”

 

Woo hoo!!!

Edited by butterflydreams

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Starbogen

I look really cute today ^^

I got a new hoodie that's bit more my size and it looks pretty cool, and button downs plus shorts are always great. I need a haircut but I can appreciate my messy curly hair for a few more days.

 

Also, the other day we had to do a bit of role playing in one of my classes and I was the only guy in my group so everyone immediately went like "and you'll obviously be the husband". Which was awesomly validating because none of those girls knew me but I definitely come across as a guy, but it was also terrifying because I'm a terrible actor.. So I suggested that our thing could be presented with a lesbian couple instead XD

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butterflydreams

Well, my good times streak ended rather quickly today. A coworker who doesn’t know me well slung like 5 “he”s in a row at me. UGH! If I hadn’t been standing doing a presentation I would’ve been like, dude, you know I’m a woman, right?! Like, I don’t even know anymore. I’m just exasperated. 

 

Then what I was afraid of happening at my new job finally happened. So it looks like I’m going to have to come out to my boss, even though I’m sure she already knows.

 

There was some big wig from the state here today too, and my main boss introduced me to him as “her”. Thank god. 

 

So I don’t know. It’s tough out there. I’m still fighting.

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Kimmie.

@butterflydreams you are so strong, i mean you have to be, to still be standing up after all you have been going through.

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Emery.

So far so good. No dysphoria(?)(this is how I call this strange generalised discomfort I used to experience). Wow. 

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Groovy Teacakes

Yaaay haircut!!! I hadn't realised how much I missed having properly short hair and I just feel awesome and gender euphoria and eeeeeee!  Doesn't quite balance out being constantly misgendered by EVERYONE at home (it's nothing malicious, I'm just too chicken to come out to them and keep hoping they'll figure it out by themselves even though I know they won't and that I should really just tell them). It's better than before I went away to uni though because I know when I go back next term I'll be surrounded by people who correctly gender me and that's awesome.

Also I think I might finally (finally finally) be confident enough with money and the internet to order a proper binder which is a big deal because money scares me a bit and also I've wanted to get one for nearly two years so that'll be really exciting!

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Kimmie.

I have realized that I have started to lose weight. I don't really know how. I eat less I guess?  Anyway it makes me look somewhat more feminine when I am for lack of better words is doing that.  I mean less belly to hide to create a waist. 

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daveb

That's great, @Kimmie.! (I think I know where the weight is going. I seem to be gaining weight and can't stop).

 

But this is a positive thread so I will say I think I can still look good. New sweater dress. :D

Spoiler

25120640258_3b50910ccd_c.jpg

 

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TheAngel(of)Peace

@daveb Nice! I like your style, with the pleated skirt and boots.

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daveb

The skirt and top are combined/stitched together into a single dress. And the sleeves are long enough! :) 

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butterflydreams

Holy shit @daveb, that dress is adorable! And it looks great on you!

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daveb
17 minutes ago, butterflydreams said:

Holy shit @daveb, that dress is adorable! And it looks great on you!

aw, shucks. Thanks! :D 

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Kimmie.
7 hours ago, daveb said:

That's great, @Kimmie.! (I think I know where the weight is going. I seem to be gaining weight and can't stop).

 

But this is a positive thread so I will say I think I can still look good. New sweater dress. :D

  Reveal hidden contents

25120640258_3b50910ccd_c.jpg

 

You look absolutely amazing!! 

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ChillaKilla

My shoulders are HUGE nowadays :D 

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
On 12/11/2017 at 4:57 PM, daveb said:

That's great, @Kimmie.! (I think I know where the weight is going. I seem to be gaining weight and can't stop).

 

But this is a positive thread so I will say I think I can still look good. New sweater dress. :D

  Reveal hidden contents

25120640258_3b50910ccd_c.jpg

 

You look great! I like the new sweater dress! Nice boots,too!👌👍

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ChillaKilla

Building my surgeon names list!

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Finn.

I forgot to post about it yesterday. But I was wearing my new black-and-white flannel and I looked really flat in it with only a sports bra. I was so confident all day, I felt quite handsome and pretty.

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Tortuga
On 12/11/2017 at 12:57 PM, daveb said:

That's great, @Kimmie.! (I think I know where the weight is going. I seem to be gaining weight and can't stop).

