Picking Eating in Japan (Advice?)

[Truth and Lies]

Hello, my fellow AVENites. ^_^

I am planning on taking a study abroad trip to Hakodate, Hokkaido in Japan for two months in the summer of 2017. (Whether or not I can manage to find a job will influence my ability to go through with these plans.) During the program, I will be under the care of two homestay families for a month each. More than being in a foreign county with a foreign language, more than monetary worries and the like, there is one thing I am most concerned with:

My eating habits.

Or rather, trying not to insult people with my eating habits.

The foods I will eat are few and far between. Less than thirty items, I believe, and most of them are processed foods and not a part of Japanese cooking and cuisine. I do not eat meat or fish, the only fruits I eat are apples, and the only I vegetables I eat are raw carrots and corn. I do have a particular love for Japanese rice. It is my staple. Aside from that, though, I do not see myself being able to eat much traditional food. The homestay family will be providing two meals each day, I believe, and I am concerned that I am just going to utterly insult them with my eating habits.

It is rude to go into a person’s house, be a guest, and have a cooked meal set out before you, and not be able to eat what they have prepared for you. I know this. I have been in this situation before with friends’ families. More than once, my eating habits have been a source of tension with my friends and their families. There is a reason (aside from a lack of nearby friends) that I refuse to eat over at anyone’s house nowadays.

I am not sure how I could go about… not offending them. I do not know if I could contact them beforehand, or have one of the program staff contact them, and let them know that I will not eat much, or just take out the provided meals from my own itinerary.

If anyone has been to Japan, or if any folks from Japan could give me advice on this subject, or if there's anyone willing to give their two cents, it would be greatly appreciated.

As an extra note: no, I cannot force myself to eat something. Both the taste and texture have to be acceptable for me to be able to just swallow something. Many textures makes me gag. Even long-grained rice is difficult for me to swallow because of the texture. I will sooner go hungry than try to eat something I know I will gag on (and in some cases nearly throw up).

For an example: there’s this one yogurt, I think the flavor is boysenberry. I love the taste. It is divine. But the bits of puree in the yogurt make me gag on it. I used to try and force myself to eat it, but I had to stop because I would continue coughing it all up and it was a very unpleasant experience.

So, yeah... thank you in advance from this picky eater. My apologies if this is in the wrong place.

[SorryNotSorry]

Probably the best approach is to tell your hosts ASAP that there are a bunch of things you can't eat for health reasons (allergies, celiac, etc)... fake it.

BTW how easy/difficult is it to find birthday cake in Japan?

[Midnight Star]

I have studied abroad in Japan. It was amazing :) I went to Tokyo, Kyoto, Rikuzentakata, etc.

I had a homestay for 1 week out of my month their. I communicated by email with my host family before going and within that communication food was brought up. I have celiac, which is a gluten allergy. I simply told them that within the email and when I got there, the meals the host mom cooked not only accommodated my allergy, but they were amazing! I was without her most of the trip though, so I basically lived on onigiri, boss coffee, ichigo gyunyu, etc. Rice and meat got me a long way too. And you will ALWAYS be able to get your hands on some rice :D

In your case it sounds like there is a lot that you can't eat, so just tell them what you CAN eat. Only the shittiest people would be offended by you having health reasons for not eating a lot of different kinds of food.

Also don't worry about offending people in Japan. Any smart Japanese person know you are foreign, and doesn't expect you to nail every part of Japanese culture perfectly. Of course try as hard as you can though. When in rome, after all :lol:

Also even if you offend a Japanese person, you probably wouldn't know it.

Any other questions?

[Truth and Lies]

Probably the best approach is to tell your hosts ASAP that there are a bunch of things you can't eat for health reasons (allergies, celiac, etc)... fake it.

BTW how easy/difficult is it to find birthday cake in Japan?

I would prefer not to lie to my caretakers. ^^; I'd probably botch it up anyways and forget what I said I supposedly allergic to or something. But thank you. Definitely, as soon as I can, I will tell them about my eating habits. I suppose saying I'm a vegetarian would be a starter.

