Did your parents talk about sex?

[Philip027]

I got nothing. And even if my mom had tried, I doubt much of it would have gotten through, anyway.

[LilliaAce]

Sex and all subjects of the sort were considered "taboo" in my family. My father never talked about it. If the subject came up with my mom, she starting whispering (For hell's sake, she's a woman in her early 60s at this point). Literally, while I was on my way out the door to drive to college, my mom pulled me aside and said "I know I don't need to tell you about the birds and bees" to which I laughed, given the orientation I fall under (demi and all).

[Uranium]

Now that I think about it... I'm not even sure if I've ever had any sex ed at school. I sure don't remember anything, apart from a programme on puberty which was boring as hell. Maybe I just didn't care so I forgot.

[Mya]

(American here)

My sex talk; "That's how you get diseases." "Boys only care about sex, not about you as a person." "Here's a book about what sex is andwhy it's bad."

I couldn't talk to my mother about tings like this. Sex was rather taboo in my house. I used to accuse her of being Puritanical, but I don't think that her reasons are based in religion though she used to use religion as a reason. Talking to her as an adult and telling her that I'm asexual and what all that means, opened her up to new ideas. I think my mother is grey/demi and formed her own ideas around limited knowledge that made her feelings make sense. That's what people do.

My father was a whore. LOL I mean a super over sexed sexual.

[littleheartsofjoy]

Wow, this is an interesting poll and thread.

I don't really remember if my parents talked to me about sex. The only things that my mom has ever said is "Don't have sex in high school or else you'll be pregnant" and in college, "Let me know when you decide to start having sex". To me, neither of those statements really count as talking about sex. I didn't know anything about sex really aside from oh, you can get pregnant. The rest that I have picked up, I have learned from friends and the internet but more so the latter than the former.

I'm not sure what my parents are on that scale, to be honest. Both of my parents are Nigerian, and were born there, so I'm a 1st gen immigrant. I also echo on my parents being uptight and way traditional.

[Zash]

I'm Canadian. My Dad immigrated here from Africa when he was a child, and rice looks at my mother and goes, "Damn, you're white." So a bit of a mixed background.

And talking about sex... Yeah... My parents were the kind of parents that offered to leave for the weekend and take my little sister with them so I could have a guy/girl over without any interruptions. I think that more or less covers things.

[aljgpa]

My father (who's American) tried to talk to me about sex, but I wasn't interested. I guess that that was one of the first signs of my asexuality.

[anon_anonymous]

my dad would boast about his sex drive and huge penis and amazing love making ability and how he wanted to die "murdered by another woman's husband" whenever he was drunk and in company >_<

my mum bristled, again.

i don't see the former as that problematic, he was / is just a drunk.

[iamphoenixfire]

See, my parents talked about sex, but it was VERY filtered and not well-taught.... it was more like, "sex is this. don't have it until marriage. we're done." so they did, but it's like they didn't. My mother also once warned me when I was going to my friend's house (this friend happens to be male) that "all boys want sex and to be careful" but this kid knows I'm asexual, and I don't really act like a girl or a guy so I'm kind of a neutral point, which my friend has noticed. However, my mother is also demisexual (when i came out to her she told me the same was with her...), and I have wondered if my dad is asexual.

Edit: My dad is the child of an Argentine immigrant (who was the child of an argentine woman and an italian immigrant) and a german immigrant and my mom's family came over from Western Europe (if you say somewhere in western europe, chances are she has ancestors from there). my dad is also a sociopathic narcissist, though.

[DexM]

My folks never talked to me about sex. I think the first time I told my old man that I was asexual was the first time I had mentioned the word sex in front of him. Until the age of 32 I had never talked to my mum about sex and only occasionally mentioned the female of the species to her.

Although my brother and I had many Sunday nights spoiled by my drunken parents' "lounge sessions" I only ever saw them as a divorce waiting to happen. Sexual they both were, British too, but the level of contempt, toward one another was something to behold.

