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ApplePie

Masturbating A's: what do you think about when masturbating?

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em3
On 7/24/2005 at 7:28 PM, ApplePie said:

Question for those who identify as asexual and masturbate: what do you think about when you masturbate to assist in arousal, if anything?

I appreciate this may be very personal, hence many will understandably choose not to answer.

Why I ask: this is one of the most basic questions posed by psychosexual therapists to get an insight into the sexual interest(s) of a person or to understand the nature of a sexual dysfunction. It's a question sometimes answered untruthfully or hesitantly (particularly at initial consultations) and is highly useful.

Related thread which provoked this question: Question for A's who masturbate

I'm about as aromantic as they get, but I usually spend years fantasizing about 1 single person and even then its almost never about penetrating sex, and only about them running their hands up and down my body, possibly including my groin area.  Or sometimes it is about playing with boobs. I like boobs. :-)

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nate-1234
1 minute ago, em3 said:

I'm about as aromantic as they get, but I usually spend years fantasizing about 1 single person and even then its never about sex, and only about them running their hands up and down my body.  Or sometimes it is about playing with boobs. I like boobs. :-)

Agreed.

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will123
4 hours ago, Tirisilex said:

I just focus on the pleasure of the orgasm.. I don't really think of a person for me I kind of consider thinking of a person while masturbating mental rape. I dont have that persons permission to think about them sexually so I feel it is like rape in a mental sense. Kind of like what Jesus said about Lusting after someone in your heart while being married is the same as Adultery.

Other than two girls I knew of in the early 90s, I can't think of a real person while masturbating. My reason may not be as strong as yours, but just wrong in my mind.

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will123
4 hours ago, em3 said:

I'm about as aromantic as they get, but I usually spend years fantasizing about 1 single person and even then its almost never about penetrating sex, and only about them running their hands up and down my body, possibly including my groin area.  Or sometimes it is about playing with boobs. I like boobs. :-)

 

4 hours ago, nate-1234 said:

Agreed.

X2

When I'm looking at porn I'm more focused on breasts than genitalia.

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em3
1 hour ago, will123 said:

 

X2

When I'm lloking at porn I'm more focused on breasts than genitalia.

 

3 hours ago, nate-1234 said:

Agreed.

Interesting.  Because I have 0 attraction to genitalia, male or female.  I was molested as a kid, yet I suspect I am naturally asexual about genitalia.  I honestly look at genitalia as though they are any other inanimate object.

8be3320e9967dd8133df231e33edff8b--so-fun

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Tirisilex

I was molested as a child and I'm now Sex repulsed. Not sure entirely if they are truly related.

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will123
6 minutes ago, em3 said:

 

Interesting.  Because I have 0 attraction to genitalia, male or female.  I was molested as a kid, yet I suspect I am naturally asexual about genitalia.  I honestly look at genitalia as though they are any other inanimate object.

8be3320e9967dd8133df231e33edff8b--so-fun

That's (fill in the blank)!

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nate-1234

I am also super aroused by certain PIV sex positions in porn while others do nothing for me. Also, it is almost always straight sex that turns me on the most. 

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Tirisilex
2 hours ago, will123 said:

Other than two girls I knew of in the early 90s, I can't think of a real person while masturbating. My reason may not be as strong as yours, but just wrong in my mind.

I usually dont masturbate.. When I do it's not out of desire but out of fear because I worry about my sexual energy being repressed to a point where I might explode in a sexual frenzy. So when I do masturbate it's just for a release nothing more.. Thats like once every 4 months.

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will123
32 minutes ago, nate-1234 said:

I am also super aroused by certain PIV sex positions in porn while others do nothing for me. Also, it is almost always straight sex that turns me on the most. 

Actually looking at pics or videos of PIV intercourse and I'm just, 'Meh". I don't like looking at it, but can fantasize about it.

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em3
2 hours ago, nate-1234 said:

I am also super aroused by certain PIV sex positions in porn while others do nothing for me. Also, it is almost always straight sex that turns me on the most. 

I'm more bisexual.  I mostly look for social situations, like doctor doing nurse, momma doing friend, bear daddy and boy...  Genitalia, like I said, never turn me on, but boobs and body shapes, and specifically muscles, really are sexy to me. Plus the idea of having a girl mount me is hot. Thats why I'm somewhere in between bisexual and asexual.

