#AsexualProblems

[deathsangelchild]

when all your friends go to a party, but you don't want to go because they promised there would be twerking and *shudder* grind lines, and they can't understand why you don't want to go. #asexualproblems

[Destan]

When people who you don't talk to but have a little to none connection suddenly start to greet you.

I'm very wary of people, especially who are or mind as well be strangers. (Though I don't have that when I meet new friends of friends.)

This happened to me twice and both people just go to the same school as I am but aren't from the same year.

However, this person uses the same bus stop and we pass by each other often.

I don't know why but they just greet me starting from this month and I honestly dislike that. I then feel obligated to reply.

Personally, if I've this kind of connection with people, then there's no need for us to talk unless there's a reason to do so.

I find it very strange from people around my age to suddenly talk to me because that almost doesn't happen.

The only people who approach me are elderly people (or other fellow Asians.) 

[DolphinLover22]

Just came out to a friend as asexual. She looked confused and asked for details, and as I started to explain it, she said, "oh... I thought asexual meant that you don't identify as female or male". I was like 🤦🤦 no one understands... 

#aceproblems

 

Also, people saying you're not really asexual because they attempt to relate and say "see? You're normal!!" By relate, I mean they don't find a specific guy attractive, or say that they didn't like sex at first, etc...

Edited November 20, 2019 by DolphinLover22

[nerdperson777]

On 11/11/2019 at 5:26 PM, Bronztrooper said:

I don't like being touched or touching people, but I do get touch-starved from time to time, which sucks.

 

There are times when I just want someone to lay on top of me- you know, like a cat-, but I'm only really ok with physical closeness like that when I'm emotionally close to the person.  So yeah, not fun.

I thought about a comic I just read. https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/sarahs-scribbles/squirm/viewer?title_no=50260&episode_no=191

 

 

On 11/12/2019 at 10:16 AM, naakka said:

Oh, I see. You actually sound a lot like me! Like, sitting/lying close to a person is fine but not touching intentionally or hugging or anything. Giving or receiving a (non-sexual) massage might be the only intentional touch I can enjoy. Like, when you have a purpose for the touch and not just touching for the sake of touching 😆

 

Could you have a day off for yourself at times? I mean, nothing fancy, just a road trip or a visit to a library or something.

I bought a massage package like 2 years ago.  It's prepaying for 6 hours worth.  It's still cheaper than most massage places nearby I heard.  My mom can't understand why I can like massages when she hates them.

 

On 11/12/2019 at 3:39 PM, ColeHW34 said:

I'm touch repulsed yet touch starved.

 

I guess chronic loneliness makes you feel that way, you become so used to not being cuddled or talked to so you start craving attention but you also like being alone so you become repulsed by it. Or at least that's my working theory

 

Growing up, my mom noticed that I didn't like being hugged so she didn't hug me.  But she failed to wonder why.  The only thing her hands and arms were to me for hitting me.  How can I trust the hand that gives me pain to give me warmth?  I did eventually try hugging with someone but I'd say I got too obsessive and I wanted to be physically close almost all the time we were near.  We didn't talk for a while and although we talk again, I no longer need her touch.  I think it's mostly a defensive mechanism for me to not do the same thing as I did previously.  I'm fine with just getting massages.  I don't have to be emotionally attached to it.

 

I'll have to find the picture, but there's a short comic about someone sitting on a couch alone, crying "I want someone to cuddle me".  Meanwhile, the next panel they're outside saying "OMG get away from me".

[ColeHW34]

2 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

Growing up, my mom noticed that I didn't like being hugged so she didn't hug me.  But she failed to wonder why.  The only thing her hands and arms were to me for hitting me.  How can I trust the hand that gives me pain to give me warmth?  I did eventually try hugging with someone but I'd say I got too obsessive and I wanted to be physically close almost all the time we were near.  We didn't talk for a while and although we talk again, I no longer need her touch.  I think it's mostly a defensive mechanism for me to not do the same thing as I did previously.  I'm fine with just getting massages.  I don't have to be emotionally attached to it.