And it was before the age of 19 that I realised I was different. It really didn't come to effect my life, take hold in a big way, until I was in my late 20's.

[Guest]

My mom talked about sex with me since I can remember. I was allowed to watch adult movies (like Braveheart, Total Recall, etc) from the time I was 3-4, so sex scenes happened and she explained stuff. We also had pets and when I was around 5, my dog got pregnant from a stray that had gotten through our fencing to get her (good lesson, don't trust "I only have one dog and she's never around males as birth control). So, I actually helped her give birth, since my parents were at the store when she went into labor and the puppies got stuck. I knew how to do it because my dad used to help cows birth and he would take us with him if my mom wasn't home to watch us. I never had the whole "kids come from cabbage patches and the animals are just playing" lies that a lot of kids get. It made talking about things difficult with other kids though, since I couldn't say "my dog had puppies!" or talk about how I helped the puppies out and cleaned them off since the mom was too tired to do it, which was really exciting to me as a five year old, I helped saved puppies! Instead I had to go "My dog h.... uh, I have new puppies. She ga.... uh, they came last night!" always catching myself since the other kids I knew didn't know about birth or sex. :lol: I also had to keep mentally kicking myself when another kid would ask what two animals were doing when we drove past and they were mating, since I kept WANTING to say "Why are you lying? They aren't playing, just tell them the truth."

At nine I got the whole "this is what 69 means" speech, by time I was 13 or so my mom was discussing magazines she liked to read, which she is interested in serial killers and ancient torture. Which included some graphic sexual stuff. At 15, when I had my first boyfriend, she let me share a bed with him when we stayed at a B&B and she told me she preferred I didn't have sex until I was older, but she gave me a piece of lingerie if I decided I wanted to. No big deal. She also showed me her hickeys and told me about her flings. At 17, I was discussing sex with her while my boyfriend was in the car and watching him go beet red at the idea that she knew we were having sex.

My parents are American. I think my mom is probably somewhere on the ace spectrum, she never liked sex and always found it disappointing/boring but is under the assumption if you are with a man, he has to have sex or he'll cheat so you can't say I don't like it. I knew I was _different_ at 13, when I realized I didn't experience ANY attraction (even aesthetic) to people, but I didn't know asexuality existed until I was 25.

[House of Chimeras]

I learned at very young age how reproduction occurred. I grew up watching documentaries on animals. By 7 or 8, my mother gave me the talk but I already knew about it more or less. My family is American and I’m sure my mother is sexual. I didn’t realize I was asexual until I was 20.

[WhenSummersGone]

I mostly learnt about sex in Sex Ed. My mom never talked to me about sex but my dad did, when I had questions. It was awkward talking to a male about sex when it's different for females, but at least I got some knowledge about sex from him.

[Veritastar]

My parents aren't asexual, but I know for a fact that they feel they have transcended the need for sex and don't have any anymore and their relationship is very healthy.

I learned my sex ed from the internet (sadly).

I did not know about asexuality until I was 18 or 19. I did not fully embrace my sexuality until sometime this year when I fully educated myself about asexuality instead of just part of it like before. I was confused before but now I am not.

[Elderberry]

I put down that my parents 'talked about sex', but it was extremely minimal. In fact, I think there were only three occasions where it was brought up:

Mom (at 17): "Our family is very fertile. It only takes once."

Mom (at 18): "Men need their sex."

Dad (at 18): "Don't have sex until you are ready to deal with the possibility of having kids."

I knew at the time that I was not interested in sex, even though I was dating. I just didn't know that asexuality was 'A Thing' and assumed that either I would find a guy who liked me for who I was (and didn't want sex) or that I would (maybe) develop sexual feelings someday. I did not understand other people felt sexual attraction until I found AVEN and realized I was ace at 24.

[Philip027]

Dad (at 18): "Don't have sex until you are ready to deal with the possibility of having kids."

