ThaHoward

Translated Norwegian articles about Asexuality.

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ThaHoward

Okay, I'll be posting articles about asexuality here in Norwegian, and translating them. Keep in mind that is seen from the frame of refferences from the Norwegian society and asexuals, which might differ from your local society. And I'm not a professional translator :P So that's why it might sound a little weird :blush:

And if any Norwegians (or any other) have articles that can be translated, want to correct some of what I've written and/or got a translated article don't hesitate saying so here or over a PM :)

Why I am doing this? To get as much information and articles about asexuality here on AVEN, and let others read it and maybe get a better understanding. Also it is a good way to get many viewpoints on asexuality, and look if it is anything most articles have in common, and what people who get interviewed and doing visibility should try to get out there which is not emphasied by most articles. And to look at common miscomceptions, myths and so on. It may not only be used for those living in Norway, but also other asexuals.

Translated articles:

So the first one: "Meg får du aldri!" - "Me you'll never get me!"http://www.klikk.no/helse/dinkropp/samliv/article481917.ece Interview with an asexual. Reflects around her challenges and what kind of relationship she would like.

Translation:

Website: klikk.no Date:24th of July 2009.

Pictures, quotes and factsheet:

​Pictures:

Picture 1: - This is why "Liv" never gets horny © ILLUSTRASJONSFOTO: Crestock

​Picture 2: Asexual: "No interest for sexual contact, no sexual desires/libido, apatchic in regard og sex" Source: Det store norske leksikon.

​Picture 3: Anomonous: The 22 year old woman we have interviewed do not wish to come out with he name and picture in fear of peoples judgement and prejudices. All the pictures in the article is illustrational pictures. © Foto: Crestock

​Picture 4: CLOSENESS WITHOUT SEX: To lay close by, kiss and hug the boyfriend is not awakening any sexual attrction with our source. © Illustrasjonsfoto: Crestock

​Picture 5: CLOSED LEGS: The 22 year old would rather help others and adopt children, than having sex or giving birth herself. © Illustrasjonsfoto: Crestock

Quotes:

​Quote 1: "I react on a sexscene on TV like others react to looking at people getting shot or stabbed with a knife"

​Quote 2: "I can picture as having intercourse. Then I hope that he understand that it is not something I'm interested in doing everyday"

Factsheet:

​Asexuals on the web. ​

It exist a website that is similar to Facebook for asexuals: Acebook.

​You can also find the international asexual organization for asexuals: Aven (the Asexual Visibility and Education Network)

Headline 1: Asexuality - this is why "Liv" never gets horny.

Headline no. 2: You'll never get me!

Intro headline: Asexuality is also an orientation [literal: to be asexual is also an orientation], claims woman (22).

Article: "Liv" is hanging out downtown with a friend. A guy is clingin and refuse to be rejected. Then she finally burts. Provoked she scream out her biggest secret.

- I am not interested. I am asexual!

Secret "orientation"

But it doesn't help. The boy tries to pull her to himself. Her friend comes to the rescue.

-Are you not listening? She's asexual, she's yelling competing with the music from the steroes.

To this date it is just this one friend, and in addition two in her family, who knows that Liv is asexual.

- Asexuality is an [sexual] orientation, she says.

The boys are trying to get lucky

I have never been interested in anybody in that way. Considering it exist bisexuals who likes both boys and girls, it is logical that it also exist those who likes neither.

Liv is definately not the type that is dressing challenging [sexually, to get others attracted]. Her style is neutral, almost boyish. Black kajal [indian top], pale skin and Norse silver jewerly hints that she often listen to Black Metal. At the same time she is pretty, and it is not unusual that the boys tries to get lucky.

No masturbation

Liv is 22 years old and have never had sex. She have tried to masturbate, but found out it is nothing for her.

And she have never seen a porn movie. If it is a nude scene in a movie, she skips the scene or leaves the room for some minutes.

I'm really not interested. I experience a sex scene on TV like others experience to watch people get shot or stabbed with a knife. It is uncomfortable.

How can you be cuertain that you're asexual when you've never had sex?

I've read that if it is a feeling that out of nowhere appears, it might be hormonal. But I've always been like this. It may be compared to that very many are certain they are not homosexual - even if they have never tried to have intercourse with one of the same sex..

Evade sex talk

The avertion is so prevelant that Liv admits it have from time to time been exhausting with all her friends sex talk. A little resinged she tells about situasjon from the girl's room - filled with happy friends..

"I have to get some, I've not had sex in a week", she mimicks while laughing.«Nå må jeg få meg noe, jeg har ikke hatt sex på en uke,» hermer hun lattermildt.

I remember I thought "Hm, is this how they think of this?" I actually believed for a long period of time that everyone else was lying when talking about sex. For me it is completely unnatural.

Why do one absolutely have to talk about it? I think it is unnecessairy, and is very little interested in hearing all the details. Just as little as I'm interested in the mandatory 15 minutes with sex scenes in virtually every movie.

Many predjudices.

Some might say you're a victim of something traumatical, like rape or something similar.

That is absolutely not the case, Liv rejects it while she devoted shake her head.

Some of what she fear the most by coming out of the closet, is the reactions from friends. That is the reason why she choose to be anomonous in the interview.

