CNGB Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Hi, guys! I'm not exactly sure if this topic would be more appropriate in this section or the Asexual Q&A, but hopefully I guessed right. :3 I've been here for more than a half a year here (wow. just realized that XD), and I still don't really understand the concept of squishes. What exactly is the difference between them and someone you meet that you really want to be great friends with? Link to post Share on other sites
ZUT Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 You want to know them very well...best friends, cuddle buddies :) even romantic friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Perseus Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 It is a desire for a platonic relationship. It is non-sexual and non-romantic equivalent to a crush. Link to post Share on other sites
Flyaway4me Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 For me its similar to a crush, but it's not romantic or sexual [for the most part]. Here's a link for a previous post I made about the topic ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Arf Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 For me, there's a bit of a weird, gut feeling that is distinctive about it. If I just want to be friends with someone, I'm just like, "It would be cool if we were friends, this person seems really neat, I should ask them to lunch, ho hum." But if I have a squish on them, I get excited when I see them (my heart rate might increase), I might be nervous around them, I might find them aesthetically or sensually attractive. There is a little bit of irrationality in both squishes and crushes. Link to post Share on other sites
CNGB Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 For me its similar to a crush, but it's not romantic or sexual [for the most part]. Here's a link for a previous post I made about the topic ^_^ For me, there's a bit of a weird, gut feeling that is distinctive about it. If I just want to be friends with someone, I'm just like, "It would be cool if we were friends, this person seems really neat, I should ask them to lunch, ho hum." But if I have a squish on them, I get excited when I see them (my heart rate might increase), I might be nervous around them, I might find them aesthetically or sensually attractive. There is a little bit of irrationality in both squishes and crushes. Okay, now it makes sense. XD Thank y'all (and everyone else) for taking the time to explain it to me! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Squirrel Combat Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I had a squish on this girl which I like a lot now. So now I have a crush on her. That's your difference. ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Miav-desu Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 For me, there's a bit of a weird, gut feeling that is distinctive about it. If I just want to be friends with someone, I'm just like, "It would be cool if we were friends, this person seems really neat, I should ask them to lunch, ho hum." But if I have a squish on them, I get excited when I see them (my heart rate might increase), I might be nervous around them, I might find them aesthetically or sensually attractive. There is a little bit of irrationality in both squishes and crushes. How dose it feel diffrence having a chrush and having a squish? Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 The difference between a crush and a squish is the same as the difference between romance and friendship. Both are just as intense, but except in a few ambiguous crushes, the two types of feelings involved are quite different, as different as feelings for a lover and feelings for a brother. To be honest, I don't really like using the word "squish" because it induces comparison with romance and attraction, and confusion in people's minds. Link to post Share on other sites
Miav-desu Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I know they refern to platonic or romantic feelings but I have no idea how to seperate those feelings maybe I should make a thread about it? Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysADreamer Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 My definition of a squish - a very strong desire to be friends. My definition of a crush - a very strong desire to be romantically involved. Ex) I have a squish on a guy. I would very much like to develop a deeper friendship with him, but not go into the romantic part. Link to post Share on other sites
Fire & Rain Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Well, I'm not interested in socializing with anyone. I'm also very reserved and aloof. A few friends I have... we became friends because we have to see each other everyday. I was never like "I WANT TO GET TO KNOW THIS PERSON AND BE A PART OF THEIR LIVES!! I ADMIRE THEM SO MUCH!! I want to share my thoughts and feelings with them and for them to do the same thing with me!" Sorry for the caps XD So, I can tell very easily due to my usual lack of interest into befriending anyone. With my squishes I was very initiative and I only squish of lone wolves so I really had to try to get to know them :) I'm not gonna go through any of this just to be friends with random people :/ Link to post Share on other sites
DigbyDriver Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I've known for a long time that I'm asexual and androgynous, though I've only known for a few years that they actually had words for it, but I never knew that there was a word to describe the weird attraction I occasionally had for people. I'm so glad I found this today. I waited until well past puberty before ever telling anyone about my lack of sexual attraction or androgyny just to make sure it was something permanent, but even when I was sure about all that, I thought the "crushes" I had were just something extra weird. It's such a relief to know it's not such an odd thing after all. Actually, I just joined this site recently for the specific purpose of researching about these feelings because lately I've developed a squish for the first time in years. I'm aromantic, which has been another new word for old feelings, and usually I'm ok with my own company or with the company of my twin sister or my best friend of 15 years. Teaching and my various hobbies keep me busy and happy. However, a few months ago, we hired a new band teacher who is friends with another couple I went to college with and who also teach at my school. Within a month, I craved being around him, which is not normal at all for me. I thought it might be related to my INTJ tendency to obsess when I find something new I really like, but it's been a long time since that was ever attached to a person. He's also an INTJ, which is what originally drew the fascination, and then it turned out we had a ton of similar interests. I've tried to be casual, but I really want to be friends. It's complicated further by androgyny and the fact that I forget pretty frequently that I'm not actually a guy. This isn't usually a problem since I'm comfortable with my body as well as both genders and the fact that I'm usually shifted into male gear most of the time. However, I also don't get squishes often and I don't want to make him uncomfortable. He's married and I've met his wife several times at faculty things. I've purposely tried to be friends even though I'm not always great at that with women. I've tried to only stop and chat when I actually have something relevant to talk about or I just wait until Fridays when we co-teach an elective because I'm terrified other staff members, especially the married couple we both have as common friends, will think I'm crushing on our obviously married co-worker. I don't know if I want advice or sympathy/empathy. Basically, I'm not sure how to handle the situation. This guy could be an awesome friend and I enjoy being around him in a way I don't often associate with people, students excluded. I'd like to be able to explain everything, but I don't want to word vomit or over share if no one has even questioned my attempts to be friends. He seems to be happy to chat and talk about the things we like, and he actually laughs and smiles when he's usually pretty solemn. But I also get the feeling he's been avoiding me so I've backed off entirely. I'm a little miserable. I don't know if he got the wrong message or if it's something unrelated to me, so I'm reluctant to explain because everything about my preference and identity is a little confusing even now when I have words to describe it better. Plus, he could also just be done with people for a bit, which I could totally understand from another INTJ or just as a person who has already shown himself to be as private and slow to share personal details as I am. I don't often have feelings that are this hard to process and I just want my friend back, even if it's just to share a nice comfortable silence while we run the sound booth together for our elective. Lately that silence and has seemed stressed, even though for a while I had a strong impression it was mutually enjoyed. Though I've learned new lingo for an old feeling, I still can't figure out if I love or hate these squishes because they make me feel too many things at once and most of them aren't complimentary or compatible. As an English teacher, the feeling of a squish sounds like something a really good piece of writing should evoke, but it kinda just sucks, and hurts my heart, and forces me to join forums looking for answers to questions I don't even have the right vocabulary for. Link to post Share on other sites
Perseus Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I have squishes with people I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
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