 

I'll have to find the picture, but there's a short comic about someone sitting on a couch alone, crying "I want someone to cuddle me".  Meanwhile, the next panel they're outside saying "OMG get away from me".

(Hugs)

I'm mainly really sensitive to pressure and there have been reports of hitting but I have yet to see evidence of it.

Then I'm afraid of pool vaccums and pools in general because I was always dragged and thrown into the pool when I was younger by my own brothers.

[deathsangelchild]

So today  my friend was trying to show me all these memes. The problem was they were all sexually oriented and I just had to sit there and nod awkwardly like "...okkkkkayyyy???/". Growing up thinking I was straight I get them but I'm faintly repulsed  by memes like those. They kept looking at me weird because i wasn't laughing at them. 

#aceproblems

[Buddy:-)]

I'm a teen so I'm still in school and the other day in Bio my teacher went around and asked us all what about someone we were attracted to. Me slouching in my seat and saying IDK. Then she looks at me really weirdly. I'm all #notattractedtoanyone

Also #firstpostever

[Buddy:-)]

Did not figure out what was so funny about Uranus until 8th grade. Did an entire project on the planet's listening to people snigger while I was talking about it.

[Skycaptain]

@Buddy:-), welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 

[starweb]

Had a lady ask if she could hug me yesterday. She was my mom-in-law's new next-door neighbor, and we were helping her settle in, helping her get groceries and so on. She didn't wait for an answer, she just did.  I don't think I'll stand too close to her from now on.

[SkoomaPipe]

New here, already said hi but I'll say it here too 😃 and throw in a few of my own experiences to this #asexualproblems pool ^^

Girl who I've openly admitted to having a crush on keeps trying to convince me that she is in fact straight...

Watching vintage porn with a friend and his girlfriend, surprised when they ask me if I'd like to have sex with them. *awkward escape ensues*

And one last one ^^
Male friend: "Dam, you see that ass!?"
Me: "Huh? What ass?"
Friend: "You were just talking to it..."
Me: "Who, you?"
Friend: *sigh*
Me: *sigh*

[Chihiro]

1 minute ago, SkoomaPipe said:

Male friend: "Dam, you see that ass!?"
Me: "Huh? What ass?"
Friend: "You were just talking to it..."
Me: "Who, you?"
Friend: *sigh*
Me: *sigh*

Cracked me up

[Skycaptain]

@SkoomaPipe, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂

 

"did you see that ass?" 

 

*looks around for a large equine *

[SkoomaPipe]

@Skycaptain Thanks! 😃 / thanks for existing 
My cousin has an ass, only met it once ^^ it was cute lol. Probably all grown up and not so cute now xD

[Bio 7]

6 hours ago, SkoomaPipe said:

@Skycaptain Thanks! 😃 / thanks for existing 
My cousin has an ass, only met it once ^^ it was cute lol. Probably all grown up and not so cute now xD

That reads in a deliberately weird way.

[SkoomaPipe]

29 minutes ago, Bio 7 said:

That reads in a deliberately weird way.

Sorry lol, it's just so hard to resist. 

[Bunnymoon]

So this guy I work with is overly sexual. Whenever I say ANYTHING he tries to put some sort of spin on it. I feel like he’s the type of person who just wouldn’t understand if I said “hey, I’m asexual” so I just kind of fake laugh and walk away from him. But it’s really, really annoying. He’s the boss’ son too -.-

[Destan]

I finally get how other asexuals feel when they played Cards Against the Humanity.

I had to play it today and ....how can people write so many possible dirty and sexual answers? 90% of the answer cards were so dirty. 🤮

When it was my turn, I couldn't finish reading the possible answers out loud or even not say it all and just show it to everyone.