It is so many prejudices. You get labeled as unnormal, and many will say that I need to fix it. It is many who doesn't accept that others are different when it comes to this.

It sound a little lonely that so few know abou it.

Yeah, maybe it is [lonely].

Relationship without sex

Liv spend a lot time outside and enjoys spending time in the nature. The forest is some hundred meters from the house she's living in. there she can be many hours each day, while she listen to bands like Motörhead and Shining on her Mp3 player.

The questions regarding what she felt, or didn't feel in her body, erupted at the end of middle school [15 year olds].

I read alot. Spend a lot of time to think about many weird things. .

It is now several years since it ended between her and her boyfriend she was together with for two years in high school. When both of us came in the age it was usual to have intercourse, he got more and more persistent. Liv didn't want to tell him why she ended the relationship.

Personal

I didn't say it directly. Instead it became the classic "I don't think we are that a good match".

Why didn't you explain it to him?

It isn't something I want to shout out, I suppose. It is very personal.

Liv have taken relationships as far as kissing. She describes it as pleasant, but nothing more.

I feel intimate with the person I kiss, but it doesn't lead to anything "further". It is like holding someone in the hand, it is pleasant.

Get crushes/falls in love

But she is able to fall in love/crush. Liv estimate that she've been in love with in 3 boys this far.

I get attracted of a person mentally and can see if they are pretty or not, but it is like the body and the mind doesn't connect those two things together.

3 years ago Liv found the international organization for asexuals, Aven, on the internet. Then a lot made sense.

On there website I read about asexuality and I felt that the description fitted me. I quite manically read through those pages the next weeks, she smiles.

It was a relief.

Sex "everywhere"

Norwegian media write a lot about sex. One search in the media archive Ateskt shows that the newspapers have doubled their sex coverage in the past 10 years. Liv have seen a lot of commercials that focus'on sex.

- Sex is everywhere. If you're going to sell something as simple as soda, you play on sex. Everyone knows that it sells. But those commercials doesn't work on me.

I feel like a failure.

Liv means that asexuality is one of the greatest taboos in society.

Prior in our society homosexuality was seen as a disease, but now it is accepted. Furthermore it is accepted to have many partners or a lot of sex. The acceptance of people like me are smaller on the other hand. In a way I feel like a failed homosexual. For me, sex is completely wrong.

Asexual dating

Today Liv is certain about two things: She is asexual, and she want to be with a man. Asexuals who wants a relationship, is called romantic asexuals..

I've been thinking a lot about it lately. I definitaley want someone I can lay close to and sleep with [not sex].

The dream-man is also asexual, she explains. Bt the problem is obvious. Finding an asexual partner is not easy.

Tryes her luck in the big city

Like everyone else, I'm counting on meeting others through friends or when I'm out [like bars, nightclubs] The problem is that it is not many like me on a small plane. The goal is therefore to move to a bigger city during the fall.

It have happened she have met boys who wonders if she have the same orientation. .

But this might be a wish from my end, maybe I liked him so much that I started to picture him as an asexual. .

Sex as a compromise

What liv look the least forward to, is to tell a person about her orientation when she meets someone she want to be in a relationship with. Lately she have opened up to the thought of living with a heterosexual man.

I've been thinking a lot about it lately. It might work if we both truly love eacher, and is willing to compromise. It is not easy, but I do think we will have intercourse. I hope he will understand that it is not something I'm interested in doing each day.

Dreaming about a house, a man and a dog

Currenlty Liv is working in a store, but have signed up for studies during the fall. Despite black makeup and heavy metal, is her future dreams traditional. We're talking about a man, a dog and a red painted house with a white fence. .

I am picturing myself studying and finding a proffession,meet a guy and move together with him. Maybe we will live right outside of Oslo, close to the nature.

Wants to adopt

Kids are currently not a part of the plan, Liv admits, and points out that it might change in the future.

If that happens I would like to adopt. Why are we supposed to give birth, when it is so many in the world who needs a new home?

Enjoys being asexual

Liv don't want to get rid of her asexuality. If a "miracel cure" existed, she would have declined..

Then I wouldn't be me anymore. I don't understand why I'm supposed to change something, I enjoy being asexual. It is just a little more difficult finding someone I can be with.

Second article: "Aseksualitet: Kjærleik uten tenning" - "Asexuality: Love without sex." http://dusken.no/media/publications/2014/UD03.2914_1.pdf Article about asexuality in a student newspaper, where the week's edition focus on love. The article mostly focus on romantic asexuals and asexuals in relationships, and expert's opinions of asexuality. Article is based upon two Norwegian asexuals (one of them being me :P ) Also have an interview with the LGBT leader in Norway about asexuality.

Website: dusken.no Date: 11th of February 2014.

The main article:

Table of contents:

Asexuality

Around one percent us don't get sexual attracted.

Page 20-21, article front:

Love without sex

Around one percent of Norwegians are asexual. Howard (19) never think of naked girls.

