Types of compromise what have you thought of

[Touchofinsight]

I am currently writing a piece for asexuals on "Coming out" to their prospective partners.

Now part of this piece is going to talk about compromise and I know of the "Big three" and I just wanted to see if there were any other alternatives that I am missing.

1. Compromise sex, meaning you have sex or participate in sexual acts to make your partner happy on a mutually agreed upon terms. So this can go either way, the sexual person compromising to only have sex so much, or different forms of sex etc.

2. Open relationship, polyamory etc.

3. The sexual person goes without willingly to make the relationship work.

Are there any other special circumstances, compromises, or scenarios that you think should be addressed recognized or spoken about?

I have been writing this off and on for the last couple of weeks and hope to make it "pinned worthy". (Lots and lots of revision) I see this topic talked about quite often and would like to create a informative resource for those new and old. Something to give back to the community here.

Thanks for your time!

[Percivel]

In my case, and this probably falls into the compromise category, but you can decide that, we don't have a compromise. Certainly not a verbalized one, anyway. My ace doesn't want to talk about our sexual/intimacy issues nor about frequency. I tried talking compromise to her but she doesn't want to make a commitment. You might say that we have a non-verbal compromise, though. My wife is the only initiator. When she feels the lack of sex/intimacy is getting too much for me to handle, she will initiate. Sometimes her initiation seems to be because she's tired of dealing with me being miserable, other times it seems it's because she is being loving and wanting to please me. Either way, our unspoken "understanding" is that she will provide when I need it. But this has never been discussed or agreed upon. So, I remain in a sort of limbo having to wholly trust in her that she will provide when I need it. The results are mixed.

[Tjirpling]

I don't know if it could work (it probably could for some, given how diverse people are), but there's a logical slot available in your current set-up, opposite of the "sexual partner willingly going without". If the asexual in the relationship doesn't feel the sexual desire but doesn't mind having sex, they could potentially agree to engage in it when their partner wants to (or at a frequency their partner's happy with).

You could also theoretically do something opposite of polyamory - instead of going somewhere else to have sex with someone else, the sexual could stick to staying home and doing it with their own hands/toys, potentially openly if their asexual partner didn't find it weird? This is like a compromise but with less dependency. Compromise can be so very many things, though.