Do people in your life accept your sexuality?

[hecatonicosachoron]

My friends were the ones who helped me work myself out, so they were all fine with it and totally accepting. Sometimes I get things like 'So you're going to die alone with cats?' or 'I don't believe you would NEVER want to have sex', but people stop after I've explained a bit more.

My parents spend a long time going on about how I'm going to get married and give them grandchildren... I've often tried to broach the subject of my sexuality with them and they seem accepting at the moment, but totally disbelieving that I will still feel this way in ten, or even five years time. They say 'Oh, you'll find that special someone eventually'. However, I think eventually they'll get over that. What I'm actually scared to tell them is my romantic orientation, because they're the kind of parents who really wouldn't want their daughter having a girlfriend... (which I already do actually, but don't tell them that :P )

[Whispearl]

My family accepts what I've told them (never used the word asexual but they pretty much know what's up). My mom's more chill about it than my dad, though. They were pretty nasty about it at first, though, especially my dad, but he just couldn't wrap his head around the whole "never" thing and how adamant I was about it. But that's all over, thankfully. My brother accepts it but acknowledges that he's the complete opposite of me and he's more intrigued by it than anything but doesn't think less of me or anything bad. My friends are all about it. If anything I think putting a word to it was just confirmation of what they already knew. I've had two guys leave me over it but only one of them was really a complete and total jerk, the other it was just a difference in needs which I can respect, as much as it sucked to lose him. But overall I'd consider myself fairly lucky with the people I've told.

[ChairmenV]

I get mixed reactions. In this one church I go to the youth ministers think that im blessed for being aromantic and want me to pray for them. Others are not too accepting since im not following their way of "manliness". Ive already experienced attempts to "correct" my sexuality (its a long story). Ever since that ive only come out to my closest friends and you guys.

[Momoo]

My brother is the only person in real life who knows that I am asexual and he has no problem with it. He wasn't even remotely suprised when I told him even though he didn't knew until then what asexuality is.

[GwendolynAngel83]

I am very out to, like, everyone. It comes up in conversations fairly commonly for me and I'm very open. Most people are curious and/or confused and I get questions, but none are too openly hostile, though I think some might not have believed me. Most people seem more willing to accept my asexuality to my aromantasim though. For people that actually matter to me;

Father-accepting, doesn't really care as long as I'm happy. Though he doesn't like it when I sometimes send articles to him about it

Mother-took her a bit to wrap her head around it, but mostly relieved (she thought I was homosexual and she's homophobic -_-). She's more open to talk about it

Grandfather-Really accepting, even went as far as to go and do a lot of outside research to learn more about what it meant.

Grandmarie- I think she's still confused, but seems ok with it

Uncle Eric and Aunt Jamie- not entirely sure how they feel, but they seem accepting of it

Roommate-is also asexual, so no problem there ^^'

Siblings-they seem fine with it, they never mention it*shrugs*

[Twig55]

I've told five people:

1. The first was my sister, who asked me if I thought it was something I could see a doctor about (the way she said it wasn't as bad as it sounds here!) but was fairly accepting after I explained it. She then came out to me about something else, so it was a good night.

2. Then I told my oldest friend, who said 'ok' and then set it aside. Not sure how to feel about that, and it's changed the way I interact with her because now I feel like there's a barrier, which may or may not be right but I can't bring it up again.

3. Then I told one of my newer friends when we were drunk, and he was awesome about it.

4. I was in a pub once, getting fairly tipsy with #3 (different drinking session!) and a mutual friend who I'd met for the first time that night came up to me and started asking me about relationships (she'd just got engaged). I told her that I didn't have a gf/bf because I was asexual. She responded really positively.

5. The last was another new friend who has also confided things in me. She was cool about it but completely missed the point, but I'll only correct her if the subject comes up again.

I will never tell my parents. Even if she doesn't pester me, my mum is really hopeful for grandkids and I don't have the heart to confirm what she probably already suspects. I wouldn't burden my dad with a secret he has to keep from the rest of the family - it's just not important enough for that.

I will also never tell colleagues. I don't want the hassle because I work at a small company and there's a lot of people who will probably make a fuss if it gets out.

I would like to be more open, though. Maybe in the future :-)

[Guest]

Moved thread from Questions about Asexuality to Asexual Relationships.

Nai

Questions about Asexuality Co-Moderator

[Ace of Amethysts]

I`m very openly ace, but when the topic of sex comes up in conversation, I always say "I`m not interested" instead of "I`m asexual" because it`s easy to swallow for most people outside ace spaces.

