The Success Stories Thread

[Uncle SAM]

I came out to my allosexual boyfriend of two years a few weeks ago. I was very nervous, and at first he was skeptical, but as I explained it, he came around and realized that this label did fit me. He has since been very supportive and has read everything I've sent him about asexuality (and I've sent a lot). I even told him about the forum here for partners/friends/allies. This is more of an ongoing success story than a fully developed success story, but I thought I'd share the happy news--that I feel so much better after telling him, our relationship has improved a lot, and I see blue skies on the horizon!

[Adz91]

SO happy i came across this thread. It actually gives me a lot of hope.. which i really need right now

[ChaoticHetergenousMixture]

On 11/8/2014 at 9:24 AM, Pyropotter said:

I fell in love with my best friend when I was about 14. Together we made stories, characters, worlds and eventually a small business, but never really thought of sex. Over 20 years later we are still together.

I was so tired of trying to explain that we're not lesbians, and also no I don't want to be with anyone but her, and that I want to be with her forever. Learning about Asexuality was a comforting revelation. I had an asexual success story all this time, not a confusing mess or an overlong phase or any of the things other people thought they saw. I am the luckiest ace in the universe, probably. I accidentally fell in love with someone who was my other half and as Ace as I was before we ever knew what that was. I missed out on all the confused fumbling about my sexuality, because all I could think of on all my awkward early failed dates with boys was how I wanted to go tell my best friend about a plot idea I'd just had.And how annoying it was that they wanted to hold hands.

Some day my best friend and I would like to get married. We pretty much already are, honestly. We've shared a house and a bed for more than 15 years, and have adopted a daughter/little sister together. She does the taxes, I do the dishes. She writes research papers and does class prep, I take the business booth to conventions. I am so happy and so fortunate and so glad I can now tell people honestly in terms I can explain who and what we are and that it's normal and good, and in fact a really happily ever after that gets better by the year. So just as soon as it's both legal to get married and she won't be fired from her job for marrying me, . . . Huge Ace wedding. We're thinking a LoTR theme. Lots of Aces in Tolkien. XD

Thank you so much for posting this! This gives me hope  . 

[Manga_wolf]

Edit: lol he left me

 

So I made one post here a while back, about a guy I liked, and asked for advice. People really were supportive and helpful to me and I'm so grateful that people told me I need to trust my partner when he tells me he loves me the way I am and actually listen in the relationship, not just assume things and beat myself up and tell myself things will fail.

I'm so grateful because... he is now my fiancé!  💕😍 I love him so much and can't wait to spend my life with him. I broke up with him twice early in the relationship because I was afraid and didn't want to lead him on and disappoint him, but he took me back both times and we've been together ever since.

I know things won't always be easy. We have a lot of figuring things out to do and learning how to compromise, but we were truly made for each other. I have never met someone so patient, so understanding, so willing to listen and learn.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who is kind and supportive of others on this site, this site has made me feel not so alone and broken and encouraged me to pursue what I want and not just sit back and say "poor me, being ace sux".

Edited July 28, 2019 by Manga_wolf

[marsavoalt]

I have lived alone for nearly 10 years. Even though I am in a relationship. I'd rather a long distance relationship. I don't want others full of all my life. Friends said I am kind of odd. Maybe. But my man gets clingy. I was laughing that we transfered gender each other. Yes, I feel he like a woman sometimes. Rushing call whole day if late response for message. Kind of crazy. I can't expect how long our relationship last. 

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

My last relationship was a short marriage 29 years ago. Since then I've been busy looking after family so time really flew by. 

I never felt the need to look for another after my mother died and my daughter became an independent lady.

Friends, solitude, interests are what drive me now.

[AkemiM]

On 3/14/2014 at 10:28 AM, eable2 said:

As my good ace friend advised me, there is a BIG difference between discomfort and dislike.

OMG Thank you for mentioning this cuz I was trying to word this the other day XP 

[anxious_mix]

When I was first questioning my sexual orientation, I talked a lot about it to my best friend. She told me she was questioning her romantic orientation. We both sorted through it together and after learning what a qpr is we mentioned a couple times that we should be in one and even talked about living together one day and/or marrying. I thought she was always joking, but two months ago she asked me to be in a qpr with her. We are long distance, but we plan on living together when I'm done with grad school and maybe marrying! 

I've also found, as I've come out and talked to more people about aroace stuff, that quite a few of my friends are also actually aroace. I don't know if its coincidence or if we just unknowingly clustered because of our mutual disinterest in sex and/or romance. Some of your friends might also be aroace! You never know until you talk to them about it. 

