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Lambda Corvus

The New Aromantic Thread (v.1.5)

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CodeWord:Sierra

I wonder if a high degree of personal independence correlates to being on the aromantic spectrum. From my observations of myself and several other aromantics, it does seem that high independence is associated with aromantic-spectrum identities, though I doubt one is the cause of the other. Has anyone else had this general impression? Speculate.

I suspect that this is accurate. It would not be unusual to see someone who is part of the Aromantic spectrum to be very dependent on another individual or individuals; however I believe most of the Aromantic spectrum are very independent people. I am an Aromantic Asexual, and have absolutely no doubt about this. I have never been interested in anything that comes with a close romantic or sexual relationship. The thought of being with someone in such a way is very discomforting to me. I am a very independent person though. I don't need any company to enjoy my day; that doesn't mean I don't enjoy a small handful of company every once in awhile, but I don't feel the emotion loneliness. I have never wished to be with anyone because I felt lonely. Humans are very dependent creatures, and we strive through social contact, but for those who do not need or wish for this contact usually to not want close relationships with anyone; so some end up being aromantic. That is because these individuals can usually depend on themselves. I'm not saying that every aromantic is this way, because that would be untrue. However I do believe that most people in the Aromantic spectrum are very independent individuals.

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The Not So Impossible Girl

Man, I always feel like the odd one out! I actually wanted to go to prom. I wanted to go for the experience. I mean, it is a once in a life time thing... But anyway it did end up getting pretty awkward during the pre-dance pictures while everyone's parents are doting and saying how we "all grew up so fast". My parents didn't go to that. I didn't know they were supposed to. And everyone kept asking me where my parents were...

And then it got even more awkward, but I honestly laugh about it now. I went with my best friend Ben, who knew I was ace at the time. I told him, and he seemed really okay with it, and then he asked me to prom anyway. But his MOM is obsessed with me. She wants me to be her daughter in law so badly. She wants Ben and me to get married, but we're only 19! During the whole parents thing she made me feel really uncomfortable. I wasn't going to tell her I'm asexual. Ben and I just want to do our own thing. She doesn't understand that. She still acts really weird towards me on Facebook, but whatever.

Ben likes other girls and wants a "real" girlfriend. I am perfectly okay with this. In the end we actually had an incredibly fun time at prom. It was mostly creepin' around the hotel, running back to the table for the phones we forgot, eating hard candy, and some really bad dancing. It was fun, and we got to go in a limo with about 8 other people. :)

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swim2thesun

I saw these comical Aromantic valentines and I thought I'd drop them here.

tumblr_mzxey7CLr01qi7cdqo1_1280.jpg

tumblr_mzxey7CLr01qi7cdqo2_1280.jpg

Those are awesome, where did you find them?

they were made by this person on tumblr: http://forest-minuet.tumblr.com/

link directly to the cards: http://forest-minuet.tumblr.com/post/74421479611/i-made-some-intentionally-shitty-asexual-and-or

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Mezzo Forte

Oh hey, I'm surprised I didn't notice this thread sooner!

I'm actually quite a fan of aromantic discussion, enough that I found myself becoming a moderator on AroPlane and an admin of Arocalypse without really setting out to be. I don't tend to frequent this AVEN subforum very much though, since very few discussions on here tend to feel relevant to me at all.

One thing that makes me feel incredibly fortunate is that so many people in my life value friendship as deeply as they do. My best friend is an ex-boyfriend who I continued talking with even while he still had feelings for me. He eventually let the romantic feelings fade, and now we're both incredibly open about how special our friendship is to each other. He was the first person I ever came out to, and continues to be awesome about it. I'm also very lucky that my twin values friendship so deeply. I could rant forever about how fantastic my sibling relationship is, though I already have alluded to it in other threads plenty of times. Basically, my twin is a guaranteed best friend for life, regardless of relationship status. I've definitely encountered the "I have a significant other now, so my friends don't matter" types in my life, but my twin's proven not to be one, and so far, my best friend doesn't seem to be either (in fact, I'm kinda rooting for him when it comes to his romantic endeavors, especially since he doesn't wallow in self-loathing over the lack of a girlfriend).