As my sidebar says and I`ve said plenty of times, I am and will always be a closeted aromantic. However, I don`t think I`ve ever gone in depth to explain that choice. Will I? Yes, in a future post/thread someday when I`m peaceful enough. :)

[NerotheReaper]

The only person who knows is my sister, she is supportive of me.

But for the most part I am in the closet, mainly because I don't feel the need to tell people about it. I would probably tell a serious boyfriend, but I won't be wearing a pride shirt and screaming to the world I am asexy.

[Evren]

I'm not really closeted, but I don't use the words asexual. I just say that I have absolutely no desire for sex. There have been mixed reactions to that. You haven't met the right person, ah, your being a good woman (BLAG). Surprisingly my best reactions have been from my co-workers, their just like okay. :)

[Ace of Amethysts]

I'm not really closeted, but I don't use the words asexual. I just say that I have absolutely no desire for sex. There have been mixed reactions to that. You haven't met the right person, ah, your being a good woman (BLAG). Surprisingly my best reactions have been from my co-workers, their just like okay. :)

Pretty much my approach. :)

[HOTLIMIT]

I'm open about my asexuality to basically everyone, and if anybody asks me, I tell them. My mom has been accepting from the beginning and she told me she always knew I was different. My aunt is basically an alcoholic so she doesn't even care or think about it. I have no other family. All of my friends are very accepting and I've never felt any animosity from anyone about my asexuality. I have felt some negativity from strangers due to my gender and gender expression, but I don't really care what strangers think.

[The Emerald]

In a way, my parents do but it makes them sad. My religion classifies hetero sex as "a gift from God to bear children into His kingdom" but with homo sex it's a very, very bad sin.

Sex (any type of sex, even masturbation) before marriage is considered like committing murder.

[probablypandas]

Two of my closest friends know. Otherwise, I exist deep with a closet.

[Gloomy]

I'm closeted, but a few days ago during my dad's spiel about how I should make friends and talk to people he half jokingly, half seriously asked me if I was going to die a virgin and I was just l like "Yes". He told me I should find a boyfriend or girlfriend(at least he's accepting of some different sexualities) so I wouldn't be lonely and would "have someone to hug" and all that. He even suggested that I get my psychiatric medication dosage increased. So I don't think he'd take it very well if I flat out told him I was asexual and not very interested in romance.

I'm not quite sure how other people in my life would react, but I have a feeling my mom would be a little more accepting, since she's one of those "Well, as long as you're happy" people.

[N'Pol]

I told my best friend, the one person who knows me to my very core. She told me she understands why i don't wanna sleep with just anyone, that it will feel different when it's with "the right person" (she is married, of course she has to say that :)). I had to remind her that i thought i found my "the one" but i had no desire to sleep with him either, and the few times we did, i felt so weird i couldn't wait for it to be over. (it was my choice, no pressure ever from him; i just wanted our relationship to work out so badly.) so if i didn't have that with him, i won't feel differently with anyone else. I don't think she understands what ace people really are, so i just never brought up the conversation and decided to stay closeted until i meet someone who feels the same as i do and understands i won't just snap out of it and start banging people all of a sudden.

[Amethystine]

My parents seem to think that I'll grow out of it... On the other hand, my friends vary from benign indifference, to sheer curiosity, but they always accept it - I am so lucky to have such supportive, open-minded friends. I'll mention my asexuality to anyone who asks (if I know them reasonably well,) in fact recently I even lectured most of my school's population on it. (Not as impressive as it sounds, though - I go to a teeny-tiny specialist school with less than 20 students.)

[dead account---]

well i not mentioned it to my parents - my friends are mixed about it but most understand/respect my views but i'm open to speak about it if needed. My boyfriend whom is also ace Understands which is one of the many great points of the relationship :D

[spurgle]

So far I'm only out to my girlfriend and she is very supportive.

[SpiffyParadox]

Much like Graceful said, it's a mix between indifferent and supportive. As long as i'm comfortable and happy with this part of me, then my friends and family are fine with it. I'm not in the closet about it nor am I very open about it either. If someone asks, yeah, i'll tell them. Otherwise, it's really no ones business.

[LadyPariah]

I am pretty open about it to most people, but not to those I've just met. I've gotten a lot of support from people in real life, and a lot of shit from internet creepers. My mom was very accepting, as she also has asexual tendancies, although she asks ALOT of questions. However, I would never tell my dad because he's a Trump supporter, if that tells you anything.