Facts, pictures and quotes:

Fact boxes, page 22:

Facts about Asexuality

  • Asexuality is defined as no sexual attraction.
  • In contrast to celibacy, which is an active choice, asexuality is a natural part of one self.
  • According to numbers from SSB [government's bueara for that gathers statistics and numbers] 1.3% of the [Norwegian] population have 0 sexual desires[attraction].
  • No one in Norway have currently said they are asexual in public.
  • It is different kinds of asexuals, one example is heteroromantic asexuals. That is one get romantically, but not sexually, attracted to the opposite sex [and/or gender].
Facts about AVEN:
  • Asexuals primarly use the internet as a meeting place and informational medium.
  • The internet forum AVEN (The Asexual Visibility & Education Network) is the biggest and was founded in 2001.
  • AVEN have around 60 000 members.
  • Nationalities from the entire world is represented, as well as Norwegians.
  • The topics include: sexuality, gender identity, love and daily interests.

Page 23, quote and picture:

""You can fake it and make it" for a while, but after a while it becomes so [swearing] that you don't want to do it anymore" - "Stian" (33).

Picture: Sex isn't for everyone: Howard have experienced to be laughed at/mocked when he was on AVEN at school. He say he have been met with little understanding from other sexuals.

Picture and quote, page 24:

Picture: Expert at love: Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair believes believes that having sex with something that "just lays there" evetytime can get boring in the long run. - The best would be to find someone who are as little interested as yourself, he says.

Quote one: "It is perfectly normal to not want sex,but it is not usual". Leif Edward Oteesen Kennar. Psychologist and scientist at NTNU.

Quote two: "People say it doesn't exist, that only losers are asexual, and that I am mentally ill". Howard (19) Asexual.

Page 22-23:

"Sex just feel unnatural and foreign. I dont want to do it, something tell me to stop".

Howard is 19 years old and is on his last year in Highschool. He likes to play football [soccer], go to parties and is wearing jeans and a big winter jacket with fur. A normal school boy, apart from one thing: he doesn't experience sexual attraction.

-I've had a few crushes on girls, but I've never had sexual feelings for them. The difference is that I get attracted to their personality. I think of how I would like to spend my time with her.

Have to watch porn all the time.

Howard is a heteroromantic asexual.

Asexuality is defines as experiencing no sexual attraction. Around one percent of the Norwegian population doesn't experience sexual attraction acording to numbers from SSB. No one have publically come out as asexual in Norway to this date.

Howard have said he have had sex, but it didn'nt make him want more of it. Howard thought it was something that would change over time.

It never did.

-"At first I didn't want to accept it, and believed it was something wrong with me. I have pushed myself to have sex, since I felt it was expected of me, both from the partner and society", he tell us cautious.

The voice is low. He tries to distance himself from the topic. Talks about himself indirectly. The exceptations that one is supposed to have a lot sex have been difficult for Howard.

-"In the sexual education classes in school, we were thaught that all all boys want sex and watch porn all the time, which it was something I never did. I never understood what was so special about it. I felt like I was not a real boy".

-Sex is not my interest. "Stian" (33) is running his own business in Oslo. He was around 26 years old when he found out he was asexual.

-" I asked around with my buddies when I found out I was different. I asked them: "When did you find out that you're hetero?". Everyone else appereantly had a clear idea of when they became interested in the opposite sex, but it have never been there for me".

"Stian" have sex once in a while, maybe one time each year. He tries to do it often enough so he won't forget the experience, but it is never something he really wants to do. Sex and masturbation is just something physical for him, without erotical fantasies. It isn't in his interests, as he say it himself.

-"Society expects that sex is a service one have to deliver. People start to think about it very early on. They think "here I can get lucky"".

Earlier "Stian" felt an emptyness by doing something which was very important and important for the other part., but for him it was more mechanical.

-"It was a terrible experience. I felt like sex was something I shouldn't do. Now I have managed to conquer that feeling. If it is something I am fond of [or love], I may have sex with her because because I think it is pleasant/nice.

Have sex with the duvet. Many with lack of sexual desires come to the clinic to the sexologist Gro Isachsen to get help. She have helped some who haven't sexually "awakened" yet.

Some seldom times she have gotten persons who define themselves as asexuals.

-"With a closer look retropersepctivley, they have often had a sexual life with themselves afterall, however they don't define it as sex. For example by having their legs around a duvet and contracting their pelvis muscles. It have been a purely physical experience without any erotical fantasies. Others may have problems with having sex with others, but are doing splendenly by their own".

Isachsen believes the increasing sex press today are to blame for that many young ones have prestation anxiety at that field.

-"Sex is supposed to be something everyone have og is easy to perform. It is not normal to not have sexual desire. When one then have this problem, it leads to an evil circle with even less desire.

Fascinated, but not in love. "Stian" had in a relationship in the start of his twenties which lasted for five years, but he have never been in love.

-"She was beautiful and smart, and simply the best way to spend your time. Of course it was love. I can become fascinated of humans, but to be in love [have a crush] I really don't know what it is like".

For him intimacy and sex is two completely different things. After a while it became a challenge as the one part expected something which the other couldn't live up to.

-"Sex became a problem after a while. "You can fake it and make it" for a while, but at some point it become so [swear word] that you don't want to do it anymore. I didn't manage to perform in relation to the desires and needs of another human, I got exhausted of it", he explains.

To avoid sexual pressure, many asexual choose to meet others like them on dating sites instead. Here you can find groups for those who are in the gray-area, those who want to marry, and those who love to bake cake. For the aromantics, the homoromantic, the panromantic, sapioromantic and the demi-heteroromantics.

Page 24-25:

Would rather play bridge. Love gets obviously different without sex, states psychologist and scientist Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair at NTNU.

