'Acting' Asexual?

[SquidKen]

I tend to suggestively flirt a lot, make a lot of jokes, and generally act like someone who really wants to sleep with you, but sexual nudity freaks me out really badly, and I have no desire to ever have sex. More than just every so often to make my friends laugh, quite a few assumed I wanted more. It gets me into situations I could have easily avoided just by not doing that. For a long while I didn't really get that other people actually cared about sex, so it was all just fun to me. It still is fun to me, even though now I'm more aware of the fact that I can't keep doing it. Most recently it was just hanging out with a co-worker I was crushing on and it ended with him apologizing for assuming we'd have sex. We're cool and everything, and I know that it was my own fault.

I'm wondering if any of you guys do this too, and perhaps why? There's no reason to act like this when sex isn't desired or wanted or even bearable, so why is it fun

[andreas1033]

I did everything i could to keep people away from me, and stayed away from those topics, and am very quiet.

So i was always a very introverted asexual, and i did everything i could to keep people from me. I especially made it hard on females whom i thought liked me, as i knew how quickly things can get out of hand.

So i was the opposite of you.

Thankfully when you get older, people will not like you as much, as stay away alot more, then when your young.

I would think your an extrovert, and likes attention.

[Oddball-Meo]

Well, I can't really give you an accurate answer because I don't flirt and I don't know you personally but I can try.

I'm assuming people don't react negatively to the flirting? If not, then perhaps it's fun to you because you make people smile and like you? You said you do it on occasion to make your friends laugh and honestly many people like it when someone takes a interest in them as it makes them feel wanted/liked/interesting etc, so if you like making people laugh and happy then flirting and showing an interest in them will have positive effects on a good number of people's moods and that might be why it's so fun to you, because you get a positive reaction. Also people show interest in those who shows an interest in them as well, so by showing an interest (the flirting) they automatically respond by showing an interest back and as I've just mentioned, people generally enjoy that.

So maybe the answer is as simple as you like the reaction you get when you flirt and that's why it's fun. Or perhaps you like the interest you get in return for taking an interest in them (not sexual interest as you've expressed disgust in it but general interest).

[Baam]

I didn't ever think romance was a real thing. I thought crushes were some kind of game. To that end, I find myself in a similar situation occasionally. Pretending to be interested in my friends to mess around with them. I don't know why I do it, either. Maybe some part of me still believes it's just a game everyone is taking part in. It may sound bad, but it is just fun messing with people in that way.

[One Winged Angel]

I absolutely never show interest in anybody in that way, real or pretend, and never bring up the topics of sex, sexuality or relationships with other people. I am very uncomfortable if these topics are brought up around me.

[levelskid]

Asexuals come in many colors. Some don't want anything to do with sex, some are like you. I happened to find such things amusing. It doesn't bother me and trust me, I like dirty jokes sometimes and stuff. It's just I don't desire sex.

[Velma]

This is eerie. I was just thinking of this. My FAVORITE part of a "relationship" is that awkward period where you know you're totally safe to make a move, and the other one really wants you to, but everyone is too shy to make that first move. There's so much tension and anticipation. I love it -- "accidentally" brushing hands, awkward silence while you both look at your shoes and smile a little. Doing that thing where you keep looking at the other person to see it they are looking at you, but then you turn away really fast when they look at you.

There's this feeling of endless possibility. Anything can happen! There's a roller coaster rush. Maybe you read the signals wrong and are seconds away from..."ummm.. Seriously..no..what gave you that idea?" Or "Please violate me seventy different ways, come live with me and we can make babies together forever!" It's a little bit risky and dangerous. It's like a little daredevil stunt.

It's not a game to me at all. Back before I settled down and got married, that was the very best part of the entire love affair. It was so good and exciting that the "real" part where the making out starts getting serious, it's a total letdown. For me, its like, "What? All that flirting and time spent chasing after THIS? Not worth it!" I just accepted that as grim reality and chalked it up to my being a hopeless romantic. Reality just got in the way of my hopes and dreams of having just one night of mind blowing sex. Ahh well, better luck next time.

[012]

I tend to suggestively flirt a lot, make a lot of jokes, and generally act like someone who really wants to sleep with you, but sexual nudity freaks me out really badly, and I have no desire to ever have sex. More than just every so often to make my friends laugh, quite a few assumed I wanted more. It gets me into situations I could have easily avoided just by not doing that. For a long while I didn't really get that other people actually cared about sex, so it was all just fun to me. It still is fun to me, even though now I'm more aware of the fact that I can't keep doing it. Most recently it was just hanging out with a co-worker I was crushing on and it ended with him apologizing for assuming we'd have sex. We're cool and everything, and I know that it was my own fault.

I'm wondering if any of you guys do this too, and perhaps why? There's no reason to act like this when sex isn't desired or wanted or even bearable, so why is it fun

It's a pretty wide umbrella so I wouldn't worry about "acting asexual". I guess the main thing would be to not lead the other person on too much, so that they're left to assume sex is the goal.

I agree, although I don't do it much, at times flirting can be fun. You just have to be careful to put a limit on how far it goes. There's bound to be a pretty big difference between how Aros and romantics feel about this.