The New Aromantic Thread (v.1.5)

[Kellam]

I completely agree with the last three commenters (The Not So Impossible Girl, EllaChinoise and Musette). Just substitute the word "work" for "college" and you've got me nailed down. I just fulfilled a long held ambition. I purchased a 28 foot sailboat that I intend to live on. One of the upsides is that I will no longer have to have roommates and can be totally in charge of my living situation. Also, I love solitude and not having much in the way of possessions. These states are often listed as two of the biggest hurdles to adjusting to the liveaboard life. I can't wait until I'm a skilled enough sailor to be alone at sea for a week or more at a time. Just me, the sky and the ocean for days on end. Sounds damn near rapturous to me.

[Lyariage]

Aaahhh same. I spend entire weekends by myself sometimes, just in my little dorm room, and don't speak to anyone for 2 entire days. Good times.

But I mostly do this because I'm becoming exhausted with my social life. And I don't feel like I can relate to anyone around me anymore. So for this semester, I'm a recluse and I'm totally fine with it.

Well, this definitely sounds like me! The only reason I ever seen to leave my apartment when I'm at college is to either go to classes, to practice percussion (I'm a music major, so that's not exactly extracurricular), or to buy food (usually on the way back from a practice session). It's not unusual for me to go entire weekends without having to interact with others, and I actually really like it. (I have no idea how I handled two years of sharing a room with a roommate when I lived in the dorms.)

I'm also a bit reluctant to foster a social life because I don't like the social responsibility that comes with it, because I don't want to feel obligated to respond to text messages or make plans when I don't feel like being around others. I think people get thrown off guard because I'm so talkative, but I can almost seem hostile if I'm forced into being social when I don't have a chance to mentally prep myself to be around others. Phone calls that I can't screen are especially bad, and I have a bone to pick with Facebook for making it so that people can message you anytime 24/7 trying to strike up conversation with zero warning, but expecting a response. If my college social life is indicative of anything, it's that my twin's capacity to manage my social life is one of the main reasons that I have friends in the first place, with only one or two notable exceptions.

I agree wholeheartedly with the general consensus (Musette, NotSoImpossibleGirl, Kellam). *laugh* Musette - I totally understand the social obligation thing, especially cause I'm the same with my ability to hold general chatty conversation. I call myself an extroverted introvert because of my outwardly talkative nature. Too much though, and I slowly shrivel up. I learned ages ago to turn off Chat on Facebook. So much better!

I've been living by myself since just before Chrissy and with holidays thrown in, I have managed to go for days without talking to another person. It's strange though, I haven't felt lonely at all. I go online, I watch tv shows, so it still feels like I'm still part of the human race without really contributing. I get cuddles from my cat and talk to them as often as I like. I've never felt more peaceful and more like myself and it's awesome :)

Weirdly though, I still have this voice in my head (I call it my "society expectations" voice) that looks at people like me and thinks I'm a bit odd for liking spending so much time alone. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with people who I click with and feel comfortable with, I've just had more me-time lately. This same "society expectations" voice is probably the same voice that used to tell me that one day I'd find a husband, get married, understand the whole sex thing and have kids (and now life has proven to me that there's a high possibility that none of that will ever occur) so I don't really pay attention to it.

Which makes me wonder... how many people are there in the world who follow that same sort of voice doing what they think they should be doing, instead of following their heart? (totally off-track segue that probably doesn't belong in this thread, I know! I think big :) )

I completely agree with the last three commenters (The Not So Impossible Girl, EllaChinoise and Musette). Just substitute the word "work" for "college" and you've got me nailed down. I just fulfilled a long held ambition. I purchased a 28 foot sailboat that I intend to live on. One of the upsides is that I will no longer have to have roommates and can be totally in charge of my living situation. Also, I love solitude and not having much in the way of possessions. These states are often listed as two of the biggest hurdles to adjusting to the liveaboard life. I can't wait until I'm a skilled enough sailor to be alone at sea for a week or more at a time. Just me, the sky and the ocean for days on end. Sounds damn near rapturous to me.

That sounds absolutely amazing!!

[words are futile devices]

I've been trying to figure out what it is exactly about the conventional ideas of "romance" that repel me so much. I think the word I've been searching for is contrived. It all seems SO contrived.