I have studied abroad in Japan. It was amazing :) I went to Tokyo, Kyoto, Rikuzentakata, etc.

I had a homestay for 1 week out of my month their. I communicated by email with my host family before going and within that communication food was brought up. I have celiac, which is a gluten allergy. I simply told them that within the email and when I got there, the meals the host mom cooked not only accommodated my allergy, but they were amazing! I was without her most of the trip though, so I basically lived on onigiri, boss coffee, ichigo gyunyu, etc. Rice and meat got me a long way too. And you will ALWAYS be able to get your hands on some rice :D

In your case it sounds like there is a lot that you can't eat, so just tell them what you CAN eat. Only the shittiest people would be offended by you having health reasons for not eating a lot of different kinds of food.

Also don't worry about offending people in Japan. Any smart Japanese person know you are foreign, and doesn't expect you to nail every part of Japanese culture perfectly. Of course try as hard as you can though. When in rome, after all :lol:

Also even if you offend a Japanese person, you probably wouldn't know it.

Any other questions?

That sounds awesome. :D Tokyo and Kyoto are definitely the two major areas for study abroad programs, but large cities terrify me, so I found something more suited to my tastes. xD What did you enjoy most about your trip?

If it was for health reasons, it would be a lot easier to explain my lack of food variety. But it's not. ^^; I'm trying to think of what I eat that would be available there. Rice, raw carrots, bread, apples... gosh, without mentioning all my American processed snack foods, I really eat so little. I mean, at the same time, I have a small stomach, so one bowl of rice fills me up. Hrm.

Here's two questions: are there plain onigiri sold, with no fillings? Also, did you eat those onigiri at room temperature/cool? I've never tried eating not-warm rice.

Thank you both. ^_^ ...Now I'm really in the mood for some rice. XD

[UraNepu]

Well most important is to inform them about your issue.

If it is because of being vegetarian, or health issue, or even the gagging problem you mentioned, what you can do is to write to your host family about your eating issue, that it won't be necessary for them to provide you with food, because of those issues, and properly apologize for the inconvenience.

If you can cook, then you may ask them if they could possibly allow you to use their equipment to cook what you buy yourself. (remember always that you are their guest and not owning their stuff, so always ask permission to use something)

if cooking is not your thing and you just take out, then all cool.

No matter what, inform them before you ever land in their house. Because as hosts they might have make plans, and cook you stuff to welcome you etc. And it would be rude to simply ya know not accept their hospitality.

Maybe while in Japan you can try foods that include things you already eat, and find tastes and textures that you might like :)

[Nylocke]

Good luck, I heard its pretty hard to roll vegetarian/vegan in Japan :P

[Truth and Lies]

Well most important is to inform them about your issue.

If it is because of being vegetarian, or health issue, or even the gagging problem you mentioned, what you can do is to write to your host family about your eating issue, that it won't be necessary for them to provide you with food, because of those issues, and properly apologize for the inconvenience.

If you can cook, then you may ask them if they could possibly allow you to use their equipment to cook what you buy yourself. (remember always that you are their guest and not owning their stuff, so always ask permission to use something)

if cooking is not your thing and you just take out, then all cool.

No matter what, inform them before you ever land in their house. Because as hosts they might have make plans, and cook you stuff to welcome you etc. And it would be rude to simply ya know not accept their hospitality.

Maybe while in Japan you can try foods that include things you already eat, and find tastes and textures that you might like :)

Thank you. I'll probably end up doing takeout. ^^; Not much I could see myself cooking. I will definitely try to inform them quickly. That's one of the things I keep imagining: getting to the house and having a splendid welcoming meal spread out on the table and being able eat none of it.

I do want to maybe attempt trying stuff over there... but I don't see myself trying much, really. Japanese food be strange. o_o Food be strange.

Good luck, I heard its pretty hard to roll vegetarian/vegan in Japan :P

Yeah, I believe I've heard that as well. xD; Especially with fish and meat being used in a lot of their cuisine. Oof.