[Kitty_Mow]

I feel like I should def share my story because I came to this site for hope and encouragement and I love seeing all of the community, asexual and sexual, helping each other out! All of you are truly amazing. 💕

I am a 25 year old female, and i BELIEVE that I am Demi-sexual...but sometimes I’m not sure...

Anyway, I was with a guy for eight years, and we got married but he was mentally abusive and cheated on me constantly (even tried to get with my sisters to which they obviously told me.) I had built a life with him so I just...stayed. I was never psychically attracted to him, but when pressured to have sex I just did it. Well one day he left, telling me he didn’t love me and he wasn’t ready (should have told me that before he proposed to me and went through the marriage.) I was obviously devastated, but I picked myself up and moved on. 

I met my now fiancé a couple months later. He had also just been broken up with by his gf of 10 years, but had worked out most of the issues he had about that. When we met it was instant attraction and love. Like a “oh, there you are!” Kinda thing. We were hot and heavy at first, and he seemed to enjoy the sex. We got serious pretty quickly. We moved in together, adopted each other’s pets and lifestyles, and spent tons of time together. 

After moving in it took about two weeks until the sex totally stopped.

it took me off guard, and I must admit my self confidence took a huge hit. I thought it was me. So it got to the point where we both sat down and he finally told me “I dont know what’s wrong with me, but I don’t feel the urge to have sex and I have no idea why people enjoy it so much and “need” it for relationships.” 

That also shocked me. He told me that all of his ex’s basically shamed him for this thought, and got upset and cried when he never approached them for sex. He wanted to love them by going out to dinner, or adventures, or cuddling, etc. sweet, innocent things. They took that as he wasn’t attracted to them or that they were ugly. Obviously none of his relationships survived this. 

My own libido has also been somewhat low, and I don’t walk down the street and think “oh my god that person is so hot I gotta bang them.” I can appreciate beauty but I don’t get horny. I only get aroused with my partner when I’m in love with them and comfortable, so I could kind of relate, but I still had questions.

I did research and I stumbled across this site. Everything on here was almost a perfect when it came to what my fiancé has already told me. No desire for sex, finding people physically beautiful but never wanting to have sex, loving to cuddle and do romantic things, being shamed by past lovers but not knowing “what’s wrong” with him. Not understanding why people couldn’t love him for the way he was. 

So after I found this site I was so happy. I went to him with this info and asked him to read and do some research. He came back with “oh my god this describes me so well!” None of his other partners had ever tried to understand him, they just became mad and frustrated with the situation. I was released when I found out that there are people like him out there because he felt so alone and different. After this, he didn’t want to accept the label of asexual, but he’s slowly telling people that he is. I told him that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him. He’s an amazing man, treats me with the utmost love and respect, and helps people out whenever he can. I always reassure him that sex isn’t a huge deal to me. Currently, we have sex about once a month, and yes, it’s because I request it. He does take pills to help him...you know...which I don’t mind at all. He’s very giving and makes sure I get what I need sexually, even if he only enjoys watching me enjoy it. He’s assured me that I’m not forcing him to do something he doesn’t want to do, because if that was the case I would stop asking because I would never want to make him feel upset or Uncomfortable. he loves me and chooses to help me with my needs when I ask. It’s weird asking him for sex, but he’s always so positive and happy about doing it that I’m not shy about asking anymore. He never shuts me down. We have a great relationship/friendship. We game together, watch movies, go out to eat, hang with friends, pick eachother up when we’re down, and just love each other for everything we are. There’s absolutely nothing I would change about him. After my failed marriage where the guy slept around on me all the time and pressured me to have sex, this relationship is amazing. I wouldn’t mind never having sex, but I think it feels good and I like the physical closeness. He doesn’t mind having sex with me and actually loves that I enjoy it. He also wants to have kids with me one day, so I’m very happy.   

We are currently engaged, and I only ever want to spend my life with him. Our relationship is so much more than just sex, it’s deeper and has way more meaning. Also, he assured me that he will never cheat on me because again, he can appreciate physical beauty but doesn’t want to have sex with the people he sees. I know exactly how that is because I’m the exact same way, which is why I think I’m Demi sexual and not just a regular sexual. 

For those couples who are sexual/asexual, you absolutely CAN have a loving relationship with eachother. Both of you can sit down and compromise, even if it’s uncomforable at first. As long as you both ask questions and pay close attention to your partners needs the relationship will flourish.  