There is a person who I've loved for several years now, in the sense that I want to be with him exclusively. Even though he's in a serious relationship with someone else now, I still very much love him and probably always will. I could have dated him years ago. We were once watching Netflix together and he reached for my hand. I awkwardly dodged his romantic advance, later explaining that I saw him as more of a brother. Even though that didn't seem quite right, I knew then that I just could not enter into a romantic relationship with him. Even though I love him to bits, I still wouldn't be able to. What we had was already perfect. We were best friends; we could share everything with each other. We had a tight emotional bond, and I reveled in every moment we spent together. It was wonderful to me, but it wasn't enough to him. He felt that my lack of romantic desire was a rejection of him, when that was never my intention. I wanted us to be "together," but I couldn't fathom playing the girlfriend role. And this confused me for so long! How could I want to be with someone so badly yet have no wish to take things in a romantic direction? Wasn't that supposed to be the next step?

I'm so glad to know now that romance isn't necessarily the end all-be all; that the relationship spectrum is vaster and more colorful than I could have ever imagined. And resting in the knowledge that there are others in the world who understand my relationship ideal - and better yet, might actually want something similar - well, it's just really nice. :) I wish it stopped me from pining for what I can't have with the person I love, but that's unfortunately something I just have to keep working through...

And sorry this turned into a novel. Just got stuff on my mind and writing it out helps me sort my thoughts.

[byanyotherusername]

I've been trying to figure out what it is exactly about the conventional ideas of "romance" that repel me so much. I think the word I've been searching for is contrived. It all seems SO contrived.

There is a person who I've loved for several years now, in the sense that I want to be with him exclusively. Even though he's in a serious relationship with someone else now, I still very much love him and probably always will. I could have dated him years ago. We were once watching Netflix together and he reached for my hand. I awkwardly dodged his romantic advance, later explaining that I saw him as more of a brother. Even though that didn't seem quite right, I knew then that I just could not enter into a romantic relationship with him. Even though I love him to bits, I still wouldn't be able to. What we had was already perfect. We were best friends; we could share everything with each other. We had a tight emotional bond, and I reveled in every moment we spent together. It was wonderful to me, but it wasn't enough to him. He felt that my lack of romantic desire was a rejection of him, when that was never my intention. I wanted us to be "together," but I couldn't fathom playing the girlfriend role. And this confused me for so long! How could I want to be with someone so badly yet have no wish to take things in a romantic direction? Wasn't that supposed to be the next step?

I'm so glad to know now that romance isn't necessarily the end all-be all; that the relationship spectrum is vaster and more colorful than I could have ever imagined. And resting in the knowledge that there are others in the world who understand my relationship ideal - and better yet, might actually want something similar - well, it's just really nice. :) I wish it stopped me from pining for what I can't have with the person I love, but that's unfortunately something I just have to keep working through...

And sorry this turned into a novel. Just got stuff on my mind and writing it out helps me sort my thoughts.

I have been in your exact situation, more than once. It is one of the reasons why I go back and forth about the idea of having a queerplatonic partner... I really like that close, best friends space that I seem to most often achieve with people who have romantic feelings for me, and then distance themselves when they realize they aren't returned. It's a lose-lose where everyone ends up feeling hurt and rejected. >.<

I wish you the best of luck finding the types of relationships you desire.

[A Taste of Harmony]

-

[Fiddler's_Green]

Recently (early february) I initiated a QPR with another ace-friend of mine. She experiences romantic attraction and had been attracted to me for some time. Our friendship has grown closer and closer to the point of being near-best friends. So I proposed the relationship and now we are in the thick of it. I think it's really interesting how we can love each other so much yet have our love be in-congruent. This does however leave the both of us partially confused about what exactly we are doing or feeling for each other. While it doesn't make me question my aromanticism it still can be confusing and complicated to work out exactly how you feel about another person, especially when there arent common reference points for a relationship like ours.

[Guest]

I see the legendary thread became a legend. ^_^

Oh hi, I'm new here Doctor Azo, I've been here before a long time ago when I was a wee immature guy. Now I'm a wee not-so-immature guy but still quite mad. I'm just here again for the cake to make bridges for an upcoming MineCraft server for asexuals, aromantics and A-friendly members of AVEN and Aroplane.

[Satin]

Hey folks. Sorry for intruding but is this the place to ask silly questions about (a)romantic things that confuse me but that imho don't deserve their own thread?

[killerbee13]

It depends. How silly are we talking? If it's about world domination, then this is probably the place.