[Bero]

Okay, reality check, and I say this because I've been in that situation... if you go, you're in for a really rough time, buddy. :/

As someone who's a somewhat picky eater (e.g. no seafood) and not a huge fan of Japanese cuisine, I always have a hard time with food when I go to Japan. And that's even in places like Tokyo, where it's pretty easy to get American brands of food. I imagine you're not going to have as much luck with a host family out in a small city in Hokkaido.

My primary, sincere advice is: Please don't assume you can be accommodated, and please don't think you can get by subsisting off of rice. Been there, done that. It will make you feel horrible.

As others said, it's a good idea to communicate your dietary needs ahead of time if possible so that the host family can prepare. Hopefully they speak enough English, or someone will translate the message, though, because Lord knows I have a hard enough time getting people to understand I really don't eat any seafood, and I actually speak Japanese! (And, yes, they probably won't say it to you, but they will definitely be upset if you don't eat food they've prepared. Wasting food is a huge no-no, and they won't be happy at the inconvenience of having to majorly change their diet to accommodate you if you won't even try their food in return.)

You might get lucky. You might get a host family used to foreigners that is able and willing to get you the food that you want. But that would be a nasty surprise for you to arrive there and find out they can't.

Honestly, the best thing you can do is prepare yourself. Start expanding the types of foods you can eat now, slowly, with foods similar to the ones you already like. Every additional food you can eat gives you a better chance not to starve when your options are limited. You could research things to try in Japan, too! It'll make things go smoother with your host family if--instead of just refusing their food outright--you can say, "Sorry, I can't eat octopus, but I'd like to try okonomiyaki!" It'll make them happy to be able to share some of their food culture with you that you would enjoy.

Whenever I go to Japan, I set two rules for myself: 1) If I am given food, I have to take at least one bite. 2) If something enters my mouth, it must be swallowed. I have ended up swallowing some things I consider pretty disgusting that way, but I didn't die, and it goes a long way to at least show you're trying.

I hope you do get the chance to go to Japan, because it is a great place, but please do recognize what you'll realistically be getting yourself into. Don't set yourself up to be starving and miserable for two months. Trust me, it's not worth it. ^^;

[Yatogami]

Fair tip, you cannot custom order in Japan. It is offensive.

Fake allergies or get used to boxed food, or prepare your own.

[Truth and Lies]

Bero, thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it.

I don't think it would be... possible for them to prepare. I wouldn't know how to prepare for me. This is a list of literally everything I consume that I can think of, whether regularly or on rare occasion, minus drinks and desserts (probably should have put this in initial post):

1. Eggo Homestyle waffles
2. tater tots/hashbrowns
3. French fries
4. buttermilk pancakes
5. cereals
6. apples
7. raw carrots
8. corn off the cob
9. raw almonds
10. sunflower kearnels
11. snack foods – pretzels, veggy fries, goldfish, cheez-its, poptarts (not toasted), and the like
12. bread
13. buttermilk biscuits
14. chewy bars
15. nutrigrain bars
16. cheese pizza, light sauce
17. scrambled eggs, hard (rare)
18. pecans (rare)
19. pistachios (rare)
20. green spaghetti (I think called pesto by most people) (rare)
21. quesadilla (rare)
22. short grain, sticky rice

I don't think there's many Japanese foods similar to what I eat. Very, very, very American, processed, junk diet.

I do know that there's some things I haven't tried that I could likely get accustomed to, such as other nuts and maybe other crunchy foods. But nuts are nuts, and as far as I know, not very big in Japan.

Whenever I go to Japan, I set two rules for myself: 1) If I am given food, I have to take at least one bite. 2) If something enters my mouth, it must be swallowed. I have ended up swallowing some things I consider pretty disgusting that way, but I didn't die, and it goes a long way to at least show you're trying.

It'd be nice to be able to abide by such rules. I don't have the confidence that I would be able to do so... but I think I'd try. I'd like to think I'd try, at least. I can't really know unless I'm in the moment, staring down at the food.

Fair tip, you cannot custom order in Japan. It is offensive.

Fake allergies or get used to boxed food, or prepare your own.

