binary suns Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I've always felt frustrated with orientation. not fitting in anywhere perfectly. but I've just changed my status, to "behaviorally demi" and I think I like it. I think it's here to stay :o basically, if you look at orientation as strictly attraction, I just don't feel attraction, beyond demi sensual attraction. but, I feel so unlike most asexuals and aromantics because, there are times and reasons that I would desire a romantic and/or sexual encounter. not because of attraction, but for complex and personal reasons I don't really wanna discuss -_- but anyway, I realized that, behaviorally I'm demiromantic, and that while I'm still a little unsure if I really want to "go all the way" with sexual contact, it wouldn't be that far-fetched to say I'm behaviorally demisexual as well. so. IDK. I'm relieved I guess. I almost posted this in the "celebrations" forum lol! but it is more of a musing I suppose. being me, I'd rather have a coldhearted discuss than congratulations :P (but either will be welcomed of course) Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Cupio-romantic/sexual where one is aromantic/asexual but still desires a romantic/sexual relationship. I used to think it was an impossible contradiction, but that's just what my head thinks, the heart says "Hmm, maybe." I can see people in love/lust and think "that's wonderful for them, maybe I want that," even if I don't feel what they feel. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 but the issue is I can't say I desire a relationship. that implies emotional drive. I anticipate that at some point I'll seek one out but, I feel no need for one. I like to be alone. it gets kinda complicated, really... Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I think there are a lot of people who, even just by being present, seem to intrude upon alone-time, but some people, often other quiet hermit-types, seem to know how to be alone, together. It's a rare thing though. Cupios might not be an emotional need for a relationship, after all, we're talking about aromantics who very well may not emotionally desire a relationship; I suppose each one's reasons for ending up willingly in a relationship could be different. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 the other issue is that I'm indifferent with the type of relationship. romantic, aromantic, sexual, asexual, it doesn't matter to me. if there was a term for cupio-whatever, I'd go with it lol. maybe at some point, I'll switch from "behaviorally demi" to "cupio" xD but for the time being, I am uninterested in seeking anything out. what, should I say I'm a "some day cupio" :lol: edit: and like, if I had a friend who wanted to live with me and we were a good match, I wouldn't seek out any sorta relationship. but, most people who I feel comfortable enough to live with, seem to develop some sort of feelings for me, other than just as a friend. so actually, if I'm cupio, I'm grey-cupio. I feel like that is an abuse of modifiers :P I'd still prefer "behaviorally cupio" over cupio xD Link to post Share on other sites
Confusion 0 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I do understand what you're saying... Sort of. Being a sex-averse grey-a makes me "practically asexual". I choose not to use that term because people might misinterpret it. They might see it as meaning "almost asexual", which doesn't describe me at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Calamity Jim Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I've never had a sexual encounter. There are times where I want one because I think I'm supposed to want one. But when I have tried the baby steps I found it boring and awkward. So I have little hope that sex will be any more engaging. But what if it is?For me, being curious about sex doesn't really put a dent in how I see my orientation. I still don't experience sexual attraction, and I know that this is about socialization as much as anything else. The idea that I want sex is purely intellectual, like the way I want to read a book or watch a movie I'm morbidly curious about, not the same way I crave water on a hot day. So I'm ace. If I ever have sex I might discover I'm demi, but I'm still ace. My desire for sex is still not sexual attraction to other people. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 but the issue is I can't say I desire a relationship. that implies emotional drive. I anticipate that at some point I'll seek one out but, I feel no need for one. I like to be alone. it gets kinda complicated, really... Demisexual is having sexual attraction; the impulse to do sexual things to/with someone, after a certain bond. And asexuals can have sex, they just don't have the impulse to do it. Demiromantic is having romantic feelings after a certain bond (ya know, the soft/fuzzy feelings), and nothing more; it has nothing to do with romantic-drive/drive to be in a romantic relationship. It's possible to have no romantic-drive, not to be confused with a desire to not be in a relationship but it refers to indifference. If you're indifferent of romantic reciprocation then there's the term romance indifferent which has been given the orientation title of Apathromantic; root word being apathy. And there's its sex indifferent equivalent with Apathsexual. If you're just open to the possibility of it changing then there is aroflexible and aceflexible (after the term heteroflexible) or you could put it as flexible aro ace. I think demi-concent should be a term, but it's not. If you only feel comfortable with having sex after a certain bond then it sounds useful. But if you're going off of a "maybe I'd be ok with sex if..." then i suggest only making your orientation out of current facts; if it changes then you can change it. Link to post Share on other sites
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