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I don't like the idea of sex


shygirl04

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Hi I'm new to this. I am a female. Ever since I was a little girl I didn't like the idea of sex. Even to this day I don't like the idea of it. It's disgusting to me. I don't know what's wrong with me. I want a relationship someday but I don't want the sex part of it. Can anyone help me out?

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alpacaterpillar

Hello and welcome to AVEN! Have some introductory cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake:

Plenty of asexuals (and probably some sexuals) don't like the idea of having sex. If you think it's disgusting, that probably means you're sex-repulsed. You may well be asexual romantic if you want a relationship without sex. Plenty of asexuals, including myself, want that. Though from what you've put here I can't say much more, it's up to you to decide what your (a)sexual orientation is.

The FAQ should be helpful to you, if you haven't looked at it already: http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.html

This is also very helpful: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/94066-amys-masterpost-of-vis-ed-material-images/

:cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake:

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Hey! Welcome, first off there's nothing wrong with you. In fact your a lot like me, not wanting sex is perfectly fine and sex doesn't have to be part of a relationship. I argue that the two are completely separate things. You are not alone id sujest taking a waltz over to the Gray-A or demiromantic part of the forums, you'll find lots of people share your view on sex. If you wish to talk more you can PM me and of course welcome to the community!!! :)

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Sex kind of disgusts me, too. I don't mind reading or writing about it, but wanting it for myself, and even thinking of my friends being in a sexual relationship, makes me cringe. I think a relationship can be made stronger without sex, because you have to work at other ways to express your feelings.

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Moved from Asexual Q&A to The Gray Area, Sex and Related Discussions.

Lia
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No problem. Just don't have sex. It happens to many people.

You are asexual, that's all. There is nothing wrong with that ^_^

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WhenSummersGone

I don't like the idea of me having sex either, so you are definitely not alone. :)

I'm still struggling on deciding whether I can date a sexual person or not.

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The mere thought of a guy thrusting me repeatedly with his boner makes me uneasy. If I think about it long enough, I might just throw up. How I've ever managed to do it with anyone is a mystery. I can literally count the number of encounters I've had on one hand, but those few terrible, very disappointing experiences are enough for me. I don't care if it ever happens again. Sex to me just feels wrong, uncomfortable, and sickeningly invasive. It feels like something I shouldn't be doing.

Anyway, don't worry. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting sex. It's nasty and for me, quite frankly pointless.

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VindicatorPhoenix

Nothing is wrong with you, you may be asexual. Approximately 1% of all people are this way, it's natural.

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It's disgusting to me. I don't know what's wrong with me.

There is nothing wrong with you.

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  • 2 weeks later...
heart_of_scars

Hello and welcome! It's fine if you don't like the idea of sex. I don't either. This forum is great to just be yourself and figure yourself out. We don't judge.

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I just wanted to voice another possibility: Sexual aversion is a real thing and should not be mistaken for asexuality, in my opinion. The trouble with this is that to figure it out, you'd probably need the help of a licensed therapist who is familiar with asexuality (and who accepts it as a legitimate orientation, or non-orientation as the case would be). Sexual aversion, however, is a very real psychological condition.

Ultimately, it's up to you if you want to pursue that. You can choose to identify as asexual, even if you do choose to seek out a therapist to confirm or deny a potential sexual aversion. I suppose a good way to decide if you wanted to pursue that is to keep asking yourself if it's actively interfering with your ability to function as a person in your own life. For asexuals, it doesn't interfere with their lives; it can be challenging, of course, but they are more or less comfortable with their asexuality. In the case of a potential aversion, you'll find that it builds frustration when you think about relationships with others. There may be a part of you that wants to have sex, but your aversion gets in the way and the conflict between the two builds frustration, anger, sadness or other discursive emotions.

Or, another option, you could be some variety of grey asexual. In my case, I experience sexual attraction but have a very low libido (I'll see a dude and think how much I'd like to ride that, but when the chance actually arises for me to do so I completely lose all interest and I'd rather just watch some Netflix with him).

But I'm not here to tell you what your sexuality or asexuality is. That is ultimately up to you. I just think it's important to, however briefly, consider other angles of what could be going on.

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