testosterone counteracts oxytocin (bonding hormone)?

[Orbit]

I was just surfing and came across a story on why men break up with women. And one of the reasons was that women move too fast in the relationship - and the explanation it gave was hormonal... the assumption in the article is that relationships will include sex... and the facts listed as to bonding feelings that sex causes in females and is nutralized in men brings up interesting questions for asexuals.

Bolding is mine - but I left the rest for context purposes.

5. You’re moving too fast

When fellas feel like the relationship has gone from zero to “let’s move in together” in three seconds, most guys slam on the brakes. “There is a biological reason why men and women move at different speeds in relationships,” says Dr. Love. “During sex, both men and women secrete a hormone called oxytocin, which intensifies feelings of love and the desire to nest. But in men, testosterone counteracts its effects. So afterwards, the woman is lying there feeling like they’ve bonded for life, while he’s wondering what’s on ESPN.” A woman may feel so connected as a relationship blossoms that she’s thinking long-term; the guy, however, may not feel as committed to a future together.

Tip: How best to handle this chemical imbalance? Lay off the Bride’s magazine subscription for a while and follow his lead. Let him refer to you as his girlfriend before you call him your boyfriend. Let him suggest your first weekend getaway. If you’re with the right guy, his heart will eventually catch up with his hormones.

I'm not quite sure the science behind it - and in my own relationship it doesn't seem to make sense. My husband views sex as emotionally bonding and I don't! :P

Id' love to hear from asexual men and women who have had sex and/or relationships without sex and what role they felt hormones played in the bonding process. If you haven't had sex and/or a relationship, of course you can respond too... I'm just curious for experiences.

PS - for the tip section, noted there is no suggestion to cut down or hold off on sex so you don't over inflate your own sense of bonding hormonally before the heart and relationship is really ready. :roll:

hawke

[kbrd143]

My only comment (at this point, anyway) is: I wonder where homosexual couples fit into this?

Suddenly, I am reminded of those old jokes:

What does a lesbian couple bring on a second date? A U-Haul.

What do gay guys bring on a second date? What second date?

[RekrabMot]

There have been two recent articles on this http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn7451 and http://www.newscientist.com/channel/being-.../mg18625022.800

You can buy oxytocin buy (you may need a perscription - but there are sellers offering it on the internet).

Therefore if you are missing the "Just feeling romantic and bonded after sex" feeling you can buy it by the bottle.

[slatterly]

There have been two recent articles on this http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn7451 and http://www.newscientist.com/channel/being-.../mg18625022.800

You can buy oxytocin buy (you may need a perscription - but there are sellers offering it on the internet).

Therefore if you are missing the "Just feeling romantic and bonded after sex" feeling you can buy it by the bottle.

Now THAT is scary. It's the modern love philter, only it would probably work.