DogObsessedLi Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 17 hours ago, Arhriy said: This is the part that I can't handle, where the other person feels more emotionally involved than me. I do not and have never gotten fluttery romantic feelings for anyone and I find it difficult when someone does for me because I feel like a cold person and also find reciprocating the affection. I also don't understand love at first sight or heart fluttery feelings. I too like the idea of maybe living with good friends or just living by myself and having a few really good friends. Yep, it's definitely hard and I'm finding it hard. It doesn't help matters that she's having chemo at present and tired, hot and bothered. The last time we met she really did my head in and I've sort of been pushing for space (she sort of invited herself again in far too short a time). 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 After retiring I sold my home and moved out of the city in 2011. I moved in with my parents but unfortunately my father had passed away the year before. Prior to '98 I had rented a room out to help pay off the mortgage. There were intervals when I had no renter and would be living alone. This wasn't so bad as I was working and had activities in the city to keep me occupied. When my mother is gone I guess I will be alone as I have no close friends that I would consider co-habiting with. Nor does the idea of renting out in this area appeal to me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
firebird8 Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 @Marcin How do you split up the quotes like that? I haven't found how to do it. Yes, I lived with someone once and we got along on day to day issues like what time to go to bed and get up and what temperature to have the thermostat at and what TV to watch and what food we liked. There's a LOT of every day issues and it's a makes life a lot easier if you agree on a majority of those types of things. The problem in that case was that we did not get along on world view issues. Those are more important but come up less often, if that makes sense. Eventually, though, it causes too much friction unless you both really work on respecting each other's views (and those views are ones you can respect, like if they don't believe asexual is a thing, I know I couldn't respect that viewpoint and I think they would be disrespecting me as a person by insisting on that). In any case, my list was just examples. I will say living together requires more than a month to find all the trouble spots. There's things that don't bother you at first but after months or years of it being a pattern it can start bothering you more. Ultimately, I think the most important thing is to make sure both/all people involved are willing to discuss and compromise and find solutions. The person I mentioned living with wouldn't discuss or compromise because he said that was "changing his personality for another person" (this was in context of hanging up his wet towel after taking a shower instead of throwing on the carpet). Most things can be solved if everyone wants to solve them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rainbowocollie Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 Me: doesn’t really care about romantic things, wants to stay single probably forever, identifies as on the aromantic spectrum Me roelpaying ChiChi, who is married, on my rp tumblr: omg, marriage is beautiful, love is beautiful, I love how they stick together and I love how they overcome things even though bad stuff happens I love that they still love each other even after all that I love– Anyone else like romance in fiction, but don't really care in reality? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DogObsessedLi Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 6 hours ago, questdrivencollie said: Me: doesn’t really care about romantic things, wants to stay single probably forever, identifies as on the aromantic spectrum Me roelpaying ChiChi, who is married, on my rp tumblr: omg, marriage is beautiful, love is beautiful, I love how they stick together and I love how they overcome things even though bad stuff happens I love that they still love each other even after all that I love– Anyone else like romance in fiction, but don't really care in reality? I'm not big on romance in fiction. I can tolerate a certain amount as I tolerante any aspect of life, but otherwise I get fed up with it. I think the idea in real life is beautiful, just like I find a lot of things beautiful. I wouldn't say I "want to stay single" as I'm not aplatonic like some aros are, but I have strong social needs so want close friendships if given the choice. I mean, there's different types of love and I always like story lines that twist this typical romance-laden happiness with a platonic or siblingly happy love ending. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LemonCupcakes Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 16 hours ago, questdrivencollie said: Me: doesn’t really care about romantic things, wants to stay single probably forever, identifies as on the aromantic spectrum Me roelpaying ChiChi, who is married, on my rp tumblr: omg, marriage is beautiful, love is beautiful, I love how they stick together and I love how they overcome things even though bad stuff happens I love that they still love each other even after all that I love– Anyone else like romance in fiction, but don't really care in reality? I love romance in fiction too! I’ve “shipped” characters in tv shows, books and movies for as long as I can remember, and am always genuinely happy when the main characters get together (and I really like romance novels) But even though I love the idea of soulmates and romantic love in theory, and am really happy for my friends when they get boyfriends/girlfriends, that doesn't translate to me. I’m perfectly happy being single and have never experienced any desire for a romantic relationship/have never had a crush on anyone. So I guess I’m happy for everyone else being happy and in love, but I don’t want any part in it myself 😂 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