Sometimes, it's a bit of a drag not really knowing any other aromantics offline, but I at least find comfort in the fact that I have people in my life that are not only cool with my orientation, but that they also genuinely value my friendship.

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Lambda Corvus

What kind of things do we all do in our free time? Perhaps this has been asked before, but it is fun to hear about -- and get ideas from -- other peoples' activities.

Most of my 'free' time, when I have it, is a confluence of playing Pokémon, reading the Pokémon manga (I'll catch up one day), playing an RPG or L4D2, trying to write, trying to draw, imagining what I would depict in both of said media, and occasionally programming. Come to think of it, it has been a long while since I've done a Lisp program; I should find something worth making.

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poindexter

What kind of things do we all do in our free time? Perhaps this has been asked before, but it is fun to hear about -- and get ideas from -- other peoples' activities.

When I'm not planning on taking over the world:

Internet - Tumblr, AVEN, and IMDb are the main websites I frequent.

Watching movies or television (depending if there's anything on).

Drawing on Photoshop

Knitting/crochet

Reading

Playing TTRPGs with my friends.

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Zash

@poindexter: I propose we ally ourselves in taking over the world. At least until the world is under our control. Then we can duke it out to see who the true ruler of the world is. Deal?

Anyways, on the topic of stuff I do:

I play several MMOs and Minecraft and other games... (Damn creepers keep blowing up my house)

Watching anime and NetFlix.

Table Top gaming with my friends, either in person or over IRC.

Airsoft (AKA running around a dark warehouse with BB guns shooting at each other. Wearing appropriate safety equipment of course)

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Random Happenstance

What kind of things do we all do in our free time? Perhaps this has been asked before, but it is fun to hear about -- and get ideas from -- other peoples' activities.

Pretty much all of my time is free time thanks to being chronically ill. Well, as free as being ill allows you to be.

Depending on my energy levels I'll do things like;

Listening to audio books

Listening to music

Colouring in colouring books

Watching stuff on Netflix

Rewatching movies/tv shows I own

Watching wildlife documentaries

Sometimes playing L4D2 with friends

Playing Minecraft

Playing Pokemon (more common than the other games)

Playing with my cat-friend

If I weren't so ill, other activities I'd probably do are:

Walks in nature

Gardening

Playing the violin

Photography

Reading

Drawing

Writing

Swimming

Woodwork

Cooking new foods

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Dirge

Writing. Then, for a change of pace, some more writing.

When I run out of words for the blank page, I also enjoy a lively round of Left 4 Dead with friends, or an RPG played alone. Can't wait until I replace my gaming computer and can boot up New Vegas again.

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Stormharrier

What kind of things do we all do in our free time? Perhaps this has been asked before, but it is fun to hear about -- and get ideas from -- other peoples' activities.

Looking after my rats seems to take a large portion of my spare time actually.

Other than that, playing games (currently Lego City Undercover), reading, programming (I'm making a game with a few friends), going to the cinema with said friends, archery, and I'm also supposed to be finding time to paint my wargames models, write stories or do some of my cross-stitch stuff, but I haven't been very good at that so far this year.

I'm going on a snowboarding holiday next month though, so I'm hoping I'll be vaguely competent by the end of it and will have the enthusiasm to find somewhere to do it over here every so often.

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lonely fox

My free time at the moment is mostly studying (or should be anyway).

Apart from that is TV, DVD's, playing about with one of my vehicles or model building (airfix and hornby)

But it the summer my free time activities also include walking, cycling and horse ridding, or just going out somewhere for the day (museum and such like)

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That asexual guy

Going to movies and plays

Geocaching

Reading

Starbucks

Hanging with friends

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byanyotherusername

In my free time I go on AVEN. :P I also like to read, write, go for walks, bake, watch TV/movies, and hang out with friends.

