Is Asexuality Genetic?

[Starlit Sky]

many of those things--except Autism--are found in many people who are among the LGBT+, and it's not at all exclusive to asexuality

I'm not sure I agree with you. I have quite a few friends who are gay and none of them has these issues. It could be because I tend to surround myself with confident people who are happy with who they are. It could be because where I'm from, people are generally not very homophobic so gay people have room to breathe and live their lives without fear.

I'm aware that the situation is a lot different in other parts of the world though, where LGBT people are shamed into thinking that the way they are is a disgusting sin. I understand how this could result in them being depressed, anxious etc.

With asexuals, the situation is different though. Asexuals are generally not that ostracized as far as I know, since not many people know about asexuality in the first place. So, the depression could stem from their (subconscious) unhappiness about their situation. With asexual romantics it's more "I don't want sex, I'm never going to find anyone who's going to be ok with that" type of problem. I see how easy it would be to become depressed/unhappy with such predicament (loving someone, wanting to be loved back and them seeing you as inadequate because of asexuality).

I'm very against the idea that everyone should be able to use "asexuality" as a label for as long as it fits them.

Well, when it fits, why not use it? Again, how can you tell the difference between "a real asexual" and a "fake" one?

The only thing that the word "asexual" means to me is "not interested in sex". The way I see asexuality is more like a state of mind, a lifestyle in a way (but different from celibacy).

Asexuality shouldn't be a "temp thing"

A lot of people say that (a)sexuality is fluid...

From my experience, being sexual is something you have to open up to, something you have to accept and embrace, something you have to want for it to "work". So, asexuality can (but doesn't have to) be a "temp thing".

undermines asexuality as a legitimate sexual orientation. Ah, I might get some shit for this. . . .

Definitely not from me, haha ;) . I believe there is more than this that undermines asexuality as a legitimate orientation...

If the shoe actually fits then feel free to put it on . . . but if the shoe gets worn out, don't be afraid to get another. Basically, is what I'm talking about.

I agree with this 100%.

aromantics really aren't missing anything

I previously identified as asexual aromantic. I was not interested in a romantic/sexual relationship and saw relationships as an inconvenience in a way. I am a very driven person and didn't want anything or anyone to hold me back. But then I realized that I didn't want things to always be like that, that I'd probably end up burned-out soon if I put all my energy into one aspect of life only. There has to be a balance. I simply became uncomfortable with the idea of never finding anyone to care about and them care about me.

I'm sure that having that pull to have sex with someone is wonderful and beautiful and amazing and fantastic, and that I wouldlove it and that I would be grateful to experience it--but would I say that I was simply "content" before I experienced that feeling, even with all the powers invested in me by good old hindsight? Judging from my experience with the feeling of being in love . . . I doubt it. :)

I respect that. I've never been in love so I can't say what's better. I've recently become (sexually) attracted to someone for the first time and I have to say it's pretty great as well. It's pretty much the only time when I can switch off my brain (which almost never happens otherwise) and relax, focus on that person and nothing else.

First off, I'm sorry that I'm not making a cleaner cut of this quote! I'm on my phone, which makes it kinda difficult to work at that!

So, to start off with LGBT+ folks: I live in good old Mississippi, which you may or may not notice under my username. Mississippi isn't the best place for LGBT+ people to reside in, so that very well may be the reason why so many I have personally met suffer from mental issues of some kind.

For the next bit, about "temporary asexuality" and all that--what I am actually talking about has nothing to do with fluidity at all. What I am talking about is pretty complex, and trying to explain it on my phone would be next to impossible :lol:

Now, for about your story:

Well, first of all, I know that what you've said isn't ALL of your story, and I absolutely get that. I would like to point out, though, that you do make it sound as though you hadn't truly accepted your aro/ace orientations in your heart when the attractions kicked in, and if that assumption of mine is true then that will be a key difference. Aromantics--and asexuals--who are at least almost entirely accepting of their nature aren't walking around merely content, because they are happy with themselves. Those who are often worried about being alone are the ones who are indeed missing something, but what they are missing can be found in acceptance and inner-peace. :)

[Isak]

What difference does it make whether it is genetic or not?

