Nymra Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 I'm currently fighting with myself about this. I lived in a few monogamous relationships before, but I never felt that comfortable since I knew I couldn't 'fulfill' all wishes of my partner. And well, my partner sometimes couldn't 'fulfill' mine. Especially if it came to romance. Sometimes I'd love to just hang out with someone and tell everyone 'we're just friends'. On the other hand being more than 'just friends'. So basically I'm open for it. I don't consider myself polyamorous but I'm rather quite curious about it. So maybe one day, this will be my way. Link to post Share on other sites
Cimmerian Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I'm poly in large part because I know how having options is better than not having options. Plus, monogamy is objectively bad and sociologists have demonstrated for decades. It creates competition, greed, envy, lust, etc. And pretty much ensures infidelity. If you don't want partners cheating, don't tell them they can't. When we forbid things we only make them more desireable. Like that 1 remaining ciggy in the pack. Can put off having it for quite a while knowing it's there and when the nicotine craving's intense enough you can satisfy it. But when you're totally out it's all you think about. As with being in a relationship and knowing you can't avail yourself of an interested party, versus knowing you could but not availing yourself. :) Sharing is caring, and everyone belongs to everyone else said Huxley. :) I'm a bit worried about your sourcing for that thought... :P Link to post Share on other sites
TheCosmicLady Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I'd love to be in a polyamorous asexual/grey-A triad. Otherwise, I don't see polyamory working out for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Silvand Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I've had polyamorous relationships and in these cases were by preference and not by convenience because of a mixed relationship. I like being in a polyamorous relationship and this works for me, more than being in a monogamous relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Koriander Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Can someone tell me what it is? :) I've never heard about it before, sorry, I'm just curious and want to know what it is. :D Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I've noticed a fair number of asexuals on here are polyamorous, but it often seems to be more out of convenience or perceived necessity than out of preference - like they choose to try out polyamory because it seems like a way to deal with mixed relationships, and that sort of thing. I know that regardless of who my partners are/what sexual orientations they have, I definitely want all of us to be onboard with polyamory. Which, yes, can make relationships more difficult, but it's important to me. So I wanted to know - how many folks on here are into polyamory just because they prefer it? I'm poly in large part because I know how having options is better than not having options. Plus, monogamy is objectively bad and sociologists have demonstrated for decades. It creates competition, greed, envy, lust, etc. And pretty much ensures infidelity. If you don't want partners cheating, don't tell them they can't. When we forbid things we only make them more desireable. Like that 1 remaining ciggy in the pack. Can put off having it for quite a while knowing it's there and when the nicotine craving's intense enough you can satisfy it. But when you're totally out it's all you think about. As with being in a relationship and knowing you can't avail yourself of an interested party, versus knowing you could but not availing yourself. :) Sharing is caring, and everyone belongs to everyone else said Huxley. :) Monogamy is only bad when people aren't actually interested in it (poly trying to be "normal") or it's used as an excuse for negative emotions in order to not work on them (monogamy is NOT about jealousy or greed, if you're extremely jealous, that's not "cute" or "romantic" ... that's baaaad.. despite what Hollywood says). And frankly, cheating can happen in poly as well, cause it's simply a breach of a an agreed relationship line (in other words, breaking of trust). If someone really HAS to do something they were told would hurt their partner and make them not trust them anymore because hearing that is too tempting, well, that just means they are an automatic not partner material for me. Because, no matter if you're poly or mono, there are going to be things that you can do that will hurt your partner and make them lose trust... and those things should never be as tempting as the last cigarette/cupcake/whatever. Both are simply just preferences for relationships. Some prefer poly, some prefer mono. *shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
Tetus Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Plus, monogamy is objectively bad and sociologists have demonstrated for decades. I'm not sure that most sociologists would agree with you there. More importantly, though, I think it's a disservice to poly relationships to say they're good because mono ones are bad. I've never been in a poly relationship myself, but I imagine there's more to it than "welp, all the other options are worse." Other people's thing doesn't have to be bad in order for yours to be good. Likewise, their thing being good doesn't mean yours is bad. Link to post Share on other sites
oskietje Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Can someone tell me what it is? :) I've never heard about it before, sorry, I'm just curious and want to know what it is. :D Polyamorous relationships are when there are more than two individuals involved. It often means that intimate relationships are not limited to a couple, but may extend to others. It is the opposite of monogamous relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
oskietje Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 She's my "one and only", but we don't need to be monogamous for that to be the case. I find this interesting and it made me think about how I reflected about this some years ago. I always had the idea of monogamy in my mind growing up, but I think I became more aware that it would be unrealistic expectation given my circumstances. Being a homoromantic asexual basically limits me to homosexual men and a very small sect of homoromantic asexuals. At first I thought that a relationship with an allosexual would be incompatible, but then I realized that my needs can easily be met, and allowing them to have their sexual needs met elsewhere outside of the relationship would be a realistic concession that I wouldn't really worry about. Having said that, I could never be the one seeking out intimacy elsewhere, and I think that's why I can be so at peace with it - knowing that I'm giving as much as I can, and they are gladly receiving it and being completed somehow else. I can't help but think that it would end up in me being abandoned for someone else, but I think it's a risk I'd be willing to take. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.