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Can we settle this once and for all? Do sexuals get sexually attracted to strangers?


Neurula

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I've looked this up in the search box before, but didn't get a definitive answer. Who are the objects of the sexual attraction that sexuals experience? Do they get sexually attracted to strangers?

Celebrities..."Orlando Bloom is so hot, wish I could fuck him."

Significant others..."My girlfriend looks so hot in her jeans, can't wait to have sex with her after work."

Crushes..."Sarah is so cute, I have a huge crush on her, I want to see her tits."

Acquaintances and people you see occasionally..."The bagboy at Kroger could totally hit this!"

Random people and total strangers... "I want to bang that girl crossing the street."

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Everyone is different, just like not all asexuals are repulsed. For me personally, I experience sexual attraction to my husband. I don't think about sex with strangers. There is no definitive answer because plenty of people would find those examples don't apply to them and plenty would...another group of people might just say those things without actually meaning it.

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Most of my friends are sexuals and most definitely yes. They can feel attraction to strangers and have one night stands where they've known the person only 2-3 hours. They also can imagine/want to have sex with people they have no prior relationship if they are considered attractive enough; that could be: a celebrity, a bartender, prostitute or a total stranger on a bus and anyone in between. Just to make it clear, this isn't romantic attraction where they want to have a full relationship or aesthetic attraction like appreciating particular qualities etc. Most of the time it is primal sexual attraction.

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Yes. In my experience as a former sexual myself anyway.

As a former sexual going by the "Intrinsic interest into sex" with a specific group of people definition, I can attest to this.

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As a current sexual and with lots of sexual acquaintances and friends, I still say it varies...a lot. That kind of generalizing of all sexual people just isn't accurate.

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Most of my friends are sexuals and most definitely yes. They can feel attraction to strangers and have one night stands where they've known the person only 2-3 hours. They also can imagine/want to have sex with people they have no prior relationship if they are considered attractive enough; that could be: a celebrity, a bartender, prostitute or a total stranger on a bus and anyone in between. Just to make it clear, this isn't romantic attraction where they want to have a full relationship or aesthetic attraction like appreciating particular qualities etc. Most of the time it is primal sexual attraction.

I guess I somehow never connected the dots...I know of one night stands and prostitutes, but I thought maybe those people are just horny. Perhaps they just really want to have sex, and would prefer to do it with a stranger/prostitute they find particularly good looking. I didn't think they were actually looking at the person and then having some sort of sensation and hunger for sex. But then again, I only knew of sexual attraction since December 2013 lol.

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Absolutely, I am sexual and feel different degrees of attraction to many women, even complete strangers. It's mostly an automatic aesthetic response.
But it's not necessarily linked to romance. The girl I like is not objectively very pretty, but to me she could't look any cuter.

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WhenSummersGone

I think if some people can experience romantic attraction to strangers, like myself, then it's possible to be sexually attracted to strangers as well. While this doesn't count much I have had two deep romantic crushes that lead to sexual feelings faster. I still question if they were romantic and not just sexual. So it's possible even if you just experience it once or twice but I would say for most people they experience it more.

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I've looked this up in the search box before, but didn't get a definitive answer. Who are the objects of the sexual attraction that sexuals experience? Do they get sexually attracted to strangers?

Celebrities..."Orlando Bloom is so hot, wish I could fuck him."

Significant others..."My girlfriend looks so hot in her jeans, can't wait to have sex with her after work."

Crushes..."Sarah is so cute, I have a huge crush on her, I want to see her tits."

Acquaintances and people you see occasionally..."The bagboy at Kroger could totally hit this!"

Random people and total strangers... "I want to bang that girl crossing the street."

In general, yes, sexuals feel sexually attracted to all of the above. But this doesn't mean that they actually want to have sex with the people they're sexually attracted to. It can sometimes just be a feeling or momentary thought. It's not much different than noticing someone's good looks, really, except that it comes along with sexual attraction.

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Yes, they do.

Claiming otherwise is taking a poop on science.

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Touchofinsight

Yes it does happen, has happened, and will happen. Obviously I think we can all talk without having to use clarifying terms like "some" or "many" those should be assumed unless other wise stated.

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Well, if we divide people into demisexuals, asexuals, and sexuals, then people who don't experience sexual attraction are asexuals, people who only experience sexual attraction when they know someone well are demis, and people who experience it quickly are sexuals. So it's kind of true by definition.

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Yes, they do.

Claiming otherwise is taking a poop on science.

Some do and some don't. Claiming so is saying that people vary. I don't think clarifying that not all people are the same in this regard goes against science at all.

Science usually measures arousal and in that regard, many self identified asexuals would be experiencing "sexual attraction". Science also says that most women experience sexual attraction like demisexuals...but they aren't considered demisexual.