[Wokgran X]

Just joining the aro/ace train too o/



Indeed, i can spend some really long time alone, but, i do prefer to at least be on the internet, read what people say, test some opinions and such. (More out of boredom than anything, if i have a nice game or some anime to watch, it's bye bye society)

Now, it's my time to tell an aro/ace story xD.
I like to remember one thing that happened to me when i was in high-school. I used to think that being alone was something superior, better and respectful, so, i focused (way too much) into building walls and making my own space without friends and etc. Dealing with things mostly by myself, making all/most of the work in group activities, and so on. That, ironically, lead people to believe i was a psycho/weirdo (i did enforced it a little, because it was very convenient, since they stay far from you when then fear you) and, when one job application that i wanted appeared, that was by indication of the same school students, unsurprisingly, i was denied. (Later discovered that i was denied by being "weird" and "psycho" and etc).

This was all around a professional high-school, focused in publicity and marketing, and it had (still does) an agency that have as main employees students and as managers teachers. I had some quite hard time trying, after the initial fail, to enter that agency. On my third attempt, thanks to being close to the teachers and talking with them, discussing the subject, making nice questions and so on, i was able to get in, but even then, after some time, one of the teachers said something in the lines of:
"You know, you wasn't really selected to enter, but, i did some comments to make the other teachers more prone in accepting you and then, you entered. But i admit it, it wasn't a bad choice, you proved yourself to be a very good art director, better than i expected."

When i heard this, first i got happy that "my plan worked", but then i realized how fool i was being for forcing this into my life, sure, being alone is awesome... But we make our professional path way harder that way, connections are way too important to just "avoid and get in by skill", people don't see skill as much as they see relationship connections.

To this day i still have trouble connecting (in a deeper way) with people, even on the friendship level. One of my close friends likes to kid that if he make some kind of mistake I might "cross him out of my friend list forever" xD, it's not true, but i do some heavy judging all the time indeed, and this makes people really uncomfortable.

[Guest]

Just joining the aro/ace train too o/

Indeed, i can spend some really long time alone, but, i do prefer to at least be on the internet, read what people say, test some opinions and such. (More out of boredom than anything, if i have a nice game or some anime to watch, it's bye bye society)

Now, it's my time to tell an aro/ace story xD.

I like to remember one thing that happened to me when i was in high-school. I used to think that being alone was something superior, better and respectful, so, i focused (way too much) into building walls and making my own space without friends and etc. Dealing with things mostly by myself, making all/most of the work in group activities, and so on. That, ironically, lead people to believe i was a psycho/weirdo (i did enforced it a little, because it was very convenient, since they stay far from you when then fear you) and, when one job application that i wanted appeared, that was by indication of the same school students, unsurprisingly, i was denied. (Later discovered that i was denied by being "weird" and "psycho" and etc).

This was all around a professional high-school, focused in publicity and marketing, and it had (still does) an agency that have as main employees students and as managers teachers. I had some quite hard time trying, after the initial fail, to enter that agency. On my third attempt, thanks to being close to the teachers and talking with them, discussing the subject, making nice questions and so on, i was able to get in, but even then, after some time, one of the teachers said something in the lines of:

"You know, you wasn't really selected to enter, but, i did some comments to make the other teachers more prone in accepting you and then, you entered. But i admit it, it wasn't a bad choice, you proved yourself to be a very good art director, better than i expected."

When i heard this, first i got happy that "my plan worked", but then i realized how fool i was being for forcing this into my life, sure, being alone is awesome... But we make our professional path way harder that way, connections are way too important to just "avoid and get in by skill", people don't see skill as much as they see relationship connections.

To this day i still have trouble connecting (in a deeper way) with people, even on the friendship level. One of my close friends likes to kid that if he make some kind of mistake I might "cross him out of my friend list forever" xD, it's not true, but i do some heavy judging all the time indeed, and this makes people really uncomfortable.

I can relate to this, to a degree. I've even been called a psycho before, mostly due to my "eccentric" behaviour and quirkiness. These days, I am actually likely to suffer from neurosis, not psychosis. I too have trouble forming deep connections with people and too often people piss me off or vice-versa (often people pissing me off results in me pissing people off :P).

I read somewhere that research has shown that people tend to favour social connections more than skill. It sounds believable anyway....

[Wokgran X]

I can relate to this, to a degree. I've even been called a psycho before, mostly due to my "eccentric" behaviour and quirkiness. These days, I am actually likely to suffer from neurosis, not psychosis. I too have trouble forming deep connections with people and too often people piss me off or vice-versa (often people pissing me off results in me pissing people off :P).