The cards in my hands, I kinda refused to not use the dirty cards unless I really had no choice.

I did laugh along though throughout the game, because of how ridiculously dirty it was.

The whole time I was thinking 'is there a non-sexual and not dirty version of this?' 😅

To be honest, I never want to play this game ever again. It's too dirty.

[Bronztrooper]

12 minutes ago, Destan said:

I finally get how other asexuals feel when they played Cards Against the Humanity.

I had to play it today and ....how can people write so many possible dirty and sexual answers? 90% of the answer cards were so dirty. 🤮

When it was my turn, I couldn't finish reading the possible answers out loud or even not say it all and just show it to everyone.

The cards in my hands, I kinda refused to not use the dirty cards unless I really had no choice.

I did laugh along though throughout the game, because of how ridiculously dirty it was.

The whole time I was thinking 'is there a non-sexual and not dirty version of this?' 😅

To be honest, I never want to play this game ever again. It's too dirty.

Personally, I enjoy the game because of how ridiculously outrageous things can get, even though some of the cards are pretty graphic.

[Zectarash]

7 hours ago, Destan said:

I finally get how other asexuals feel when they played Cards Against the Humanity.

I had to play it today and ....how can people write so many possible dirty and sexual answers? 90% of the answer cards were so dirty. 🤮

When it was my turn, I couldn't finish reading the possible answers out loud or even not say it all and just show it to everyone.

The cards in my hands, I kinda refused to not use the dirty cards unless I really had no choice.

I did laugh along though throughout the game, because of how ridiculously dirty it was.

The whole time I was thinking 'is there a non-sexual and not dirty version of this?' 😅

To be honest, I never want to play this game ever again. It's too dirty.

Apples to Apples. It's the game CAH is based on. It's on the opposite end of the graphicness, overall.

 

I don't even get why people even find things funny just because they're dirty, though. If it's at least a pun, then sure, I can sort of get it (probably won't appreciate it, but I'll get it), but I don't really get "funny because taboo" or "funny just because it's so graphic."

[ColeHW34]

7 hours ago, Destan said:

I finally get how other asexuals feel when they played Cards Against the Humanity.

I had to play it today and ....how can people write so many possible dirty and sexual answers? 90% of the answer cards were so dirty. 🤮

When it was my turn, I couldn't finish reading the possible answers out loud or even not say it all and just show it to everyone.

The cards in my hands, I kinda refused to not use the dirty cards unless I really had no choice.

I did laugh along though throughout the game, because of how ridiculously dirty it was.

The whole time I was thinking 'is there a non-sexual and not dirty version of this?' 😅

To be honest, I never want to play this game ever again. It's too dirty.

Funnily enough my friends played Cards against humanity and it was flat out pretty clean but funny.

I swear all of us are ace but don't want to let others know.

[Skycaptain]

I think it's horses for courses. I can see why CAH isn't for everyone, irrespective of orientation. It's "the game for nasty people" after all, but even at AVEN meets, with the right people it goes down well. 

[griffinej5]

I feel some sort of way about this, but I’m not sure exactly what. I hope I can describe this in a way that makes sense. 

So, I have a friend who I have known now for about 20 years. We’ve known each other since middle school, now in our thirties. Recently, in the past year and a half, we made some new friends. Some context, new friends are all LGBTQ+. Some of these friends thought the long term friend and I were a couple. Nope, we’re not, just have known each other longer than not now. Pretty sure my friend has said she’s straight, and I haven’t exactly answered it. I’ve not often felt a need to be out unless there was some context for the discussion. Because someone was mistaken isn’t context for it in my head. Anyway, one of these people in particular continued to bring it up, but the way it was being said, I (and I think my friend also) thought they were joking. We continued to kind of play at the joke a bit because honestly, it was funny. The last time or two I’ve seen the newer friend who thought we were together, it seemed to be that this person was not joking about it anymore. The long term friend and I went out this weekend with one of the newer friends and her husband. We got to discussing that for a bit, I thought we were all joking, and this was funny, but of recent, I don’t think the other person (who was not out with us) is joking anymore. Friend we were out with says no, the other one has always thought we were denying it, and was never joking. Other piece of context, friend who still thinks we’re dating, also seems to be a bit of a home wrecker. The friend we were out with did say she will tell the other one to back off it if I want her to do that, which I appreciate that she’d do, but I’m also not sure it wouldn’t create other questions. 

