I think I experienced sexual attraction for the first time...maybe

[winterberry]

So I think this guy I like(d) made me experience sexual attraction. I couldn't fathom having sex with him but at the same time I was sexually attracted to him. I know that doesn't make much sense without me having to be a bit graphic with my explanation, but lets just say that perhaps I felt tingly when around him but at the same time didn't like the idea of having sex with him or anyone for that matter (aside from possibly the idealized person that exists only in my imagination). I am not sure if that was sexual attraction but I'm going to assume that it was. I can't say that I liked this feeling. I mean, it wasn't unpleasant in the way that pain is, but I would say it is unpleasant in the sense that it made me feel awkward.

To make a long story short, things didn't work out between us on a romantic level. He requires a lot of physical intimacy in order to feel loved/desired, and I wasn't yet comfortable with physical intimacy even after half a year of being together (I'm referring to non-sexual touch here but I'm going to assume that eventually he would have needed sexual intimacy as well), but that's a topic for another day.

I'm not really sure what the purpose of this post is. I'm just trying to figure myself out. I previously thought of myself as a demisexual but I did not have a strong bond with this person. I really liked him and thought of him as physically attractive, and I greatly enjoyed our deep discussions and the time went spent together, but I barely felt I knew him. I wasn't bonded with him on a deep level yet I felt some form of sexual attraction. I don't know why I'm making such a big deal about this! I don't know if its because I wish I wasn't sexually attracted to him or if its because I feel that my possible asexuality killed any chance of a romantic relationship with him. I can't tell if I'm disgusted or depressed. I just feel crappy about this *sigh*

[Guest]

Don't over think. Relax and count sheep. Give it a few days and see if the feeling is still alive. Give it time dont worry about it.

[Empyreus]

Don't over think. Relax and count sheep. Give it a few days and see if the feeling is still alive. Give it time dont worry about it.

Given the context that you've provided, this might be good advice... and if it turns out that you really did develop feelings for him, and you can explore them in a healthy and balanced way that doesn't compromise who you are, that's fantastic!

[winterberry]

Don't over think. Relax and count sheep. Give it a few days and see if the feeling is still alive. Give it time dont worry about it.

What feeling exactly?

Given the context that you've provided, this might be good advice... and if it turns out that you really did develop feelings for him, and you can explore them in a healthy and balanced way that doesn't compromise who you are, that's fantastic!

I know I have romantic feelings for him, maybe even slight sexual feelings, but thats not enough so its over.

How do so many of you demisexuals and grey aces so successful in relationships. I can't even make it passed this stage.

Things would be a lot easier if I were fully sexual or fully aromantic.