LittleBee Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 @Skullery Maid and Alanna The idea of an "asexual culture" fascinates me, now that you mention it. I mean, what kind of culture do asexuals even have? Do they have their own culture? (Of course this site has its own culture, but that is the culture of AVEN, and not necessarily Asexual culture, especially considering impact the presence of sexual people on the site also which will factor in on the culture) Is there asexual culture? Or just this AVEN culture? What about sexual culture? Is straight culture different to gay culture and how so? How does peoples orientations build these cultures? Lots of thought provoking stuff there. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I don't really think there's such a thing as "the asexual culture". There are asexual subcultures, sure... but note the plural. The AVEN one is quite distinct from the tumblr one, for example (as none too infrequent clashes prove all too well). Link to post Share on other sites
BlackRose Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I think in the context of this site, "asexual culture" means AVEN culture. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleBee Posted February 23, 2014 Author Share Posted February 23, 2014 Well, when you think about it, every little patch of the internet, where groups of people gather has a culture, since, culture forms when people form groups and general attitudes, behaviours, opinions and practices etc form, so AVEN probably has a culture all of its own, heck it does. Feel free to argue with me on this, but I'd say AVEN has a very "mature" kind of culture (not like X-rated obv). Most posts I read on here are well thought out, articulate and informative, facebook on the other hand tends to be a lot less mature in that sense (Im generalizing here of course, theres plenty of immature posts on here -spam/game thread etc, and plenty of mature posts on fb too). Talking on here involves conversations such as these, debating ideologies and rich theories and concepts, meanwhile on facebook one of my friends has been posting expletives about the "fookin' bleedin' useless ref" of some football game ... Again, don't take my word as gospel, there are academics and people with doctorates on FB and there are people on here who suffer from the dreaded "cat-typing-syndrome". I guess it has to do with the fact that AVEN stands for Asexual Visibility Education Network, we live up to the acronym by being civilised and educated individuals. Link to post Share on other sites
Katniss Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Fascinating topic of conversation. I've never really had to many or heard to many sexual discussions. I have started a new job recently where my mentor not talking specifically to me but another colleague about this man is into infantilism and orders his outfits from a seamstress friend of hers. I mostly feel embarrassed and a bit sorry for this unknown man because I wouldn't want people discussing my sexuality behind my back. Like it has been said there is a time and place for these discussions but it is not at work Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 "fookin' bleedin' useless ref" of some football game ... . That brings to mind my not knowing why I just LOVE British (and Irish?) slang/accents. Now if it were "fucking twit of a ref", I wouldn't find it charming. Maybe I'm afflicted with the reverse of xenohobia. Damn it's hard to tye without the letter between o and q. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleBee Posted February 23, 2014 Author Share Posted February 23, 2014 "fookin' bleedin' useless ref" of some football game ... . That brings to mind my not knowing why I just LOVE British (and Irish?) slang/accents. Now if it were "fucking twit of a ref", I wouldn't find it charming. Maybe I'm afflicted with the reverse of xenohobia. Damn it's hard to tye without the letter between o and q. Lol hate to disappoint but I haven't the British or Irish accent myself since I'm an immigrant lol but its certainly fun hearing the slang they use in Ireland, In serious conversations though ... its really out of place but for having the "craic" as they would call it here (having fun) they have great language for that sort of thing xD Link to post Share on other sites
BlackRose Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 "fookin' bleedin' useless ref" of some football game ... . That brings to mind my not knowing why I just LOVE British (and Irish?) slang/accents. Now if it were "fucking twit of a ref", I wouldn't find it charming. Maybe I'm afflicted with the reverse of xenohobia. Damn it's hard to tye without the letter between o and q. Lol hate to disappoint but I haven't the British or Irish accent myself since I'm an immigrant lol but its certainly fun hearing the slang they use in Ireland, In serious conversations though ... its really out of place but for having the "craic" as they would call it here (having fun) they have great language for that sort of thing xD You probably have it a little... the way you phrased that sounded very British! "I haven't the..." is not something an American would say... we'd say "I don't have." Link to post Share on other sites
