5 Love Languages Poll

[Celestine]

If you've never heard of this before, take the quiz here! http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ I've found it to be pretty accurate. Please at least read the descriptions of the five languages before voting, because they can be misinterpreted by name alone (for example, having Receiving Gifts as your primary language does NOT mean you're a shallow person who's just in it for the jewelry. :P ) Basically I'm just really curious to see the results. :-) An obvious prediction would be that Physical Touch is less likely to be an asexual's primary love language, but then again, who knows? Maybe touch is super super important to you, of a cuddly, non-sexual nature.

For myself, Quality Time is my primary love language by a huuuuuge amount. Nothing is more important to me than sharing time and experiences together. Words of Affirmation is next, and Physical Touch is absolutely last on my list.

Understanding your significant other's love language (or any important person in your life, really) is super important. For example, my boyfriend has this annoying habit of falling asleep in the middle of a movie or TV show, and it drives me nuts. I'm like "We're supposed to be watching Doctor Who and enjoying the experience TOGETHER and then have interesting conversations about it later and you're SLEEPING?!? -____- " Ooooon the other hand, his primary love language is Physical Touch and I'm always like "Ugh stop touching me" soooo XD

How about you?!

[Guest_49836]

Quality Time is second to none

I have "Physical Touch" as second because I think things like acupressure, doing hair, massaging, dancing, kickboxing and cuddling are some really powerful ways to communicate with a human being.

Gifts is last... I want our accomplishments to shine beyond our relationship and not possessions.

[Vyanni Krace]

Difficult because I rarely preferred either option. :/

[IriClowd]

I've actually read the first book about this(my mom is really into it)gary chapman is pretty cool. My love language is words of affirmation.

My second is a tie more or less between quality time and acts of service.

[NiTeLight]

Hmm. Gifts seem to be relatively unimportant... I wonder if it's because us aces don't rely on sex for intimacy, we tend to focus on the other things which bring intimacy to the relationship. Combining one and two... quality time, words of affection, and touch are the most important, it seems. It would be interesting to see a comparison to the general population.

Physical touch was my primary... I'm a big cuddler and I love to give/receive hugs. Quality time was second. It makes sense, because I love hanging out with the people I love (one on one) and I hate it when they avoid me or want to do stuff in large groups. Gifts is last, but I always love to be surprised with little things that say "I'm thinking of you"... but relative to the others, I can see how it is my least important language.

[Purple Heart]

Quality time was highest scored for me (9), with both words of affirmation and acts of service scoring 8. Receiving gifts and physical touch are at the other end of the scale scoring 3 and 2 respectively!

After reading the descriptions at the end I think I value acts of service a bit more than words of affirmation. Which would explain why my brother constantly irritates me when he does things that end up causing more work for me!

Receiving gifts would probably have been higher if it didn't so often seem to be paired against a time, acts or words option! If someone gives you a gift that shows they put a lot of thought (or effort, if handmade) into choosing/making it, then that can mean a hell of a lot :) definitely more so than if a lot of money was spent. For example, one of my best friends gave me a giftcard for last Xmas - it was for more than I could afford to spend on them...which made me feel a lil awkward, but what was most disappointing was that it was for Boots pharmacy. I rarely ever go in there... It seemed like a very odd choice

If, however, it'd been an iTunes one, I could have at least made use of it, even if I do prefer owning CDs. Some songs are only released digitally... :(

[Cimmerian]

Words of Affirmation and Quality Time tied as my highest one, and Touch came in second. Most people who know me would probably laugh hearing how high up my Touch preference was, since I'm so 'peculiar' about how and whom I let touch me.

[Notte stellata]

Physical Touch: 11
Acts of Service: 8
Quality Time: 7
Words of Affirmation: 4
Receiving Gifts: 0

I voted before taking the quiz, and I thought quality of time would be the second. But it's probably because of how the questions were worded. e.g. Some questions ask whether I want more alone time with my partner, but I don't want more. I'm pretty independent and can be perfectly happy with a minimal amount of time together IRL, as long as we share a deep emotional connection.