 

I'm also suspecting I'm transgender, but thats for another day.

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Laulena

I think of either nothing (my mind wanders), or I think of other people having sex. I literally can't picture anything first person, and it would gross me out a little bit to do so even if I could, I expect.

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here_on_the_morrow

I think about... nothing, mostly. It's like meditation where I'm just focusing on the present moment and the sensations in it. If I think about anything I can't get off.

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will123
3 hours ago, abby83 said:

I think about... nothing, mostly. It's like meditation where I'm just focusing on the present moment and the sensations in it. If I think about anything I can't get off.

I do it this way at times but the results aren't as impressive. Using my imagination, my orgasms are VERY intense. I can wake up feeling fully rested. After masturbating I feel COMPLETELY spent. 

 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/caseygueren/your-brain-on-sex?utm_term=.yww6yMzo#.mi2pGaY1

 

Quote

This also explains why facial expressions made in the heat of an orgasm are similar to the grimaces we make when we’re in pain, he says.

And this:

 

Quote

The nucleus accumbens — the reward center of the brain — gets a flood of dopamine, which activates it and rewards you for all the sex. This area is also activated by addictive things — like chocolate, cocaine, caffeine, or nicotine, says Komisaruk. When it’s activated during sexy times, it’s possible that it could make you want to have even more sex, since it’s associated with this rewarding response. So, yeah, sex is basically like a drug.

 

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Tirisilex

I've compared sex to Heroin myself.. Sex can be just as dangerous when unprotected. I'm not sure if that's a true accusation but that's how I feel about it.

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heapinfrimp

I have an absurd quantity of drawings of anatomically-incorrect creatures much like this one, with similar poses and clothing priority.  I post them on the internet to attempt to justify the time spent on them, but using identities separate from the ones I use for my "normal" artwork because I am still ashamed of it.  But I still am cheating since I do not mark them as "mature" and most people do not realize it is smut.  And if I DID mark them thusly, I would surely be laughed at for it.  But I do not develop the "characters" further than these basic shots because I feel like they are too tacky to deserve that.  Or that I do not deserve it because I designed them foremost for that other purpose.  EVEN THOUGH mass media is FILLED with characters that surely were invented primarily for that same purpose.

unmutantcf67ffff6.jpg

I have no idea where this intense fixation came from, but at FIRST, when I was 11 or 12 maybe, just about any conspicuously genital-less thing would do, and it became much more strict over time.

Making the pictures does become like a harmful drug when getting them just right occupies a significant portion of the day and serves no other purpose (and is not even guaranteed to work).

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Ilovecake
On 25/07/2005 at 5:42 AM, Vicious Trollop said:

At the risk of sounding like a 12-year-old girl, I almost invariably think of fictional characters. My thoughts have never involved people I know, and they have never involved myself.

I guess that if you think of someone (fictional or real) that means you are demi sexual or grey ace? Is that correct?

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heapinfrimp

In my situation, it is not a thought of wanting to have intercourse with the characters.  I would not want anybody to see me in any pertinent state nor naked for any reason.

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Yeast

I browse internet pornography. The only things I don't like are domination and seeing people get hurt. Most of the rest of this is my usual fodder, even the rather kinky stuff.  I enjoy pictures and movies only as a voyeur and don't imagine myself ever participating. As I've aged I notice that I'm beginning to become attracted to men, either gays or transsexuals. With the latter, one has the best of both sexes. Some are incredibly beautiful. I've been collecting this stuff for decades and I find the old material more stimulating than what I find today. I suppose I've become bisexual in a purely virtual sense and a bit romantic regarding my first loves.

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Raire

As many have said, these days I don't think about more than the act itself when I'm seeking release. 

 

In days of yore when I was trying to find something that I would be attracted to (fictional or real) the Internet was my go-to for almost anything. But more often than not, that was desperation to seek out some method of being (what I presumed to be) normal with sexual attractions. Naturally I found a whole load of things that I could definitely say were NOT turn-ons for me!

 

Maybe in a way the whole (admittedly excessive) procedure burnt out that ill-realised desperation, and let me accept how I felt... or didn't feel. 

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fto1818

I used to use porn a lot before learning I was really asexual. So prior my thoughts were influenced by what i was watching.

 

Now i don’t really think of anything specific. It’s much more a mechanical thing than a sensual thing for me.