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poindexter

@poindexter: I propose we ally ourselves in taking over the world. At least until the world is under our control. Then we can duke it out to see who the true ruler of the world is. Deal?

Sounds like a plan. We'll be like the Avengers only better and more megalomaniacal...

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A Taste of Harmony

-

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Heart of Darkness
On 2/3/2014 at 5:55 AM, AlGorithm said:

 

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VindicatorPhoenix

What kind of things do we all do in our free time? Perhaps this has been asked before, but it is fun to hear about -- and get ideas from -- other peoples' activities.

Video games and loud electronic music in my Dad's basement. 8)

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Zash

Hmm, Poindexter... We may have competition from LunaticLauren... Unless she would like to join our alliance to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! <thunder crash and maniacal laughter>

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Heart of Darkness

Hmm, Poindexter... We may have competition from LunaticLauren... Unless she would like to join our alliance to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! <thunder crash and maniacal laughter>

I will work with you on the sole condition that I am head of the international intelligence department. We'll become an all-powerful oligarchy

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A Taste of Harmony

Another question time,

Do you have any relationship model that are portrayed in media or literature or in anything that you like? ^_^

I've watched transformer movies again recently and I cry every time Optimus prime dies. So sad..

Anyway I thought the relationship between Bumblebee and Sam is quite cute.

bumblebee-sam.jpg

Personally I like the relationship between Optimus Prime and Sam a little bit better,

but Sam and bumblebee is so adorable together.

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Random Happenstance

Another question time,

Do you have any relationship model that are portrayed in media or literature or in anything that you like? ^_^

My favourite friendships have to be:

Joan and Sherlock from Elementary (probably the best)

Finn and Jake in Adventure Time

Troy and Abed in Community

all of Seven's friendships (especially Seven and the Doctor) in Star Trek:Voyager

Matilda and Miss Honey from Matilda

The Doctor and Donna from Doctor Who.

Merry and Pippin in The Lord of The Rings

I'm sure there are more but not that I can remember right now.

It's tough to separate the relationships I love from the characters I love sometimes though. Since if I love a character I'll love seeing them interact with anyone.

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Zash

Hmm, Poindexter... We may have competition from LunaticLauren... Unless she would like to join our alliance to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! <thunder crash and maniacal laughter>

I will work with you on the sole condition that I am head of the international intelligence department. We'll become an all-powerful oligarchy

That's fine with me. I suck at subtle anyways (about as subtle as a brick to the face, I am told). My usual tactic is blowing up stuff until people do what I say. A way of accomplishing that without as many craters in the terrain would be welcome.

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RazorEddie

If you want things blown up I can oblige. Big booms are my forte. For some reason most of my friends start running if I even pick up a lighter...

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Zash

I get accusatory looks when things explode on TV or movies. And games, but, often those glares are justified. It is to the point where when something explodes, my knee-jerk reaction is to say, "Not my fault!"

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pfunk08

Dating. Dating never changes.

I've never been on a date, and it is probably not an experience that I will ever have, unless an outing between platonic partners counts as a date. I wouldn't even know what to do during one, whether romantic or not. Aside from being nagged to visit Build-a-Bear, what do people do on them?

When I was actively dating, I pretty much had to rely on my friends in long term romantic relationships to pretty much tell me what to do/where to go on dates. If were up to me, pretty much every date I set up would have been "lets go get some takeout and come back to my place to binge watch a TV series on Netflix." Girls I have dated in the past told me I was very indecisive because I had no concept of what would make an interesting "date" and would often try to get them to plan the dates.

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Zash

I've never knowingly gone on a date. It was the stock movie date thing. A female friend asked if I wanted to catch one of the Lord of the Rings movies (this was a while ago). I assumed it was the usual go to see it as a group thing. So I was a little surprised when I was the only other one to show up. I assumed they had to cancel because of weather (there was an epic rainstorm going on that evening). I didn't realize what was going on until she put an arm around me. It was a rather awkward viewing of the movie. At least I arrived a bit early, and had bought my ticket and was loaded with smuggled food for the theater so she didn't have the opportunity to waste much money on it. I turned her down, saying I would rather remain friends, but, that didn't happen either and we drifted apart.