I don't care about giving or receiving gifts at all. It would be a disaster if I was partnered with someone whose primary love language was receiving gifts, haha. I don't really care about words of affirmation either. It probably only beat receiving gifts in the forced choice questions.

[Guest]

• 2Words of Affirmation

9Quality Time

2Receiving Gifts

6Acts of Service

11Physical Touch

[5_♦♣]

I can't complete it because I can't honestly answer question 13.

[Tenebre]

Touching is top, followed by Quality Time; least is Receiving Gifts. No surprise there for me. As a chronic nomad I rarely get time to be with or touch people who are special to me because I'm not usually within close distance of them. And gifts are sweet but, having grown up in a family that moves every couple of years and has to pare down their possessions to match those moves, terribly impractical unless they're something to be enjoyed like candy. Although I do have a thing for giving small surprise gifts to people...

[Captain Darkhorse]

Having already read the book, I knew that Quality Time and Acts of Service were my two languages. In a close third was Touch though, which surprised me. I'm really particular about whom I let touch me, but those who do I'm pretty affectionate with (as long as I'm allowed to initiate the contact. So never mind, the results make sense).

At the very undisputed very end was Receiving Gifts. I hate tangible gifts. I'll accept small amounts of my favorite foods, but that's literally it.

EDIT: this test was supposed to show your favorite forms of receiving love. I wonder if there's an equivalent way (other than being really aware of yourself) to measure your top way of giving it?

[Guest]

I can't complete it because I can't honestly answer question 13.

There were a few where I wanted to go "neither?" but since it's "preference" I just picked the one that seemed the least awkward.

[Kazoo]

Answering with a hypothetical romantic partner in mind, my top two were quality time (10) followed closely by words of affirmation (8). Receiving gifts and acts of service were tied for last. It seemed pretty accurate, but how much I liked receiving "words of affirmation" would really depend on how they were delivered. I'd much prefer the occasional "I love you" and a heartfelt letter once in a while to a constant barrage of praise-- then I would probably start doubting my partner's sincerity, which would put the relationship into serious trouble. I think that written words, honestly chosen, could be even more important to me than time spent together.

EDIT: this test was supposed to show your favorite forms of receiving love. I wonder if there's an equivalent way (other than being really aware of yourself) to measure your top way of giving it?

I was wondering about this as well! I found myself thinking for several of the questions involving an act of service that I would enjoy giving the act of service much more than receiving it. (I think... that might change in reality.)

[Calla]

Quality Time 10

Physical Touch 9

Words of Affirmation 6

Receiving Gifts 4

Acts of Service 1

The physical touch would have caught me off guard a couple months ago, most would not call me cuddly, I don't even hug friends much. But with my partner I am quite affectionate. Be must be the exception that proves the rule.

I think it'd interesting to retake this as giving instead of receiving. I am way more fond of giving special gifts than I even think about getting them. I may also be a bit of a word spewer!

[WhenSummersGone]

Quality Time: 11

Physical Touch: 9

Acts of Service: 4

Words of Affirmation: 4

Recieving Gifts: 2

This makes sense. I enjoy time and touch the most. I like the other stuff but not as much. I took the quiz with a boyfriend in mind rather than family, and if I took it again for family it would be much different.

[Guest]

Quality time: 10

Acts of service: 9

Physical touch: 7

Words of affirmation: 2

Receiving gifts: 2

It's pretty accurate, although I'd say I'm more touch-driven in relationships than that test makes it seem. Mostly because I enjoy touch from a loved one, but not from friends, and a good deal of questions in the test also involved friends.

[ThaHoward]

Congrats with the 8000th post :P

[tuvok]

Tough one. I think my primary is acts of service. Secondary would be words of affirmation. Least favorite would be "quality time".

Company is stressful and I think it might show.

It's not that I dislike being around people it is just that I am far more uncomfortable spending time with people than receiving a hug or something.