Yeah, I know about the custom order thing, thank you. That'd be a lot of allergies to fake. ^^;

[Bero]

Like I said, this is something I've struggled with (though not to the same extent), so thank you for letting this internet stranger speak from personal experience and indulge in un-sugarcoated advice giving. ^^

That does look like a list that would be difficult for a host family to accommodate over two months (because they're cooking for their family, too), but it looks like a lot of that is pretty bland taste-wise, so (if this is the case) you could explain that you're not fond of spicy/strongly flavored things ("karai mono ga nigate desu") or that you like plain things ("assari to shita tabemono ga suki desu"). Telling them things you can eat versus just what you can't will also be helpful for them, and you could use that as a way to ask them if they have suggestions for similar things they would like to prepare. (If they only know a list of foods you won't eat, they'll get flustered/stressed out and be at a loss for what they can possibly feed you.)

Some of those items you mentioned can be found at convenience stores, though, which is good for you. Depending on where you are, there will probably be at least one within walking distance. The local 7/11 may become your best friend, haha.

The rules work for me--I have surprised myself about what I was able to swallow--but it is super hard. Sometimes, only my embarrassment at causing everyone inconvenience by my pickiness can force certain foods into my mouth, and it's only the fear of everyone's disgust at me spitting chewed up food back out again that forces me to swallow (no matter how much my brain is screaming at me to spit it out). And, most of the time, I never take more than that one bite. But, really, that's all most people are looking for. They won't hold it against you if you don't like something and honestly can't eat any more, but they will judge you for not trying. (Fun fact, there's a word for it! "Kuwazugirai," literally someone who "dislikes something without even eating it.")

Really, being willing to try is the most important thing. :)

[Truth and Lies]

That is very true. I like sweet (but not overly sweet, i.e. white chocolate or the like), I like salty, and I like... whatever most of the stuff on that list is. xD Spicy food is definitely a no no. Plain food is best in terms of both taste and texture, but I find, from what I've seen of Japanese cuisine, that many things are... mixed. They have contrasting textures, or seem like they would. Contrasting textures really get me and activate that pesky gag reflex. Mushy's bad, gushy's bad, slimy's bad, crunchy is usually good, and soft is good I guess? Crunchy is safe, I'd say. Pretty straightforward texture.

Yay for convenience stores! This is taken directly from the website. I'm not sure how rural or urban any of these places are so I don't know what all they may have:

POSSIBLE AREAS FOR HOMESTAY

Each student will be placed with a family who lives in Hakodate City, Hokuto City or Nanae Town where the public transportation is available to commute to/from HIF. Your host family will show you how to get to HIF using the relevant transportation (bus, tram, or JR train) on the first few days of your homestay. HIF has been working hard to find a family who lives close to HIF, but please note that there is a chance you will live about 1.5-2 hours away from HIF.

HIF will refund transportation expenses for those who use public transportation to commute between host family’s house and HIF. Further information will be given at the beginning of the program.

More than just my brain that screams at me to spit something out, it's really just my body's natural reflex. "This is abnormal, we don't like this. *commence process for inducing heavy gagging*" Stupid body. -__-; Mostly, when I'm in that situation, of having something forced on me that I don't want to eat, I cry. And I feel horrible. So I cry some more. Really awful reaction, I must admit. I'm not sure if it's happened around folks outside my family, though. It does take me back to those times at the dinner table, sobbing and bawling as I choked on turkey or mashed potatoes or whatever else I was forced to eat lest I be stuck at the dinner table all night. Ah, childhood~. So glad those dinners didn't persist for many years.

Heh. Heh. Heh. If there were ever a word that suited me so perfectly, it would apparently be that word: kuwazugirai. I learned something new today, thank you. xD;

I will try to try, I think is the best I can say for myself. Try to try. ^_^ Thank you very much, again. I enjoy un-sugarcoated advice.

[Novine]

IMHO, there are bullshitters and there are people who legitimately cannot eat something. You legitimately cannot eat certain things or you will be sick. It is a medical/health thing...even though it is not an allergy. I hope that you are able to find a solution. I understand somewhat because I have a strong gag reflex myself.