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Quinoa

Well hi everyone! I'm still not sure, but I think I'm aromantic.

I've recently realized that I would be totally fine never being in a romantic relationship. I've had a lot of what I used to think were mild crushes, but now I don't think so. I have a new one, the first one since I realized I might be aromantic, and I'm realizing that when I put aside my own expectations, I don't actually want a romantic relationship with this person. They just seem like a really great person I admire and would like to get to know better. There's another person I've had whatever this is for for over a year, and I hadn't seen them in awhile. I saw this person again recently with their romantic partner, and realized that while they're still a really close friend and I still think I have whatever it was for them, I don't want a romantic relationship with them either, and I don't think I ever did. So I think what I'm experiencing are squishes, not crushes.

I've never been on a date either. I've never really liked the idea of dates--it sounds like a lot of stress and formalities just to do something like eat good food or see a movie with someone.

So... now that I've realized I'm probably aromantic, I'm starting to worry about what my life will look like. I'm pretty young now, so plenty of people my age are single, but that will change when I get older. What kind of living situation would be ideal for me? I don't know if I want to live alone, and while it's not weird to have a roommate at my age, it gets a lot harder and weirder the older I get. Also, I might want kids some day (not sure yet), but although single people CAN raise kids, there isn't really a formal model for it, and I don't know if I could provide the community that would be required. I'm also really shy, so I worry that I might be lonely when I'm older.

So anyway... here I am! I know I'm joining this thread kind of late. Sorry for the long post.

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Lambda Corvus

Well hi everyone! I'm still not sure, but I think I'm aromantic.

I've recently realized that I would be totally fine never being in a romantic relationship. I've had a lot of what I used to think were mild crushes, but now I don't think so. I have a new one, the first one since I realized I might be aromantic, and I'm realizing that when I put aside my own expectations, I don't actually want a romantic relationship with this person. They just seem like a really great person I admire and would like to get to know better. There's another person I've had whatever this is for for over a year, and I hadn't seen them in awhile. I saw this person again recently with their romantic partner, and realized that while they're still a really close friend and I still think I have whatever it was for them, I don't want a romantic relationship with them either, and I don't think I ever did. So I think what I'm experiencing are squishes, not crushes.

I've never been on a date either. I've never really liked the idea of dates--it sounds like a lot of stress and formalities just to do something like eat good food or see a movie with someone.

So... now that I've realized I'm probably aromantic, I'm starting to worry about what my life will look like. I'm pretty young now, so plenty of people my age are single, but that will change when I get older. What kind of living situation would be ideal for me? I don't know if I want to live alone, and while it's not weird to have a roommate at my age, it gets a lot harder and weirder the older I get. Also, I might want kids some day (not sure yet), but although single people CAN raise kids, there isn't really a formal model for it, and I don't know if I could provide the community that would be required. I'm also really shy, so I worry that I might be lonely when I'm older.

So anyway... here I am! I know I'm joining this thread kind of late. Sorry for the long post.

Welcome! Don't worry about joining in 'late', as there is no measure of lateness for such prospective megathreads of uncertain topic.

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1/100 of me

What kind of things do we all do in our free time? Perhaps this has been asked before, but it is fun to hear about -- and get ideas from -- other peoples' activities.

INTERNET! I like to Internet.

But also more normal, well-adjusted person stuff. I also like to read, write, listen to and play music, play video games, and recently I started volunteering for "Let's Talk Science," a program that does science workshops for kids.

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Holsety

What kind of things do we all do in our free time? Perhaps this has been asked before, but it is fun to hear about -- and get ideas from -- other peoples' activities.

Homework and studying is a thing I do quite often, though in a few months I'll hopefully be done with that for good after I get my meteorology diploma. I also internet, video game, read, and sometimes play board games with my meteorology people.

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