I read somewhere that research has shown that people tend to favour social connections more than skill. It sounds believable anyway....

xD I remember one day going with a long and black overcoat to school, people freaked out and would get out of my sight as soon as they could. :P

(They thought i was carrying weapons or something ) [Also it's not common to have overcoats here, since the coldest temperatures in my city are around 10 to 15ºC (50ºF to 59ºF)]

About the skill x social interactions, sounds true but it seems somewhat unproductive doesn't it? Especially for jobs with little to none social interaction.

[killerbee13]

Wait, the coldest temperatures there are 50° F? I walked home from school at 60° F, and it was too warm for my ordinary hoodie. And I live in the temperate Willamette Valley of Oregon, not like Canada or something. 50° is good for a bright and sunshiny day, here, although I suppose it's Fall in the southern hemisphere, not spring like it is here.

[Wokgran X]

Well, the humidity is very different too (very high), so slight changes in real temperature make great changes in "realfeel temperature". But, sure, it's not that cold, that's why i said that overcoats are not common, people here use coats, jackets, pullovers or hoodies only. It was more for show than anything. Also, i can tolerate cold/heat pretty well and the coat was open, so it was not blocking that much heat and there are two layers, the inner one is removable, and the outer, fixed layer, is not as heat-blocking as most hoodies out there.



Last summer here reached real temperatures about 30ºC to 40ºC (86ºF to 104ºF) with realfeel about 50ºC (122ºF). [Hottest day 40,8ºC and 57ºC [134,6ºF !!!] realfeel]

Really, i don't understand how people like living here, in this literal hell/inferno.
And all the "going to the beach culture" thing too... going almost naked in that scorching sun to be on top of a equally hot sand with almost no wind?! No thank you.

So how do you, fellow aro/aces, deal with the beach? I do think it's utterly pointless (and somewhat boring and dangerous, since the water/sand it's not necessarily clean).
I guess most people go to look at the semi-nude people and hit on them. [have managed to avoid beaches for about 10 years now o/]

[killerbee13]

Oh, I see now, you said "it's not common", and I read "it's not UNcommon". Those negations, man, always gettin' ya'. Yeah, makes way more sense that way, now that I'm not reading exactly the opposite of what you said. The humidity in Oregon is also pretty high, I think it's generally in the range of 80% relative.

Also, the beaches here are, well, not like California. The Coastal Range's cliffs come directly down to the sand, and it's all grey and fairly stormy on the coast. My greatest memories of the beach are mostly the sand, and how it permeates entire cities on the coast. If you ever go to Seaside, Oregon, you'll likely notice that even on the opposite side of the (not terribly small) city, there is a visible layer of sand on all the pavement. There aren't that many semi-nude people there, though then again, I haven't been in a while, and probably wouldn't have noticed if there were. Also, I sunburn easily and don't completely like swimming that much, particularly not in the Pacific which is never higher than 40° F.

Edit: The saltwater taffy produced out of Seaside is good though. Whenever we went, we'd make sure to visit the various candy shops. I was, of course, under the age of 14 on all but the last of those trips, so that may have had some influence on trip planning.

[Lambda Corvus]

Well, the humidity is very different too (very high), so slight changes in real temperature make great changes in "realfeel temperature". But, sure, it's not that cold, that's why i said that overcoats are not common, people here use coats, jackets, pullovers or hoodies only. It was more for show than anything. Also, i can tolerate cold/heat pretty well and the coat was open, so it was not blocking that much heat and there are two layers, the inner one is removable, and the outer, fixed layer, is not as heat-blocking as most hoodies out there.

Last summer here reached real temperatures about 30ºC to 40ºC (86ºF to 104ºF) with realfeel about 50ºC (122ºF). [Hottest day 40,8ºC and 57ºC [134,6ºF !!!] realfeel]

Really, i don't understand how people like living here, in this literal hell/inferno.

And all the "going to the beach culture" thing too... going almost naked in that scorching sun to be on top of a equally hot sand with almost no wind?! No thank you.

So how do you, fellow aro/aces, deal with the beach? I do think it's utterly pointless (and somewhat boring and dangerous, since the water/sand it's not necessarily clean).

I guess most people go to look at the semi-nude people and hit on them. [have managed to avoid beaches for about 10 years now o/]

I haven't visited a true ocean-side beach in over a decade; the closest I have been would be a lake, and I have even managed to avoid them for about seven years. I love swimming, but only when I am alone or around people I deeply trust, and never if the body of water is dark. This precludes nighttime swimming, of course, regardless of if it is a lake or unlighted pool. Damned irrational fear of spiny fish lurking in the dark. Stupid sturgeon.