It makes a difference in the world of science, basically. We are always looking to better understand the world we live in. That's kinda the only reason why somebody would care :lol: Though . . . I'm sure there are other reasons out there.

Yes, I agree with that. Perhaps I should rephrase my question: what difference does it make to us?

[Snao Cone]

What difference does it make whether it is genetic or not?

It makes a difference in the world of science, basically. We are always looking to better understand the world we live in. That's kinda the only reason why somebody would care :lol: Though . . . I'm sure there are other reasons out there.

Yes, I agree with that. Perhaps I should rephrase my question: what difference does it make to us?

This is why I think it's a dangerous rabbit hole to go down if we focus on where asexuality comes from as part of the visibility & education work being done. It's a valid scientific question worth exploring, but not helpful for public dialogue in having the lives of asexual people accepted and understood.

[Sally]

Those who are often worried about being alone are the ones who are indeed missing something, but what they are missing can be found in acceptance and inner-peace. :)

Not necessarily true. People are individuals. Some individuals indeed want partners, and that desire may have nothing to do with inner peace or lack thereof.

[HeidiUK]

With asexuals, the situation is different though. Asexuals are generally not that ostracized as far as I know, since not many people know about asexuality in the first place.

Well, when it fits, why not use it? Again, how can you tell the difference between "a real asexual" and a "fake" one?

The only thing that the word "asexual" means to me is "not interested in sex". The way I see asexuality is more like a state of mind, a lifestyle in a way (but different from celibacy).

Asexuality shouldn't be a "temp thing"

A lot of people say that (a)sexuality is fluid...

They say that sexual orientation is fluid they don't say that being sexual is fluid. Also, as I have seen countless times on this forum, asexuals do not generally relate to celibacy because celibacy implies they are going to want sex. And asexuals dont.

Even if I didn't know asexuality existed, I would still be ostracised by society. Even without labels it's seen as obscure and bizarre that I am bucking the mainstream, sexual world I am living in.

In my case the asexual label has lead to less ostracisation because I can use a word to explain, and I can show documenatary links to people and write blogs on the subject to gain greater awareness.

Well, first of all, I know that what you've said isn't ALL of your story, and I absolutely get that. I would like to point out, though, that you do make it sound as though you hadn't truly accepted your aro/ace orientations in your heart when the attractions kicked in, and if that assumption of mine is true then that will be a key difference. Aromantics--and asexuals--who are at least almost entirely accepting of their nature aren't walking around merely content, because they are happy with themselves. Those who are often worried about being alone are the ones who are indeed missing something, but what they are missing can be found in acceptance and inner-peace. :)

I have inner peace on being ace (finally) but I'm sure as hell not at peace at the idea I may be alone because of it, or be 'forced' (and I use that word very lightly) to compromise if I love a sexual (something I could do, would be happy to do, but in an ideal world would date an asexual).

This is why I think it's a dangerous rabbit hole to go down if we focus on where asexuality comes from as part of the visibility & education work being done. It's a valid scientific question worth exploring, but not helpful for public dialogue in having the lives of asexual people accepted and understood.

I agree. And regardless, even if someone came out with a scientific explanation, it would be debunked by someone else.

Since coming out, I have been asked a lot if I think my asexuality has anything to do with my disability. And my answer is invariably the same. Whilst I can never be sure, and I do want to know, I don't really care. It's by the by, because I am happy as I am. Even if I could (as in that House episode) be cured, would I want to be? No, because why force myself to change when all my life I have been asexual and happy and not harming anyone.

Not necessarily true. People are individuals. Some individuals indeed want partners, and that desire may have nothing to do with inner peace or lack thereof.

This. This. This.

[Starlit Sky]

Those who are often worried about being alone are the ones who are indeed missing something, but what they are missing can be found in acceptance and inner-peace. :)

Not necessarily true. People are individuals. Some individuals indeed want partners, and that desire may have nothing to do with inner peace or lack thereof.

I meant specifically being at peace with their orientations, not everything else. :) (Sorry if I'm misunderstanding what you're saying!)