firebird8 Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 21 hours ago, questdrivencollie said: Me: doesn’t really care about romantic things, wants to stay single probably forever, identifies as on the aromantic spectrum Me roelpaying ChiChi, who is married, on my rp tumblr: omg, marriage is beautiful, love is beautiful, I love how they stick together and I love how they overcome things even though bad stuff happens I love that they still love each other even after all that I love– Anyone else like romance in fiction, but don't really care in reality? I get frustrated with romance in fiction because a lot of the time there's no reason for the romance. There's just two people, prominent characters in the story, who are both the appropriate gender for the other to be attracted to, and ergo they have a romance. They often aren't shown to have anything in common, we're not shown that they ever do anything interesting together or share any interests...they are just "in love" just because they are. It's not always that way, and I am fine with it when the relationship makes sense. I get tired of every story in written fiction being required to have a love story built in and I get tired of the way television likes to make good partnerships never able to work out (like Fitz and Simmons on Agents of Shield, that one is a ridiculous over the top example). Doesn't anybody ever do something interesting without changing their relationship status? 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DogObsessedLi Posted July 24, 2019 Share Posted July 24, 2019 @firebird8 I also find that highly annoying, and it also gives the impression that a man and a woman can't be "just friends" (I really hate that term), they "have to have a romantic relationship". 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rainbowocollie Posted July 26, 2019 Share Posted July 26, 2019 I ordered an aromantic scarf. :3 It should arrive tomorrow. It's actually mainly for my fursuit, since that character is fully aromantic (whereas I'm grey) 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 26, 2019 Share Posted July 26, 2019 On 7/24/2019 at 3:32 AM, DogObsessedLiz said: @firebird8 I also find that highly annoying, and it also gives the impression that a man and a woman can't be "just friends" (I really hate that term), they "have to have a romantic relationship". My brother once said to nobody in particular, "Why would you be friends with a girl if you're not getting laid". 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
I, Joan Posted July 26, 2019 Share Posted July 26, 2019 33 minutes ago, will123 said: My brother once said to nobody in particular, "Why would you be friends with a girl if you're not getting laid". Oh the hypersexual world. I don’t even know how I would respond if someone said that to me... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DogObsessedLi Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 On 7/26/2019 at 5:19 AM, will123 said: My brother once said to nobody in particular, "Why would you be friends with a girl if you're not getting laid". 😮😮😮😮 To like the comment didn't seem appropriate!!!! There are no words..... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rainbowocollie Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 On 7/25/2019 at 9:33 PM, questdrivencollie said: I ordered an aromantic scarf. :3 It should arrive tomorrow. It's actually mainly for my fursuit, since that character is fully aromantic (whereas I'm grey) 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
I, Joan Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 Ooh! It’s cool. I wear scarves a lot, I may have to look into getting an ace aro one. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Green and Purple Dragon Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 On 7/22/2019 at 9:33 PM, questdrivencollie said: Anyone else like romance in fiction, but don't really care in reality? Oh I love shipping characters (as long as it’s obvious they like each other, not into the whole DracoXHarry stuff) and I love watching their romance grow. I also love seeing my friends get into relationships and fall in love. I just don’t really want any relationship like that for myself, if that makes any sorta sense. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DogObsessedLi Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 2 hours ago, questdrivencollie said: Hide contents Love the scarf!!! Perhaps I should pick up my knitting again (along with the relevant colour wool!) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 7 hours ago, DogObsessedLiz said: 😮😮😮😮 To like the comment didn't seem appropriate!!!! There are no words..... X2 I know I wish at times AVEN had a 'Don't like' reaction. Every so often I agree with a post but 'liking' it seems wrong. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DogObsessedLi Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 22 minutes ago, will123 said: X2 I know I wish at times AVEN had a 'Don't like' reaction. Every so often I agree with a post but 'liking' it seems wrong. Arocalypse has more than one type of reaction, and the forum is otherwise laid out in exactly the same way. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 I am aromantic. I see the value of platonic friendships and I feel comfortable with aromantic platonic friends. I am different, not into amatonormativity, not into marriage and not into romance...and that is okay, 100% okay for me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 52 minutes ago, stampoc said: I am aromantic. I see the value of platonic friendships and I feel comfortable with aromantic platonic friends. I am different, not into amatonormativity, not into marriage and not into romance...and that is okay, 100% okay for me. Had dinner and spent a couple of hours with a female friend last night. I met her wayyyyy back in '03 a couple of years before I figured out I was asexual (my aro awareness only happened last year). I FINALLY came out to here earlier this year. That has changed nothing between us. We still chat online, hang out and go for a meal or two. I just enjoy spending time with her 😊 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PittAce92 Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 On 7/12/2019 at 1:04 AM, will123 said: Thanks, I think LOL Oh my I wonder what you were discussing for me to say that All found in "The Sex Talk" ... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PittAce92 Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 On 7/12/2019 at 2:50 PM, Plath90 said: I am completely aromantic. I can live just with friends. I like solitude and I don't have a desire of sex or something like that Explains me perfectly as well! And welcome to AVEN!!! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PittAce92 Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 4 hours ago, stampoc said: I am aromantic. I see the value of platonic friendships and I feel comfortable with aromantic platonic friends. I am different, not into amatonormativity, not into marriage and not into romance...and that is okay, 100% okay for me. Sounds 100% perfect as well (and easier anyway!)!. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 4 hours ago, will123 said: Had dinner and spent a couple of hours with a female friend last night. I met her wayyyyy back in '03 a couple of years before I figured out I was asexual (my aro awareness only happened last year). I FINALLY came out to here earlier this year. That has changed nothing between us. We still chat online, hang out and go for a meal or two. I just enjoy spending time with her 😊 Yes, letting platonic friends know that you're aro ace is so important. It makes me cry happy tears because it's so important to let them know, don't ever hide your aro ace-ness. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 11 minutes ago, stampoc said: Yes, letting platonic friends know that you're aro ace is so important. It makes me cry happy tears because it's so important to let them know, don't ever hide your aro ace-ness. Thanks! I've only felt comfortable coming out to a few friends for two years now. I should've told her years ago that I was asexual. One of the reasons I told her was that it might've explained why I had acted a bit 'clingy' towards her. A 'friend' prior to knowing her 'walked away' from me when I answered her question in the negative concerning us having sex. Knowing how difficult it was for me to befriend girls, at times I could get panicky when I didn't get a response from her after sending a text or message. If I lost 'Anna' as a friend, what would I do? She took my coming out really well and it hasn't changed how we interact. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 28, 2019 Share Posted July 28, 2019 4 hours ago, PittAce92 said: All found in "The Sex Talk" ... Ahhhh that makes sense! LMAO 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PittAce92 Posted July 28, 2019 Share Posted July 28, 2019 On 7/26/2019 at 12:19 AM, will123 said: My brother once said to nobody in particular, "Why would you be friends with a girl if you're not getting laid". 🙄 We can hope that, maybe one day, others can learn that sex is not the main objective for some... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 28, 2019 Share Posted July 28, 2019 36 minutes ago, PittAce92 said: 🙄 We can hope that, maybe one day, others can learn that sex is not the main objective for some... Wouldn't that be great! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pinball Wizard Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 What does it mean to be romantic towards someone, and/or in this case, not romantic? Love and romanticism are different things right? I might be aromantic, but I don't understand what romance constitutes. If I think going on dinner dates or roses is stupid is that aro behavior? Is that what romance is or have I no idea lol. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 19 minutes ago, Pinball Wizard said: What does it mean to be romantic towards someone, and/or in this case, not romantic? Love and romanticism are different things right? I might be aromantic, but I don't understand what romance constitutes. If I think going on dinner dates or roses is stupid is that aro behavior? Is that what romance is or have I no idea lol. I consider myself aro, but enjoy going out for dinner ("Dont call it a date!" as my friend says) with members of the opposite sex. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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