[Guest]

When a coworker you thought was just being nice might actually have been hitting on you. Like great, now I have hide at work on my breaks, cool

[Bronztrooper]

8 hours ago, i.r3beka said:

When a coworker you thought was just being nice might actually have been hitting on you. Like great, now I have hide at work on my breaks, cool

That just reminds me of one guy at one of my previous jobs that kept insisting I looked like a celebrity (I think he said I looked like Matt Damon, which I most definitely don't) and while I didn't think much of it at the time, thinking back it could've been a flirting attempt.

 

At my most recent job a coworker kept hitting on me at least once a week and joked about "taking me home" multiple times as well as making very sexual comments about me, also assuming I had a gf and 'jokingly' asking if my (non-existant) gf would mind if she "borrowed me for a night".

 

Extremely uncomfortable, to say the least.

[Bio 7]

17 minutes ago, Bronztrooper said:

That just reminds me of one guy at one of my previous jobs that kept insisting I looked like a celebrity (I think he said I looked like Matt Damon, which I most definitely don't) and while I didn't think much of it at the time, thinking back it could've been a flirting attempt.

 

At my most recent job a coworker kept hitting on me at least once a week and joked about "taking me home" multiple times as well as making very sexual comments about me, also assuming I had a gf and 'jokingly' asking if my (non-existant) gf would mind if she "borrowed me for a night".

 

Extremely uncomfortable, to say the least.

Makes you sound like an object to be used like a sex toy. Allo people can be so strange.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Bronztrooper said:

That just reminds me of one guy at one of my previous jobs that kept insisting I looked like a celebrity (I think he said I looked like Matt Damon, which I most definitely don't) and while I didn't think much of it at the time, thinking back it could've been a flirting attempt.

 

At my most recent job a coworker kept hitting on me at least once a week and joked about "taking me home" multiple times as well as making very sexual comments about me, also assuming I had a gf and 'jokingly' asking if my (non-existant) gf would mind if she "borrowed me for a night".

 

Extremely uncomfortable, to say the least.

Wtf. 

 

Why is the only consideration only if you have a partner not if you’re disinterested? Like, even if I had a partner I wouldn’t belong to him or her, I belong to myself.

 

Also, like, why assume everyone you hit on is reciprocating your feelings?

 

idk what to do. What should I do? I want to say “I’m asexual so if you want a hookup let’s not waste our time,” but I can’t do that because it seems antagonistic, and it seems accusatory, like I don’t want to accuse this person of being off putting even though they are.

 

Advice?

[Skycaptain]

@Bronztrooper, sounds like you made the best decision in putting a lot of distance between yourself and that bubblebrain.

 

Mind I have turned around to someone who was soliciting and said "sorry I'm the wrong orientation" 

[Irony-flower]

I am new here but I read a bit in this thread and I really had to laugh so much through some of it. 

I never had a Problem with Card against humanity.I think it's really funny howe supid it all can be. Also I have the best tactic to win I use the most disgusting one and then make sure everyone knows its mine so they are so shocked that I am not that innocent and vote for mine no matter how stupid it really is.

 

For me the biggest problem is that I never get if anyone is flirting with me.... I always think cool I have new friends and then later find out that they thought we went on a date.

Wish I could say This did not happened more then once...

[Bunnymoon]

I enjoy cards against humanity. I played Telestrations "After Dark" this weekend and was SO lost on some of the phrases.