[Kagon]

I haven't gone to a beach many years, but if I *were* to go it would be because it was incredibly hot outside and the body of water I would be *swimming* in would provide a place to cool down. Mind you - it would have to be very hot. And - I would have to be pretty desperate and there would have to be no A\C. Notable exception being if I were camping, and I would then see it as simply a way to cool down without the desperation attached.

I....don't really like swimming. It involves me being in a swimsuit. In public. I seriously learned how to play an additional instrument in High School so I could join Marching Band to avoid this fate (P.E wavier, yay!).

[pfunk08]

I 'came out' to my mom almost before I did to myself, and she said that the asexuality part made perfect sense, but she just couldn't wrap her head around me being aromantic, i.e. not wanting a relationship. From my perspective, it's actually more obvious than the other, but apparently it's not so to other people?

Looking back, I pretty much came out to my mom and my sister years before I knew what aromaticism was, and definitely before I associated with it. I distinctly remember telling them I wasn't interested in dating anyone because it is too exhausting and stressful and that I am much happier alone, followed by the obligatory "that will change when you find the right person." In hindsight, it might explain the "So....what do you look for in a girl/relationship?" type questions I get from them with some regularity :lol: .

[Kolibri]

I 'came out' to my mom almost before I did to myself, and she said that the asexuality part made perfect sense, but she just couldn't wrap her head around me being aromantic, i.e. not wanting a relationship. From my perspective, it's actually more obvious than the other, but apparently it's not so to other people?

Looking back, I pretty much came out to my mom and my sister years before I knew what aromaticism was, and definitely before I associated with it. I distinctly remember telling them I wasn't interested in dating anyone because it is too exhausting and stressful and that I am much happier alone, followed by the obligatory "that will change when you find the right person." In hindsight, it might explain the "So....what do you look for in a girl/relationship?" type questions I get from them with some regularity :lol: .

It was the same with me. But it was mostly my big sister who thought/still thinks that I just have to meet "Mr. Right" and bam: I am immediately "normal". Yeah, well that didn't happen and won't happen ever, but I can't change how she thinks about it (and to be honest, it doesn't really matter for me - people think what they want to think). I think it is hard to see this topic like we aromantics do ... especially when it is very important for so many people to have a partner ^_^

Haha, yeah. The question "what do you look for in a man/relationship?" is always coming up and the hope they would find someone for me doesn't seem to die ;)

[Guest]

If it wasn't for the heat and the humidity (not that the UK isn't humid itself) central and southern America would be on my list of places I want to visit most. I do love beaches, but not with lots of people especially demi-naked people. It's why I much prefer beaches during the colder and wetter seasons....also with the sun not being be too strong....

*Tries to come up with something on how this is related to being aromantic but fails miserably*

[Wokgran X]

If it wasn't for the heat and the humidity (not that the UK isn't humid itself) central and southern America would be on my list of places I want to visit most. I do love beaches, but not with lots of people especially demi-naked people. It's why I much prefer beaches during the colder and wetter seasons....also with the sun not being be too strong....

*Tries to come up with something on how this is related to being aromantic but fails miserably*

well, not only the semi-nude factor enhance people hornyness and chances of being judged as an ace super fast, but it also makes all casual contact more direct and turns hugs and pats on the back into "skinship". Which is like giving the final blow to it, if aromantic or contact repulsed. (at least in my case)

[Zash]

I 'came out' to my mom almost before I did to myself, and she said that the asexuality part made perfect sense, but she just couldn't wrap her head around me being aromantic, i.e. not wanting a relationship. From my perspective, it's actually more obvious than the other, but apparently it's not so to other people?

Looking back, I pretty much came out to my mom and my sister years before I knew what aromaticism was, and definitely before I associated with it. I distinctly remember telling them I wasn't interested in dating anyone because it is too exhausting and stressful and that I am much happier alone, followed by the obligatory "that will change when you find the right person." In hindsight, it might explain the "So....what do you look for in a girl/relationship?" type questions I get from them with some regularity :lol: .