I like your dad. That's always been my take on things

[Prrple]

I'm 16, asexual, and my parents told me nothing about sex and I never asked. The closest to a sex talk I got was that celibacy is the only 100% way to not get a baby. My mom had a bad relationship from about 8 years before I was born to when I was about 2. I don't think she and my stepdad have sex, but I don't know if they're asexual or anything. Me and my mom are American and my stepdad is Canadian. Long live the Canucks, maple syrup, and Canadian bacon. *Cheers*

I learned everything about sex by myself and that was, well, awkward. I've known since I was about 12 that there was no way I wanted to have sex with anybody. I tell my family this and my stepdad says "Thank god!" every time. (Just to clarify: we're not religious. He's just VERY happy.) But I didn't know all the different sexualities or anything and was stuck with just hetero, homo, and bi :(. I had no idea there was a sexuality that reflected what I felt until 2012. (Has it really been so long? God, I feel old.)

[Kung Fu Witch]

I'm French, well Alsatian, so a weird mix of French and German, my grandparents (maternal) were born French but raised German, my father born and raised French, my mother was raised more German than French, but she's officially French... It's complicated

If by talking about sex, you mean the 'babies happen because of sex' talk, then I learned that without my parents, in books, when I was 6 or 7 (and then I explained what I had learned to my mother, so my parents knew that I knew). The safe sex talk was handled by school, but my parents made sure I understood everything, and if I had questions I would ask them about it, so I would say they talked about sex with me. The talk that stuck with me was a moment when I was 13, my parents basically said "If you want to have sex with someone, we won't forbid it and you won't have to hide it from us, it's totally okay, but you're still a bit young for that".

My father bought me condoms when I was fifteen and I went to Ireland (it was my 80-year-old grandmother who brought the subject up, actually, she insisted on it because my grandfather's sister died when she was not even twenty of an illegal abortion gone wrong, and my aunt became pregnant when she was 17, so safe sex and birth control are important for my grandparents).

I know that my father is sexual, when we talked about my asexuality he mentioned he knew from a young age (about 11) he was attracted to women, and my mother is probably sexual as well, she didn't seem to think asexuality applied to her when I explained what it was and talked about my experiences.

[Skycaptain]

Parents never talked about sex, though it happened. never learnt anything at school. left to find out for myself

[noparlpf]

If my great-grandparents were immigrants, does that make me third- or fourth-generation American? Not sure which generation is the first one you count there. Anyway, we've been here for around a hundred years, so we're pretty American.

When I was two and my mother was pregnant with my brother I asked where babies come from. So my mum explained it. We also got this old book (from the '80s?) called "Where Did I Come From?" It's a bit dumbed-down for kids, but it's also no-nonsense. So I knew more about how sex and pregnancy work at two than most high school kids learn in health class (based on my high school health class and anecdotes of others' school experiences).

Otherwise, my parents didn't talk about sex except as an academic concept. When I was a teenager, all I got for "the talk" was, "Just remember to use protection, and don't do any drugs," as I was on my way out the door for an evening walk in the middle of November or December when I was fourteen.

Although, my mother does occasionally make some sexual jokes these days, come to think of it.

As for figuring out my sexuality, well, I spent the first few years of puberty assuming I was going to be a late bloomer sexually. If I'd actually known asexuality was an option I probably would have started identifying with it at around thirteen.

[JaySexual]

Nope parents didn't discuss sex, nor did I ever ask anything.

One class in highschool did have a sex-ed segment.

[SweetieBot]

My mom never talked about sex (single parent) - I learned it at school mostly. We're Canadian. My mom is definitely sexual (I've had the unfortunate experience of hearing her and one of her old boyfriends getting it on and yes, it was awkward the next morning).

I mostly just thought I was a late bloomer for quite a while and then decided I was just a weirdo. I really only realized I was different per se when I was about 19.

[Mycroft is Yourcroft]

My parents are British/Australian, and never talked about sex. I sometimes wonder if my mother is asexual, though I'd never be able to ask her about it.

[Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion]

Biologically there was never a time when they weren't open. One of my first picture books was about how an egg and a sperm form a baby and that baby grows in the mother's womb (I make that sound way creepier than it is, it was a book on science really, just facts). And from about age 9 to 15 we lived on a lifestyle block in the country and kept some farm animals. You can't really live in the country and not know where babies come from. You also can't avoid seeing cows humping, it just becomes normal, background images. I find the level of poverty here in the city muh more shocking than I ever found two animals shagging in the country.

However everything, from past sexual experiences, to watching animals was about facts. For example they might say:"The pigs are mating." "As I tennager a slept with (name)" "My first kiss was when I was xx years old, with xxxx" No emotions, no "I felt xxxxx when we kissed"
As for sexuality, about the closest we ever got to talking about it was mum being relieved that there was no chance of my being a gay guy, beacause dad is homophobic, and found gay males in particular hard to deal with (Ughh).

When I was older my mum checked I knew about sex safety, I told her I did from school (true, but THEY never mentioned sexual orientation either)

So I came from a family that was very open about biologocial reproduction, but very closed off about sex.

I think Mum is sad that I didn't feel comfortable talking about sex stuff. Well when I come out, she'll get her wish, in a VERY back-to-front way.

We are a New Zealand family of British decent (down some lines 7 generations of NZers, down others, 1 generation, and the others in-between. :) )


EDIT: I just realised that this complete lack of discussion about emotions and desires is probably why I didn't realise I was any different till I was about 20, and I haven't identified as ace till now, at 22.

[Guest]

When I was about 11 my mother talked about sex to me and my sister. The conversation started when my sister (who was only 9) had asked a question about vaginas so my mother started to tell us how women got pregnant, about condoms and STDs, and then she talked about gays and lesbians (I guess straight was just assumed). Those were the only sexual orientations I had learned about at that point in my life. I remember being very uninterested at the time and most of what my mother said went in one ear and out the other (as if somehow none of it pertained to me) but my sister had many questions. I had never really had any question about people’s “private parts” before and I wonder how many more years would have gone by before my mother told me about sex if my sister had not started asking questions.

[deltaX]

My mom talked to me about puberty when I was in fourth grade, but I'm pretty sure sex wasn't mentioned, or if it was I was too young to comprehend what she was saying. I distinctly remember in fifth grade asking my mom what it meant when people said Mary was a virgin, and still not understanding when her answer was that Mary never had sex.

I guess I figured out what sex actually was sometime around sixth grade, but it wasn't because my mom told me. (At some point I was given one of those sex ed books, but I didn't look at it much- I think the first time I looked at it was when I was 19 trying to figure out my sexuality) Most of my knowledge of sex came from the internet and things my peers said in school.

I'm also American, and figured out I was asexual a few months ago when I was 19.

[(Deleted)]

They talked about sex, but only as education. The whole staying safe talk, but while saying it'd be perfectly normal for me to be interested in women, too. And that there's ways to be safe in that case as well. They never talked about the act itself, they just wanted make sure I knew how to handle things.

I'm not sure about my dad, but my mum is ace as well. I'm thinking my dad might be, too, though. Or Grey.

[RoswellValentine]

I think my mom told me and my brother more than my dad. My brother and I don't really have an interest in relationships at the moment, and neither of us has ever said anything about crushes (that I can remember). My parents are fine that we aren't like most kids trying to get with people.

[iamphoenixfire]

when I was little we had to write a story about how there was a word and we had to see what words in that word sounded like and write a story about that thing explaining the definition.

my word was "aversion." i ended up writing a story about a girl who was against marriage (or should i say "had an aversion against marriage) refused to marry a man because she wanted to remain a virgin and didn't want to be bossed around by men.

i was 9. i did not realize what a virgin was or what it implied.

yeah i got in trouble...

still feminist 9 year old me was rather badass.

[Safe]

My parents showed me a documentary on how baby's are made, and that's it. I had no questions, partially because I understood it for the most part and partially because I wasn't all that interested.