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heapinfrimp

I had this issue before I even knew what "gay" was, much less asexual.  It was frustrating for a number of years to have people trying to tell me I was "gay" even though I thought people of my own biology (perhaps in part because I hated it on myself so much) were even grosser while naked than those who were born the other way.

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Entmoot

I think about a specific person--either a celebrity or fictional character--and certain aspects of their body, sometimes in a way that could be categorized as a fetish (I'm being intentionally vague here out of timidness...hey, it's my first post here). But I realized something important today while browsing some research articles on sexual fantasies: while my fantasies are technically sexual in that I imagine certain visual stimuli in order to get aroused, they almost never contain any sexual acts (at most maybe kissing). I'm certainly never involved! So in academic terms, I suppose I have no subjective sexual fantasies, which is in line with my actual behavior (and lack thereof) toward others in the real world.

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will123
2 hours ago, Yeast said:

I browse internet pornography. The only things I don't like are domination and seeing people get hurt. Most of the rest of this is my usual fodder, even the rather kinky stuff.  I enjoy pictures and movies only as a voyeur and don't imagine myself ever participating. As I've aged I notice that I'm beginning to become attracted to men, either gays or transsexuals. With the latter, one has the best of both sexes. Some are incredibly beautiful. I've been collecting this stuff for decades and I find the old material more stimulating than what I find today. I suppose I've become bisexual in a purely virtual sense and a bit romantic regarding my first loves.

Read a couple of my topics about masturbation and fantasy. I've pretty much switched to thinking about sex with another male for the past year.

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Ciera Rae
Spoiler
Spoiler

 

 

I imagine my dream men that don't exist that I even know of.

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InariYana

I don't think about anything most of the time :D 

I just concentrate on the sensation without any thoughts in my head. I'm like... one with the sensation and that's it. My mind is really quiet then.

Mastur-meditation? Mindful masturbation? :lol:  

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The Gnat (Natalie)
On 7/24/2005 at 11:42 PM, Vicious Trollop said:

At the risk of sounding like a 12-year-old girl, I almost invariably think of fictional characters. My thoughts have never involved people I know, and they have never involved myself.

Seconded

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will123

(quote edited out at quoted poster's request)

 

Because you can. Ive discussed a lot of things on AVEN that I would never talking about with even a really close friend.

Edited by TheAP
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jordiexbirdie
On 7/25/2005 at 12:42 AM, Vicious Trollop said:

At the risk of sounding like a 12-year-old girl, I almost invariably think of fictional characters. My thoughts have never involved people I know, and they have never involved myself.

OMG ME TOO! For some reason it’s always gay sex too, between two guys...and I’m a girl...I’ve never imagined someone else with me.

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Stefania

I consider myself an androgynous transgender (born male). Had 5 important relations (3/4 years each) with girlfriends before starting hormones. Sexual fantasies have been fundamentals to satisfy my partners desires (I never felt comfortable with my male body and I had to use fantasies). For several years before transitioning the subject of them was to imagine/identify myself as an elegant, classy and sexy woman handled by rude workers (concentrating mostly on their powerful bodies and avoiding their eyes and faces). Pornography choices, since 12, ever reflected this plot in masturbation.
Nevertheless, trying to make reality these fantasies, I had to be deeply doped to avoid all the disturbing as concomitant feelings (my education never gave me the chance to accept a submitted role while in a man body).
After hormones and the changes in my body/look I reduced my masturbation episodes and I learned to abandone myself to a more genuine romancing, enjoying the feeling of gazes, touches and kisses (both with men and women) with no interest to go further.
Masturbation today, when it happens (once a week at max), is the same as ever: essentially S/M situations (no bondage) using well experimented porn-videos, reaching a rapid onset and a stronger orgasm than the ones in my male past (the quicker I come, the better, anyway).
I enjoy soft porn (for women) and I can relax taking my time and watching them with no need to masturbate.
I don't know if this reflects an "asexual" condition, but talking with friends of both sex (as well as other transgenders), I don't feel orphan of a richer sexual life (as all the people I talk to seem to be).
I can't stay months without having a physical relation but I enjoy a lot friendship, romancing, petting and in some cases foreplay (my problem is that human beings generally wants more and probably need more).
Well, sorry for my awful English. This is me 🙂

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