Good luck to everyone! 

[Koriander]

Going to share mine as someone who is Ignotaromantic(frayromantic)  and will never be in a relationship with romantic attraction that doesn't just fade away like nothing.

I've had 4 short relationships and they all failed, not because of my attraction in particular but the fact I lost attraction to most of them or felt I wasn't attracted anymore stood for me~ looking back.

 

Now however i embrace who i am and my "fake" romantic attraction that only exists for a week or less or a bit more and yeah.. i'm just going to stay single as an aro person who doesn't want a relationship bc it isn't for me, I can't be hurting people by loving them for a short while then losing that. XD 

I'M A GOOD IGNOTAROMANTIC GIRL

 

 

i'm still kinda jealous of everyone here who can get into a relationship, QPR or not knowing i never will-

Edited January 29, 2019 by Viotora

[AvatarRand]

On 11/9/2014 at 12:24 AM, Pyropotter said:

I fell in love with my best friend when I was about 14. Together we made stories, characters, worlds and eventually a small business, but never really thought of sex. Over 20 years later we are still together.

I was so tired of trying to explain that we're not lesbians, and also no I don't want to be with anyone but her, and that I want to be with her forever. Learning about Asexuality was a comforting revelation. I had an asexual success story all this time, not a confusing mess or an overlong phase or any of the things other people thought they saw. I am the luckiest ace in the universe, probably. I accidentally fell in love with someone who was my other half and as Ace as I was before we ever knew what that was. I missed out on all the confused fumbling about my sexuality, because all I could think of on all my awkward early failed dates with boys was how I wanted to go tell my best friend about a plot idea I'd just had.And how annoying it was that they wanted to hold hands.

Some day my best friend and I would like to get married. We pretty much already are, honestly. We've shared a house and a bed for more than 15 years, and have adopted a daughter/little sister together. She does the taxes, I do the dishes. She writes research papers and does class prep, I take the business booth to conventions. I am so happy and so fortunate and so glad I can now tell people honestly in terms I can explain who and what we are and that it's normal and good, and in fact a really happily ever after that gets better by the year. So just as soon as it's both legal to get married and she won't be fired from her job for marrying me, . . . Huge Ace wedding. We're thinking a LoTR theme. Lots of Aces in Tolkien. XD

This is amazing! You are one of the luckiest ever. Best of luck to both of you.

[Gok]

.

[Xstatic]

I've only been openly honest about my relationship with my s/o on AVEN until tonight.  Tonight I actually told my best friend about him being ace/aro and how much I fucking love him.  It was nice to tell someone who actually knows the both of us.  

[Xstatic]

Holy shit, tonight was a big night.  Not only did I open up above my current relationship with my friend, I also came out to my dad about MY orientation (bisexual) SO LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!

 

Edit: My dad responded in the best god damn way possible.  I KNEW he would be ok I with it. I came out to my mom several years ago and she told me not to come out to my dad because it would bother him.  That never sat well with me.  Honestly, I think my mom is just a terrible person.

 

 

Edited February 3, 2019 by xstatic

[Etsaana]

I find the idea of me being ace very strange but it's falling into place (I think). It feels strange because most of my life I have been seen as very sexy by others. I had many lovers and a series of partners ... but ... while I am sexual it doesn't connect to another person, it's just me on my own. This was always uncomfortable deep down. Even when I was adored and admired if I was really honest deep down, it wasn't real.

After two partnerships of four years, I finally fell deeply in love at 40. He was a fascinating and powerful person, and  incredibly considerate sexually. Gentle, and willing to act in my service, which obviously worked very well indeed for him. But when there were periods without sex it was surprisingly nice and peaceful. I even read about ace but I thought as I was sexually active quite a lot, and I provoke passion even now as an old lady, so ace couldn't be me.

Now he can't do it any more, which bothers him a bit but not me. So very late in life I am now just as I want to be, peacefully virginal. That's what it means, not being invaded, violated. I thought I felt like that because of this sick society that treats females as inferior things to poke. But I think really even if that wasn't so I'd rather not do bodily sex.

So here we are peacefully in twilight years with books and cats and joyful talk and cuddles.