It was the same with me. But it was mostly my big sister who thought/still thinks that I just have to meet "Mr. Right" and bam: I am immediately "normal". Yeah, well that didn't happen and won't happen ever, but I can't change how she thinks about it (and to be honest, it doesn't really matter for me - people think what they want to think). I think it is hard to see this topic like we aromantics do ... especially when it is very important for so many people to have a partner ^_^

Haha, yeah. The question "what do you look for in a man/relationship?" is always coming up and the hope they would find someone for me doesn't seem to die ;)

My standard response to that sort of question is 'non-existence'. I think I have crushed the drive for trying to find me a girlfriend out of my family due to lack of response.

[Guest]

If it wasn't for the heat and the humidity (not that the UK isn't humid itself) central and southern America would be on my list of places I want to visit most. I do love beaches, but not with lots of people especially demi-naked people. It's why I much prefer beaches during the colder and wetter seasons....also with the sun not being be too strong....

*Tries to come up with something on how this is related to being aromantic but fails miserably*

well, not only the semi-nude factor enhance people hornyness and chances of being judged as an ace super fast, but it also makes all casual contact more direct and turns hugs and pats on the back into "skinship". Which is like giving the final blow to it, if aromantic or contact repulsed. (at least in my case)

I'm contact repulsed if unwanted or unexpected. I also don't like people being too close to me, especially strangers. I don't see how it's related to aromanticality though....

[Wokgran X]

I'm contact repulsed if unwanted or unexpected. I also don't like people being too close to me, especially strangers. I don't see how it's related to aromanticality though....

Sure, i guess i was having some misconceptions about what being aromantic mean. But i do have a hard time imagining someone being romantic and touch-repulsed. Must be really hard being that way.

[Guest]

I'm contact repulsed if unwanted or unexpected. I also don't like people being too close to me, especially strangers. I don't see how it's related to aromanticality though....

Sure, i guess i was having some misconceptions about what being aromantic mean. But i do have a hard time imagining someone being romantic and touch-repulsed. Must be really hard being that way.

I think you're thinking something like intimacy.

Sometimes I wonder if my lack of romantic attraction has something to do with my sensitivity and lack of experience, but honestly I'm just not attracted to the idea of "dating" or feeling romantic attraction. Hanging out, having long conversations that go on even when I'm tired or otherwise greatly enjoying their company however does. If it progresses into a more intimate relationship, then fine....but I can't see how it'll get particularly romantic.

[Satin]

It depends. How silly are we talking? If it's about world domination, then this is probably the place.

Nah, I'm afraid not. Actually, scrap the questions, I think I figured it out myself by now. But thanks anyway. Oh and hi from me btw. I don't think I've been posting in this thread before but count me in if you still plan on taking over the planet. I recently (as in the past two days) discovered I've probably been aromantic all along so I might as well join when you take over. :P

[Stormharrier]

Last time I visited the beach I sat in the shade away from everyone else and dug a big hole in the sand.

[pfunk08]

Last time I visited the beach I sat in the shade away from everyone else and dug a big hole in the sand.

Digging big holes in the sand is what beaches were made for! I stayed at a place once that had a snow shovel, who knows why, but it became the most epic shovel to dig a hole in the beach with haha.

[A Taste of Harmony]

When I think about relationship I think of it more like Kirk and Spock type relationship. Deep friendship, partnership, not quite but marriage-like friendship maybe although mine won't be done in a space ship. I'm not sure about physical affection though.

[Valw]

Well, the humidity is very different too (very high), so slight changes in real temperature make great changes in "realfeel temperature". But, sure, it's not that cold, that's why i said that overcoats are not common, people here use coats, jackets, pullovers or hoodies only. It was more for show than anything. Also, i can tolerate cold/heat pretty well and the coat was open, so it was not blocking that much heat and there are two layers, the inner one is removable, and the outer, fixed layer, is not as heat-blocking as most hoodies out there.

Last summer here reached real temperatures about 30ºC to 40ºC (86ºF to 104ºF) with realfeel about 50ºC (122ºF). [Hottest day 40,8ºC and 57ºC [134,6ºF !!!] realfeel]

Really, i don't understand how people like living here, in this literal hell/inferno.

And all the "going to the beach culture" thing too... going almost naked in that scorching sun to be on top of a equally hot sand with almost no wind?! No thank you.

So how do you, fellow aro/aces, deal with the beach? I do think it's utterly pointless (and somewhat boring and dangerous, since the water/sand it's not necessarily clean).

I guess most people go to look at the semi-nude people and hit on them. [have managed to avoid beaches for about 10 years now o/]

I live in the land of ice and snow, about 800 km from the coast, so beaches pose no problems! I'm happy about that - can't stand being given 'the once over' by sexual guys.