[Vyanni Krace]

I don't really see myself with any of those as my 'love languages'. :/

They're all stuff I'm rather unlikely to do...I'm too awkward to actually say 'I love you' or whatever, I wouldn't want to express my 'love' with gifts either. I'm not too good with physical contact and I prefer to be alone for long periods of time than be with people for long periods of time. 'Acts of service' is a sorta, sorta not, because I'd happily do favours, but I wouldn't really know how to express my 'love' through my actions and I'd feel too awkward.

[qwair]

I hated doing this quiz, and could barely complete it. It felt to me like every question needed a 'neither' option, and some were really random selections. It completely focused on the way I want my partner to act, and didn't ask at all about how I want to act toward my partner. For me these are two completely different things: For example, I express love by doing things for my partner (Acts of service) but I don't feel loved when they to do things for me.

I don't want my partner to act in any way that isn't natural to them, which is why I wanted to select 'neither' to almost all questions. It's much more important for me to tell them how I express love and to learn how they express it. For me to even think about voicing expectations about how they should behave or what I need them to do to feel loved makes me want to vomit.

[Preskom]

I separate in 3 categories..

What I like friends do for me;

Primary Quality time

Secondary Words of affirmation

Absolutly not Physical touch

What I like Partners do for me;

Primary Physical touch

Secondary Acts of Service

Absolutly not Receiving gifts

What I like to do for others;

Primary Quality time

Secondary Giving gifts

Absolutly not Acts of service

[Guest]

This quiz was plain weird to me, because I dont want friends touching me. It made me pick the other option almost every time it showed up, even the questions "I like to kiss/gett kissed by my loved ones" (as if I have several of them). Nasty, I really cant picture myself hugging, cuddling and kissing friends, seriously. This made gifts and affirmation get higher points than I think they deserve, because physical touch would be something I kinda want if I am in a relationship with someone I love... and I dont feel love for friends.

My scores:

10 Quality time

6 Words of Affirmation

5 Acts of Service

5 Physical touch

4 Receiving Gifts

[ThaHoward]

• 7Words of Affirmation

11Quality Time

1Receiving Gifts

5Acts of Service

6Physical Touch

[mayve]

9 Words of Affirmation

8 Acts of Service

7 Receiving Gifts

5 Quality Time

1 Physical Touch

Though it says physical touch is just one, I like hugs and such too. :)

[5_♦♣]

Tie between quality time and physical touch.

[Nanook]

Quality Time: 9

Acts of Service: 9

Physical Touch: 7

Words of Affirmation: 5

Receiving Gifts: 0

[caffeine]

I hated doing this quiz, and could barely complete it. It felt to me like every question needed a 'neither' option, and some were really random selections.

This. I mean, seriously. None of these things are in any way indicator of love for me. And I don't want people doing them - like 85% of the stuff mentioned makes me feel uncomfortable, and the rest makes me feel awkward. Definitely not loved. I finished it out of pure curiousity, choosing the less painful options as I went.

3Words of Affirmation

10Quality Time

2Receiving Gifts

9Acts of Service

6Physical Touch

P.S. Bonus nitpicking round: The alternative to 'Single' is apparently 'Married'? Really? And, if you're in a relationship and go for that as the closest alternative, it gives you to choose a role - 'husband' or 'wife'. This is where I faceplamed. Go, heteroquiz, go!

[5_♦♣]

In all fairness, it's still illegal in most countries for same sex couples to wed.

[qwair]

In all fairness, it's still illegal in most countries for same sex couples to wed.

But in a lot of countries, it's pretty common for people to be in unmarried serious relationships, heterosexual or homosexual.

To have only married or single, without other options, to sum things up simplistically as five love languages (not three and not eleven, although I'm sure we could find six more 'love languages' with about five more minutes of brainstorming), and not to distinguish between expressing and receiving love, aren't a huge issue in themselves. They just help to show the bias, superficiality, shoddy research, little or no scientific background, and pop-psych self-help snake-oil salesmen approach that typify these sorts of books and quizzes.

Don't get me wrong, it's okay to write and take silly quizzes for fun, but someone is actually making money from this nonsense.