misleading "metaphors" about sex

[kotah66]

okay. I just found out like last month that netflix and chill does not mean to hang out with your best friend and watch tv or movies on netflix or any other internet movie streaming device. Im behind. All my friends laughed at my panic stricken face when I found out ( we had a good laugh after all)

Now I am really paranoid that there are other terms that people are using to find there way into my house. I have intrusive thoughts of me going over to a "friends" house and suddenly they start taking off their clothes and I obviously thought we were going to try a cheese platter or something. I was bamboozled. Those are the bad dreams I have now that I know what that saying means.

So I want to know. Are there other terms I should be aware of to avoid what happens in my nightmares and also if a girl says she wants to paint my nails ( I'm a guy) should I be scared.

[FlaafyTaffy]

It's not a phrase but I can tell you that even if your friend invited you over to "netflix and chill", they will not, just start getting naked out of no where and start making advances on you.

[Welsh Ace]

I thought Netflix and Chill meant exactly the same thing until I read this thread :o

[GistOfSpirit]

I've known about that euphemism for a while, and it makes me angry. I share the OP's fear about other phrases I may not know are euphemisms.

[Guest]

Oh man, another thing that they just have to sexualise! I mean netflix and chill sounded like someone who is chilling on the couch while watching netflix!!! I guess im behind too!

[Telecaster68]

If nothing sexual has been going on (like flirting, at the very least) nobody's going to suddenly strip naked and jump you... it's just a euphemism like 'coming in for a coffee' after a date. A less awkward way of saying 'I'm interested, maybe we could get a big physical, how about you?' without having to lay it out there explicitly, and it makes less awkward for someone to turn down too.

Maybe it's because I'm British, but virtually any phrase can mean 'fancy a bit of how's your father? eh? eh?' with the right tone, expression and context...

[nanogretchen4]

"How's your father?" That's a bit disturbing. And what's up with "gagging for it"?

[Telecaster68]

'How's your father' is comedic, and rather antiquated and very British. The kind of thing that even the Pythons were using ironically in the 70s. I think it comes from around the 1930s or even earlier, when performers couldn't say anything even slightly explicit. I have no idea what the etymology is.

No idea about 'gagging for it'... makes me think of the gag reflex, but more than that, it doesn't seem to have any logical connection.

[nanogretchen4]

It's a phrase so repulsive I would expect it to lower the British birthrate.

[Telecaster68]

'How's your father'?

No one would ever say 'Fancy coming inside for a bit of how's your father?'. It's a comedy thing.

And one can gag for anything. It just means desperate.

[chimaera]

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[nanogretchen4]

I've heard that Baptists can't have sex standing up because people might think they're dancing. I've never even heard that laundry one.

[chimaera]

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[Skycaptain]

There's a book "Roger's Profanisaurus" which is a dictionary of euphemisms and swear words. The numbers probably run into three figures.

[Busrider]

10 years ago I made the huge mistake of buying a slang and euphemisms dictionary. It seemed as if at least every 3rd entry was about an umpteenth synonym for "Fasten your chastity belt!" - I was really disappointed. That is really the last thing needed to get a better understanding of a language. Everything else conveyed is in doubt more interesting or more crucial to not understand. And I suppose even the horniest and most promiscuous might converse with less than 5% of their encounters about that stuff?

[kotah66]

Oh my god. There are a lot of subtle ones I wouldn't expect. If someone says to me come up for coffee I would probably say either "you know its getting to be my bedtime I have work tomorrow and caffeine is bad this time of night" or " Do you have decaf tea? Coffee is a bit bitter for me. In fact, I just had a huge dinner! Why would I have more!" In that situation I would probably say lets watch something on netflix and now I know where that would get me.

And if someone asked me if I wanted to help them with the laundry late at night I would suspect they had some life skills issues that needed to be taken care of such as starting the laundry in the morning and putting it the dryer later in the day. Suspicious. Very Very subtle.

[chimaera]

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[Peachyy]

Its just a joke????

It was made up because sexual ppl noticed that if someone who was interested in them invited them over for a movie, they found like it was used as an excuse for that person to cozy up to them. Like going to the movies and having your date uncomfortably put their arm around you. The idea that they think they're going to hang out for a movie at someone's house, but the other person has ulterior motives (not necessarily in a dangerous way, just that they're hoping there'll be some snuggling or sex because Netflix is an intimate experience vs a theatre and two ppl who are interested in each other might take advantage of that). .

But 90% of the time ppl say it, they're just joking. Only skeezy ppl would randomly undress in front of you and expect sex.

Lol. The only terms I remember are from 4th grade.

[DragonflytotheMoon]

Many of you may already be aware of, Urban Dictionary. When I'm unsure of a word or phrase, I check there. I don't think it's entirely about sexual euphemisms, but, there's quite a few of them. As for Netflix & chill, I can assure you, that there would be no nudity or intimacy implied if I offered that. Snuggling, though, for those who enjoy it as I do.

[Philip027]

As someone who's a big proponent of just saying what you mean because they often miss subtexts, phrases such as these bother me to no end.

[Sally]

I thought Netflix and Chill meant exactly the same thing until I read this thread :o

So what do they mean? Maybe someone could put it in a spoiler that all of us will read anyway?

[Sally]

Baptists can't have sex standing up because people might think they're dancing

Baptists are not allowed to dance? Why is that? Are all styles of dancing forbidden or just those considered "dirty"?

All dancing.

Methodist can't dance either because they might smile.

[Telecaster68]

There's a book "Roger's Profanisaurus" which is a dictionary of euphemisms and swear words. The numbers probably run into three figures.

Just a small warning... Profanisaurus is a joke, derived from a character in Viz, a very crude, and formerly very funny adult* comic. They're all made up. It's a glorious exercise in linguistic inventicn by some comedy writers.

*'adult' in the sense of 'very juvenile', just to add to the confusion.

A lot of these are generally deployed with some humour or irony, or tongue in cheek, because (a) they're essentially a continuation of flirting, and (b) the humour gives the recipient a graceful get out if they don't want to take it further.

Like all euphemisms, the point is that the ambiguity gives wiggle room to allow a potentially awkward social situation to be diffused.

[touching-not-so-much]

Honsetly, until I saw this mentioned AGAIN here, I STILL did not believe "you want to come in for coffee" was truly a universally understood invitation for sex. I knew sure, there were SOME people who would mean it like that, but it would be accompanied by weird facial contortions, pointing to their crotch and things like that. You surely would not just invite someone for coffee but mean "let's bump uglies". Guess I learned something new. I still think it's stupid.

Same with "Netflix and chill". I spent almost an hour looking it up and being more and more amazed there was no variation, including in Netflix itself making it clear. Stupid BS. If someone invites ME to Netflix and chill, we're going to watch a movie and not talk about stressful subjects, regardless of what crazy idea they had about things beforehand.

[Telecaster68]

It's not quite that some people *always* mean sex by "coming in for coffee", it's that most people will recognise that in some contexts it probably means sex, or at least sexual activity could be on the cards. It's part of the probing and negotiating of dating, and might come after a date's gone really well, and it seems likely (though not absolutely crystal clear) that both people would like to get physical.

The reason it's ambiguous is so that if the person making the coffee offer has read the situation wrongly,

the other one can turn it down without explicitly saying 'actually it was nice, but, no I don't fancy you' which would be embarrassing and painful for both sides.