 

[pandabutt]

My first boyfriend broke up with me because he couldn't handle the fact that I don't want sex in a relationship. For a year, I struggled with loneliness, heartbreak, and depression. I thought I would never be able to find a partner who could accept my asexuality. Then I met this guy through my friend's friend's friend (lmao). There was instant attraction between us and we became friends. We were crushing hard on each other, but neither of us knew that we both liked each other. We hung out one-on-one at Starbucks and then we went back to his house and started making out. I liked it, but I panicked because I didn't want him to get the wrong impression that I wanted to have sex or something. I told him right away that I'm asexual, and he laughed and immediately accepted me. He said how sex doesn't matter that much to him in a relationship and that he would only want to do it with someone he deeply cares about and loves (which I can say for myself too). Many months later and we're still happily dating and we both love each other deeply ! 

[Just a Mo]

I never thought I would find a partner who would be okay with me being asexual. I always thought that the only kind of partner who wouldn't mind would be another asexual. But as it turns out, I was wrong. Last October, my best friend upgraded to partner. And even though I've realised now that I am more neutral towards sex than I originally thought, he entered into a relationship with me when we both still thought I was sex-repulsed and he didn't even think twice about it. 

He is so communicative and understanding of everything. And he always makes me feel like I am more than enough, even though he's allosexual and I'm not. 

Sometimes I think he's more proud of my identity than I am. I forgot my own out anniversary was coming up in a few weeks until he reminded me. 

So to all the single romantic aces out there who think they can't ever find someone who can love them without sex being an obligation, don't worry. There are people out there for us. It's possible to find love on your own terms, whatever those may be!

[wirewalker]

Once upon a time, I met a really cool person. We had tons in common and quickly became very good friends. One night we were hanging out and he, pretty much out of the blue, said something along the lines of "I don't want sex or relationshippy stuff with you. Or anyone. Just to be clear." I said that I felt pretty much the same way, and I think we both breathed a sigh of relief that our friendship wasn't going to be misinterpreted. We also, being very detail-oriented people, said that we'd tell each other if something changed.

 

Well, a little while later something changed and I decided that it seemed pretty romantic attraction-y to me, so I told him. He was on the same page, and that's the story of how I, an asexual person who wasn't sure I'd ever want a romantic relationship with someone, ended up in a relationship with my lovely partner, another asexual person who didn't think he'd ever want a romantic relationship with someone. We still have immense amounts in common, we balance each other, we communicate well, and it's generally really wonderful. This is my success story.

 

(And let me recommend the idea of communicating with your partner about anything you might need to. I've found that it makes things much easier in the long run.)

[Guest]

I met my partner, an avenite, at a meet about 6 months fore I joined this forum. We really hit it off, which was great because we're both asexual and I thought I would never find anyone I was compatible with. Anyway, we saw each other every week until I stayed at his for a few days over new year. He put up some amazing decorations and it was like a fairytale wonderland. I fell in love with him over that weekend. Next milestone, he proposed at the top of a mountain in Spain as the sun was hitting the horizon. I said yes! 

 

A year later and we're getting ready for our wedding on August 31st. I'm proud to be marrying the most wonderful, compassionate man I've met in my life.

 

 

[QuietLife]

I met my first and current girlfriend at college a bit over 2 years ago. After some awkward flirting here and there, we became official on Valentine's Day. Since I am also her first boyfriend, she asked be to be patient with her as she has no idea how any of this should go. She's struggled a lot with depression, anxiety, and self harm, so initially thought me asking her out was a joke, so I kinda knew what I was signing myself up for. Not too long after, she firmly established that there wouldn't be any sex until at least marriage and physicality and affection in general makes her uncomfortable, but she still wanted me to push the boundaries from time to time. I patiently listened and told her that I understood, and she was free to tell me if I was ever too much, since I can get pretty clingy. 

 

Some months later, she figured out she was asexual thanks to a friend of her's, and currently feels she is sex-repulsed, so she wanted to ask me again in a text if I was fine potentially never having sex, to which I gave a quick reply saying I'm fine with just dating and not having sex. However, I had to sit myself down and really think about how much sex meant to me in a relationship, as I am allosexual and have a healthy libido. In the past, I have been incredibly desperate to enter a relationship, and this desperation caused the destruction of many of my friendships, so I swore to myself to never let it get that bad again. So after the soul-searching, I studied up on asexuality so I can be sure to meet and understand all of her needs. Some days later, I sat down with her in person to re-affirm some things, such as while I am completely fine with not having sex while we are dating, if marriage is ever a serious discussion, we will need to talk and see if sex is something we can do while still having her be comfortable. Because in the end, my body does have a desire for sex, and these kinds of desires shouldn't be denied in a consensual relationship.  She agreed, and we both mutually decided to put off serious conversations about sex until we get engaged.