 

But this is a positive thread so I will say I think I can still look good. New sweater dress. :D

  Reveal hidden contents

25120640258_3b50910ccd_c.jpg

 

Wow, daveb, u look like an 8th grade social studies teacher I know *weird coincidence, amirite?*

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daveb
1 minute ago, Tortuga said:

Wow, daveb, u look like an 8th grade social studies teacher I know *weird coincidence, amirite?*

She must have great taste! :D:lol: 

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Tortuga

yeah she does, oh, and I love the boots!

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Lirpaderp
1 hour ago, Tortuga said:

Wow, daveb, u look like an 8th grade social studies teacher I know *weird coincidence, amirite?*

My 8th grade social studies teacher was the best history teacher I've ever had. She made me not hate the subject too. I have high respect for anyone able to teach 8th graders, my class was a nightmare.

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All the little Lights🎆

In the window reflection, it looked like I had a flat chest. So cool:wub:

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Rynar

I still remember that day when my math teacher was counting girls and guys in class for an math problem example. It still makes me smile.

After 3 attemps, she still didn't know why she miscounted and assumed she didn't count herself in.

There were only 3 guys but she counted 4 instead and 1 girl less every time.

 

Or during a workshop at school, an old lady was the instructor and she patted my back saying:

"C'mon boy, you should actively participate!"

however, the good mood became awkward as soon as people started wispering "but that's a girl...." and stared weirdly at me for not correcting.... 

The old lady didn't hear it I think because she didn't apologise or something like that.

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butterflydreams

Here's a different kind of positive moment. I was lamenting to my friend today how I had to be careful with dating guys because chasers are a thing. I explained that these guys basically just saw you as a woman (barely) with a penis and nothing else. Or a gay sex experience without the stigma. She agreed, but asserted that cis women might face something similar, of just being a person with a vagina, and nothing else. I imagine cis men could feel the same way too.

 

She's very good at making my "trans specific" issues seem less so. It's comforting in a way to know that neither I nor my experience are all that different.

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Starbogen
31 minutes ago, butterflydreams said:

Here's a different kind of positive moment. I was lamenting to my friend today how I had to be careful with dating guys because chasers are a thing. I explained that these guys basically just saw you as a woman (barely) with a penis and nothing else. Or a gay sex experience without the stigma. She agreed, but asserted that cis women might face something similar, of just being a person with a vagina, and nothing else. I imagine cis men could feel the same way too.

 

She's very good at making my "trans specific" issues seem less so. It's comforting in a way to know that neither I nor my experience are all that different.

Yeah I saw a trans guy once talking about how even the experience of body dysphoria isn't really exclusive to trans people because most people have something they're uncomfortable with about their body in a way that relates to their gender. Cis women also feel bad about their chest maybe being too flat or stuff like that, cis men also feel bad about being too short or having high pitched voices. 

I know it's not quite the same as what you were talking about but realizing that there's always cis people who feel some of the same things I do even if it's in a different context does make me feel better. And in a way it also feels like confirmation that I am a man if that makes sense.

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Calligraphette_Coe
1 hour ago, butterflydreams said:

Here's a different kind of positive moment. I was lamenting to my friend today how I had to be careful with dating guys because chasers are a thing. I explained that these guys basically just saw you as a woman (barely) with a penis and nothing else. Or a gay sex experience without the stigma. She agreed, but asserted that cis women might face something similar, of just being a person with a vagina, and nothing else. I imagine cis men could feel the same way too.

 

She's very good at making my "trans specific" issues seem less so. It's comforting in a way to know that neither I nor my experience are all that different.

Well, it's a lot more like 'bee and flower' than 'penis and vagina'. Sexual attraction moderated by gender energy. And sometimes you have to settle for Anais Nin when you were hoping for Romeo and juliet.

 

The males may run the show, but as a woman, you decide whose ticket gets punched. Yin and Yang. It's really that simple and that maddingly complex. And the cis people don't have it all figured out, either.

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ChillaKilla

I grew a bit over an inch :’) I thought it was all over for me but apparently not. I’m so relieved, I’m not cursed with 5’7.5” sub-average height!

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