notSureIfAsex Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Hello all, I have been with my GF for about 7 months or so and everything is great. The only issue (which is not really that big a deal), is that I like having sex and she has some trouble with it. When we first started going out she confided in me that sex was painful for her but that it wasn't a physical problem. She treats it as a problem that needs to be solved, and it really makes her sad that she has so much trouble. I have always been very supportive of her and not pressured her, but she pressures herself. I don't want her to beat herself up anymore though, especially if the issue is that it is her orientation, and not a problem to be solved. We have had sex, but not very often, and she asks me to finish as soon as possible. She does like to masturbate though, even with me in the bed next to her. She also likes all forms of physical intimacy outside of sex it seems, (kissing, hugging, cuddling, etc.) What do you guys think? Is it possible she is asexual? I realize this may not be enough info to go off of, but I don't think I can bring it up with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Valw Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Hello all, I have been with my GF for about 7 months or so and everything is great. The only issue (which is not really that big a deal), is that I like having sex and she has some trouble with it. When we first started going out she confided in me that sex was painful for her but that it wasn't a physical problem. She treats it as a problem that needs to be solved, and it really makes her sad that she has so much trouble. I have always been very supportive of her and not pressured her, but she pressures herself. I don't want her to beat herself up anymore though, especially if the issue is that it is her orientation, and not a problem to be solved. We have had sex, but not very often, and she asks me to finish as soon as possible. She does like to masturbate though, even with me in the bed next to her. She also likes all forms of physical intimacy outside of sex it seems, (kissing, hugging, cuddling, etc.) What do you guys think? Is it possible she is asexual? I realize this may not be enough info to go off of, but I don't think I can bring it up with her. I really applaud your supportive and caring attitude towards your GF. It does sound as if she might be asexual, but she will be the one to determine that. I spent many years in my relationship thinking I had a problem that needed fixing.It was only after discovering the AVEN site, that I had a very big 'aha' moment, and realized why sex had always been such a troubling issue for me. Would it feel ok to let your GF know about this site, so that she can see other people's stories? It might help to clarify things for you both. Also,talking in an open, non-judgemental way is always good, and generally helps. Good luck to you both. Link to post Share on other sites
Yuli Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Hello, She might be, but I agree with the answer above that its something she'd have to clarify on her own. I just wanted to comment and applaud you as well for being so supportive. The world needs more of kind and understanding people who accept people as they are, so cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
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