 

Since then, she has gotten more used to some physicality: she initiated hand holding while walking (you may laugh, but this was a big step for her), she initiated kissing, and now we pretty consistently kiss and hug goodbye. Her job requires that she travel out-of-state pretty frequently, so her being a big introvert she is totally fine with, but with me being a extroverted-introvert (or selectively social), I can't help but feel super sad whenever she's away. Currently she's on a year long contract in a neighboring state, and it's only been a month and ughhhhhhhhh it's the worst for me. But we both made sure to have weekly talks, and eventually we'll make plans to see each other in-person over the course of the year. She's living by herself, which is what she has wanted to do for a while now, but at some point she would want for us to live together, and then if that goes well, I'll propose to her (if she doesn't surprise me by proposing first!).

 

So all in all, it feels great to have someone who completely accepts me and loves me for who I am, just as I completely accept and lover her for who she is! We're both still awkward dorks, but we're making it work. I'll echo what most others have said: open communication is super important to a successful relationship!

 

TLDR: I met a girl, we had a romantic connection so we started dating. She came out as asexual, so she was worried since I was allosexual. After some research and soul-searching, I decided I loved her more than I do sex, so we both agreed not to worry about sex until marriage talks. After two years, thanks to open communication, we are still going strong and very much in love! I wish all aces, greys, and allies all the luck, because it can be possible!

[Chomper93]

My husband and I got married last year, we started dating when we were 16. In university I realized I was demi (both sexually and romantically) through reading forums on AVEN. He is a sexual person, and though we had a lot to discuss, we always try to keep open communication and set boundaries in our relationship to keep what really matters in perspective.

 

He is my best friend, and I am grateful every day to have found a partner who I have grown with for the past 10 years. People assume that because we started dating young, things are just easier than if we had met later in life - but it comes with it's own challenges and we had to weather a lot of changes in our lives. 

 

Our sexualities are just one part of our relationship and just like our cultural and personal differences we have committed to work through them together. I have found a lot of comfort in this website, it is a great reminder that I am not alone in being demi or "broken", and that healthy relationships between people with different sexual orientations are difficult, but possible. ❤ 

[JadeBat]

So I met my boyfriend on OkCupid. I had tried asexual dating apps i.e. ACEapp but there were only 6 matches within the max distance I was willing to date. Though I did chat with quite a few people it never ended up in a meeting and most conversations fizzled out. With OkCupid I had a bit more luck, as I had some really good conversations and went on a few dates with sexual guys. But, again didn't really go anywhere.

However, after being on the app for about a year my now boyfriend messaged me and we hit it off. Early on he asked about my asexuality and admitted that he felt that he also feel he might be on the spectrum (which was a surprise as he didn't put it on his profile) as he never looked forward to the 'bedroom' part of the relationship and only really did it for his partner's happiness and didn't really get any gratification himself. Therefore, he is totally happy to never have sex again (which is good as it would never be an option with me). 

After talking for a few months and going on several dates we become a couple. We have been dating for about 3 months now, so it's early days still but we are really happy.

I never thought I would find someone who would accept me, let alone another asexual! We both think the world of each other and see good things in our future together 😁💗

[Roberts]

I was invited to spend the night with two friends, one of whom I have had feelings (idk about romantic but generally sensual) for for a little while.

They were playing video games and I occasionally joined in but couldn't understand the controls, all the usual stuff.

It got slightly late and I managed to sneak onto the bed next to The Person™, bring up their previous threats to hug me, and long story short I now know what it's like to cuddle with someone and chat until 6:00 a.m. at which point they fall asleep and you're now stuck in their arms.

I admitted that I had feelings for them and after excited responses on both parts they said word-for-word,

"I HAD NO IDEA COMPATIBILITY WITH YOU WAS SOMETHING I WOULD EVER CONSIDER BUT IM STARTING TO LIKE IT"

So now we're at the very least cuddle buddies and I never thought I'd get to even that stage. Yayy!!

[frodobelle]

On 11/8/2014 at 10:24 AM, Pyropotter said:

I fell in love with my best friend when I was about 14. Together we made stories, characters, worlds and eventually a small business, but never really thought of sex. Over 20 years later we are still together.