- "Picture yourself a very close friend of the opposite sex which you could go on vacations with and shared a bed with, but still get your fingers to yourself. It could be your best vacation memory, but it would be entirley different if you had spent the time without someone you were so horny after that you would be on your knees".

Kennair beleives it can often become too much either or mentality.

- "Even if you're not horny in the moment, you can still be fond of/love your romantic partner. That feeling one can have all the time".

He calls it companion-love.

- "They are together in their lives og share common interests, for example that both like to play bridge. It is a person that is important to you, which you want to be together with, but you don't get sexually attracted to them. It isn't necessairly that what one think of being in love".

It is many explenations for asexuality, but Kennair think it is important to not make the individual look sick.

- "It is perfectly normal to not want sex, but it is not usual. Not everyone have the desire for sex with other humans, and that is totally okay. Just like someone see colors, while others don't".

New years resolution to have more sex. "Stian" have promised himself that in the next years he will try to have more sex, and be positive to it.

- "I have to challenge myself by doing things I'm not motivated to do. It can be compared to a new years resolution to excercise more in the new year".

He is open about his sexuality to his friends and family, but he doesn't like to define himself as asexual.

- "They label me. By saying I'm asexual, I'm also saying that I'm going to be it [sorry, I really don't understand what they say]. I only know that I'm different. I like to say that I'm just not interested".

He often come with funny one-liners to describe himself. "Stian" is confident with his orientation.

- "I've realized I've good time because I don't think about sex all the time. 98% of my brain capacity are liberated to think of other things", he says and laughs.

"Stian" have a hard time picturing himself in a relationship and have no plans of getting a family. Even if he's a social and extroverted guy, he picture himself ot be alone for the rest of his life.

- "I was very scared of being afraid for a while. But I have never been without friends, so why should I start with that when I'm 70? you will yourself stop to involve other humans in your life".

From disease to identity. "It is diffiult to get the numbers of asexuals, because it is no research that include questions about asexuality" says miniority and gender researcher/scientist Randi Elin Gressgård at the University of Bergen.

- "On the other hand it is many who say they have troubles with sexual desires. A small portion of these would say that they may be asexual".

Gressgård explains that most of those that identify as asexuals are between 20 and 30 years old, something that is related to that young people are active users of social media, and that contact between asexuals are primarly going thorugh the internet. The internet community AVEN (Asexuality Visibility & Education Network) was founded in 2001 with 1200 members, now it have tens of thousands of users..

- "It is important to remember that it is a great variation in how the members percieve asexuality and how they live their asexual lives. A common goal on the other hand is that they wish to fight agains the common disbelief that asexuality is a physical illness or a result of mental problems", she says.

Gressgård underlines that asexuals don't choose to be so, but something you are - in contrast to celibacy. Gressgård explains that this view on asexuality as an identity and not a diagnosis is supported by more and more scientists in the fields of psychology and sexology.

She believes on the other hand that it can be difficult being accepted as asexual, because sexuality is often associoated with vitality and is percieved as something naturally human.

- "Many feel a strong norm pressure to have an active sexual life. For many who doesn't feel sexual desire or attraction, the asexual identity can therefore be an alternative".

Found likeminded on the internet. It was around year ago Howard realized he doesn't experience sexual attraction. He wondered what was wrong with him. He visited a doctor to check his hormones, but his libido and homronal levels were perfectly normal. Because of his absent of sexual feelings for girls, Howard became more and more certain that he was homosexual. It ended up with him searching for asexuality.

On AVEN he got to know likeminded which had experienced the same as him.

- "I found out that my orientation was a natural part of myself. I have always been asexual, so if it is an illness I must have had it since I was born."

Howard have tried to talk to family and friends about his orientation, but have never been believed.

- "People tell me that it doesn't exist, that it is only loosers that are asexual, and that I am mentally ill. Others have told me that I'm a repressed homosexual, or that I can't get an erection. It may be difficult to understand, because sex have always been such a big part of their life, and will always be. That someboy doesn't want it and can't experience sexual attraction, is just alien for them", Howard believes.

Wants to become a part of the pride movement. Howard believes that a mix of taboo and lack of knowledge is a big reason for why many asexuals have troubles being open about their orientation.

- "It is not much information about asexuality, and that make it difficult for others to know anything about is, something that leads to ignorance on the field".

He thinks it is good to be around likeminded people, and want to strenghten the asexual community in Norway. He believes the future of the community is to become a part of the pride movement.

- "It is important for many asexuals to be a part of the LGBT-movement, and we try to be a part of the LLH [LGBT]. Asexuals are also organizing themselves at WorldPride", says the 19 year old, who look positivley at the future of asexuality .

- Do you see any similiarities between the homosexuals fight/cause and the asexual cause?

- "The homosexuals experience a lot more discrimination than asexuals. But I will say it is many similarities. Before homosexuality wasn't as accepted as it is now, and it wasn't that much of research and science behind it. It isn't before modern times that asexuality have started to emerge. It is a long process", he says.

Once asexual, always asexual. Some asexuals are sexually repressed. Howard doesn't have it like that. Eventhough he doesn't have any desires for sex, Howard doesn't have any problems with physical contact. He can hold hands and kiss, but that is his limit. He doubts he will ever get sexual desires.

