How Important is Aesthetic Attraction to You, as an ace?

[littleheartsofjoy]

I don't know why this is not popping up for me, but I'm bumping my own thread.

[MadRat]

Not very important.

[jardin]

I'm kind of floating around in a nebulous void of aromantic/romantic -ness. I definitely like it when I see aesthetically pleasing people. Although, for the first time in my life I had an amazing conversation with someone at a party (of all places) about math, time, space, economics, advancing the species, logic, philosophy, sharing all of our ideas on all of their cutting edge theories and was blown away. I'm starting to wonder if I'm a sapio-asexual? I don't know. I don't find this person aesthetically or romantically attractive but I do seek out conversation with him every chance I get at the lab (hacker/maker space), especially because he's not egotistical or nerd-mean-holier-than-thou about it. He's just cool. I also wonder if it's an ardent temporary state, given that before these two conversations, I never thought of discussing my ideas with anyone, and was content with talking about them in my mind ^_^

[Naamat]

I'm not "aestheticallyattracted-romantic", by that I mean I don't developp romantic attraction only on the subgroup of people I'm aesthetically attracted to. (My attractions aren't a ladder-thing where aesthetic attraction is step 1, romantic step 2, sensual step 3... it's not connected like that.)

I wouldn't say aesthetic attraction is not important, but it's not important romantically or even for developping friendship.

And if there's a connection, it goes in the opposite direction. With time I tend to find my friends more attractive, if I hadn't already had that opinion when I first met them.

[KasuIsBiscuits]

Somewhat. I do feel aesthetic attraction to certain guys. That's only after becoming at least somewhat familiar with them though. I usually fall for the mind first... consideration... kindness... the usual sensitive guy thing. Ha. Still I'm, a bit more on the aro-side, have never felt the need to form anything special with them.

[swim2thesun]

I'm not particularly a romantic person, as to say I don't often experience romantic attraction, but in terms of romance the aesthetic appearance of someone is the least of my interests. I think that if i was (romantically) attracted to someone who wasn't necessarily attractive then overtime I'd become more aesthetically attracted to them because of that other initial attraction. Which I believe has happened to me before. Usually when I find people aesthetically attractive I don't actually want anything to do with them. Just looking at them is fine lol.

[sound_the_bugle]

I really don't value appearance at all - my own or others'. I know that I pretty much have the best figure of anyone I know, and I figure that's enough, right?

But as for others... it's just not relevant. I'm aware of what makes people attractive so I can label strangers as attractive/handsome/pretty etc. But I'm almost never actually aesthetically attracted to anyone, at least not until I'm intensely romantically attracted to them. At that point their physical appearance becomes something to which I'm attracted and I want to look at them and study them, regardless of if they're actually attractive.

Despite that, I'm basically never going to actually call someone beautiful or attractive, because I find such compliments to be actually insulting, since I just don't value appearance and I think that if appearance is all that one can compliment about a person, you don't know them well enough to be complimenting them. Appearance is superficial. What's actually compliment-able is deeper.

[belovedless]

Someone can be nice-looking, but those who I perceive as the real beautiful people are the ones I have built a deep emotional connection with. For me, true aesthetic attraction comes after the relationship.

[Beorcen]

I do get tend to feel aesthetic attraction fairly strongly, but it only rarely correlates with romantic attraction. The majority of people I have had relationships with, I did not find particularly visually attractive, which used to worry me until I learnt more about the different types of attraction. It also meant I was very confused about my sexual/romantic orientation for some time, and I'm still kind of figuring it out.

I will sometimes be completely struck by someone's beauty, but I don't feel any particular urge to be with them, it's more similar to how someone would appreciate art. While I have had crushes on multiple people, they tend not to be on people that I find immediately attractive, and only ever develop after I have known them for a while. They may, or may not, become more aesthetically attractive to me as time goes on.

I chose "somewhat important" because while it isn't important to me when in a relationship, it is important to me in general. Not that I choose my friends according to how attractive they are, but just because it's something that I notice on a regular basis.

[Quintus Crinis]

Aesthetic attraction can certainly have an effect on my romantic attraction to people - however I tend to find personality is much more important and generally over-rules or changes my concept of what is aesthetically attractive once I get to know a person. :)

[BookwormKaoru]

Aesthetic attraction isn't important at all to me. One of the reasons I found out I was asexual was because I realized I had no idea what exactly people meant by "cute" "pretty" or even "breathtaking". Everyone looks pretty much the exact same to me.

[MoraDollie]

I find the human body beautiful, period. So in this sense, it's beautiful to me. I'm an artist at heart <3

[Robert75]

I only have a problem if they are dirty or vulgar.

[Lies_As_Lau]

For the most part, I see each and every new person as being neutral, I recognize that there is a certain air of attractiveness in them, or a lack thereof, but it sparks absolutely no interest in me whatsoever, romantic or otherwise. When I get to know someone however, and I've bonded with them at a certain scale (unless we're talking about celebrities of course,I just have to do a little bit of obsessive research to "get to know them"), their beauty is increased in my eyes and that's when I begin to appreciate their aesthetics even if they typically aren't considered attractive among others.