[GistOfSpirit]

Whether I've "come out" or not would depend on the definition; if "coming out" means making a big announcement then I haven't, if it just means not keeping it a secret then I was never "in" in the first place (once I realised it myself).

In general I'd readily admit it if it came up in conversation, but it mostly doesn't. I've only explicitly told my psychoanalyst, who was reluctant to believe it at first but now is very accepting.

I joined a relevant group on Facebook and a maybe-friend asked me about it soon afterwards, at first she thought it meant I'm not interested in relationships with anyone but I explained that this isn't the case with everyone and definitely not with me. She's been entirely accepting since, not that we've had any big conversations on the subject though.

At some point more recently another friend was talking about someone he fancies and said something like "I think you're not interested in relationships, right?" to which I replied I am, but we didn't get into any details. The word "asexual" never came up so I don't know if he also thought that because of FB or simply because we've never discussed relationships before in all the years we've known each other.

[Lightning Blue Ray]

My friends were mostly accepting, though there was always one or two people who still gave me the "You haven't met the right person" rubbish.

[SithLord]

I'm not out to my family other than my sister, but I'm out to most of my friends (all but one) and my boyfriend, and all of them are accepting. I had to explain it, but no one said I just didn't understand or needed time/experience before I could decide. I even have often sex talks with my straight and gay coworkers and the only thing they judged me for was my virginity, and only that because I had just reached two years with my bf so they thought my bf was a saint for sticking with me so long.

[starry-night-sky]

Only my best friend knows and so far she has been very accepting. She didn't seem to understand it at the beginning but we talked about it and now she seems to understand it better. I was afraid she was going to tell me that I'll change my mind when I meet the "right one" but she didn't and the experience was far more positive than I expected.

[Sinnette]

I'd tell anyone I'm asexual if they asked, but the only people who I actually came out to was my mom, sister, and a few friends. My mom handled it the worst, with the typical "how do u know if u hav3nt had the s3xx?????" response, and later "god send u here to be a NUN!" But she's more accepting of it now.

i havent told anyone the panromantic part haha oops

[Gok]

Some people get very surprised, like they never heard of such a thing before and they fail to comprehend how someone might not have interest in sex, haha.

[AceInhibitor]

-I'm not out to my parents yet, although my dad was talking about a celebrity being asexual and how it makes total sense that asexual people would exist, so I'm optimistic about that if I ever decide to tell them, not that it's their business whether I have sex or not
-I told my sister a year or so back and she told me I was just being a 'special snowflake'. But I reckon she'll grow out of that.
-My housemates/best friends are all cool about it. One of them is ace as well and I would pretty much be lost without her.
-Another best friend didn't realise that I was actually telling her I was asexual for about nine months, and then asked if that meant 'People who have sex with themselves'. Bless her. She's fine with it, I think, but I'm not sure she actually understands what I mean.
-Tried coming out to another friend a little while ago. It did not go well. He doesn't understand it, he kept asking me questions, and told other people, who also started asking me questions so it became Asexuality 101 (which I was not in the mood for), and then touching me and asking if it turned me on? Because he didn't understand how I wasn't interested in it?

So I'm not coming out to straight people anymore except my family, and my best friend back home.

[GwendolynAngel83]

I am very out to, like, everyone. It comes up in conversations fairly commonly for me and I'm very open. Most people are curious and/or confused and I get questions, but none are too openly hostile, though I think some might not have believed me. Most people seem more willing to accept my asexuality to my aromantasim though. For people that actually matter to me;

Father-accepting, doesn't really care as long as I'm happy. Though he doesn't like it when I sometimes send articles to him about it

Mother-took her a bit to wrap her head around it, but mostly relieved (she thought I was homosexual and she's homophobic -_-). She's more open to talk about it

Grandfather-Really accepting, even went as far as to go and do a lot of outside research to learn more about what it meant.

Grandmarie- I think she's still confused, but seems ok with it

Uncle Eric and Aunt Jamie- not entirely sure how they feel, but they seem accepting of it

Roommate-is also asexual, so no problem there ^^'

Siblings-they seem fine with it, they never mention it*shrugs*

Found out recently that my grandgather isn't nearly as accepting as I thought he was :/ he just talked to my mom about it instead of me :(

[Hermit Advocate]

I just recently came out to my oldest friend. She wasn't really surprised and didn't have any negative reactions but the topic quickly shifted back to her poor life choices so we spent the rest of the evening talking about that. It was a bit anticlimactic to be honest.