- "It is my orientation. Just like some are heterosexual, while some are homosexual. This is who I am, and I can't change that.

Howard doesn't miss [desire] sex in his life, but he admits that it might have been easier if he was sexual.

- "Sometimes I reflect over if it would been better if I could experience sexual attraction just like everyone else".

"Stian" is curios about how sex is experienced for others [sexuals].

- "Everyone explain how fantastic it is. I get fascinated that it is such a strong influence on toher human beings. But of course I don't miss it. I don't know what it is like".

The interview with the LGBT movement, page 25:

- Not a topic.

Neither the LGBT movement or the politcal leadership have asexuality on their agenda.

- "Asexuality is not something we work with in our organization.

The leader of the The National Association for Lesbian and Gay Liberation (LLH) is quite clear in his statement.

Why not?

- "We fight for humans that are discriminated because of their sexual orientation and gender identity. As far as I know none of our sister organizations are international work on the behalf of asexuals.

Today it is no organization for asexuals in Norway. Nylund claims that he have an understanding for the challenges asexuals can face when they are different than others.

- "To be different is something that LGBT people also experience. We cheer for everyone who wants to be those who they are, independently of sexual prefferences and gender.

At the same time Nylund say that heteroromantics as Howard is not welcome in the LGBT.

- "Asexual can of course fit in the the LGBT movement, but only as long as they are homophil, biphil or trans persons".

Also the government organ of Childrens, gender-eqaulity and inclusion the answer is short: "The politcal leadership isn't interested in the interview". When the department get the question once more, they answer.

- "Asexuality is a topic that neither we, our knowledge/education center for sexual orientation and gender identity, the LGBT center, have in their portifolio", they answer in an email.

Third one: "Fuck sex" http://p3.no/juntafil/fuck-sex/ Interview on the radio produced into an article. Nice and short article, which covers most of asexuality as different kind of asexuals and have a bigger focus on aromanticism - which is good since most articles focus around romantic asexuals.

Website: p3.no Date: 13th of January 2011.

Asexual Beate have never been sexually attracted to someone, never hd a crush and never had sex.

Is it really possible to live an entire life and not get a crush or be sexually attracted to another human being? Yes, asexual Beate (27) have never been in love and she can't think of having sex with another person.

- Before I knew it was something called asexuality, I thought it was really emberassing when we played "truth or dare" in the instances I was asked for the age I lost my virginity. So I ended up with saying that I had lost it since I didn't dare to say that I had never lost it, Beate tells.

Research conducted in USA suggest that so many as 1% may be asexual.

Why are some asexual?

- For my part it is that I'm born this way, because I have no memory of being interested in anyone at all. It is a natural part of me. However it is many who speculates that if you're asexual, it is because you've been raped or have been sexually abused or strict religions. That is not my case, says Beate.

The definition of asexuality is persons who do not experience sexual attraction to another human being. It is different "degrees" lf asexuality. Some never get crushes and fall in love (aromantic), while others do. It is also important to differentiate between asexuality and celibacy. Celibacy is that you choose to abstain from sex, while when one is asexual one do not have sexual feelings.

Do asexuals masturbate?

One thing is to never get horny because of other persons, but what about masturbation? Do asexuals get horny of satisfying themselves?

- In the teenages most get horny because of hormones and stuff liket hat, so I masturbates a little bit then. But as the years have passes it have become less and less. I might masturbate from time to time, but that is usually right before I menstruate, Beste explain.t

Don't you want to take the masturbating a little further - to have sex?

- I've never been that horny, ot have just beens little bit if one can put it like that. It is many I talk with on the internet who compares it with an itch. If your arm itches then you just have to scratch yourself to get rid of it. It isn't anything more than that, says Beate.

When one masturbates most think of people they are attracted to sexually or romantically. What do you think of when you don't get attracted at all?

- It may sound silly, but I may read one erotic story, but it can't only be about sex. Many asexuals doesn't think of anything. They might think of what they will have for dinner, or what they need to buy in the store, so it is not the same for everyone, says Beate.

No one is openly asexual in Norway.

Beate explain that it is not easy to be openly asexual in Norway. In fact it is no one in Norway who have come out of the closet publically to this date. In USA on the other hand, the struggle to get asexuality as the fourth orientation after homo, hetero and bisexual, well underway. Amd it is mulitple famous people who are openly asexual.

"Det siste sex tabuet" - "The last sex taboo". Article about the asexual movement and AVEN. And scientists who claim it is the biggest remaining sexual taboo. http://www.side2.no/2957758.html

Website: side2.no Date: 6th of August 2010.

The last sex taboo

Is it possible to be uninterested - even repulsed - in sex without being sick or injured?

(SIDE2): Yes, means the asexuals. Now they are uniting to a fight against invsibility and taboo, writes Forskning.no

Never sex

"When I was twelve I got the bees and flower talk. I didn't like, as far as I can recall, I neve pictured myself in doing it. In ninth grade we had sexual education. Then I realized I have no issues with the concept in other peoples lives. But the thought of I - myself - should participate in something sexual, was uncomfortable, and then it hit me that I don't want it. As far as I can remember I have never wanted it".

This is what the user "ConfessionConfusion" writes, who present heself as a soon to be 18 year old girl on the forum asexuality.org - a website for the asexuals.

