How Important is Aesthetic Attraction to You, as an ace?

[littleheartsofjoy]

I figured that for a lot of sexuals, aesthetic attraction is one of various things that are important when there's romantic interest. For aces (asexuals), I'm curious to have a general idea for how important this is to you, if you are interested in someone else romantically.

Before people say that personality and compatibility/chemistry are the most important, I am asking if aesthetic attraction is also on the same level of importance for you as it is for other important qualities you might seek. Is it at the same level, below, or doesn't even matter at all for you?

If you choose other, I would love for you to share why you chose that.

[Zerο]

Very. I like cute animals and cute girls. For different reasons of course.

[JAKQ7111]

Aesthetic attraction is somewhat important to me, largely because many of the aesthetic things I am attracted to are reflective of one's personality and character.

[5_♦♣]

Not very. Often times the heart doesn't care what the eyes find appealing.

[Notte stellata]

Not important at all. My aesthetic attraction is pretty weak anyway. Seeing someone good-looking doesn't make me want to do anything with them. My romantic attraction can only develop from close friendship, which is based on intellectual and emotional connection. Looks are pretty much irrelevant. The vast majority of people are sufficiently good-looking for me to be potentially attracted to them, if we click well enough mentally.

I used to think I had a lower threshold that excluded maybe 5% of the people, but now I'm not even sure about that. I can form an emotional attachment to someone even without seeing their face, so even if they turned out below my threshold, would my emotional attachment suddenly disappear? I'd like to think I'd still be happy to have some kind of significant relationship with them, whether it's "romantic" or not. But this certainly has to do with my relationship anarchist views. :D

[Arctangent]

For me, the most important aspect of any significant relationship is emotional and intellectual connection. It's possible for me to have a relationship that functions almost entirely on an abstract conversational level, with the person's appearance being of little to no importance. If the relationship involves physical contact, I do like for the person to be at least "average" looking (which for me includes the vast majority of people) and to have good hygiene, but that's all. So aesthetic attraction is not very important at all to me.

I find first impressions of aesthetic attraction to be kind of unreliable anyway because my perception of a person's looks is affected by my view of their personality. Oftentimes, if I'm attracted to a someone's personality and become close to them, I develop secondary aesthetic attraction for them. Conversely, if I find someone good-looking initially but later find out that they're a jerk, my aesthetic attraction will fade away.

[iamphoenixfire]

It isn't really important to me. I don't really notice it all that often. To me, it's like everyone is, so I don't really think about it.

[Kikiki]

Any attraction I've had ever started with liking how the person looked and moved on to romantic attraction once I got to know them better. So it's pretty important. ._.

[Nanook]

Its not important to me. I don't tend to notice "good looking" people nor feel attracted to people based on appearance. In relationships, appearance ranks dead last.

[Mya]

I chose very important. I find beauty to be in the eye of the beholder though.. What I find attractive isn't anything you're going to find on newsstands.

A guy doesn't have to be underwear model sexy for me to find him attractive, but I have to find him attractive by whatever way my brain picks. Even though all I want to do is cuddle, I have to find him attractive to MY eyes.

[Guest]

im panromantic grey-sexual, and if i fancy someone i fancy them for their looks first, and then once i get to know them i work out if i actually want to be in a relationship with them

- and if i do... im in deep shit.

[peanut-butter-cloud]

I'm aro, so it doesn't matter romantically. It also doesn't really matter to me socially - it's not as if looking at someone who isn't aesthetically attractive to me will make my eyes hurt or something. :p

[Gizamaluke]

I'm quite artistic so I understand the concept of beauty in the traditional sense, but if ever there's a physical beauty I'm attracted to it's one with a flaw, not dramatic flaws but something that makes someone all the more interesting, even if it is from a painter's perspective.

A longer jaw than 'normal', a thinner, pointier nose, or even their general shape is much more interesting.

[Janus the Fox]

Aesthetics for me is not of huge importance, just a fleeting amusement for me and not connected to romance. ;)

[Grumpy Alien]

Other - not asexual

[Rising Sun]

It doesn't matter. I'm able to see who is good looking, and it doesn't go beyond "this person would be interesting to draw / paint". I'm able to see beauty because I assimilated norms, but absolutely no attraction is linked to it. It doesn't mean that there are no people who look repulsive to me (there are some, and some details I really dislike), but for me, esthetically, people are in 2 categories : "neutral" or "unattractive". The "attractive" category doesn't exist for me, except for people who already are romantically attractive, because it triggers aesthetic attraction with time (I'm attracted to their spirit, and it makes me slowly more and more attracted to their appearance too, with time). But I got really romantically attracted only twice in my life...