LittleBee Posted February 23, 2014 Author Share Posted February 23, 2014 "fookin' bleedin' useless ref" of some football game ... . That brings to mind my not knowing why I just LOVE British (and Irish?) slang/accents. Now if it were "fucking twit of a ref", I wouldn't find it charming. Maybe I'm afflicted with the reverse of xenohobia. Damn it's hard to tye without the letter between o and q. Lol hate to disappoint but I haven't the British or Irish accent myself since I'm an immigrant lol but its certainly fun hearing the slang they use in Ireland, In serious conversations though ... its really out of place but for having the "craic" as they would call it here (having fun) they have great language for that sort of thing xD You probably have it a little... the way you phrased that sounded very British! "I haven't the..." is not something an American would say... we'd say "I don't have." Haha wow I never noticed that xD Maybe I do speak rather Irish and British ... but the way I say it sounds foreign, but at least I'm using the language in a way that the people here do, even if I can't pronounce the words like they do xD haha I will be paying attention to that more closely now haha I never noticed that!! Link to post Share on other sites
Feral_Sophisticate Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Greetings... I "discovered" asexuality through my current girlfriend. I knew that sex wasn't on the table at all when we first met, and really didn't care, as I wasn't interested in sexual relationships at that time. I'm not asexual, but I am weary of the excessive pressure exerted for relationships to quickly evolve into the sexual realm. We've been together for nearly a year now, and she's clearly in the "asexual spectrum". Where, precisely, is hard to say. She's younger than I (we're a "May-December" relationship), and still figuring out her sexual identity. I intend to help her - without pushing her in any particular direction - to the best of my ability. I'm probably one of the first guys she's met who understands that someone asexual can be kinky too. We're both fetishists, and are very intimate with each other - but (obviously) no sex is involved. There are those in the BDSM community who don't understand how you can be kinky and NOT "do the deed". In a marginalized group like fetishists, you'd think that we'd find most would have an open mind whereas our sort of dynamic is concerned. I can tell you now, though, that's not usually the case. Do I enjoy our relationship? Immensely. From my perspective, it's the most honest, and intimate one I've ever been in - and I've been in my share of failed relationships over the past two and a half decades. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 While I'm very similar culturally to asexuals, like I always say, being an introvert with a love of Joss Whedon and a distain for romance Slightly off-topic, but I suspect that being introverted is more of an internet thing than an asexual thing. When I attended an AVEN meet-up, many of the people there seemed pretty extroverted and weren't active on the AVEN forums, suggesting that the online asexual community is a biased sample of asexuals. OK, but that's exactly my point. Had you quoted my entire post instead of this one part, you'd see I was saying exactly that... sexual orientation has nothing to do with personality or favorite tv shows. My opinion of asexuals is that they are regular people like everyone else. My opinion of younger AVEN members is that there appears to be significant confusion about the relationship of asexual the orientation and asexual the culture, and that having traits of one has nothing to do with having traits of the other. While I'm very similar culturally to asexuals, like I always say, being an introvert with a love of Joss Whedon and a distain for romance (I stopped watching Bones for years because I objected to the sexual relationships) doesn't change the fact that I am sexual, and not a particularly unusual sexual at that. Link to post Share on other sites
sasha123 Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I am afraid saying that asexuals are just like normal people is not very illuminating. It’s like saying that atheists are just like normal people. Of course they are. They always existed. But when atheists first appeared on the scene in 18th century it was difficult for anyone to relate to them outside that particular facet of their personality, and the society despised, hated or tried to change them, suspecting them of all kind of crimes. They tried to identify “typical characteristics of an atheist”. I find it so interesting that heresy was so much more common than atheism. And there’s heresy in the sexual realm too, also much more accepted. Their “I do not believe and I don’t want to fake it” is similar to “I don’t experience sexual attraction and I don’t want to fake it” as part of the same quest for authentic living. And sexuals are going through similar pains in understanding asexuals that well intended people, progressive but religious went through back then. It took a while. In our heart of hearts we as sexuals know there’s nothing wrong with our asexual loved ones and we love them. But we can’t keep from secretly hoping they will change and see the light, because that particular mode of interaction – sexual interaction – is so much at the core of our being. We still have an 18th century level of acceptance. It takes not only open mindness, but living in close proximity to really understand because it is so ingrained in our nature. Link to post Share on other sites
Crying Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I sure don't like the one I met! Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 This title sounds like a porno flick! Link to post Share on other sites
missava123 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I get very angry when people openly talk about their sex life around me. It makes me feel very inadequate and like an outsider Link to post Share on other sites
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