Asexual community

"An asexual person is a person who do not experience sexual attraction. Contrary to celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is a natural part of who we are. Community doesn't make our lives better or worse, we just meet other challenges than most sexuals", it is written at asexuality.org [God, don't hope my translation is wrong xD].

The website and forum is run by the organization AVEN, currently the biggest and most important organization for a growing movement: the World's asexuals.

Right after the foundation in 2001 AVEN had 1200 members. I 2009 the numner was around 30 000. AVEN's goal is to increase awarness around and the acceptance of asexuality and help with the growth of the asexual community.

Regarded as an Abnormality

It gives them a long road ahead, should we believe the researchers Randi Gressgård and Tome Hellesund, which held a post about the topic during the conference Beyond Citizenship: Feminism and the transformation of Belonging in London this summer.

Lack of interest for sex in our society is regarded as a sickness or abnormality, at least in medicine. Just look at the erection industry! Asexuality is most likely the biggest sexual taboo in our time, says the scientists.

"De uinteresserte" - "The uninterested" An article about asexuality, and emphasis on two sexologist who think asexuality is not an orientation amd is something cultural. Plus it focus on David Jay, AVEN and asexuals and masturbation. http://www.abcnyheter.no/livet/2012/09/01/de-uinteresserte

Website: abcnyheter.no Date:1st of September 2012.

The uninterested

One percent of the population are asexual. They are not interested in sex

Sexuality is often percieved as the most natural joy spreader in the world. But it is not like this for everyone. Not if we're supposed to believe British research with around 18.000 participators. The statistics from here tells us that around 1 percent of the population count themselves as asexuals. They don't get sexually attracted to others.

This group have the last year started to organize themselves in discussion-fora on the web. In 2011 AVEN was founded by David Jay. This year [2012] the network got over 50.000 members from all over the world.

The goal is to increase acceptance for asexuality, and contribute to discussion of the topic.M

Not a virgin

David Jay is the movements front figure, and is among other things potraited in the documentary "(A)sexual" (2011). Jay points in the interviews that he did not choose to become asexual. At the same time he admits to have masturbated. And he's not a virgin.

This might seem paradoxal. But masturbation is not unusual amongst asexuals, according to the most thorough scientifical study to date. A Canadian researcher group got 200 members who are members of the asexual nrtwrok, to answer detailed questions. The results showed among other things:

* More women then men think of themselves as asexual. It is ca. twice as many females.

* Many said they quite frequently masturbated. Here it was clear differences between the sexes: While 43% of the answered that they never masturbate, just 7% men did the same. 55 percent of the men masturbated at least once a week, while only 7 percent of the women did the same.

* The asexuals are not having greater porportions of depressions and mental illnesses than rest of the population.D

* It is not basis to claim that asexuality is caused by traumas or unfortunate sexual experiences.

No orientation

Also in Norway we have members of the AVEN-network. But no one have been open about their asexuality in public. "Det Nye" [first article: "Meg får du aldri!"] interviewed in 2009 the anomonous "Liv", who claim that asexuality is her orientation. NRK P3's sexual/relationship program interviewed in 2011 "Beate" [article number 3: "Fuck sex"]. She claims to been asexual from birth.

Psychologist and sexologist Thore Langfeldt means the statements is caused by a misunderstanding:

It is two orientation: Homosexuality and heterosexuality. The media have sowed confusion by using the word "orientation" wrongly. On the other paraphillias exist, different sexual interests or prefferences. Of course it is people who do not desire. And that is okay, he says.

I get the statemnts as that a wish for that absent sex interest is given in birth, but it is not like this. Everyone ks born with a sexuality. [Like asexuality :p ]

Do you mean asexuality is caused by traumas?

No, traumas are too loaded. It is caused by random events, and here it is very difficult to be generalizing. But it is important to remember that one might of course have a right to not be interested in sex. You have a right to be not sexual, Lamgfeldt explains.

Many of them say they masturbates. How compatible is this with being asexual?

It doesn't. But I think many think sex and intercourse are eual. And it is intercourse they don't like. Because of that they label themselves as asexual.

Wants a partner

Bente Træen, one of the other most profiled sexologists in the country, comment it lile this:

It may relate to that they don't want sexual interaction. What is common for most of them is that they don't want to have sex with others. But many of them would like to be in a relationship. They just don't want to have sex with their partner.

The interest for sex might also vary throughout the course of a life. It is not static. Anf if asexuality is not an orientation, it is still an identity, she adds.

Træeen views the asexual movement both as a counter trend and as a natural continuation of society's progress for the last 10 years:

You can say that it have forced itself through, as a counter reaction, in a time where it was rally big focus on sex. At the same time it have been a greate and greater accaptance for diversity, and asexuality have a place here. It ks about having the right to be who you are, Træen points out.

Langfeldt thinks asexuality in a great degree is an american phenomona:L

That more women than men think of themselves as asexuals, may be because of the sexual moral enviorment in USA. One wish to distance themselves from sex.

Træen choose to look at the American dominance through a different perspective::

The voices may come from there first. It is a big country with many different opposing views and lifestyles.