[Philip027]

I don't really experience it, ergo it isn't important. I mean, I can occasionally recognize general prettiness (even that's kind of rare) but it isn't exactly what I would call an attraction in any sense.

The "attractive" category doesn't exist for me, except for people who already are romantically attractive, because it triggers aesthetic attraction with time (I'm attracted to their spirit, and it makes me slowly more and more attracted to their appearance too, with time). But I got really romantically attracted only twice in my life...

This is me, pretty much. Even the last statement >_>

[skymessenger]

Even a cat lover can be freaked out by black cats or the hairless ones. It sort of works the same way with asexual attraction.

Looks aren't everything. But I think there's some preferences. You know, likes and dislikes.

["""]

...

[Kitty Spoon Train]

Aesthetics are mostly disconnected from actual attraction for me. Meaning that I can look at certain people and appreciate that they're good looking, but this doesn't really make me want to do anything with them, or form any particular form of relationship with them.

Some people do seem to have a certain "aura" about them which attracts me to them - not sexually but in a kind of pseudo-romantically-intrigued "cuddle attraction" way. They don't necessarily tend to be conventionally very good looking, they usually range between 4 and 7 or so in fact, on conventional hotness scales. Conventional good looks actually tend to be a bit overstandardised and a bit plain to me, so it's actually rarer for me to find someone intriguing that way if she's a conventional model looks number 10, they're often more of a unique looking girl next door type. And almost always a bit nerdy. :P

[R_1]

Romantically? The question does not apply as I can be seen as an aromanfic asexual. Aesthetic appeal is very important to me.

[WhenSummersGone]

For me very and I feel like I'm shallow, but even aesthetic attraction varies from person to person. I've had many crushes where I thought the guy was beautiful but for example a friend or my mom would find them not so good looking. I don't really have a type in terms of looks though. I can like thin body types or slender body types, blonde hair or brown hair, blue eyes or brown eyes, etc.

[Guest]

I voted "Not very important", but I was undecided between that one and "Not important at all". Unless I really don't like someone physically (and it takes a LOT for me to find someone not-good-looking), it's not a problem for me. My previous partner wasn't good looking to my eyes when we got together, and it wasn't a problem for me.

[Shealock]

I tend to find people more attractive the better I know them, so I put other?

[Nothings_Changed]

I had to choose other on this. I’ve actually having a hard time trying to word this.

I believe that the body is precious and special and beautiful. I don’t really adhere to when society would consider attractive, considering most of my “eye-candys” are masculine people with lots of tattoos, usually oddly styled and colored hair, piercings, and scars. But I feel that I have a base level that even my friends at to meet, and that it just caring for your body. Basic things such as : Brushing your teeth, cutting your nails, brushing your hair, wearing clean clothing, showering and other forms of bathing. I’m not a neat freak, but it just doesn’t look good if your hairs a mess, you’re missing teeth and your clothes are covered in food stains until you just got into the chef-on-chef fight (and won).

[rotanimonedaifg]

Somewhat important. I wouldn't rate physical beauty as nearly as important as attractive personality traits, nor would I date somebody purely on the basis of physical beauty. And I think I could form a loving relationship with a person that I don't find particularly good looking. At the same time I have strong aesthetic attractions, and I feel like it is really special to be able to feel simultaneous aesthetic and romantic attraction. I really do enjoy observing the beauty of people that I am emotionally attached to, so I feel in the middle on this one.

[DexM]

Not important at all.

It happens, although not that often. I spot an attractive someone. I glance and I move. Then I find the toilet/star bucks/food place/shop/bus stop.

And that's how important it is. I don't process it in much of a way, certainly nothing like "WOW! That person was stunning" and being unable to forget for a few minutes. If I was able to get to know them or was in their presence for a short time I would forget the aesthetic part and would concentrate o getting to know their personality. Personality goes a long way. Aesthetics is fleeting.

There are only two beautiful women in the world. And in their company I would be most bewitched.

[Prrple]

Somewhat important. I find that certain people just don't look "right" to me in a way and it's usually because of the expressions they make along with how their personality reflects on their appearance. (Too much makeup, a ridiculous beard, etc).

[Busrider]

I tend to find people more attractive the better I know them, so I put other?

I haven't thought that far. - But anyhow I voted "somewhat" - Since although I have no need to see a mainstream beauty as a potential partner I would certainly need a chance to consider her beautiful / interesting / pleasant in my own eyes instead of thinking "Why does(n't) she *insert variable about looks*"

[Guest]

Somewhere between somewhat important and not very important; ended up voting not very important. I have aesthetic likes and dislikes, but I'd rather give my time to someone who can hold my interest in conversation (big bonus points for those who are interested in my interests). I'll always lend an ear to anyone who approaches me in a social setting, too.