[Hedgie]

I don't pick my friends based on looks, but I consider myself an aesthetic asexual because I admire beauty in both men and women from afar.

[Annapox]

I don't know why this is, but I tend not to note how I feel about guys' appearances at first. I know I find all of my female friends beautiful, but I just don't like to think about whether I think a guy is attractive (except for my boyfriend, to whom I became aesthetically attractive about the same time we started dating). That just feels too... complicated. So, it's not that aesthetic attraction is important or unimportant. It's just kinda irrelevant.

[poindexter]

Not very important. I mean, I don't care what my friends look like, whether they're attractive or not it doesn't matter. I like to look at attractive people on Tumblr and things, but it has no bearing on my day-to-day life, or the relationships I choose.

[ThaHoward]

Important in the start. But the more I like the personality, the less important outward appereance is. The innerbbeauty will reflect, and that is in thevend what make them beautiful. But I do have some standards. Most likely because of dna compability, which is ironically because of maring :p

[marmalade-cats]

I'm going to say somewhat important. It's not at the very top of my list of things I look for in a relationship, but I have to think you're at least somewhat attractive to date you. I don't think I'm all that bad looking, and I'd like to be with a similarly not too bad looking individual! I figure if I'm going to be spending much time with you I had better like what I'm looking at at least.

[Sherlockhan]

For me, a person has to be aesthetically pleasing for me to feel anything... however, if I feel anything, they're automatically attractive. I see them as this wonderous work of art to admire. The most important thing for me is that they're different. I'm a bit of a xeno, in that I LOVE people and things that are different. A great personality is a huge plus, and being a prize in some other way helps, too. And smart. It's also great to just be friends with awesome different people.

[Exosk]

For all the talk I do of aesthetics, it is just talk. It factors into my home and what I surround myself with. It factors into how I can be comfortable in foreign places. But actions that matter, that effect others to a significant degree, cannot depend on aesthetics solely. I know that.

[marki]

Well I never have found someone who lives up to my standards....but I am the most picky person in the world.I want a cute girl with dark hair and brownish skin. Impossible to find on this planet!

[Kavan Leif]

It's somewhat important(?). It's what draws my attention but it's the way someone expresses, what makes me pay attention.

I mean I like cute guys but I'll look 5 minutes to their faces and then poof! All my interest goes into their personalities.

[Diceman]

In a relationship it's extremely important. I can't feel anything towards a girl who I don't find wicked cute. Now everyone's idea of "attractive" is different, but I personally need to be attracted to the person when in a relationship. If I meet someone I'm not aesthetically attracted towards I have no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with them. I'm after a long term relationship, so I'm looking for someone I'll be happy looking at every single day! Looks don't matter if it's just friendship though. Aesthetic attraction is only the first step though. Once I start to get to know the cute girl, if she's a bitch I'm done with her =P We need to click emotionally as well.

[HedonicAmbassador]

Definitely somewhat important, but at the end of the day good looks alone can never substitute for intelligence and a sense of humour. The latter two traits always take precedence for me.

However, I do admit to being turned off of people whose lack of widespread aesthetic appeal is somewhat their own doing. For example, someone who doesn't respect their body and abuses it through a poor diet, drugs, alcohol, smoking, lack of exercise, etc.

[Synchrèse]

I've been thinking about this question for last two days... I very rarely experience aesthetic attraction and when I do, it actually doesn't change anything. So..it doesn't really matter.

[elleba_wolf]

for me, aesthetic attracton only matters in the short run

[MC Dusters]

Emotional bond over all. So it doesn't matter at all.

[TheBioNerd]

I had to pick "other". If I notice how attractive someone is or how nice they smell or how hygienic they are, I don't feel any sort of romantic spark with them just because of that. If I notice how nice they are or how hard they work or how intelligent they come off as being, I could generate some romantic feelings. The thing is, if I'm having romantic feelings, the person also has to be aesthetically attractive to me. If I think they're not good-looking or if I don't like their scent, I'm not going to have those romantic feelings in the first place. They just won't be able to form if I don't find the person aesthetically pleasing in some way. In that sense, I suppose I find aesthetic attraction "very important". I just couldn't bring myself to put that because it's not a conscious choice, so it's not actually important to me at all. It just is to my heart :(. I feel badly about it because it makes me feel shallow, but I can't help not having romantic feelings for people I'm not aesthetically attracted to. It just makes finding someone compatible that much more difficult *over-dramatic sigh*.

[AceTiff12]

I put not very important because I think I rarely experience aesthetic attraction anyway. The people I see usually fall somewhere on a spectrum ranging from "Eye Candy" to "Eyesore." Most strangers will fall in the middle "Neutral" zone. When it comes to romance, the person I'm interested in just has to not be an "eyesore." I also notice that sometimes people will become easier on my eyes the more I look at or get to know them.