"Aseksualitet, hva er det?" - "What is asexuality?" An informational page for youth. It seem like they are thinking asexuality is only about sexual desires and libido. I should maybe e-mail them, as it contain much misinformation because of that and is such an important site for teens. Other than that it is well written and is stressing that asexuals are healthy and that they are a part of our sociey and it is perfectly natural. Allthough they have a misconception about that asexuals can't be in a relationship with sex. http://www.ung.no/sexogsamliv/3192_Aseksualitet,_hva_er_det.html

Webiste: ung.no

If you don't have any sexual desires or want to have sex, you can call yourself asexual (from a meaning non and sexual).

One of the ten sexual rights goes like this: the right to sexual autonomy and self detirmence. This right underlines that it is you who owns and is in charge of your own body. Autonomy can be defined as independence and that you're supposed to be respected no matter what.

You own your own body

The UN declaration of human rights give the individual rights in form of protection from force and coercion from the state, but also to be protected from being pressured into being sexual if you're not sexual. You own and know your body the best. Some of us are born with little to none sexual desires. Some are born as asexuals - and they have a right to be so.

Taboo to have no desire

It is much pressure to have intercourse, both from the media and in our language. Because society have become so open about sexuality, it have almost become a taboo to not have an active sex life.We know that each person have different levels of sexual libido, and we have to respect that.

Not celibacy

Most of those who identify as asexual want to have a romantic relationship. They don't choose away their sexuality, they just don't have any sexual needs. An asexual will have a good time with a romantic partner whom is also asexual, and manage to live with someone who don't have a split sexuality [think they are reffering to that romanticism is a part of sexuality]. Their relationship will succeed if they can agree on living without sexual activites.

Healthy

Being asexual do not mean that one are sick, or that it is something wrong with that person. It is perfectly normal that some have high libido and others have low libido. Some have no libido at all. Some times an illness or injury may cause that someone have no sexual desires at all, but this must not be confused with asexuality.

Am I asexual?

Perhaps you're not asexual? Ask yourself some questions that may make it clear if you are asexual or not. Have you suddenly lost your desire for sexuality? Is it a reason why your sexual desires are gone? Do you think you're little attractive and no one wants you? Do you have a lack of sexual desires because you're in a relationship with the wrong person or gender? Is it possiblek that you don't have sexual desires because have a lack of knowledge about your own body and how to get aroused? You're most likely not asexual if you can answer yes to one of these questions. When the situation is changed, your sexual desires will emerge.

Diversity

Asexuality is a part of the diversity among us humans. The more we know, the more certain we'll become of this topic. We have to respect that we have different needs and desires. It is most likely more [than you] who doesn't dare to tell they are asexual because the big focus on sexuality in our society. It is just oneself who knows if one are asexual - and to what degree. This miniority also consist of variations and different persons. It is different opinions with academians if asexuality is an sexual orientation or not.

Body contact

Some asexuals get aroused, but doesn't have any desire to do anything about it. That means that some asexuals masturbate. Kissing for an asexual may mean something like "I care about you" than an invitation to sex. If one are asexual, it does not mean that they won't touch their partner. It is just as much love and body contact between asexuals.

Mostly women?

According to the organization AVEN and other research, most asexuals are women, but it is still uncertain if that is because it is more accepted for women to not have sexual desires. It is more of a requirement and expectations for males to have sexual desires all the time. It may because of that be more difficult for males and boys to dare themselves to tell they're asexual. The members of AVEN consists, thus far, mostly of women who are 20 to 40 years old-

Alone or in a couple

Because asexuals often lack sexual desires, libido or a need to be sexually active, it may be difficult to find other likeminded and be in a relationship with them. Some choose to live alone, others find a partner who are content with other forms of intimate activity. After all one don't need to be two to be sexually active.

Sexual desire

Everyone might experience that their sexual desires vary. Our sexual desires change over time because of different phases and pressure, illnesses or concerns. It is physical aswell as mental reasons that might lower our sexual desires. The most common source of a lowered libido is stress, but that is not the reason behind asexuality.

Community

It is many who are asexual and tells about it. It is made a major network and an organization named AVEN for the asexuals in the world. In 2009 the membership was 30.000. Read more about asexuality on ABC nyheter

"Aseksuell" - "Asexual" The Norwegian LGBT center's definition/explenation of the term "asexual". http://www.bufetat.no/LHBT/ABC---ord-og-uttrykk/Aseksuell/

Website: bufetat.no/LHBT

To be asexual is having absence of sexual attraction and/or sexual desires. Asexuality is not the same as celibacy. People who are celibate experience sexual desires and attraction, but choose because of different reasons to abstain from sex in shorter or longer periods of time, but asexuals don't have any need for sex. Both cis and trans persons can be asexual.

Some believe asexuality is a sexual orientation similar with homosexuality or bisexuality, beceause asexuality is their primary sexual identity.

"Aseksuelle møtes på nett" - "Asexuals meet on the internet" http://pahoyden.no/2009/10/aseksuelle-motes-pa-nett Here's another concerning asexuals and that they meet online. It is also focusing on the struggle for getting asexuality accepted as a sexual orientation and identity and compares it with the struggle homosexuals had.

Webiste: Date: 21. October 2009, last updated 2. October 2013

Fact box:

Facts/Asexuality:

*According to the website AVEN asexuality is defined as someone who do not experience sexual attraction. In contrast to celibacy, which is a choice, asexuality is something one are born with and is an important personality trait.