I was so tired of trying to explain that we're not lesbians, and also no I don't want to be with anyone but her, and that I want to be with her forever. Learning about Asexuality was a comforting revelation. I had an asexual success story all this time, not a confusing mess or an overlong phase or any of the things other people thought they saw. I am the luckiest ace in the universe, probably. I accidentally fell in love with someone who was my other half and as Ace as I was before we ever knew what that was. I missed out on all the confused fumbling about my sexuality, because all I could think of on all my awkward early failed dates with boys was how I wanted to go tell my best friend about a plot idea I'd just had.And how annoying it was that they wanted to hold hands.

Some day my best friend and I would like to get married. We pretty much already are, honestly. We've shared a house and a bed for more than 15 years, and have adopted a daughter/little sister together. She does the taxes, I do the dishes. She writes research papers and does class prep, I take the business booth to conventions. I am so happy and so fortunate and so glad I can now tell people honestly in terms I can explain who and what we are and that it's normal and good, and in fact a really happily ever after that gets better by the year. So just as soon as it's both legal to get married and she won't be fired from her job for marrying me, . . . Huge Ace wedding. We're thinking a LoTR theme. Lots of Aces in Tolkien. XD

Do it!!! My wedding/handfasting with my partner (who is sexual, and finding out I'm heteroromantic ace now two years and odd after said wedding has already improved our relationship so much) was LOTR themed and it was beautiful

 

here, have some pics

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=1nWsKoryI464raglN_fTWCxOZXfslvWI4

Edited July 28, 2019 by frodobelle

[frodobelle]

Oh, also, for our success story (thus far), see here ...

 

 

tl;dr -- hetero-romantic ace, her sexual partner, and their cat are new but less hurt and confused than we were and this is exciting.

 

Also, strawberry shortcake is best cake, please do share your thoughts about Picard and Data's beautiful dynamic, and also, ALSO, the new StarTrek show starring Picard. And cats, obviously. Soubhi is slightly confused about my complete inability to find cats on this forum.

[Flying Cat]

I'm in relationship for 4 years. It was developing slow, like reaaally slow (for a couple of months my partner didn't realise we were dating, while I thought we were already some kind of couple). But I don't regret it, it was fun, it is still fun actually.

 

None of us was enforcing sexual or romantic behaviors, so for a long time I didn't have to say anything like "stop, stop, don't go so far with being sexual". Everything was developing in time, naturally. There was a point when I said the words "I'm asexual", but it didn't change much, actually it made things a bit better (it turned out that he's really sex indifferent so I should not worry about doing or not doing things).

 

It's very funny when someone says "ohhh you're so cute, you do amazing things together, I would love to have relationship like yours" and that person is definitely not ace. 

[DarkStormyKnight]

Aww this is such a cute thread, I really needed to see these ❤️

[Anonymously asexual]

On 8/2/2019 at 5:17 AM, DarkStormyKnight said:

Aww this is such a cute thread, I really needed to see these ❤️

Me too.  I've been gone and missed some friends.

[JMR]

I love this! I discovered I was asexual when I was around 22 or 23. I had never dated and was very confused about understanding my romantic feelings with an absence of any sexual ones. I was so happy once I learned about asexuality and the difference between romantic and sexual attraction and how I can experience one and not the other!

 

There was a guy I had been friends with since 2009 and after graduating he went out of state for college and would travel back down for summers. We worked together a lot and began dating in the summer of 2014. I told him from the beginning that I was ace and I was very uncomfortable with any type of physical intimacy. He said that he was fine with all of that and really thought we would work. 

 

He was pretty amazing at adapting to my comfort levels and never pushing me. He would even ask if he wanted to hold my hand because I wasn’t sure about it and never made me feel bad or frustrating on the days I said no. Very slowly I became much more comfortable being intimate and he was great at allowing me to explore barriers without expecting anything or pushing. We got married in 2017 and we are still happily together! I have turned into a cuddle monster now and love getting to kiss him! I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else and he reminds me everyday how lucky he feels to have someone as amazing as me! I was very lucky to find a guy like him my first time dating and I’m so thankful for him!

[frecklesandstars]

I have a successful story! About a year ago my (allo) partner of 3 years (and now 4 and counting) not only helped me realise I'm asexual, but also stayed with me all the way making all they could to understand and get to know me better. About a month ago we both started dating a friend of us (also allo), and he is making the very same efforts to get to know me and making sure I feel comfortable. We've kinda talked about my asexuality, and we definitely we have so much more to talk about! All three of us have been friends for years, so we have a lot in common and at the same time we're still trying to figure out how we get along as partners, but it's going really great so far!