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Down in Texas

I am a Highly Sexual Female age of 61. For me there has to be an emotional connection before I am sexually attracted to a person. Even when I was in High School and only had "A Crush" on a boy and sex had not been experienced as of yet, they were still based on the other person being kind an thoughtful. I did not feel as if I was attractive back then and all of the "Good Looking" boys never looked at me sexually. Just looking at them did NOTHING to me or for me. It was the ones that were polite and kind that triggered my sexual awareness.

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IceAngelChild

People are different..

Not all sexuals feel a one night stand or just experience sexual attraction to strangers.

Take note that there is also "Demisexual" which means a close emotional bond is required to experience sexual attraction.

As an Asexual and a Virgin, I never felt any need to act on physical contact with people who I think is hot, I'm just really curious of why people wanted to have physical contacts and pleasurements but realize that I really don't want that :)

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I think the important thing to remember here is that even though we sexuals may feel sexual attraction/desire towards a wide

variety of people, that doesn't mean we are going to act on it. The distinction between attraction and behavior is key.
For example, one of my friends here at Uni is in her early 30's (34 i think?) and we were talking sexual attraction and

about how there are certain points of the month when all she could think about was having sex with the male professors she had

and there were times in which she was totally sexually repulsed, it just depended on the day.

I think it varies quite a bit with me as well, for example, there are times in which I am burning with sexual attraction,

and there are times when i can see someone who i previously found incredibly sexy and be like
"oh, they look nice today" and never think anything else of it.

I don't think its something we can "settle" once and for all though. Too much variability

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WhenSummersGone

I am a Highly Sexual Female age of 61. For me there has to be an emotional connection before I am sexually attracted to a person. Even when I was in High School and only had "A Crush" on a boy and sex had not been experienced as of yet, they were still based on the other person being kind an thoughtful. I did not feel as if I was attractive back then and all of the "Good Looking" boys never looked at me sexually. Just looking at them did NOTHING to me or for me. It was the ones that were polite and kind that triggered my sexual awareness.

This is similar to how I feel, but for me it could take a month or more to feel actually interested in having sex with someone I'm dating, and I'm not really abstaining unless I'm just really good at it.

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Down in Texas

For example, one of my friends here at Uni is in her early 30's (34 i think?) and we were talking sexual attraction and about how there are certain points of the month when all she could think about was having sex with the male professors she had and there were times in which she was totally sexually repulsed, it just depended on the day.

This is very typical for most females. THAT "certain point of the month" is usually the day that most woman are the most fertile. Most woman will have a higher peak of sexual arousal during the middle of their cycle when they ovulate. This is when most woman or the most sexually attracted and want sex the most.

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Yes, they do. Claiming otherwise is taking a poop on science.

Some do and some don't. Claiming so is saying that people vary. I don't think clarifying that not all people are the same in this regard goes against science at all.Science usually measures arousal and in that regard, many self identified asexuals would be experiencing "sexual attraction". Science also says that most women experience sexual attraction like demisexuals...but they aren't considered demisexual.

Arousal and attraction are completely different. Measuring women's arousal won't tell you anything about attraction. In addition genitals can become physically aroused even when the person isn't mentally aroused, so measuring genital arousal doesn't actually tell you anything about mental arousal either.

What do you mean when you say science says that most women experience sexual attraction like demis? That seems surprising and doesn't seem true... are you saying there's research saying most women never feel attracted to people they don't know well? Do you have a link?

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Not all sexuals feel a one night stand.

Um, a one night stand is something one does, not something one feels.

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In addition genitals can become physically aroused even when the person isn't mentally aroused, so measuring genital arousal doesn't actually tell you anything about mental arousal either.

I really wish I could get my boyfriend to understand that one. He insists if someone is physically aroused, they are into it - because he, personally doesn't experience random erections and says he only has them when he actually wants them. It's very frustrating trying to explain that not every human being can control their physical arousal. o.O

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Arousal and attraction are completely different. Measuring women's arousal won't tell you anything about attraction. In addition genitals can become physically aroused even when the person isn't mentally aroused, so measuring genital arousal doesn't actually tell you anything about mental arousal either.

What do you mean when you say science says that most women experience sexual attraction like demis? That seems surprising and doesn't seem true... are you saying there's research saying most women never feel attracted to people they don't know well? Do you have a link?

When I said that about arousal, I meant in relation to sexual attraction...the arousal that one can get from sexual attraction and non physical stimulation only. I think Bogaert talks about some of those studies in his asexuality book. Attraction, behavior, and desire are all a part of sexuality and they are sometimes different for males than females. How each individual thinks about these things has an affect on our feelings as well.