*Many are asexual without identifying as asexual. It is also a big diversity inside this category. Many seek romantical realtionships with others from a certain sex or both sexes. They may also be in realtionships with sexuals.

*In the West, abstinence from sex have been seen as a virtue for many centuries. From the 1900's sexual desires have been seen as a normal biological drift for both sexes, and something vital for relationships. The absence of sexual desires have been seen as an abnormality - something pathological.

*To seek acknowledgement for being different is a relatively new phenomonen. For homosexuals it seriously began with the Stonewall-riot in New York in 1969, when homosexuals protested against a police razzia at the bar Stonewall Inn.

Those without sexual desires use the internet to find other asexual partners.

Asexuals have no sexual desires. Even if one should think that they would not desire romantic relationships they are engaging eachother in a large scale on the internet.

It is many asexuals who want to live in romantic relationships without sex, says PhD Randi Gressgård, at the Center for woman- and gender science, UiB [university in Bergen].

If we look at the asexuals activity on websites we can clearly see that this is a widespread phenomenon, according to Gressgård. She recently held a presentation called "Bill. mrk aseksuell" on a SOK seminar.

The internet contributes to a new identity

And it is also websites that are purely for education about asexuality. Because websites about and for asexuals only have existed for a few years, much of the content are an instrument to create acceptance and recognition for asexuality - like the other sexual identities.

An example of a post from a user on AVEN:

Theres an entire dimension of the human experience that just doesnt apply to me. Im not missing or missing out on sexuality any more than a circle is missing out on corners. Sexuality, to me or my life, is simply not applicable.

Web based communities like this are contributing to increased acknowledgement and acceptance according to Gressgård.

The informationaltion webpages are contributing to normalise the phenomenon for the rest of the world, at the same time it is also helping with establishing identities for those who consider themselves asexual, Gressgård believes.

Hard to get accepted

The struggle to get recognition for their differences are not a new thing. Gressgård compare the identity struggle asexuals are going through with the homosexuals struggle. But she also believe asexuals have greater challenges in getting asexuality acceptated as a sexual orientation than homosexuals.

Becuase it is an intuitive contradiction with a sexual identity who contain the absence of desire for sex, it is no easy task to get asexuality recognized as a sexual orientation, means Gressgård.

The sexual drifts are percieved as a biological basis in humans - and something natural and necessary in the love life. Asexuality are challenging these perceptions at the very fundemental level. They also challenge the perceptions of famliy and relatives.

Confirms relationship norms

However even if asexuality are violating, quite radically, with common perception, they are at the very same time confirming prevelant norms.

.

Asexuality violated the established view upon what's the natural love- and family relationships. However the dating sites show us at the same time that embraces the prevailing perception that it is the romantic couple that is the norm for relationships, Gressgård explains.

By insisting that asexuality is a sexual identity, they are confirming the modern perception that asexuality is an inner essence, who shows us the truth about the individual, Gressgård points out.

Untranslated articles/will be translated soon

Forum threads. These will not be translated (as of today) but may get their thread title, op and even a summary written when I'm finished with the articles:

PS: Open the spoilers.

Edited by ThaHoward
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Kellam

Thanks for doing all this... It's good to see such things.

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ThaHoward

Thanks for doing all this... It's good to see such things.

No problem, I'm more than happy to do it. And thanks :)

Edited the first article, something weird happened with it. And added three other articles. Will most likely translate a fifht one (or more) tomorow :)

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Aqua-ace

Great work with these, Howard! :cake:

I'd like to add these to the "asexuality in the media" page on the wiki, but before I do that, what date was the last article published?

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ThaHoward

Great work with these, Howard! :cake:

I'd like to add these to the "asexuality in the media" page on the wiki, but before I do that, what date was the last article published?

Thanks :) Here is the last article: http://www.abcnyheter.no/livet/2012/09/01/de-uinteresserte It was published the 1st of September 2012.

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Aqua-ace

Great work with these, Howard! :cake:

I'd like to add these to the "asexuality in the media" page on the wiki, but before I do that, what date was the last article published?

Thanks :) Here is the last article: http://www.abcnyheter.no/livet/2012/09/01/de-uinteresserte It was published the 1st of September 2012.

Thanks! I got each of the articles you translated added to the wiki!

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Heart

Wow Howard, I'm seriously impressed! Massive cake to you, and a job incredibly well done!!! :cake:

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ThaHoward

Thanks! I got each of the articles you translated added to the wiki!

Cool! Added two new articles :) Will most likely add two more tomorow.

Wow Howard, I'm seriously impressed! Massive cake to you, and a job incredibly well done!!! :cake:

Thank you! :) Glad it is appreciated.

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ThaHoward

Added another article. Sadly I lost one I was going to translate.

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ithaca

Added another article. Sadly I lost one I was going to translate.

Do you still have a link to the one you lost? Do you mean the website doesn't exist anymore, or that you've lost the link?

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ThaHoward

Added another article. Sadly I lost one I was going to translate.

Do you still have a link to the one you lost? Do you mean the website doesn't exist anymore, or that you've lost the link?

Can't find the article anymore. But on the positive side I found many others. And many forum threads about asexuality (tons of them) but I won't be translating that :lol: But I might link them :)

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-Minus-

Wow, good work on translating all of these! :D

And I'm actually in one of the articles, haha:P

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