I don't have a link, but I can try to find the source. It's from a book I read and has to do with feeling safe, trusting the other person, and potentially choosing a life mate and possible father for children. A coworker who took a human sexuality course also talked about this aspect of attraction for many women. It's not really that surprising to me. A lot of the women I know don't want to have sex on the first date, they want to get to know the person first.

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Arousal and attraction are completely different. Measuring women's arousal won't tell you anything about attraction. In addition genitals can become physically aroused even when the person isn't mentally aroused, so measuring genital arousal doesn't actually tell you anything about mental arousal either.

What do you mean when you say science says that most women experience sexual attraction like demis? That seems surprising and doesn't seem true... are you saying there's research saying most women never feel attracted to people they don't know well? Do you have a link?

When I said that about arousal, I meant in relation to sexual attraction...the arousal that one can get from sexual attraction and non physical stimulation only. I think Bogaert talks about some of those studies in his asexuality book. Attraction, behavior, and desire are all a part of sexuality and they are sometimes different for males than females. How each individual thinks about these things has an affect on our feelings as well.

As far as I know, there's no way of distinguishing sexual arousal that comes from sexual attraction and sexual arousal that doesn't. Many asexuals experience arousal for different reasons, but that doesn't mean they experience sexual attraction.

I don't have a link, but I can try to find the source. It's from a book I read and has to do with feeling safe, trusting the other person, and potentially choosing a life mate and possible father for children. A coworker who took a human sexuality course also talked about this aspect of attraction for many women. It's not really that surprising to me. A lot of the women I know don't want to have sex on the first date, they want to get to know the person first.

It's incredibly surprising to me -- so much so that I'm pretty sure it's not correct. Unless we have very different definitions of sexual attraction here.

Of course a lot of women (and men also) don't want to have sex right away and would prefer to get to know the person first. But they're still sexually attracted - they're just not ready for sex.

Demisexuality is incredibly unusual. For most women (and men also), sexual attraction is there early on, even if it's only in a small way and even if it doesn't lead to sex. Most women feel at least a little spark of sexual attraction sometimes, from the way someone looks, the way they speak, someone's talents or skills, or any other little thing, and it doesn't take months of getting to know someone and building a connection first for them to feel that little spark.

I'd love to know more about this, though -- I might be wrong, and in any case, I'd like to hear about the book you read.

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This is what I usually go by for the definition of sexual attraction:

Sexual attraction is attraction on the basis of sexual desire or the quality of arousing such interest.

If I find the book I'll let you know. It doesn't seem unusual at all to me, it does to you. You think a lot differently about sex than I do, so the fact that you find this unbelievable doesn't seem unusual to me either.

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I really wish I could get my boyfriend to understand that one. He insists if someone is physically aroused, they are into it - because he, personally doesn't experience random erections and says he only has them when he actually wants them. It's very frustrating trying to explain that not every human being can control their physical arousal. o.O

It's hard for me to say personally considering I doubt I've ever experienced it, but I hear it's something that can still happen to people like rape victims. I doubt that means they are "into it"

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This is what I usually go by for the definition of sexual attraction:

Sexual attraction is attraction on the basis of sexual desire or the quality of arousing such interest.

If I find the book I'll let you know. It doesn't seem unusual at all to me, it does to you. You think a lot differently about sex than I do, so the fact that you find this unbelievable doesn't seem unusual to me either.

So if a woman were to feel some spark of arousal or desire from someone's voice, accent, appearance, or anything else, but not actually want to have sex with the person, would you consider that sexual attraction?

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Many of my (male) friends have told me that they are sexually attracted, to varying degrees, to EVERY adult female. No exceptions. Others of my (male) friends have told me that although they are slightly attracted to most women, they cannot actually enjoy sex unless it is with somebody they have a long standing relationship with.

I have never had a really frank conversation with a woman about her sexuality.

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Definitely varies among sexuals...I actually realized because my gf came out to me as asexual that really when I feel aroused by someone I actually just think about aggressively making out with them. I do sometimes have thoughts of explicit sexual acts but those kind of thoughts only happen about people I have had intercourse with or sexual acts I have done with my current partner.

Not sure how much you care but I think it's cool to see that as much as asexuals vary from repulsed, not replused, gray As, demi sexuals, even those that do experience sexual attraction vary greatly. I mean for example I have literally never seen someone and thought "I want to have sexual intercourse with them" I think "hey that person is attractive or hott or sexy or whatever" but really I'm just thinking about pseudosexual activities and I happen to enjoy sexual activities but have never enjoyed them on my own...which I donno to some people could make me some version of asexual but I don't see it that way...just an interesting way to think of it.

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